Mar 31, 2008
But one of the highlights of the weekend was yesterday afternoon when we watched Michael Clayton, finally. I say "finally" because we've had the DVD at home for about 2 weeks now, but we hadn't had the time to sit and watch it together.
This was a fantastic film, people. If you haven't seen it yet, give 'er a go. The acting was absolutely outstanding. George Clooney, Tilda Swinton and Tom Wilkinson were all truly deserving of their Oscar nominations, and all three could have won...in my opinion. I haven't seen the film with Daniel Day-Lewis yet, and he is something special in everything he does, but I find it hard to believe that he was THAT much better in that film than Clooney was in this. Simply fantastic.
So, after much deliberation, I think I have added George Clooney to the small list of men (Nathan Fillion, Dave Grohl and Mark Harmon) that I would turn gay for.
PS - I was gonna steal this pie chart from Antonia, but I figured I would just mention it so you can go over and laugh for yourself. - Earl
Mar 28, 2008
I've been deemed Excellent by the NYC Watchdog over at A Pile of Dog Bones. Or at least my blog has. I'm more Mediocre in real life. See what being a comment whore can get you? I'm feeling a little undeserving, especially this week when I haven't really posted anything of substance. I mean, I haven't peed in the corner of a hotel room in quite a while.
Here are the rules (rules?) for being declared Excellent:
1. Identify the originator of this award, and link so she can get her well-deserved traffic. It’s Kayla at Project Mommy.
2. Pass on at least 10 Excellent Blog Awards.
Hmm...I really consider everyone in my blogroll to have excellent blogs. That's why they are on my blogroll. But I'll play by the rules. Here are ten (slightly random) excellent blogs from the larger set of awesomely excellent blogs on my blogroll in no particular order:
And a special nod to Kat, in hopes that she will start blogging again. You're excellent, Kat!
Pass on the excellence folks! And I'll leave you with this quote from boxing legend Joe Lewis.
"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in 14 days I lost two weeks."
Have a great weekend.
Mar 27, 2008
So I take the test and it comes back with my favorite player on my favorite team. Nice!
What's that you ask? A-Rod is my favorite player?
Damn skippy! Go ahead...bring the hate/jealousy.
Mar 26, 2008
FUCK THAT! It's on like popcorn, brothers and sisters! Bring it Slyde!
PS - Somehow I see this ending up with a picture of me dressed as a wizard over at Slydesblog. Well, not if he had any creativity...oooooh burn!
Mar 25, 2008
Mar 23, 2008
Mar 21, 2008
Mar 20, 2008
There, I admitted it.
Not in the way that you might think. I'm not whoring for comments on my blog. I think it's nice and all, and I'm always pleasantly surprised at the number of people reading this drivel. No, I'm more of a comment whore when it comes to other people's blogs. In fact, I don't even think I would have this blog if I didn't enjoy commenting on all of your posts, but then I would be the crazy guy who nobody really knows but shows up all the time with a sarcastic comment.
See, commenting for me is a way for me to release all of my sarcastic fervor onto the world without getting punched in the face every day. And in the comment box, I can let the world know that I was only being sarcastic by ending my comment with a simple smiley face. ;) See how he winks at you? That means that its okay when I say that I wanted to bang your mother or something equally offensive.
With all that being said, there are a couple of things that bother me about being a comment whore. Some of them are aesthetic, some are personal preferences, most are stupid. Please don't take this as my way of trying to get y'all to change the way you do things. No. This is just me railing away blindly at bloggy windmills. Let me repeat what I said earlier: THIS IS NOT A PLEA TO GET YOU TO CHANGE YOUR BLOG. It's YOUR blog...do what you want.
Pop-up comment boxes
I'm all for 'em. I like being able to reference the original post when I'm commenting because I'm stupid and my memory ain't so good. I know that some bloggy programs (like Blogger) allow you to look at a text version of the original post in the comment box, but its just not the same. Plus most of my daily blog reading is from my blogroll, so another web page opening up is just another web page for me to back out of to get back to my blog. Stupid, right? Yet here I sit typing it.
I know that some of you have had issues with spam, but I just haven't seen it on my blog all that often. I was hit one day about two months ago by the same spam 10 times over a half-hour period. It was about rubbing something on my penis to make it larger. Rubbing it alone without the stuff they were hawking usually does the trick, but who am I to argue. I guess it's an evil necessity, but I would love for these sites to figure out another way to block spam because I really hate typing wxczrtezqq if I don't have to.
Here's another one that I don't really like. I totally understand the reason for it, especially if you have some trolls you are trying to block, but it also takes away something from the spontaneity of commenting...at least it does for this comment whore. I like to post a comment then immediately go back and read it to double check on the hilarity of it. See? It's a sickness. And I wonder if someone out there (not you folks) is using the comment moderation feature to ensure that only comments that they approve of are posted on their site, even from their regular readers. There is something slightly fascist about that, so I'm against it. But don't go changin'...to try to please me. Or some other Billy Joel song.
Why can't all comment editors have all the same format options as the site's post editor box? Why do I need to learn html to put a link in a Blogger comment box? Why can't it be as easy as hitting a link button? Why am I so fucking lazy? These are all good questions.
See what I did there with these last two items? Clever, eh? But seriously, alot of these sites give registered users the option of editing their comments after they have posted them. Blogger and a few other sites don't give you this option. So, you can go back and delete it...then post what you want, but "clunky" is the word that comes to mind for that. It's just silly, and they need to fix it. Only so that I can fix a comment in which I say I want to bang your mother, when clearly it was your grandmother that I was thinking about. Clearly.
Ah, here's the one that bothers a bunch of you. I know because I've seen you mention it on your sites. Comment love, or specifically the lack thereof. You go to someone's blog, post a great comment or question and they never answer. Or worse, for some of you, they never come to your blog to return the comment love. This one doesn't bother me all that much. There are plenty of bloggers on my blogroll where I am a daily commenter who don't comment on my blog regularly or at all. Why should that bother me? I'M THE COMMENT WHORE...NOT YOU! Like I said before, I'm doing this mostly for my own entertainment anyway. On my own blog, I try to answer every single comment. That's one of the reasons I added the "recent comment" widget on my sidebar, so I don't miss anything. But that's my personal choice and certainly its not mandatory blog protocol. The only real reason I stop reading a blog is if it no longer interests me. That's it.
OK, so remember when I said I would never whore for comments on my own blog? Well, here is where I ask you what you think, and since there is no way for me to know what's in your mind without a hammer, chisel and scalpel you are going to have to leave a comment. Hah!
Mar 16, 2008
Stole this one from The Diva, who stole it from someone else and even mentioned an old post I did from back in the day. Avitable does a similar post every Sunday. She picked some difficult ones. I'm going to pick some from all over the map...easy, medium-spiced and nearly impossible.
So the rules are fairly simple
* Pick 15 of your favorite movies
* Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie (or quote them from memory because you are that bad ass)
* Post them on your blog for everyone to guess
* Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed
These are your rules:
* No Googling or using IMDB search functions (Don’t cheat!)
* Leave your answer(s) in the comments
1. "That's some bad hat, Harry." = Jaws - correctly guessed by Miss Ann Thrope.
2. "We will miss Angus tonight, we will miss his sword." = The 13th Warrior - correctly guessed by White Rabbit.
3. "Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak!" = Almost Famous - correctly guessed by Miss Ann Thrope.
4. "All women have the same color when the candle is out." (Hint: this is the English translation of the quote - Earl)= Le Pacte des Loups - no correct guesses.
5. "This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode." = Serenity - correctly guessed by Miss Ann Thrope.
6. "You're great in the locker room, pal, and your reflexes might die hard, but you're weak when you put your spikes on." = Ronin - correctly guessed by Liz.
7. "It's simple economics. Today it's oil, right? In ten or fifteen years, food. Plutonium. Maybe even sooner. Now, what do you think the people are gonna want us to do then?" = Three Days of the Condor - correctly guessed by RW.
8. "Ok, you people! Sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president." (Hint: Not a John Wayne movie ;) - Earl) = Big Trouble in Little China - correctly guessed by Jiggs.
9. "I'll find you, Leo. You leave a trail like a fucking caterpillar." = Get Shorty - correctly guessed by Artful Kisser.
10. "Sir, it's out of my hands. The gods want you to go back home and they want you to delete someone while you're there." = Grosse Pointe Blank - correctly guessed by Miss Ann Thrope.
11. "Man, you're ill. This isn't Spain, you know. This is England." = A Man For All Seasons - correctly guessed by Artful Kisser.
12. "The trained mind does not need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss." = Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins - correctly guessed by Miss Ann Thrope.
13. "Maybe we're at war with Norway?" = The Thing - correctly guessed by Miss Ann Thrope.
14. "Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours... if you can count!" = The Warriors - correctly guessed by Miss Ann Thrope.
15. "You know me. I'm the same as you. It's two in the morning and I don't know nobody." = The Sting - correctly guessed by RW.
Good luck. I'll post the answers you don't correctly guess on Friday, but it won't have to come down to that...right?
Mar 14, 2008
Mar 13, 2008
Rather than go into lengthy detail surrounding the rest of the baseball trip I spoke about a few days ago, let me just give you the highlights. Bullet-style!
- Milwaukee was more fun that we expected. Met a bartender whose brother just got a job as an intern with Miller Brewing. "And dat's a good jahb, ya know. Eh?" Sounds funnier when spoken aloud with a Wisconsin accent by a blonde chick with big cans.
- Ate at the original Morton's of Chicago while in, well, Chicago. They offered smoking and non-smoking tables (remember this was July of 2001) that were right next to each other. Not exactly sure how that worked.
- Saw two games at Wrigley, one in the famous Wrigley bleachers. Met these two off-duty cops, a father and son, who lived around the corner. The Jew saw them smoking and asked if it was OK if he joined them. They talked for a while when the father asked "So [The Jew], are you one a dem Jewish fellers?" I nearly spit out my beer at that one. When he told him that he was, the father replied "Dat's cool. We like da Jews. Der good people. Not like da spics or da blacks...good people." Once again, much funnier when spoken aloud with a Superfans accent.
- Detroit was the hell-hole that it was reputed to be. On our cab ride over to the new stadium, I asked our driver if it was an easy walk over to the old Tiger's Stadium from the new park. He told us it was, but after looking at us up and down he said "Three white boys like you shouldn't try it. Hell, I wouldn't even try it." For the last time, much funnier when spoken aloud by a tough-looking older black man.
- The train schedule got wonky on the way from Detroit to Cleveland. We actually had to stop in Toledo for 2 hours. To kill time, The Jew and I went looking for a bite to eat and found the greasiest greasy spoon Diner on the face of the Earth. It's looks, however, were deceiving. I had maybe the best breakfast of my life in that little joint. So good, that we found Bob to tell him about it and we went back for seconds. No idea what the name of the place was, but it was in the middle of the nicest post-Apocalyptic neighborhood you ever did see.
- We were done with baseball by the time we made it to Cleveland. I was also done with The Jew at this point. He got stupid drunk before the game and proceeded to annoy the fuck out of us over a woman he used to be obsessed with. After two innings I stood up, told Bob to get The Jew back to the hotel, and I headed out to a bar across the street. Bob ignored my command and followed me to the bar. Don't really know how The Jew made it back to the hotel, but he remembers something about riding in the back of a police car.
- That night, angry and horny, Bob and I tried hitting on just about every woman in the bar. And there were a lot of women in the joint. The only ones that even gave us a cursory glance were grandmothers or mutants recently released from the mental ward. Deciding that the reason behind this wasn't our sparkling personalities but rather our flabby bodies, we made a pact. Full-time diet and exercise for the rest of the Summer. And no drinking. We made it too...mostly. Almost two full months. We both broke down and got drunk on the same exact day, however. September 11th, 2001.
Mar 12, 2008
I'm getting all my news from The Sun from now on.
PS - I thought up that post title all on my own. ;)
PSS - Added a new little something over there on my sidebar. The beginnings of what will most likely be a very long list of my favorite bars, mostly in NYC. Check it out - it's right under my tattoo! - Earl
Mar 10, 2008
To summarize, I and two of my friends planned a trip to Milwaukee, Chicago, Detroit and Cleveland to see seven games in seven days at five stadiums, and we decided to travel via the rails since one of my friends was fiercely against the idea of flying. And this was pre-9/11. I guess I should give their names, huh? Since we are reveling in our anonymity, let us call my friends The Jew and Bob. The Jew because, well, he's Jewish. And Bob because I couldn't think of a funny nickname for him without slightly giving away his secret identity. He's a superhero, you know.
Here's what happened on the train ride out of NYC:
The Train Incident
This may have been the most fantastic idea ever! We started out in the afternoon from Penn Station in NYC by having a few cocktails at a TGIFs while The Jew went to get our tickets. We had a couple of sleeper car cabins for the trip to Milwaukee, and then again back to NYC from Cleveland. The rest of the train rides were fairly short going from Milwaukee to Chicago to Detroit to Cleveland. If you have never travelled via sleeper car I think you need to do so right away. It's definitely the way to go!
Our "rooms" were right across the way from each other. Bob and I took one and The Jew took the other. Didn't really matter because we weren't planning on sleeping that much. Our car was right behind the Dining Car where we had steak dinners in the evening and a decent breakfast in the morning. White linen tables, little lamps, gracious servers...just like you see in old movies.
Beyond the Dining Car was the Bar Car...our favorite car. I don't know how long they served through the night, but I think it's safe to say that we closed the joint. The Bar Car also had a smoker's lounge...which is important to the rest of the story. The Jew had decided to take up smoking again, but just for this trip. And he did. He was also able to quit again after the week was through. Don't know many folks who could do that, but he's a freak of nature. In more ways than one.
Life in the Sleeper Car was a bit different for us than the rest of the folks travelling that trip. They all had their doors closed and the shades on their windows drawn. We had our doors open, music playing and liquor flowing. I brought a bottle of Jose Cuervo Reserva de la Familia tequila with me, and we finished off most of that bad boy off on the way to Milwaukee. That and the many, many beers we kept getting from the Bar Car. We were the hit of the trip! Only 2 or 3 complaints from the rest of the passengers...not bad. Actually I was hoping that more of them would be partying, but alas no. A couple of the porters working on the train hung out with us for a while, but I'm not really sure they were supposed to be doing that. Sneaked (snuck?) a few beers here and there with us, and I don't think anyone got hurt.
The Jew, however, made a friend in the smoker's lounge. She was an attractive, young black woman who was heading back home to Detroit after visiting some family in NYC. I hope I don't come across as racist here (and really, how could I in a story where one of the characters is called "The Jew"?), but her name may have been something like Shaquila or Shanaynay. I'm not making that up! She was a lot of fun. Wound up hanging out with us back at our cabins for a good part of the trip because we had some extra room, some extra booze and we were being extra friendly.
Through a drunken haze, I notice the top of a tattoo on her hip right above her jeans. I asked about it because I dig tattoos. I expect her to tell me what it was, and maybe pull down her jeans a little. Not Shaquila. She squeals with excitement and says "Oooo, you wanna see it?" At which point she unzips her jeans and drops them to the floor. She's now in front of me in the tiniest g-string I have ever seen in my life. She moves in close to give me a good look, then she turns around to show me another tattoo on her ass cheek. Did I mention the tiny g-string?
I look over and see that Bob is staring with his mouth open and the Jew is absolutely cracking up. I decide to ask "So Shaquila...what is it that you do for work in Detroit?". She replies "Oh, didn't The Jew tell you? I'm an exotic dancer." Aha...it all makes sense now. The Jew knew she was a stripper from the get-go, but decided to leave that salient detail back in the smoking lounge so he could have a bit of fun with us.
The rest of the trip was spent getting even more drunk with our new stripper friend. She liked the vodka...a lot. There was dancing, smoking, tequila shots...maybe even a free lap dance or two. I don't remember the exact details surrounding bed-time, but Bob and I retired to our cabin and somehow figured out the complexities of the sleeper car bunk-bed system. It wasn't easy.
The Jew, being the gentleman that he is, offered his extra bunk to Shaquila. We still had 6 hours or so before we reached Detroit and she had only a coach ticket so she jumped at the chance. Jumped right out of her clothing, as The Jew told us the next morning. He had no intention of bedding the young lady, he honestly was just being nice. But she offered to keep him company in his bunk nonetheless. He politely said "No thanks", or at least that's what he told us he said. Who knows what happened in that sleeper car cabin on that warm July night in 2001.
He did tell us a few things that may or may not have happened. Once he sobered up, he realized that there was a naked, very young stripper in his cabin and it freaked him out. He spent half the night huddled on his bunk, clutching all his earthly belongings. Well, at least the ones he brought with him on that trip. He kept his hands on his wallet the whole night. He was also horrified when she jumped down from the top bunk, fully nude, and had a pee right there in front of him on the toilet/sink combo thingie. Did I mention that he's a bit of a germaphobe? He finally drifted off to sleep at one point, only to be awakened by her trying to unzip his pants so she could give him a "thank you" BJ. Once again, he said he politely declined. He said.
He woke us up after she departed from the train in Detroit to tell us how the rest of the evening went. Also, it was time for breakfast. She left us her name and number and the strip club she was working at in Detroit, but she told us to be sure to call her first if we were going to go there on the Detroit portion of our trip. Not a lot of "white boys" went to her place, and if she knew we were coming she could have the bouncers look out for us.
We didn't go.
But a part of me wishes that we did. Just for the stories we could tell. That was the first day of our trip and we hadn't even seen any of the cities we were visiting or watched an inning of baseball. But what a way to start the trip off with class, eh?
Still working on that vacation trip post I talked about last week, but it's turning into a novel. Gotta make some cuts. Soon. I promise.
Mar 6, 2008
So last night I watched a documentary BBC series called "In Search of the Trojan War" for no real reason other than it was available to watch instantly on NetFlix and because I am fascinated by Homer. Doh!
Today, the top news story on AOL news was the following:
By NICHOLAS PAPHITIS,
The discovery could fuel debate on a major prehistoric puzzle - where the homeland of Homer's legendary hero Odysseus was located.
"This is a very important find for the area, because until now we had next to no evidence on Mycenaean presence on Lefkada," excavator Maria Stavropoulou-Gatsi told The Associated Press.
Stavropoulou-Gatsi said the tomb was unearthed about a month ago by a bulldozer, during road construction work.
"Unfortunately, the driver caused significant damage," she said.
She said the tomb contained several human skeletons, as well as smashed pottery, two seal stones, beads made of semiprecious stones, copper implements and clay loom weights. It appeared to have been plundered during antiquity.
With a nine-foot diameter, the tomb is very small compared to others, such as the Tomb of Atreus in Mycenae, which was more than 46 feet across and built of stones weighing up to 120 tons.
But it could revive scholarly debate on the location of Odysseus' Ithaca mentioned in Homer's poems - which are believed to be loosely based on Mycenaean-era events. While the nearby island of Ithaki is generally identified as the hero's kingdom, other theories have proposed Lefkada or neighboring Kefallonia.
Stavropoulou-Gatsi said the discovery might cause excitement on Lefkada but it was too soon for any speculation on Odysseus.
"I think it is much too early to engage in such discussion. The location of Homer's Ithaca is a very complex issue," she said.
It's getting weird up in here - Earl
I've been reading a lot more blogs lately, so I've been gradually adding them over there on the left under "BUG-EYED NEW LINKS". I think its about time I merged the two lists together, as the second list is now longer than the first list. That's only if I can find an easy way to do it (any suggestions?). I'm gonna do some cleanup on them as well, maybe list them alphabetically1,2 or something. Who knows?
A lot of the new links came from my blog love post in which I asked y'all to suggest, um, new links. So feel free to keep the suggestions coming. I'd rather be blogging than sleeping anyway.
1 - So no complaining (Slyde) when your link moves from the top of the list to somewhere else.
2 - Hey, I learned how to use superscript in html! Well, it was big news to me. Pfft!
Dead Sexy Update - Well, that was both a pain and, frankly, easier than I thought it could be. Leave me alone...I'm complicated.
Mar 5, 2008
Thanks for all the swell comments on yesterday's post. Honestly, when I write something that long and boring I expect that no one will read it. Or they will at least do what I do when I encounter one of your long posts. Pretend to read it...find one statement to make fun of...post a highly sarcastic comment in hopes you won't notice. ;)
I'm in the middle of writing about the best "activity" vacation I was ever a part of. I define "activity" vacations as those that include a pre-planned abundance of things to do along with getting stupid drunk at the same time. These are different from my normal vacations where I do nothing much at all, except get stupid drunk. It should be posted sometime tomorrow.
For now, I will leave you with a little Slyde anecdote that he and I were discussing earlier today. He recently posted on his site about wanting to jump my bones. There was something else involved there, but that was basically the gist of the post. He's always wanted me in an uncomfortable way. Want proof?
About ten years ago I was waiting for him to come pick me up at my apartment one Saturday. We were heading out to a comic-book convention or something equally geeky, and I, of course, woke up late with a bad hangover from the previous evening's debauchery. I unlocked the front door so he could let himself in and I went to the bathroom for a shower. Right before I jumped in, I decided to lock the bathroom door. You know...just in case.
After my shower, I headed out into the living area and there he is. On my couch watching TV just like I knew he would be. He then asked me "Why do you lock the bathroom door when you take a shower when you live alone?"
I could only answer this with another question: "Why do you know that my bathroom door was locked?"
10+ years later and he still doesn't have a decent answer for me to that one.
PS - I picked a pic of the shower scene from Psycho because all the pictures that came up when I googled "gay shower" were even scarier. Wow.
Mar 4, 2008
Have a few things on my mind today, and they all involve blogging, my blog (in particular) and/or the wonder of the Internets. I've also got some questions for you, oh my readers and only friends, so be prepared to gimme some of that feedback lovin'. Here goes:
I think the original idea behind making this blog anonymous was the opportunity to discuss just about anything. Believe it or not, there are still some things I have not brought up yet and maybe I never will. I know that Slyde has mentioned that he occasionally wishes that he had kept his blog anonymous, especially when I remind him about funny and embarrassing exploits of our foolish youth. But he can also freely post photos and stories about his family, so I guess its a trade-off.
Questions: So I think I wanna know if the "grass is always greener" on the other side of the poopie fence. If you are anonymously posting, do you ever wish to shout out your name to the rest of the blog nation? And if you are not posting anonymously, how often do you wish that you were?
Someone commented about the abundance of profanity on my posts just the other day. It was just an off-hand comment, they really weren't complaining or asking me to change my style. It was just a comment. But it got me to thinking. I guess that (going back to my first topic) having an anonymous blog allows me to just be myself without any form of self-censoring. That being said, I'm not nearly this profane in real life.
I believe that, like many people, I have two fairly distinct personality types in real life. Lets call them "The Winner" and "The Loser", although I would like to stress that there is no real winning or losing going on here. I'm just as comfortable with being The Loser, if not more so, than when I am The Winner. <Insert snide comment from Slyde here>
The Winner is great in business meetings and for first impressions. He is smart (kinda) and well-read. He can talk with surprising knowledge on a wide variety of subjects...to the extant that some find him snobbish. He likes to go out for expensive dinners and spend weekends at luxury hotels. He enjoys not only the act of going out for a few cocktails with friends, but he can talk for hours on end about the complex flavors of the expensive beers/tequila/whiskey that he is drinking. And he doesn't curse. Much.
The Loser is a bit more of a regular guy. Although he still maintains his witty intelligence (c'mon!), he feels most at home watching a baseball game at a dive bar with a bunch of guys who probably would have made fun of him in High School. He likes to eat fast food and spend weekends on the couch with his hand down his pants while he watches Big Trouble in Little China for the 200th time. He likes to drink to get drunk, at times. Pabst Blue Ribbon, Miller High Life and Budweiser are about as snooty a cocktail as he will ever order. Maybe a shot of Jack Daniels. And you had better believe he curses. A whole fucking lot!
I enjoy both personalities. I really do. My true self, of course, lies somewhere between the two, and wouldn't that be a yummy sandwich, eh? My best friends and my loved ones can easily detect when I slip into one or the other, but most of the time its an amalgam of both.
Questions: How much profanity to each of you use in your every day life? Do you tend to be more or less profane in your blog life than your real life, or is it the other way around? Do you think I, on occasion, am too profane? Be honest.
I think not. This past weekend, Gia and her mother were watching a documentary called Grey Gardens. It's about Jackie Bouvier/Kennedy/Onassis' aunt and her first cousin and the strange existence they lived out in their formerly wonderful Hamptons Estate on the East End of Long Island. I remembered that one of my college friends was related to the Bouviers, somehow. I hadn't spoken to him in 5 or 6 years, but I was pretty sure that his mother's maiden name was Bouvier.
So I started doing some simple Google searches about Jackie O's family to see if I could find a family tree or something with her in it. Striking out on that, I started searching for stuff on my buddy and his father. Didn't find anything about the Bouviers, but I found some cool stuff about what had been going on in their lives. My friend had become President of his father's company after his Dad stepped down a while back, and he was on the Board of Directors of a number of other companies. The Internet is really an amazing thing. He was doing really well for himself, and I made a mental note to shoot him an email when I got the chance. I told Gia all about him and his family, and some stupid college stuff that we all did together. I really should stay in closer touch with my old friends, but I think we all know how difficult that is sometimes. Especially when we don't live near each other.
The very next morning I jumped on the computer to check my email, and what did I find? A "touching base" email from my above mentioned friend. My friend who I haven't been in contact with for 5 or 6 years! And he sent me the email the day before...the SAME DAY I WAS THINKING ABOUT HIM!!! C'mon...that's just plain weird. He was going through some old emails, and he found my email address that was given to him a couple of years ago by another college friend. So he thought he would just drop me a note. I remain startled, however, at the timing of it all. His mother, by the way, was a cousin of some sorts of Jackie O's. Nothing wrong with my memory.
This stuff happens to me all the time. If I told this story to another one of my friends, a friend who I shared an office with for a few years, he would only yawn. Me bringing something up and then it happening occurred so often that he came to accept it as an everyday event. I could call him right now and tell him this story and his only reply would be "Of course he wrote you on the same day." But this doesn't just happen, or does it?
Questions: Does this kinda thing ever happen to any of you? Do you get freaked out about it? Would you like to know the future? Ask The Great Earl.
Mar 3, 2008
An Open Letter to Our Pets
(To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height for your animals)
Dear Cats and Dogs,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
- They live here. You don't.
- If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture)
- I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
- To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak very clearly.
- Eat less.
- Don't ask for money all the time.
- Are easier to train.
- Normally come when called.
- Never ask to drive the car.
- Don't hang out with drug-using friends.
- Don't smoke or drink.
- Don't have to buy the latest fashions.
- Don't want to wear your clothes.
- Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college. And finally...
- If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.