Mar 20, 2008

On Comments

I'm a comment whore.

There, I admitted it.

Not in the way that you might think. I'm not whoring for comments on my blog. I think it's nice and all, and I'm always pleasantly surprised at the number of people reading this drivel. No, I'm more of a comment whore when it comes to other people's blogs. In fact, I don't even think I would have this blog if I didn't enjoy commenting on all of your posts, but then I would be the crazy guy who nobody really knows but shows up all the time with a sarcastic comment.

See, commenting for me is a way for me to release all of my sarcastic fervor onto the world without getting punched in the face every day. And in the comment box, I can let the world know that I was only being sarcastic by ending my comment with a simple smiley face. ;) See how he winks at you? That means that its okay when I say that I wanted to bang your mother or something equally offensive.

With all that being said, there are a couple of things that bother me about being a comment whore. Some of them are aesthetic, some are personal preferences, most are stupid. Please don't take this as my way of trying to get y'all to change the way you do things. No. This is just me railing away blindly at bloggy windmills. Let me repeat what I said earlier: THIS IS NOT A PLEA TO GET YOU TO CHANGE YOUR BLOG. It's YOUR blog...do what you want.

Pop-up comment boxes
I'm all for 'em. I like being able to reference the original post when I'm commenting because I'm stupid and my memory ain't so good. I know that some bloggy programs (like Blogger) allow you to look at a text version of the original post in the comment box, but its just not the same. Plus most of my daily blog reading is from my blogroll, so another web page opening up is just another web page for me to back out of to get back to my blog. Stupid, right? Yet here I sit typing it.

Word Verification
I know that some of you have had issues with spam, but I just haven't seen it on my blog all that often. I was hit one day about two months ago by the same spam 10 times over a half-hour period. It was about rubbing something on my penis to make it larger. Rubbing it alone without the stuff they were hawking usually does the trick, but who am I to argue. I guess it's an evil necessity, but I would love for these sites to figure out another way to block spam because I really hate typing wxczrtezqq if I don't have to.

Comment Moderation
Here's another one that I don't really like. I totally understand the reason for it, especially if you have some trolls you are trying to block, but it also takes away something from the spontaneity of commenting...at least it does for this comment whore. I like to post a comment then immediately go back and read it to double check on the hilarity of it. See? It's a sickness. And I wonder if someone out there (not you folks) is using the comment moderation feature to ensure that only comments that they approve of are posted on their site, even from their regular readers. There is something slightly fascist about that, so I'm against it. But don't go changin'...to try to please me. Or some other Billy Joel song.

Comment Editor
Why can't all comment editors have all the same format options as the site's post editor box? Why do I need to learn html to put a link in a Blogger comment box? Why can't it be as easy as hitting a link button? Why am I so fucking lazy? These are all good questions.

Editing Comments
See what I did there with these last two items? Clever, eh? But seriously, alot of these sites give registered users the option of editing their comments after they have posted them. Blogger and a few other sites don't give you this option. So, you can go back and delete it...then post what you want, but "clunky" is the word that comes to mind for that. It's just silly, and they need to fix it. Only so that I can fix a comment in which I say I want to bang your mother, when clearly it was your grandmother that I was thinking about. Clearly.

Comment Love
Ah, here's the one that bothers a bunch of you. I know because I've seen you mention it on your sites. Comment love, or specifically the lack thereof. You go to someone's blog, post a great comment or question and they never answer. Or worse, for some of you, they never come to your blog to return the comment love. This one doesn't bother me all that much. There are plenty of bloggers on my blogroll where I am a daily commenter who don't comment on my blog regularly or at all. Why should that bother me? I'M THE COMMENT WHORE...NOT YOU! Like I said before, I'm doing this mostly for my own entertainment anyway. On my own blog, I try to answer every single comment. That's one of the reasons I added the "recent comment" widget on my sidebar, so I don't miss anything. But that's my personal choice and certainly its not mandatory blog protocol. The only real reason I stop reading a blog is if it no longer interests me. That's it.

OK, so remember when I said I would never whore for comments on my own blog? Well, here is where I ask you what you think, and since there is no way for me to know what's in your mind without a hammer, chisel and scalpel you are going to have to leave a comment. Hah!

34 comments:

Slyde said...

Well, for what its worth, the only commentting issue i have had is when people would use the link on my blog to email me, to say that they like the blog but will never comment because they didnt want to register on my forums...

i just dont get that at all. Whats the issue? Do you think im going to sell your email address to a marketing company?

Anyway, i have dealt with it for now by switching to Haloscan, which is good and all, but i honestly thought my old forums were much slicker.

and HELL YES to the word verification thingy! You guys have got to stop that shit! i hate it!

i am the diva said...

Ahhh yes, the blog comment whore.

i find the comment moderation most annoying, because i share your disease... i want to see instantly how hilarious i am. Should we start a support group?

But to be fair, the very few places i've come across comment moderation are usually people who live the alternative lifestyle, and i can understand that the internet is full of dumbass fuckoffs who just wanna cause shit. Hell, look at any of the comments on any video on Youtube.

however, i love the comments. love 'em, so i suppose i'm constantly looking for the comment love. i just want to be loved.

and for the record, i always enjoy your sarcastic smiley faced comments. carry on good sir.

Paige Stanton said...

I am in love with your sarcastic smiley faces. I believe we are on the same wave length, and it may be beginning to be more than just a coincidence... (rememeber the love between Morgan and Garcia on Criminal Minds, that's where it all started I think...)

I was just thinking about comments, and why I'm not getting any! What is up with the blogosphere lately?

I'm with you, when I leave a comment I come back alter to see if the author replied to my comment, I HATE comment moderation and I HATE word verification, I deleted all that crap from my site. I hope your visits to my site are easy and you don't leave frustrated.

Last time we were thinking the same thing was the annonymous blog posting topic...

Hm...

Paige Stanton said...

Love that little cartoon btw. I might steal it.

B.E. Earl said...

Slyde - I disliked your forums too. Sorry!

Diva - Did you say I was diseased? ;)

Paige - So my brainwave modulation monitor is working all the way up in the Great White North? Eccckkkssseellllannnnnttttt!!!!! ;)

Oh, and steal away with the cartoon. That's how I got it.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Comment whoring is taking up 95% of my day. Regular whoring takes up the other 5%.

B.E. Earl said...

G-Boobs - Get your priorities straight, woman! ;)

ajooja said...

I agree with you on all of those.

I hate comment editing the most. I make mistakes with almost every comment I make, yet I'm a stickler for typos. Weird.

Miss Ann Thrope said...

Comments...I've written whole posts about this.

I prefer a pop up comment box. I don't want to have to open the comments page separately so I remember wtf you said.

I don't mind wwl0pCx120999999 as long as I can read it. BUT the second time I type it wrong, I just give up.

I dislike comment moderation immensely. Considering I don't allow comments without membership, that's a stupid thing to say. BUT I don't delete comments ever. I hate that people do that.

I want to physically hurt people who do the Comment De-lurking Day bullshit. What? Am I supposed to write Stephen King to tell him I read his latest book? I think not. If I'm not commenting it's because A. I'm lazy. B. You're boring. C. I'm lazy. I am horrible about commenting. Horrible. I call it Ninja Stealth Blogging. I was here but you didn't see me coming.

I am also wholly unimpressed by people who blog NOTHING but get 9000000 comments. I admit to occasionally conducting social experiments. I once go something like 79 comments on a one sentence post about nothing. That cracks me up. But there are people who would shrivel up and die if they don't get a comment or even anything less than 30. Sad little people who need validation.

I love posts wherein I am asked a question. My opinion counts for everything! Just ask about 12 or 15 bloggers who hate me. I've often thought I should ask a question with every post but I can't think things up all on my own sometimes.

I think that being the kind of comment whore that you are grows old and eventually you comment on one or two blogs a day...especially as your list of blogs you like grows. I used to comment on everything. Not so much lately.

As to the comment editor, I am in total agreement. Blogger annoys me because sometimes I want to embed a smiley but it won't let me so I am left with <:- o~~ or some shit that nobody will understand.

Comment luv is just weird as far as I'm concerned. I've never click over for someone else's post.

I am most put out that not every platform has a tick box for sending me comment replies. Especially blogger which only shows me that box AFTER I've commented so I have to go back and explain why I am commenting again (as I will here) just so I can get subsequent comments emailed to me.

Ok, if I think of anything else, I'll come back to write a new book in your comments. Speaking of...I love long winded commenters. Oh and! I dislike people who are all, "STICK TO THE FUCKING TOPIC OR I WILL DELETE YOUUUUUU!"

Pah. Sometimes I want to say something completely inappropriate to the subject at hand. I hate being told how to comment. So I don't.

Miss Ann Thrope said...

ping.

Miss Ann Thrope said...

PS: you have sucessfully used up my entire comment allotment for today.

Slyde said...

holy crap, miss ann thrope!

that comment should be your next blog entry! :)

B.E. Earl said...

ajooja - I'm a freak for typos also, even though I have my share.

Miss Ann - I'm sorry...did you say something? ;)

Slyde - I think its out of her system.

B.E. Earl said...

Miss Ann - The one thing you and I disagree on is the comment check box for emailing replies. I don't like that option because I often forget to un-check it on the sites that automatically check it...like yours.

If I want to see replies to my comment I usually just head back there in a day or so, otherwise I didn't care enough to do it. Simple choice.

Besides that, we were spot on. :)

Miss Ann Thrope said...

sorry. i don't mean to be annoying. it just sorta happens. i would forget what post i commented on.

ps: lower case is easier when the laptop is far away and typing w/one fingers is the only way i can reach the keyboard.

my arm hurts,

B.E. Earl said...

Miss Ann - Not annoyed, not at all. :)

Miss Ann Thrope said...

It would annoy me. Not having one annoys me so having one that was checked by default would annoy me because I am an instant gratification slut. I want everything the way I want it.

I'm very open minded.

white rabbit said...

I like getting and receiving comments too - let's admit it, blogging is basically attention seeking. I know some people say they blog for themselves - hmmmm - why not kep a diary in that case?

As regards moderation, I'm basically against it. Let people say what they like. I've only ever deleted one comment and that was irritation at a particularly annoying troll rather than any point of principle. I then worked out that what trolls basically want is attention - even more than the rest of us do ;)- and deleting is a form of attention and they get off on it. Ignore them and they look pretty stupid quickly enough! I doubt if there are hard and fast rules as there will always be borderline cases but tentatively, I would probably delete (a) defamatory stuff - we have some pretty fierce defamation laws here and I really don't need the grief (b) gross personal abuse (c) gross - as opposed to routine -obscenity (d) racist stuff.

Moderation does distort debate. There is a journalist over here called Melanie Phillips - known with good reason as 'Mad Mel' who has a high profile blog linked to a magazine called the 'Spectator'. Her blog is basically a barrage of spittle flecked right of sensible bile (I look at it occasionally as unintended comedy) and it has comments but the comments are so blatantly censored - sorry moderated - so that the drooling sycophants are waved through and anything disobliging - even when moderately expressed - is at high risk of not quite making it through 'moderation'.

Ah well...

white rabbit said...

ps couldn't resist pinching the hard word to Mr & Mrs Jones ;)

B.E. Earl said...

Miss Ann - Instant gratification slut...aren't we all. :)

White Rabbit - Good points on moderation. And no worries about pinching the jpg. How do you think I got it? ;)

lotus07 said...

I got your comment buddy right here in the kisser....bang, pow....to the moon!!!

B.E. Earl said...

One of these days, Lotus,one of these days...

Avitable said...

Commenting on other people's blogs and then having interesting content yourself is the best way to increase your readership. I get annoyed with the captchas and moderation, too, and I'm less likely to comment in those situations.

I'm a fan of the "subscribe to comments" feature, but mainly because I make the effort to reply to every comment that I receive, so I like to know if my comments on other blogs also get replies. Since I use Gmail for my account, all emails for one post get put in one thread which makes it manageable even for popular posts. Since I read around 200-300 blogs a day and comment on a percentage of them, it's impossible for me to keep checking back with them to see if they've replied.

B.E. Earl said...

Avi - Wow! 200-300 a day! I find it hard to read 20-30 a day. That's impressive. And you never need to worry about having interesting content. The Avitable Dance alone makes it worthwhile to visit you every now and again. ;)

Tequila Mockingbird said...

dude. i swear i would be here more, but with working, heavy drinking, my whores, playing with legos, masterbating, learning how to cook, smoking weed (it really does make me lethargic), and all of my other shenaniganz, i dont have as much time as id like to come visit blogs and answer comments. i'll try harder, just for you SnuggleCock!

B.E. Earl said...

Tequila - Thanks beeyatch! But I wasn't pleading for comments, I was merely admitting my own whorish,er,ness. I'll try to stop by your joint more often too. By the way, SnuggleCock was the name of my pet pot-bellied pig. Or it would have been if I wasn't hungry for bacon that day. ;)

elizabeth said...

Um. 26 comments. I'm sooo jealous.

Before that, I was going to say that you have some very good points there. Specially the last one. I hear ya. Loud and clear.

Happy Easter.

B.E. Earl said...

Liz - yeah, but like 9-10 of them were my comments, so they don't count.

Kat said...

whore

B.E. Earl said...

Ass whore to you!!!

Artful Kisser said...

All very good points upon which I completely agree. Not mentioning any names here, but there are a couple of blogs I read just for the posts and avoid the comments mainly cos it's just a big mutual hand-job-a-thon. All that comment splooge just makes me feel dirty.

B.E. Earl said...

Artful Kisser - Comment splooge! That's awesome. I know what you mean.

livesbythewoods said...

I moderate. Not having any other fucker being more amusing than me.

Bwa ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa.

Plus my family read the blog and I am not risking being outed by a naughty clan member.

B.E. Earl said...

lives by - Ah...that makes sense, and you are right. No one is more amusing than you, ;)