"I know mind control"

I think celebrity gossip/news might be the worst thing about living in the information age. Television shows that are solely about celebrity news and gossip. Websites that give us the scoop first. Even worse are the gossip-mongers themselves who have become pseudo-celebrities just because they know how to pay off a paparazzi better than the other guy.

I loathe celebrity gossip/news.

That being said...here's a celebrity news story for y'all that just tickled me pink.

Whoa.

So it seems that this woman from Ontario named Karen Sala is dead convinced that Keanu Reeves is the father of her four adult children and she is looking for $3 million a month in spousal support and another $150,000 in retroactive child support.  She is convinced of this even though Keanu Reeves has agreed to DNA testing which has proved that he is absolutely NOT the father of this woman's children.  Why?  Well, I don't like to throw around the word "crazy" about casually.  There are lots of geniunely sick people out there who have suffered even more in life solely because they have been labeled as such.  It's really not a nice word.

But this woman is fucking crazy.

Here is a small taste of the crazy that she is bringing, besides the ridiculous amount of money she is looking to get from Neo each month:

• She claims that she often runs into him at the local McDonald's and the No Frills grocery store.  Everyone knows Reeves is a Wendy's guy.  Whoa. 
• She suggests that Keanu uses hypnosis and that he would often disguise himself as different men, including her husband, just to be with her.  And that he wouldn't even used that hypnosis to get her to quit smoking. Whoa.
• She questions the validity of the paternity test as she believes that he might have tampered with the results or used hypnosis to affect them.  The hypnosis...it is strong in this one.  Whoa.
  
• She claims to have proof that Reeves is the father of her children, but she refuses to submit said evidence to the court.  Maybe her kids are bad actors as well.  Whoa.
• Not only does he disguise himself, but he also uses different names when he is with her.  In fact, even though she has known him since she was a child she never put together who he was because she knew him by the name Marty Spencer.  Marty Spencer...the role of a lifetime!  Whoa.
  
• She claims that he phoned the local food bank to prevent her from getting any food from them, and that he follows her around and generally "interferes" with her trying to get a new job.  I think she stole that from his next movie script, actually.  Whoa.

Come to think of it, maybe Keanu Reeves really is proficient in hypnosis.  I mean on a global level.  How else could you explain the success of Speed* and The Matrix films?

WE BEEN HYP-MO-TIZED!!!

*I kinda like Speed actually.  But just to hear Dennis Hopper say "The whim of a madman! The whim of a madman!"

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Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Keanu means "bad actor" in Hawaiian.