May 10, 2015

Magic Man

Do you ever think of a person and suddenly they text or call you?

Or have a movie on your mind when you are flipping through the channels only to find that it just started on some cable station?

Stuff like this happens to me all the time. Not exactly those things, but stuff like them. In fact, I only have one specific "ability" when it comes to predicting silly, meaningless shit. Songs on the radio. I'll often be thinking of a song when all of a sudden it appears out of nowhere on whatever Sirius XM Radio station that I'm listening to at that moment. That happens to me all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.

But something happened the other day that truly freaked me out. I was thinking of a Sonic Youth song from their 1988 album Daydream Nation. The song, Teenage Riot, was the first single and probably the biggest hit for them off of that album. That's not saying much. I probably had never heard the song on the radio at any time, even in the early 90's when Sonic Youth was a bit of an "it" band. And if you are a fan of the band, you would definitely know it as a big moment in their career.

I became a fan of Sonic Youth a year or so later when their album Goo came out, and I immediately went and picked up the earlier albums. That's when I first heard Teenage Riot and I fell in love with it. I was a fan of the band and that scene prior to hearing that song, but I became obsessed shortly thereafter. It shaped my musical taste for the better part of a decade. Hugely important song in my life.

Yet, I had never heard it on the radio. Not even once. Until Friday.

I was thinking about how much the station Lithium on Sirius/XM Radio both rules and sucks at the same time. It rules because they play all that music that I was obsessed with during that decade. It sucks because they only play the mega-hits. If they play Nirvana, it's Heart-Shaped Box when it could be Love Buzz. If they play The Pixies, it's Here Comes Your Man when it could be Cactus. And when they really dig deep and play Sonic Youth, it's always Kool Thing. Always. And that's a great fucking song, but it's literally the only Sonic Youth they ever play.

I was thinking how great it would be if they would play a song like Teenage Riot for once. Just once. And I was thinking about how much I love that song and what it meant to me over the years. I sat there listening to the radio, just getting pissed about all of that.

So I turned the station to Pearl Jam Radio...and Teen Age Riot had just started.


How the fuck does something like that happen at that exact moment?

Apr 29, 2015

How could you not?

Hey, kids!

Thought about dusting off the old Verdant Dude (the site, not the actually dude behind the Dude) for a while now. But I haven't really had anything to ramble about. Still don't, but that's not gonna stop me.

So my woman has her celebrity crushes. I have mine as well, so I don't hold it against her. Michael Shannon and Tom Hardy are her latest two guys. I introduced her to the latter, and definitely had a part in her fascination with the former. So I'm a part of this, whether I like it or not.

We received a promo copy of some celeb magazine in the mail yesterday that featured a cover photo of Tom Hardy in the re-boot of the Mad Max series. Normally I move these crap mags directly from the mail box to our garbage bin, but since it was one of Gia's crushes I brought it in for her. When she got home from her latest gig, it was waiting for her on her desk.

Gia: "Wait...what? Tom Hardy? He looks great! Why is he on the cover of this magazine? Why do we have it?"

She blathers on.

I explain why he's on the cover.

Me: "He's Max Rockatansky, from the new Mad Max know that?"
Gia: "That's right! Wait...what's his last name? Rocka..what? How could you know that?"
Me: "How could you not?"

That's something that goes on a lot in our life. A lot. We are the same age. Graduated from High School the same year. Graduated from college...roughly the same year. Lived through this world at just about the exact same time in roughly the same place. Long Island.

Yet we have vastly different experiences in that same time and place. Music, films, friends, North Shore vs South Shore...all that crap. When I don't know something that she knows...the question is always the same. How could you not? Same goes for the stuff I'm aware of that she isn't. How could you not?

The Road Warrior (Mad Max 2 for you fucking foreigners) and it's predecessor where HUGE movies in my circle. I'm guessing not so much with Gia and her crowd. So me knowing the character's last name is nearly equivalent to knowing my own. I don't even think about it. It's there. Yet looking at that conversation from outside my self...yeah, I guess it's weird that I know that. I dunno.

Don't know why I find this whole thing amusing, but I do.

How could you not?

Feb 7, 2015

A quick (not really) word about Bourbon


Yup. Been so long since I posted that it's echoing with the emptiness in here. No matter, I'll trudge on. The last time you heard from me here I was reviewing horror films the entire month of October. It was an Internet sensation and it was covered by all the major media outlets (it was not). But now it's time to talk bourbon.

As some of you may know, I'm a bourbon guy. It became my adult beverage of choice roughly 6-7 years ago. Before that it was good craft beer and before that it was tequila. I enjoy gin just as much as the next gentlemen, but I rarely keep any at home. Nope, for me it's bourbon with the occasional side venture to rye. I'll get to that in a moment.

Bourbon is a whiskey (with an "e") made here in the United States. Used to be just Kentucky, but now it's produced in virtually every state that allows the distillation of whiskey. It has to be made from a grain mixture that is at least 51% corn. The other 49% can be more corn, wheat, rye, barley or literally any other grain you can imagine. I had a whiskey that used quinoa once. Healthy whiskey. It has to be aged in new, charred oak barrels. It has to be distilled at no more than 160 proof, entered into the barrel at no more than 125 proof and bottled at 80 proof or higher. There is no specific duration that is required for aging in the barrel.

That's it. That's bourbon. Simple, right? Wrong. The variation in bourbon is seemingly endless when you consider the multitude of grains that can be used and the varying lengths of time that it can spend in the barrel. Generally, the longer it spends in the barrel the smoother the whiskey. And pricier because of the duration of the process and the amount of liquid that evaporates (the Angel's Share) during the aging process. But basically there are 3 major types of bourbons on the market today.

  1. Traditional Bourbons. These are what most people think of when they think of bourbon. Made with a mash bill that contains roughly 70% corn with the rest split mostly evenly between rye and barley. Jim Beam, Wild Turkey, Evan Williams, Old Crow, etc... These are all traditional bourbons.
  2. High-Rye Bourbons. As the name implies, these bourbons are made with a higher rye content than most. I've found these to be spicier than traditional bourbons. Old Grand-Dad, Bulleit, Buffalo Trace and Woodford Reserve are all examples of high-rye bourbons.
  3. Wheated Bourbons. These bourbons use a large portion of wheat in their mash bill, resulting in a mild, sweeter bourbon. Maker's Mark, Rip Van Winkle, Old Fitzgerald and W.L. Weller are all really good wheated bourbons. 
Anyway, that's my understanding of bourbon. I'm far from an expert on the matter, so it's possible I got a detail or three wrong in there. There are plenty of places on the Internet where you can delve into the matter more deeply. I highly encourage you to do just that if it interests you.

I'm no bourbon snob. Quite the opposite. I enjoy Jim Beam as I enjoy Budweiser. I usually keep some at home and I'll go to Beam in a pinch when I'm out and about. I enjoy Old Grand-Dad immensely, which is weird to me. It's incredibly inexpensive, but it's tasty as all hell. Uses the same mash bill as Basil Hayden's (who actually IS Old Grand-Dad), but it's aged fewer years and bottled (in bond) at 100 proof. It's a great everyday bourbon. But I also like some of the higher priced bourbons like Bulleit, Wood ford Reserve and Maker's Mark. When I say "higher priced" I mean in the $30-$40 range. Still pretty inexpensive when you consider the cost of many Scotch whiskeys.

One of the tastiest bourbons I've ever enjoyed was Pappy Van Winkle 23-year. That was 4-5 years ago when it was possible to get a bottle without taking a second mortgage on your home. Because of demand, bottles of Pappy Van 23 go for upwards of $2,000 in many markets today. It's great, but not that great. And a friend of mine had a bottle of Old Van Rip Van Winkle 10-year that he bought in 1990 or so. He had one drink and then put it in the closet for 25 years. That was amazing stuff. An unopened bottle of Old Van Rip from back then would be worth a fortune on the brown market today. Still I'm glad that he shared some with me.

I've always leaned toward the high-rye bourbons like Old Grand-Dad and Bulleit, and ignored the wheated bourbons like Maker's Mark. That Pappy Van Winkle bottle I had was a wheated bourbon, but that's a special treat. But I'd been reading about some of the more inexpensive wheated bourbons lately, and I've been interested in trying some. The problem is that they are hard to find in this area. And when you do find them, many stores have marked them up to ridiculous prices due to the demand. Vultures.

But on Thursday I stopped in to one of my local stores and saw that they had a couple of varieties of W.L. Weller for sale. The 12-year old and the Special Reserve. Oddly, the Special Reserve is their lower end product and the 12-year is the one that is more sought after. There is a store about 20 minutes from my house that advertises it for $120 a bottle. The national average is around $59, but the list price is closer to $20. Price gougers like that store I mentioned are the reason the national average is so high.

The bottle I purchased on Thursday was only $22.99! Ridiculously low, especially in this market. When I read up on it on Thursday evening, I knew I had to go back yesterday and buy several more bottles of the 12-year stuff. I hadn't even tried it yet, but I figured I couldn't pass up that price. So I did, and then I told several friends in the area about it so they could get some for themselves.

I tried it last night and it was really good. Not mind-blowing delicious like the Pappy Van Winkle, but really good. Especially for the price. If it is available at a decent price where you live and you enjoy wheated bourbons, you should give it a try.


Nov 3, 2014

31 of 31: The Houses October Built (2014)

A vain attempt by a formerly prolific blogger to review 31 new (to me) horror films in the 31 days of October. We did it last year and it was a gas. Can we do it once more? Let's find out.

Platform: Amazon Rental on Roku
Starring: Some folks I've never seen before

Well, I did it. I started watching this 31st film on Halloween night around 11PM, so it counts. It's taking me a few days to actually get to the review portion of the program. Mostly because I was deeply disappointed in this film. Not that it's inherently a terrible film. On the contrary, it's mostly a FANTASTIC film. But it all fell apart in the last act, especially the final denouement. Which I will leave un-spoiled, because maybe you'll enjoy it more than I did. But it left me scratching my head and wishing for more.

Here's the deal. A group of young adventurers are off to find the most extreme haunts in America. Not haunted houses, but Halloween-themed scare houses. You know the deal. They've heard of "extreme" haunts that blur the violent line between realism and fantasy, even some that have allegedly featured real deaths. Accidental deaths probably, but you never know. They rent an RV and pack their found-footage cameras and head off.

As they travel from town to town, haunt to haunt, they document the lengths that ordinary people go to for a fright or a thrill. They also encounter the dark underbelly of the haunt culture. Angry and/or sad interviews with customers and haunt actors. And they elicit some anger from the haunt community on their insistence to film the frights. Anger turns to danger as they are "led" from tamer haunts to the extreme haunts that they really want to experience. fare are they willing to go for the ultimate fright or thrill. That's the premise of the film.

Did they bring the scares? Yes. There are some honest-to-God frights in the film. Some of the creeps working at the haunts are truly terrifying. Well, I guess their masks were terrifying. Bottom line, the creeps were creepy. But the film never went to the truly dark places that I thought it was going to go. Don't get me wrong, the ending is dark. Just not the dark that I (or many other reviewers) wanted. It just wasn't satisfying. If the ending had been more in line with what I was hoping for, this would have been my best reviewed film of the year.

As it is? Merely meh.

Verdant Dude Rating: 2.5 out of 5 pumpkin ales

Oct 31, 2014

30 of 31: The Pact (2012)

A vain attempt by a formerly prolific blogger to review 31 new (to me) horror films in the 31 days of October. We did it last year and it was a gas. Can we do it once more? Let's find out.

Platform: Netflix on Roku
Starring: Caity Lotz, Casper Van Dien

One more day til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. One more day til Halloween, blah blah blah blah!

Our little experiment is winding down here, kids. And I have to tell you, I haven't been overwhelmed. Sure...I've found some diamonds in the rough. The Conspiracy, We Are What We Are, Willow Creek, Evil Dead, The Sacrament and The Taking of Deborah Logan were all top-notch. Four out of the six of those are of the found-footage variety. What ya gonna do. The state of the horror genre in the 2010's. I've got another one coming tomorrow, but I'm already thinking that one is gonna win the top prize. I try to save the best for last with these things, ya know.

The Pact has been cluttering up my Netflix queue for quite a while now. Or "My List" as they call it now for us streaming customers. Which bothers me because my Netflix queue was really the only reason I had to use the word "queue" on a somewhat weekly basis. And I dig that word. Sounds so much more posh than "My List". I picked it because it had a scary poster and it stars Caity Lotz, who is a semi-regular on The Arrow TV show, which I enjoy. Lotz proves to me that I have no specific type with women. I'm usually not a big fan of the freckly-faced, dimple-chinned, red-headed all-American type. But daaaaayum, girl! All that and a bag of freckly chips.

Here she plays Annie, a young woman with polychromatic eyes who has to deal with the funeral of her abusive mother as her older sister goes missing. She goes back to the old homestead, where everything looks like it was vacuum-packed from 1972. Terrible paneling, wallpaper, furniture and wall-to-wall carpeting. Pretty much my worst nightmare. Even the funeral home looks like it belongs in a Brady Bunch episode.

Crazy shit starts happening. Her cousin Liz disappears just like here sister did. Then she is attacked by some unseen force. Like unseen as in nothing was there. But she manages to escape the house with her young niece, Eva. She runs to the police who, of course, see some rather large holes in her story. Speaking of holes, she and the detective in charge of the case find a hidden room in her old home. With little peepholes into the other rooms of the house. Like someone was living there and spying on them while they were growing up. Cree...pee! With the help of a childhood psychic friend, we've all got one of those, she discovers a link to a serial killer named Judas who was never caught.

I managed to make it through the entire film even though I was staring lustily at Caity Lotz like the creepy fucking creep that I am. And even though I was warm to her form (eww), I couldn't help but notice that this was one chilling flick. Well made and often truly scary, at times. Certainly a worthwhile entry into this series.

Verdant Dude Rating: 4* out of 5 pumpkin ales.

*bonus points for this. I'm such a creep.

Oct 29, 2014

29 of 31: Grabbers (2012)

A vain attempt by a formerly prolific blogger to review 31 new (to me) horror films in the 31 days of October. We did it last year and it was a gas. Can we do it once more? Let's find out.

Platform: Netflix on Roku
Starring: A bunch of Irish folk

A group of villagers on a remote Irish island, including a police officer from the mainland, come under attack by what appears to be a bloodthirsty pack of tentacled sea creatures. Something fell/crashed out of the sky the night before just off the coast, with the sea creatures taking out an entire crew working on a fishing trawler. And then a bunch of mutilated dead whales wash up on the shore. And a local drunk lobsterman catches a small creature in one of his traps that is clearly not a lobster. In the evening, after his usual routine of getting absolutely hammered at the local pub, he is attacked by the small creature. He survives the encounter, kills the creature and dubs them "grabbers".

The local marine biologist, after examining the dead creature, deduces that they subsist on blood. That all they need to survive is blood and water. And he discovers that alcohol is toxic to them. Which is why the old drunk lobsterman was able to survive his encounter with the grabber, they theorize. And this is when the fun begins. Much like Simon Pegg and Nick Frost heading to the pub in Shaun of the Dead, the villagers decide to get their drink on. Makes sense to me. The only defense against these creatures is a solid bender.

I guess you can tell that this is in the comedy/horror genre rather than just straight horror. And what it lacks in actual frights, it more than makes up for in fun. The cast and the writing are both top-notch. I loved how they tested their theory and then deduced the proper amount of beer and whiskey that each of them would need to consume to fight off the beasties. Lots of fun.

Don't take it too seriously because it's not meant to be be taking seriously. If you like your horror with a side of comedy, of your comedy with a side of horror for that matter, then check this one out. And you may as well get pissed in the process. Just in case.

Verdant Dude Rating: 3.5 out of 5 pumpkin ales

28 of 31: Mine Games (2012)

A vain attempt by a formerly prolific blogger to review 31 new (to me) horror films in the 31 days of October. We did it last year and it was a gas. Can we do it once more? Let's find out.

Platform: Netflix on Roku
Starring: Briana Evigan, Julianna Guill, Joseph Cross

I almost said "fuck it" tonight and watched A Cabin in the Woods again. For the 15th time or so. God, I love that movie. But no, I'm trudging on. And in honor of ACitW, I'm watching a "cabin in the woods" kinda flick. An Aussie/American flick called Mine Games from 2012. And it is both exactly what you think it is and nothing what you would expect at all. Intrigued? neither.

A bunch of handsome kids head to a remote cabin in the woods for a little party time in their oh-so-sweet rape van. Three girls and four guys. The perfect "three couples and another dude" situation that all these films require. Might be one more couple than necessary, but let's not quibble. In a great series of genre tropes, we see vague warnings of recent murders in the paper, they run off the road briefly by someone flagging them down in the dark, they run out of gas and then someone suggests they split up to find the cabin. They don't actually do that, but you have to admire the gumption for someone to even suggest it.

They make serial killer jokes, one of the guys who seems a bit off forgets his meds, and then the lights go off. But there has to be a generator, right? Right. And then they hear someone outside. Loud noises and bumps that go thing in the night. You know, this is really beginning to feel like A Cabin in the Woods. All we need is a basement full of nerds to run the show. Or a mine shaft full of nerds. Maybe just a mine shaft. Yup...we've got that covered.

What happens next? Well, I believe the famed West Texan philosopher Rustin Cohle said it best. "Someone once told me, 'Time is a flat circle.' Everything we've ever done or will do, we're gonna do over and over and over again."

All right, all right, all right...
All right, all right, all right...
All right, all right, all right....
All right, all right, all right....
All right, all right, all right....

Verdant Dude Rating: 2 out of 5 pumpkin ales

Oct 28, 2014

27 of 31: The Den (2013)

A vain attempt by a formerly prolific blogger to review 31 new (to me) horror films in the 31 days of October. We did it last year and it was a gas. Can we do it once more? Let's find out.

Platform: Netflix on Roku
Starring: Melanie Papalia

Ugh...I know I'm either going to either love this one or really hate it. Meet Elizabeth, she's a Mac. Already I'm depressed. Elizabeth is a grad student who is doing her thesis on online activities of the people that she meets through a website called "The Den." It's basically Chatroulette, which I thought wasn't really a thing anymore. She is on the website 24/7, recording everything for her thesis.

Besides her friends and relatives, she encounters pretty much who you would expect her to encounter on a webcam site. Freaks, creeps, children and freaky, creepy children. I'm not sure why anyone would ever use a website like that. One of the feeds shows a still selfie picture of a young woman or girl. After waiting a few seconds to see if anything happens, she switches to a new user. She winds up back to that feed shortly and receives an instant message telling her to not switch the feed, calling her a dumb cunt in the process. While she is sleeping, we see that someone has hacked her password for the site. The same feed of the selfie of the young woman. This time with an audio track of someone in pain and screaming.

Seems as if our young Elizabeth has found a bona-fide hacker/stalker psychopath. And that's our horror premise right there. The entire movie plays out on the webcam of our heroine and stalker victim. The most obvious thing that we experience through her experiences is that the internet is a scary fucking place, and maybe we aren't meant to live online like that. Online trolls are awful, imagine if they found a way into your real life as well?

I hated just about everyone in this film. It's a terrible, terrible way to live. I guess that's the whole point of the film. That the internet might not be as private as you would like to wish. But it could make for a interesting thriller, if you aren't sick of the "found footage" genre. I guess. It started to annoy me after a while. It's only 81 minutes long, but I was pretty much done with it after just half that.

Enter The Den at your own risk.

Verdant Dude Rating: 1 out of 5 pumpkin ales.

26 of 31: Kill List (2012)

A vain attempt by a formerly prolific blogger to review 31 new (to me) horror films in the 31 days of October. We did it last year and it was a gas. Can we do it once more? Let's find out.

Platform: Netflix on Roku
Starring: Neil Maskell, Michael Smiley, MyAnna Buring

Jay and Gal are a couple of former soldiers, back from Iraq and working as hit-men. While Gal is easy-going, Jay has been deeply affected by a mission of theirs that went bad. He hasn't worked in close to a year, and he and his family are running out of savings. Jay's wife arranges a dinner party with Gal and his new girlfriend, Fiona. She hopes that Gal can convince Jay to take another job and support his family.

The dinner party has it's ups and downs, but it ends with Jay agreeing to the new job. Not before Fiona, who resembles a bit of a Goth, carves a crazy Blair Witch-y symbol on the back of the bathroom mirror. Oh and collects some scraps of toilet paper that Jay had used to clean up some bloody nicks on his face after shaving. You know...normal dinner party stuff.

The hit-men meet their client, who somehow knows about the last job that they did and how it all went wrong. He surprises Jay by slicing his hand and insisting that they seal their contract in blood. That's always good. The contract is for three kills. The first goes fairly easy, although the target seems to recognize Jay. He also thanks him before the deed is done. Weirdo. Same thing happens with the second target, although that one is much more complicated due to some particular circumstances that are too horrific for even these dangerous men.

Things begin to unravel at this point. They and their families lives are threatened when they decide to opt out of the contract. You remember...that contract that they sealed with blood. So they agree to finish the job. Fates are accepted, destinies met, stuff like that. But not before it all gets really weird. Like Wicker Man meets Straw Dogs weird. I think I'll leave it at that.

It's a low-key film that probably could have benefited from a larger budget, and maybe a bit more exposition. The main character isn't very likable, in fact he's downright unlikable. So that's a bit of problem, even if his mate Gal seems OK. Well, they ARE hired killers, so... I kinda saw where the whole thing was headed early on. I say "kinda" because I was only kinda right. Did I mention that the film got really fucking weird in the third act? Yeah, there were a few things there I didn't see coming.

Check it out and enjoy the insanity of that last act.

Verdant Dude Rating: 3 out of 5 pumpkin ales