Holmes

I've recently become semi-obsessed with Sherlock Holmes once again. I say "once again" because there was a time when I would read the complete run of Holmes stories from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle every few years. I was generally into contemporary authors when I was growing up. But we had a bound copy of the 4 novels and 50+ short stories that were written by him about Holmes, and a full set of bound Charles Dickens novels as well. And when I had nothing else to read, I would turn to these to re-read. Over and over again. The Holmes stuff never took that long, so I read those probably a dozen times or so.

But it's honestly been about two decades since I've read them. A lot of that has to do with me reading much, much less than I did when I was a teen or in my early twenties. That's kinda sad. Non-stop availability of just about anything I want to see streaming-wise has also been a big problem.

But problem solved! Well, at least in the Sherlock Holmes situation.

I watched the first season, ahem...series, of the BBC Sherlock production a year or so ago, and I loved it. Starring the immensely talented and oh-so-British-named Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, it's an extremely watchable contemporary update of the Sherlock Holmes stories. But I forgot about it until about a week ago. So I jumped into Series 2...and then watched all 6 episodes over again. Just because I could. I highly recommend this series.

Then I went and found Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows someplace, and I watched that too. And, since it had been awhile since I had seen its' predecessor, Sherlock Holmes, I watched that too. These are the Guy Ritchie films starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law. Much, much different than the BBC series, but a lot of fun with Sherlock portrayed as more of an action hero.

And I didn't stop there. I had been hearing some good words about the American TV adaptation, Elementary. Mostly from this guy. Another contemporary update, this one stars Jonny Lee Miller as a former Scotland Yard consultant living and recovering from addiction in Brooklyn. Oh, and they made Watson an American. And female. Portrayed by the always wonderful Lucy Liu. Sure...why not.

So last night I gave it a try. And after one episode, I'm probably hooked again. Except I haven't been able to find anyplace that streams the earlier episodes from this first Season. Our cable company has the last 5 aired episodes (some re-runs) On Demand, but that's it. So that sucks. I thought it was going to be on Hulu Plus, but it's not. Durn.

I am NOT going to be happy if I cannot satisfy my Sherlock fix with Elementary. I may have to go back to, gasp, reading!

Any other Sherlock adaptations out there I should be watching? Zero Effect, starring Bill Pullman and Ben Stiller was loosely based on Sherlock, but it was a lot of fun. So I'm up for anything. Hit me.

Earl's Favorite Film Scenes: Vol. XI

I haven't done one of these in well over a year. How is that possible?

Anyway, I was thinking about Moonstruck the other day. Gia and I consider it a classic. Just so funny with such great performances. We disagree about Olympia Dukakis. I think she was fantastic, while Gia didn't really buy her as the matriarch of the family. But we do agree that she is in many of the great scenes from the film. Mostly filmed in the household kitchen.

So, naturally, I picked a clip from the film that doesn't feature her. See? I'm whimsical that way.

The bakery scene/introduction to Nic Cage's character has become one of my favorite scenes of all-time. I remember not being able to stand Cage in this film when I first saw it. But he grew on me, like a cancerous mole. And this scene, in particular, is one that lets him fly his freak flag in a glorious way.

Enjoy!

Bring me the big knife!

Unchained

Took in an early Saturday film this past weekend. Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained. I loved it, just as I have loved every QT film so far. Yeah, even Death Proof. Imagine, if you will, a revenge flick even more violent and more bloody than Inglourious Basterds. That's what this film was. I only had one small issue with the film.

And it's not the issue that many of you might assume. The big controversy that has arisen from the release of this film has been the subject matter and the language used by the characters. I can understand the controversy, to a point. A not-so-serious film about slavery and racism and all that goes with it is difficult to pull off. I happen to think that he did it, and I came at the movie from a place where I understood that it was all in the name of entertainment. But the plain and simple fact is that others will NOT be able to watch the movie from that angle. Because there is no way that they can find themselves willing to trivialize subjects like slavery or racism. By the way, I don't believe QT trivialized those subjects with this film. It was very, very clear who the good guys were and who the bad guys were. And, spoiler alert, the bad guys get theirs. And no decent person is going to be anything but exhilarated that they did.

Even though I don't believe he trivialized anything, I can still see how some people might not see it that way. And that's fine. QT films aren't for everyone. He is a bold, in-your-face filmmaker who makes no apologies for his films or the language that he chooses to use. If I were African-American, I might be offended by this film. I might not be offended. Difficult for ME to know. Just as Inglourious Basterds may have been difficult for WWII veterans or Jews. Maybe if it was a revenge flick about something oppresive from my background as an Irish-American. Like the Catholic Church. I kid....kinda.

Anyway, that's a long way to go to say that the film isn't without its' controversies. And it's certainly not for everyone. But I enjoyed it. Mostly. As with all QT ensemble pieces, he got some extraordinary work out of his supporting players. I even hesitate to call Christoph Waltz or Leonardo DiCaprio or Samuel L. Jackson supporting players in this film. Each one of them absolutely dominated the screen every time they appeared. Which kind of dulled the shine on the real star of the film, Jamie Foxx as Django himself. I think he did a yeoman's job, and he seems like a class act. But he often seemed like the straight man playing opposite the either wildly comedic or charismatic supporting team. He just didn't dominate the film in the way that, say, Uma Thurman did in Kill Bill. And that was my only real problem with the film. But it was fairly minor.

I'd say if you enjoy QT's films, then go check it out. If he or the subject matter of this particular film aren't your preferred brand of tequila...then skip it.

PS - Happy New Year, bitches!

The Greatest

Once I wanted to be the greatest

No wind or waterfall could stall me

And then came the rush of the flood

The stars at night turned deep to dust

 - Cat Power

That quote has nothing to do with this post. I just dig the song and the artist, so there ya go. Nope, I'm talking the greatest movie of all-time! Sorry, let me repeat....THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL-TIME!!! And genuflect when you read that if you will, dear readers. No, I'm not talking about Roadhouse, although it is a perfect film (except or Patrick Swayze's silly dancing martial arts kicks). I'm talking about the new king on Sight and Sound's annual survey of critics, academics and distributors. And for the first time in 50 years, it isn't Citizen Kane.

1. Vertigo (1958, Alfred Hitchcock) - I'm a fan of Hitchcock. Not a die-hard fan, but I generally enjoy his films. Mostly because I generally enjoy suspense, and Hitchcock loved him some suspense. It might not be my favorite Hitchcock film, that's probably North by Northwest, Rear Window or Dial M for Murder, but Vertigo is a fantastic film. Certainly deserving of the top spot on many critic's lists.
2. Citizen Kane (1941, Orson Welles) - Or Second-Citizen Kane, amirite? Feh. So I remember the first time I saw this film. It was in a High School film class in 10th grade. After the credits rolled, our teacher jokingly asked the class what Rosebud was. I wasn't quick to answer simpleton questions, so I looked around the class and saw 25 or so completely blank faces. The teacher started to look worried, so he asked again. Finally, I raised my hand and answered the question. At which point he started to freak out that so many kids couldn't answer the most obvious question about something that they had seen 5 minutes previously. I hate people.
3. Tokyo Story (1953, Ozu Yasujiro) - I love foreign films. Even more specifically, I love Japanese cinema. But I have to admit that this film never came close to making it onto my radar. Probably because my Japanese cinema phase came in my early 20's, and I wasn't really into dramas about family and loss back then. I'm still not really into those kind of films, so it may be a while before I check this one out.
4. La Règle du jeu (1939, Jean Renoir) - I've seen several Renoir films, and I honestly couldn't tell you if this was one of them. I just wasn't into French cinema from that period. I dig the current Horror flicks coming out of France, but that's because I'm a child. So there.
5. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927, F.W. Murnau) - Going back to me being a child, how does one select a Murnau flick and it isn't Nosferatu? I'm beginning to think this list sucks balls.
6. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968, Stanley Kubrick) - OK, I get it. I understand why so many people would pick this film over so many other masterpieces that Kubrick produced. It was ground-breaking and it actually still holds up pretty well as a science-fiction piece. And of all of his films, it probably is his greatest technical achievement. But is it as good as Dr. Strangelove or A Clockwork Orange? I dunno about that.
7. The Searchers (1956, John Ford) - Here is one that would probably be a bit higher on my personal list, but I ain't complaining. John Ford's greatest film and John Wayne's greatest performance. How could you go wrong with that? Maybe I'm just a silly fan of Westerns and John Ford, but for me it doesn't get any better than this.
8. Man with a Movie Camera (1929, Dziga Vertov) - Honestly, I've never heard of this film before. Never. Ever. I have absolutely nothing to say about it. Moving on.
9. The Passion of Joan of Arc (1927, Carl Dreyer) - What's with all of these films from the 1920's? I call bullshit. I'm sorry. Sure, I'd love to see me some baseball from the 1920's, but cinema? Not my bag, man. Not my bag at all.
10. 8 1/2 (1963, Federico Fellini) - Here's a little Verdant Dude trivia for ya. For the longest time, probably until 1 minute ago, I thought the dude's first name was Fredirico. Ahem. So yeah, this was a good one. I think I've realized the greatness of just about every Fellini film I've ever seen. Satryicon freaked me out a little, but then again I think it was supposed to do just that. So I get why it's on this list. It just wouldn't be on MY list.

So there you have it. 10 films, of which I've seen 5. Maybe 6. I'm just not sure about that Renoir flick. And here's the thing. I don't really want to see any of the films I haven't seen yet. I think this list is way too snooty by wide mile. In the wake of the release of this new list, a bunch of elite filmmakers were also asked to submit their Top 10. Directors like Woody Allen and Martin Scorcese and Francis Ford Coppola. You can see all those lists here. And many of them are as snooty as the list above. Not all, but many.

My two favorite lists in that article? South Korean director Boon Joon-Ho and Quentin Tarantino.  Their lists, while they wouldn't match mine, are at least reflective of my tastes. Sean Durkin, Edgar Wright and David O. Russell have some fun lists as well. I was going to say Michael Mann too, but he picked Avatar and that calls for immediate ridicule. Great achievement? Sure. Great film? I don't think so.

Personal De Niro

I was watching one of my personal favorite Robert De Niro films recently, and I was thinking about how he hasn't made a quintessential Robert De Niro film in a really long movie. A film that is highly entertaining featuring Robert De Niro dominating the screen in just about every scene. Seems as if he has been mailing it in for well over a decade now. That's a shame, because he still shows flashes of brilliance every once in a while, but nothing that can sustain an entire film.

So I started thinking about my favorite De Niro films. Not films that he was in, necessarily. I love The Godfather: Part II, and De Niro is awesome in it. But it's not a De Niro film, if you know what I mean. Same with a film like The Untouchables. He was great as Capone and the film was a ton of fun, but it's not a De Niro film.

So here, without further ado, are my personal favorite Top 5 De Niro films in chronological order:

1. Raging Bull (1980)
2. Midnight Run (1988)
3. Goodfellas (1990)
4. Mad Dog and Glory (1993)
5. Ronin (1998)

I know, I know.  Lots of controversial choices there. No Taxi Driver or The Deer Hunter or The King of Comedy or Cape Fear or The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Sacrilege, right? Those are all great films, well...most of them. It's just that I could watch any of those five listed above at any time and enjoy it as much as the first time I saw them. Taxi Driver is always a film I've had a tough time with. It's a classic and quintessential De Niro, maybe THE quintessential De Niro film. But I've never loved it as much as the rest of the world.  Same with The King of Comedy. The Deer Hunter I recall just as much for the performances of John Savage and Christopher Walken.

Raging Bull was the first De Niro film I ever saw that just floored me. He disappeared into that role like I've never seen him do before or since. Just a brutal portrayal of a damaged man and maybe the best boxing film ever made, and that's saying something.

Midnight Run wouldn't work without the comic pairing with Charles Grodin, but that doesn't make it any less of a classic De Niro film in my book. He was flat-out awesome in it as bounty hunter Jack Walsh.  It's hard to tell, but I hope he had as much fun making that film as I have watching it. Which I have several dozen times now. One of my favorite films of all-time.

Goodfellas might seem like an odd choice at first. It's more of a vehicle for Ray Liotta, who is awesome in it in his own right. Or Joe Pesci for that matter. But having re-watched it a few weeks ago, I was amazed at how much of a De Niro film it is. Much of the drama and action in the film comes as a result of his character's actions and/or behind-the-scenes dealings. Often quiet or composed, he lets his facial expressions do most of the acting. And he dominates doing so. Why not the similarly themed Casino? Eh...it's good, but it feels like a pale comparison to Goodfellas.

Mad Dog and Glory is probably the one that has most of you scratching your heads. I just loved how he played against type. Normally that wouldn't result in a De Niro film, but I think it worked to near perfection in this one thanks to some inspired casting like Uma Thurman, David Caruso and Bill Murray. I think it's one of the more underrated films in his catalog.

Ronin is the film that got me thinking about all this. I love that film, and I watch it nearly ever time it's on. Just watched most of it again on Wednesday night. Another film that De Niro is out front of with a fantastic supporting cast like Sean Bean, Stellan Skarsgaard and Jean Reno. Not only does it feel like a quintessential De Niro film, but it also feels like a quintessential John Frankenheimer film as well. I used to love it for the breath-taking car chase scenes through crowded French streets, but now I watch it for De Niro and the rest of the actors.

Do you have any personal favorite De Niro films that I may have missed?

Suggestion

Do yourself a favor.

Sign up for a 2-week free trial of EPIX online and then watch Warrior either on your computer or one of your streaming devices.

I just saw it and I think I need some time to process how much I loved it. I'll be back Monday with my review after I watch it again.

Until then...take my advice above. I don't believe you will regret it.

Don't You Just Know It

Watched Snatch again last night. It never gets fucking old. Maybe one of the best soundtracks ever. "Golden Brown" by The Stranglers, "Ghost Town" by The Specials, "Dreadlock Holiday" by 10CC, "Fuckin' in the Bushes" by Oasis...and, of course, "Don't You Just Know It" by Huey "Piano" Smith.

Dig.

3D Sucks

Here's a tip for movie studios:

If you are aren't planning on 3D effects for the entire film, or if you are thinking about adding 3D post-production, just say no.

It becomes distracting to the viewers if the film switches back and forth from 3D to normal projection because some scenes are just too difficult or expensive to transfer to 3D.

Case in point: I loved The Avengers. There is literally nothing I could say about the film that hasn't already been said thousands of times already by people a helluva lot smarter than me (they wish). My one quibble with it was the post-production 3D*. It made no sense. For example, there was a car chase near the beginning of the film. The chase itself was not in 3D, but every time the perspective switched to inside one of the vehicles the 3D kicked in.

What the fucking fuck is that all about? It was inconsistent at best and distracting at worst.

Just say no.  Seriously.

By the way, Dave2 had a great point (spoiler alert) about another minor quibble with the film. I found it even more minor than he did, and I actually had a different issue with the same point. But, like I said, it was minor. The Avengers was a nearly flawless movie-going experience. Notice I didn't say that it was a nearly flawless film. Hard to judge that yet, but as a movie-going experience it ranks up there with Terminator 2: Judgement Day, LotR: The Fellowship of the Ring and Avatar.  Three movies that made me shake my head and mouth "holy crap!" over and over and over again while watching them in the theater. Doesn't mean they were all incredible films, although I think the first two are. Avatar, besides the incredible effects, was largely forgettable for me. But that didn't distract from how awesome it was to see it in the theater.  

The Avengers was like that. Probably the best super-hero movie I've ever seen. We'll reserve judgement on that until it has had some time to sink in. Just go see it!

*I was warned the night before by several folks to skip the 3D version of the film, but I had already purchased my tix for the next day through Fandango. You live, you learn.

Alright, Alright, Alright

David Wooderson is back, girls. And he's just as cool as ever. Check out Matthew McConaughey reprising his best role ever after 19 long years.  The song is courtesy of Butch Walker and the Black Widows.  Dig.

"The older you get, the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N." - words to live by.

h/t: The Interrobang

Holiday Films in the Cornfield

I'm being ultra-lazy today by making you do all the hard work for me.

We have a little internet radio show, and the initial idea was that it was going to be about 50% baseball and 50% other things that interest us.  Movies, TV, food, booze, etc...

But we love baseball so much that it often becomes difficult for us to include the other things we love.  Back before Halloween, we did a special show where we only talked about horror flicks.  No baseball talk at all. It was loads of fun.

In the coming weeks, we are going to incorporate more topics like food and booze as we see fit, but specifically we are planning a Holiday film episode a few weeks down the pike.  Just Holiday film reviews. And here's the thing...I don't know that many Holiday films off the top of my head.  Here's what I got:

• It's a Wonderful Life
• Miracle on 34th Street
• White Christmas
• Holiday Inn
• The Nightmare Before Christmas
• Elf
• Love Actually
• A Christmas Story
• A Christmas Carol (or any of the remakes)

That's all I can really think of.  I left out some that I didn't enjoy like The Santa Clause or Jingle All the Way.  I left out others that I did enjoy that I don't really consider Holiday films like Home Alone or Die Hard. Just because a film is set during the holidays, doesn't make it a Holiday film.  (Although one could make an argument for Home Alone)

So I'm asking you, dear reader, what is a really good Holiday film that I need to see and enjoy?  I'm looking for some suggestions so I can add them to my list and maybe review a couple of them during that show I mentioned previously.

And if Christmas isn't your bag, and your faith's holiday has a good flick, throw that in as well.  That's why I refer to them with the PC-tag "Holiday" instead of Christmas.  But, for the life of me, I can't think of one Hanukkah, Eid, Saturnalia, Yalda, etc... film.  So if you know of any, this is the place to enlighten me.

Movie Review: The Shrine (2010)

Just because we are done with the Halloween season, doesn't have to mean I'm done with horror flick. Nope, I watch those year-round. The latest and one of the greatest is this nasty little flick called The Shrine that I found on Netflix.

The film starts off with a young man who appears to be ritualistically killed by satanists or something.  It's a great opening that brings back memories of those old 60's and early 70's Hammer films, the non-vampire ones. Actually, the entire movie is like a love letter to those old satanist cult films that I loved so much as a kid.

A journalist and her two friends go to Poland to see if they can solve the mystery of the missing young man who was killed in the opening scene.  They find a backwards town that could have existed at just about any point in time, but would have fit right in with those Hammer flicks I mentioned. And the townfolk don't want these Americans nosing around in their business.  But there is this weird stationary fog that has settled over a part of the forest and they want to investigate it, so they do.

What they find is a creepy ass demon statue holding a human heart. Then shit starts to get real, or unreal to be more specific. I'm not going to give any spoilers because I don't want to ruin it for you if you intend on watching it, but the film really kicks into high gear after that.

Oh, and the filmmakers decided against giving us subtitles for the parts in Polish. This way we, the viewers, are as much in the dark as the American characters in the film. It's unsettling in a great way.

It's one of those small horror flicks that actually exceeded my expectations.  Nothing historic, you understand.  But it's pretty damn good.  Check it!

Movie Night

Holy shit!

Halloween is just a few short days away! And I haven't even figured out what I'm going as!!!

OK...I'm calm now. Halloween sure isn't the same when you are grown up without any interesting costume parties to go to. And no...I'm not asking for any invites. Thanks, anyway.

But I am excited for one thing these next few days. Horror movies. Lots of 'em.

I've already made sure to record some of the classics like Halloween, Bride of Frankenstein, Night of the Living Dead, etc..  Films I should already have in my library, except that I don't really have a movie library anymore. Those DVDs didn't survive the last move, and who really needs "hard" copies of films in this age of digital streaming?  I can't tell you the last time I popped a DVD or Blu-Ray into the player.  That thing just sits there like a...sitting thing. Yeah.

Well, anyway...I'm sure I'll be supplementing the fare that is playing on AMC and TMC and wherever with some new stuff on NetFlix or Amazon Instant. And I can't wait.

Horror movies. Yeah, that's what I'm in the mood for.

You?

PS - Oh, one more thing. I'm going to be reviewing them as I see them. So expect a bunch of posts in the coming days. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!!!

Guilty Pleasures Redux

After a long fight against a pre-Winter cold, I'm back. And meaner than ever.

Okay...maybe not.

But I am back, after missing most of the last week or so in the Blogosphere. Sure, a little Twitter here, a little commenting there. But it's not the same. I even had to miss the last episode of Just Talking to the Cornfield on Sunday night because I lost my voice after an ill-advised bout of drinking over the weekend. Well, it was probably the cold night air that did me in, but I think the booze may have had something to do with it as well.

Oh, I'll be reviewing the booze over here shortly.  You are gonna dig it.

The Colonel and I were supposed to discuss some of our guilty pleasure films/books/tv/whatever on that episode.  And we probably still will whenever we find time to record another show. We even share one in common that we were going to use as a discussion point. Notting Hill. Yeah, both of us are hopeless romantics at heart. Especially when the romance involves the world's most famous actress (as played by Julia Roberts...hehe), and an idyllic setting like the one in the film. Cry us a river.

But the ultimate guilty pleasure movie for most men I know is Road House. Patrick Swayze, Sam Elliot, Ben Gazzara. An American rip-off of the classic kung fu films I grew up. Lone warrior wanders into a town that is persecuted by a powerful warlord. Distancing himself, at first, the warrior eventually falls for the town and its people and takes measures to bring down the evil warlord.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it.  Happens with me.

Anyway.

So what are some of your guilty pleasures? Movies, books, magazines, trashy talk-shows, soap operas? What?

Hit me.

So...how have ya been?

Yeah, I know...it's been some time now.  Did you miss me? I missed you.

Maybe that's a good thing every once in a while.  It's been several weeks since I was posting regularly here on the ole Verdant Dude.  Lots of reasons for that.  Vacation was the reason for at the beginning, but then life intervened in ways that I don't really want to talk about here. Because that's not what I use this space for.  I did, once upon a time.  But I've since decided to keep this site mostly free of my personal life.

But I'm still kicking, don't you worry about me.

So what can I talk about here?  Let's see...BULLET STYLE!!!

• We've done three new episodes of Just Talking to the Cornfield since the last time I've regularly blogged.  The Colonel and I have discussed all kinds of fascinating baseball-related topics.  OK, fascinating to some people.  Pure Hell for others.  Different strokes and all.  Oh, we are on iTunes as well, so look for us there.
  
• There was that vacation I mentioned above. Block Island off the coast of Rhode Island (which isn't really an island at all). That was some fun shit right there. Mostly.  I heartily recommend that place to anyone who enjoys the island life...without having to go all the way to the Caribbean.  
• I've seen a bunch of new stuff on Netflix Instant. Namely French zombie movies.  That's right...French zombie movies.  That would be "zombi" en francais. The Horde was excellent.  Mutants a little less so, but still entertaining.  Oh, those French...
• Saw the new Captain America flick. Man, oh man that was a shitload of fun.  If you like well-done war movies or well-done superhero flicks, then you should check it out.  If you like both...well, run to the theater.  It's that good.  Seriously.
• I've discovered that the best possible use for Catdaddy Carolina Moonshine is to mix it with a splash of OJ and some seltzer.  A Catdaddy Orangina, if you will. It...is...sublime.
• I've read three more Jack Reacher books from Lee Childs.  I'm still having a hard time believing that Tom Cruise might wind up playing him in a feature film.  ::shivers::
• Speaking of Tom Cruise, before the Cap film we saw a trailer for the next Mission Impossible movie. I certainly have issues with Cruise (can he fly yet?), but I did love the first and third entries in the series.  And since JJ Abrams is involved again in this one, along with Jeremy Renner, I'm all in.  Entertainment!

Ugh...that's all I got. Seems I haven't been doing much of anything at all.  Well, anything I want to share with y'all here anyways.  A girl's gotta keep some secrets.  Shhhhhh.

While the woman is away...

...I watch a ton of Netflix Instant offerings.  And then I give you some quick reviews.  Like this:

I Saw the Devil - Korean-made thriller about a government agent who doggedly pursues the serial killer who murdered his fiancee.  This one is brutal and certainly not for everyone.  But the acting and the pure cinema of it all makes it a plus recommendation for me.  My Netflix Rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

Searching For Bobby Fischer - Seen this one a bunch of times and I posted a clip on this here blog just the other day.  If you haven't seen this one yet, do yourself a favor and give it a watch.  The kid who plays the main character is amazing.  So is the rest of the cast.  Chess? Exciting? It sure can be.  My Netflix Rating: 5 out of 5 stars.

Hunt to Kill - Sometimes I like brilliant, cerebral cinema.  Sometimes I like silly, ridiculously bad action flicks with horrible titles starring pro wrestlers who really can't act.  That's this one.  Stone Cold Steve Austin plays a border patrol cop trying to protect his daughter from some murderous thugs.  Gil Bellows as the "bad guy" is outstandingly awful.  His overacting is legendary.  My Netflix Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

Last man Standing - I've seen it before, and I recall liking it better the first time around.  This time? Kinda boring.  Bruce Willis takes the Clint Eastwood role from A Fistful of Dollars (and the Toshiro Mifune role from Yojimbo) and plays it...kinda like Bruce Willis doing a Clint Eastwood role.  Not really bad, necessarily.  But not nearly as good as the two prior films.  My Netflix Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

Easy A - An updated teen comedy version of The Scarlett Letter. Decent acting and some funny cinema in-jokes, but kinda forgetable in the long run. Do kids in High School really care who sleeping with who nowadays?  I dunno.  My Netflix Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

Chloe - Messy sexual thriller starring the always wonderful Julianne Moore and the drop-dead gorgeous Amanda Seyfried.  Seriously, someone needs to make a sex robot and use Seyfried as the model.  But for all the titillation (hehe), it left me with a big ole pile of meh.  No big twists, or rather none that weren't telegraphed from a mile away. But Seyfried sure is fun to look at.  My Netflix Rating: 2 out of 5 stars.

Paranormal Activty - I've seen this one already, and I thought it was decent right up to the silly ending.  But I had Paranormal Activity 2 on Blu-Ray and I figured why not watch this one again as a warm-up.  My Netflix Rating: A begruding 3 out of 5 stars.

Paranormal Activity 2 - I liked this one slightly better than the first film.  It's actually a prequel rather than a sequel.  I'm not usually a fan of horror films that feel a need to explain everything.  But I think it worked quite well in this case.  The acting certainly was better than the first film, and the constant presence of cameras was much better explained.  My Netflix Rating: A solid 3 out of 5 stars.

The Human Centipede: First Sequence - The only reason I chose this is that I've got a friend who has been on my ass for months to watch it.  I'm sorry I did.  Do yourself a favor and find Daniel Tosh's video description of it on Comedy Central's website.  Much better than this hateful flick.  My Netflix Rating: 1 out of 5 stars.

Pandorum - I needed to get the bad taste of the previous film out of my mouth, so I picked this nifty sci-fi/horror/thriller that deserved a second viewing.  Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster play crewmembers of a spacecraft on it's way to a new Earth-like planet with a cargo of settlers.  Bad things happen when they are roused from hyper-sleep during the journey, man.  Bad things.  My Netflix Rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

No huge recommendations from the bunch besides the chess flick, but a few decent offerings.  A few clunkers too, but whaddya gonna do.  Cheers!

Earl's Favorite Film Scenes: Vol X

This one is from Searching for Bobby Fischer.  A truly brilliant film with great performances all around. Especially by the kid playing the main character.  Amazing!

You can watch the whole 15 minute clip, but my favorite part goes from the 1:00 mark to the 2:06 mark.

"How many ballplayer grow up afraid of losing their father's love every time they come up to the plate?"

"ALL OF THEM!"

Wow....just....wow.

5 Netflix Instant Recommendations

This one is gonna be interactive, kiddies.  First, I'll give you five title recommendations that are currently available on Netflix Instant.  Then you, at least those of you who use Netflix, supply me with five more recommendations in the comments section.  Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy.

1. The Way of the Gun - FINALLY available to the Internets!  No, it's not high art.  But it is a whole mess o' fun.  Dig as Benicio del Toro and Ryan Phillipe fuck some shit up as a modern-day Butch and Sundance.  Hell, just watch it for the first 5 minutes of the film which features a potty-mouthed Sarah Silverman. It's...glorious.
2. Calvin Marshall - I spoke about this one last week on our radio show that I'm sure you are all listening to each week.  Ahem.  It's a small film, the kind that studios don't seem to make all that often anymore.  Sure, baseball is the background to the story, but it's more about small towns and growing up and dealing with life.  Great acting all around in this little gem.
3. Marwencol - I actually haven't watched this one yet, but it's in my queue, raring to go. It's a documentary about a man who was left brain damaged after a savage beating who communicates through elaborate dioramas he builds of a fictional town called Marwencol. From just about every review I've read, this one is supposed to be awesome.
4. Torchwood - This one is a British television series...a spin-off of Doctor Who, actually.  But much more sophisticated and adult-themed than it's predecessor.  Just as much fun, though.  The first three series (seasons) are available on Netflix right now, and the fourth series should be available this Summer as it airs new on Starz Play each week.  I've written about this show before, and it's one of my all-time favorites.  You don't need to be a fan of the Doctor to enjoy it.
5. The Crazies - The 2009 remake of the 1973 George Romero classic.  You know what I mostly hate about some of the newer horror flicks out there? It's that feeling that no one would really act that way under those circumstances.  Like carrying around a video camera while battling for your life.  I never had that feeling while watching this film. That's why I think it's a near-perfect entry in the genre.  And Timothy Olyphant is just dreamy, of course.

Your turn, whack-jobs!  Do it to it.

Earl's Favorite Film Scenes: Volume IX

Tired tonight after another epic episode of Just Talking to the Cornfield (listen here or here). So instead of a well-written, well-planned post (yeah, right!), you get another one of my favorite film scenes.  Just because, just for scuzz.

This one is from So I Married an Axe Muderer, and if you listened to the show last night you'll probably know why I picked it.  The clip is a little long, and it's only marginally funny.  But Mike Myers brings it as the Scottish father here.

MOVE! HEAD!

Enjoy!

The Room

I know I'm late to the party here, but at the coaxing of Gia and her family this past weekend I finally watched Tommy Wiseau's bad film opus/epic The Room.  And wow...just wow.  Everything that you've ever heard about this film is true.  It's awful.  BEYOND AWFUL.  Imagine the worst movie you've ever seen.  Then multiply that by the second worst movie you've ever seen.  Then the third, and so on and so on and so on.  The result might come close to approaching the absolute atom bomb of a bad movie that is The Room.  Maybe. 

I loved it!

And not because I believe Wiseau was trying to make a black comedy, as he now claims.  Something that is supposed to be bad.  But because I think it's obvious that he was trying to do the exact opposite.  It really looks like he was trying to make an earnest romance/drama.  Even though he had no experience with film-making whatsoever.  That's obvious to anyone who watches the film.  But it certainly looks like he was trying his best.  So the truly awful final product makes it even more tragic/wonderful.

You have to see this film.  It's...beyond comprehension.

The plot, what little plot there is, revolves around a sordid love triangle between Johnny, his future wife* Lisa and his best friend Mark.  Lisa has (maybe?) fallen out of love with Johnny and has seduced the morally ambivalent Mark.  She might now be in love with Mark, but it's hard to tell.  Because the most oft-repeated line of the movie is "I don't want to talk about it".  Lots of hemming and hawing and back and forth as Lisa plies her moves on both of her dim-witted suitors. 

*The word "fiancee" is never used in the film.  Just "future wife" or "future husband", both of which are used over a dozen times.  So freaking odd.

Along the way there are sub-plots that are introduced and dropped at super-sonic speed.  Like Lisa's mother's cancer.  Or the neighbor kid Denny and the money he owes to drug dealers.  Or the football game that breaks out between the fellas in an alley while they are all wearing tuxedos.  That one is never explained at all.  Neither is the title of the film, by the way.  In interviews, Wiseau claims that he named it The Room to emphasize a safe place that everyone has.  Something as simple as a room.  I dunno how that fits into non-existent plot of the film, but that's his semi-explanation. 

But really the plot is mainly used as connective tissues between the dozen or so sex scenes that Wiseau builds the film around.  Five minutes into the film we are treated to the soft-core sexual stylings of Wiseau and Juliette Danielle, the young lady who stepped off a bus (literally) and into Wiseau's film.  We are subjected to seeing Wiseau's horrific body over and over and over again.  I mean, I guess he's in shape.  But between his awful hair, awful accent (see below), awful acting and awful musculature...I dunno.  It's as if an ape was shaved and taught (barely) how to speak.  At some point, seeing that shaved ape run around naked would get, um, kinda creepy.  Put some pants on, Kong.  That's how it felt to see Tommy Wiseau constantly naked. 

Wiseau himself is a bit of a mystery.  He claims to be an American, born in New Orleans.  But his accent is clearly French...or Eastern European...or, damn.  Ok, his accent isn't "clearly" anything.  But it's definitely thick.  He claims to have come up with the $6 million it cost to make The Room by importing and selling leather coats from Korea.  He refuses to elaborate any further on which Korea he means, but this film has all the markings of something that Kim Jong-il might be involved with. 

Do yourself a favor.  Get a copy of The Room, get some friends together, serve some cocktails and enjoy the ride.  There's a reason why it's become a cult classic among a crowd much hipper than myself.  Yet I'm just hip enough to recognize genius or total lack thereof when I see it.  Lack thereof, thy name is Tommy Wiseau.

One Paragraph Movie Reviews: Vol II

I did this a while ago. And since I would have to turn this into a movie review blog (you mean it isn't) if I were to write a post for every new movie I've seen, well...I'm recycling the idea. You gotta problem with that? These films are all fairly different.  What can I say?  I'm eclectic.

PS - I'm really not.

______________________________________________________

Unthinkable (2010) - This was tough film to watch.  A terrorist plot against several U.S. cities has come to light, and in the course of rounding up suspects a former government-sponsored interrogator is accidentally picked up.  When the real suspect is also brought in, the FBI decides to use the interrogator and his highly controversial methods to find out the locations of the attacks.  This one isn't for the faint of heart.  Lots of grisly torture scenes.  Besides that, it almost felt like a stage play with most of the action taking place in one room.  Great acting with the likes of Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Sheen (not the crazy one) and Carrie-Anne Moss.  It just didn't overcome the brutality of the subject matter.   And since I had my own opinions about the effectiveness of torture during interrogations, it didn't do enough to change my mind.

My Netflix Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Monsters (2010) - I really liked this film.  If felt like some weird mix of Cloverfield and Apocalypse Now, in some ways.   In the near future, NASA has discovered alien life forms living in our solar system.  A probe, with samples, crash lands in Northern Mexico.  Half of the country is quarantined as the Infected Zone is now overrun with the alien creatures.  A photojournalist is hired to rescue the daughter of a rich American businessman after an attack near the Infected Zone.  After missing the last ferry back to the States, they embark on a journey through the Infected Zone with hired guides via river boat.  It's an extremely low-budget film that comes across a a film with a much higher budget.  A crew of 2 people, some $8,400 cameras and a digital effects program.  That's it.  Everything was shot on location, most of it without any permission.  And the extras were just folks that happened to be around when they were filming.  A really nice job by the writer/director, Gareth Edwards.

My Netflix Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Atanarjuat, the Fast Runner (2002) - This one was a recommendation from our friend, RW.  A good one too.  Telling the pre-history story of two Inuit brothers named Amiqjuac (the Strong One) and Atanarjuat (the Fast Runner).  They and the rest of their tribe must deal with a haunting evil that has come to their people in the form of a mocking shaman.  Atanarjuat falls in love with a woman who is promised in marriage to his rival, and that sets tragic events in motion.  This is the very first movie filmed entirely using the Inuktituk language.  It was also filmed in glossy video, which was initially distracting but felt right after a while.  The movie featured two things I love.  Old myths from different cultures, and an Arctic setting.  I'm fascinated by the Arctic.  Not an easy viewing as it was a bit confusing from the get-go, and it ran a bit long.  But definitely worth it.

My Netflix Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Faster (2010) - I love me some Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson.  I really do.   And even I went into this film knowing that it was gonna be pure brain candy and mindless violence.  But it slowly won me over with the performances and, believe it or not, nuance.  Johnson is a man known as Driver who gets out of prison after a 10-year stretch for bank robbery.  He has spent his time in prison preparing to take revenge on a crew of criminals who killed his brother and left him for dead.  One by one, he tracks the crew down and exacts his revenge.  But he isn't just a mindless instrument of vengeance.  The killings begin to take their toll on him.  Interestingly, an assassin was hired to track him down and dispose of him.  And the assassin is dealing with his own career choice issues.  Looking to move on.  Throw in a drugged-out cop on his way to retirement (played by Billy Bob Thornton), and you've got a movie.  There was nothing surprising about the film.  I actually was hating it for the first 20 minutes or so.  But it slowly won me over with the performances.  Yes, including The Rock.  He was really, really good in this one.

My Netflix Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Quick hits

• Dinner for Schumcks - Awful.  1 out of 5 stars.
• Freakonomics - Very interesting. 4 out of 5 stars.
• Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - I don't know what I was thinking. 1 out of 5 stars.
• All-Star Superman - A Superman story that doesn't involve kryptonite. 3 out of 5 stars.