Jun 20, 2011

While the woman is away...

...I watch a ton of Netflix Instant offerings.  And then I give you some quick reviews.  Like this:

I Saw the Devil - Korean-made thriller about a government agent who doggedly pursues the serial killer who murdered his fiancee.  This one is brutal and certainly not for everyone.  But the acting and the pure cinema of it all makes it a plus recommendation for me.  My Netflix Rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

Searching For Bobby Fischer - Seen this one a bunch of times and I posted a clip on this here blog just the other day.  If you haven't seen this one yet, do yourself a favor and give it a watch.  The kid who plays the main character is amazing.  So is the rest of the cast.  Chess? Exciting? It sure can be.  My Netflix Rating: 5 out of 5 stars.

Hunt to Kill - Sometimes I like brilliant, cerebral cinema.  Sometimes I like silly, ridiculously bad action flicks with horrible titles starring pro wrestlers who really can't act.  That's this one.  Stone Cold Steve Austin plays a border patrol cop trying to protect his daughter from some murderous thugs.  Gil Bellows as the "bad guy" is outstandingly awful.  His overacting is legendary.  My Netflix Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

Last man Standing - I've seen it before, and I recall liking it better the first time around.  This time? Kinda boring.  Bruce Willis takes the Clint Eastwood role from A Fistful of Dollars (and the Toshiro Mifune role from Yojimbo) and plays it...kinda like Bruce Willis doing a Clint Eastwood role.  Not really bad, necessarily.  But not nearly as good as the two prior films.  My Netflix Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

Easy A - An updated teen comedy version of The Scarlett Letter. Decent acting and some funny cinema in-jokes, but kinda forgetable in the long run. Do kids in High School really care who sleeping with who nowadays?  I dunno.  My Netflix Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

Chloe - Messy sexual thriller starring the always wonderful Julianne Moore and the drop-dead gorgeous Amanda Seyfried.  Seriously, someone needs to make a sex robot and use Seyfried as the model.  But for all the titillation (hehe), it left me with a big ole pile of meh.  No big twists, or rather none that weren't telegraphed from a mile away. But Seyfried sure is fun to look at.  My Netflix Rating: 2 out of 5 stars.

Paranormal Activty - I've seen this one already, and I thought it was decent right up to the silly ending.  But I had Paranormal Activity 2 on Blu-Ray and I figured why not watch this one again as a warm-up.  My Netflix Rating: A begruding 3 out of 5 stars.

Paranormal Activity 2 - I liked this one slightly better than the first film.  It's actually a prequel rather than a sequel.  I'm not usually a fan of horror films that feel a need to explain everything.  But I think it worked quite well in this case.  The acting certainly was better than the first film, and the constant presence of cameras was much better explained.  My Netflix Rating: A solid 3 out of 5 stars.

The Human Centipede: First Sequence - The only reason I chose this is that I've got a friend who has been on my ass for months to watch it.  I'm sorry I did.  Do yourself a favor and find Daniel Tosh's video description of it on Comedy Central's website.  Much better than this hateful flick.  My Netflix Rating: 1 out of 5 stars.

Pandorum - I needed to get the bad taste of the previous film out of my mouth, so I picked this nifty sci-fi/horror/thriller that deserved a second viewing.  Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster play crewmembers of a spacecraft on it's way to a new Earth-like planet with a cargo of settlers.  Bad things happen when they are roused from hyper-sleep during the journey, man.  Bad things.  My Netflix Rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

No huge recommendations from the bunch besides the chess flick, but a few decent offerings.  A few clunkers too, but whaddya gonna do.  Cheers!

12 comments:

Water Logged Canine said...

The only thing hateful is you. 4 out of 5 stars for Pandorum, and 3 out of 5 for Easy A? I don't even know what to say...except that you're not even worthy of a crazy-mad (albeit eastern European) scientist sewing your mouth to my anus.

B.E. Earl said...

Doggie - Hehehehe. I knew that would get yer goat. In other news, you have a goat?

And yeah...I'm very generous with my movie ratings normally. But I really didn't like Human Centipede. Sorry.

Jimmy said...

Last Man Standing did little for Willis's stature as one of Hollywoods true tough guys. That shit-eating grin of his began to get on my tits after only 15 minutes into a rather shitty film.

Perhaps a long weekend in Glasgow may hone his skills when it comes to dealing with real blood and guts?

badgerdaddy said...

Do you not think Last Man Standing was much more Bad Day At Black Rock than Fistful?

And as for Hunt To Kill... That may be the greatest film title ever. Well, after Blastfighter: Force of Vengeance.

savannah said...

i've only seen hunt for bobby fisher and easy a and agree with you on both. re your question about high schoolers, yes, they still do care. and it starts even earlier - talk to a middle school teacher or parent of a teenager! now your bidness is all over twitter and fb! xoxoxo

B.E. Earl said...

Jimmy - I admit to a soft spot for Bruce Willis flicks. It's a character flaw.

badger - Well, both Fistful and this Last Man were remakes of Yojimbo. It's listed right in the credits. But I can see some elements of Bad Day. And the title of Hunt to Kill is what did it for me. I'm a sucker for a bad title.

Savannah - The film is about a year old, but they didn't really mention Twitter or FB. They showed kids texting the news to each other...maybe we were to infer that it was FB updates or the like.

sybil law said...

I will never, ever watch The Human Centipede. Nasty.

Slyde said...

only 3 stars for easy a?

i loved that film!

B.E. Earl said...

Sybil - Wise choice.

Slyde - Yeah, it was okay. Nothing great. Oh wait...you are being sarcastic guy. Gotcha.

Slyde said...

no, dick. i really liked it.

savannah said...

i was answering your question, sorry, i wasn't clear. my daughter is an administrator at a middle school and she is constantly telling me how much WORSE is it now than when she was in high school! xoxoxo

B.E. Earl said...

Savannah - Oh, I knew you were answering the question. I wasn't clear in my response. :)