It was all downhill from there. That video was so gay that some people believe it actually started the AIDS epidemic in the early 80's. That's not true, by the way. AIDS was created by a secret society of important members of the Conservative Right at a facility on Plum Island to help "spread the word of God", or so they claimed. It backfired on them when they found they could no longer spend the weekends at their favorite glory hole. It must suck to be so repressed.
Sadly, Billy's career never rebounded from that nightmare of a video. His fanbase had largely seen Squier as a guitar hero, and the prancing idiot video on MTV changed all of that. His next few albums tanked and he slid off into rock star obscurity.
Flash forward ten years, and I'm at beach club in the Hamptons (God, how I hate the Hamptons) with some friends. Jagrmeister is promoting something or other with a Celebrity beach volleyball game, and Squier is one of those set to appear along with some Playboy centerfolds and somebody from Menudo, I think. Cool! I had wondered just what happened to that guy.
Fucking guy shows up in a cut-off tank top and a pair of daisy duke cut-off jean shorts!
They were so short that I think his junk was hanging out of the bottom of them, but I can't be sure. I had to look away before I was blinded. Blinded by the gayness of it all.
Some dudes never learn.
Reminds me of the time that Slyde came to Key West on vacation with me and a couple of other friends. Two of the most awesome things ever happened there:
- I can't really blame him, but Slyde packed more for a beach vacation than a "hanging out in bars" vacation. He wasn't really made aware of what Key West was all about. One day he dressed himself in a cutoff black tank top (with fringes if I recall correctly) and a pair of short, bright orange shorts. The rest of us looked at each other, not really believing what we were seeing, but also not saying anything out loud. Lest Slyde changed his outfit and ruin our fun. So we head out into town to hit a few bars. On the way, we just couldn't contain ourselves. We just had to tell him how gay he looked. He turns around and says "What? THIS is gay?" with his hands on his hips or something. I don't think the rest of us ever laughed as hard as we did at that question. He hurried back to the hotel and quickly changed into a slightly more hetero look. He still got hit on, a lot, by some of the local talent, but we'll never let him forget that outfit. Priceless!
- The four of us guys headed out to a booze cruise one evening. It was a sunset cruise on one of those big catamarans, and it seemed to be filled with mostly German and Scandanavian tourists. We were having a Dabba-do time when this guy comes up to us and joins the conversation. Nice guy, but from the things he was saying (He was a florist, he had a rough week and just drove himself down there to possibly meet someone, he liked cock, etc..) he was obviously gay. At least obvious to me. Who cares? Nice guy, right? Anyway, after a litle while he looked at the four of us and asked "So, are you the four of you couples?" The boys were a bit flummuxed at this. Lots of hemming and hawing until one of them said "Um, I've got to go to the bathroom." To which Slyde and my other friend immediately said "Yeah, us too. We have to go to the bathroom." So they up and left me alone with our new friend who immediately said "you know, I wasn't trying to hit on any of you. None of you are my type." We laughed about the situation and he mentioned that it was a hell of a lot gayer to have all gone to the bathroom together than stay there and talk with him. Awesome! I wonder if they had a good time together in the little boy's room?
PS - Slyde is gonna be so pissed at me. I wonder just how he wil respond. Remember, this is still a fairly anonymous personal blog. If you are going to post a picture of me dressed as a wizard then at least photo-shop my face out of the pic. Thanks!
PS2 - Been adding a lot of new blogs to my blogroll over there on the left. Check 'em out for free now!!!! One of these days I'll roll the "new" links in with the old then it will be a grand ole' party. Huh, what?
PS3 - The latest over at MovieGrenade brings the boredom like never before. Prepare to be underwhelmed.