Small Change

Image source: Wikipedia

One of the more interesting thing I used to love about music and albums, in particular, was the album cover itself. Take the above image for Tom Waits' album "Small Change".  I think it says just as much about the man and the music as the stuff that plays on the record. And how cool is it that the nearly naked woman posing as the bored dancer in the background is most likely Cassandra Peterson.  She of Elvira fame, of course.  She's not credited on the album, nor has she ever fully verified it. But she admits that it sure does look like her, and that was a time and place in her life when she doesn't really, ahem, remember exactly everything that went down.  Cool, huh?

In honor of the lovely and talented Mistress of the Dark, here's a little Tom Scat for ya.

Pasties and a G String

by Tom Waits

Smelling like a brewery,

looking like a tramp

I ain't got a quarter

got a postage stamp

Been five o'clock shadow boxing

all around the town

Talking with the old men

sleeping on the ground

Bazanti bootin

al zootin al hoot

and Al Cohn

sharin this apartment

with a telephone pole

and it's a fish-net stockings

spike-heel shoes

Strip tease, prick tease

car kease blues

and the porno floor show

live nude girls

dreamy and creamy

and the brunette curls

Chesty Morgan and a

Watermelon Rose

raise my rent and take off

all your clothes

with the trench coats

magazines bottle full of rum

she's so good, it make

a dead man cum, with

pasties and a g-string

beer and a shot

Portland through a shot glass

and a Buffalo squeeze

wrinkles and cherry

and twinky and pinky

and FeFe live from Gay Paree

fanfares rim shots

back stage who cares

all this hot burlesque for me

cleavage, cleavage thighs and hips

from the nape of her neck

to the lip stick lips

chopped and channeled

and lowered and louvered

and a cheater slicks

and baby moons

she's hot and ready

and creamy and sugared

and the band is awful

and so are the tunes

crawlin on her belly shakin like jelly

and I'm getting harder than

Chinese algebraziers and cheers

from the compendium here

hey sweet heart they're yellin for more

squashing out your cigarette butts

on the floor

and I like Shelly

you like Jane

what was the girl with the snake skins name

it's an early bird matinee

come back any day

getcha little sompin

that cha can't get at home

getcha little sompin

that cha can't get at home

pasties and a g-string

beer and a shot

Portland through a shot glass

and a Buffalo squeeze

popcorn, front row

higher than a kite

and I'll be back tomorrow night

and I'll be back tomorrow night

Movie Macabre

Note: Hat tip to Stacie Ponder over at Final Girl for bringing this to my attention yesterday. - Earl

Yesterday was Elvira's birthday.  OK, I guess it was Cassandra Peterson's birthday.  The woman who brought Elvira to life and made happy-happy joy-joy time in young Earl's pants.  She is delicious!

There was a time back in the early-mid 1980's when Movie Macabre* was just about my favorite thing on television.  Bad horror flicks being busted on in Valley Girl schtick by a hottie with cleavage down to her navel?  Yes, please!  What was great about Elvira is that she obviously never took herself very seriously.  She often made fun of herself as much as the terrible films she was hosting.  And shakes alive...they were awful!  But in a good way, ya know?

If you are at all interested in checking out what I found so entertaining back in the day, Hulu has ten episodes available on their site.  Some really good ones too!

It's programming like this that is seriously lacking from today's late-night TV schedule.  I'd love to see a hip and funny return to action for both Movie Macabre and Elvira.  Wouldn't anyone?

Here is a very-NSFW clip from the episode "The Devil's Wedding Night".  I remember watching this one when it first aired.  The boobies, of course, were edited out on the television show.  But God(dess) bless Hulu for, um, un-editing these clips.  In other words, hooray for boobies!  Enjoy.

*Is it just me, or is "macabre" one of the best words ever?

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Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the sexy goth vampires are doing it.