Jan 18, 2011

U.F.Oh Shit...

I think I want to become a UFO buff.  What kind of dedication does it take to become a buff?  Do I need to stop doing anything that can be considered living a "normal" life to dedicate those hours of the day toward my new hobby, er, obsession, er, calling?  Do I need to do something to get on an FBI watch list?  Should I stop showering?

OK, I don't really want to become a UFO buff.  Maybe I just want to become a bit of a conspiracy theory buff and UFOs seem to be behind a lot of those.  But being a conspiracy theory buff sounds exhausting.  How but just a conspiracy theory hobbyist?  That sounds harmless.  But I know me.  I get obsessed with my hobbies, whether it be comic-books, movies, beer or midget-fetish porn.  That last one nearly did me in.

So I guess I just would prefer to skip all the research, psycho-babble and speculation about aliens and UFOs.  I want to just...know.  That way, if there is a massive underwater fleet of UFOs lurking under the Southern Ocean near Antarctica and if the United States has been in a state of constant warfare with the alien horde, I can be prepared when WikiLeaks reveals it all to the world.

Especially if they are causing earthquakes and tidal waves and shit.  I live near the water, people.  You can't be too careful.

15 comments:

sybil law said...

As if Jaws wasn't enough to worry about...

Beach Bum said...

Given what we have been living through the last few years underwater aliens wouldn't be that different from some of the "people" we see on television every night.

midget-fetish porn?
LOL!!!

SK Waller said...

Geez, the things you miss when you don't watch telly.

Paticus said...

But, don't you SEE?!?! You'll never REALLY KNOW, because THEY don't want you to!!
Wait, what was that noise? Did you hear that clicking on the line? Oh, man, I've said too much. I'll contact you after I get to my secure location.

B.E. Earl said...

Sybil - Maybe the aliens look like great white sharks! Did I just blow your mind? I think I did.

Beach Bum - Yes...midget-fetish porn. ;)

Steph - I haven't seen this story anywhere on TV. Just the conspiracy theory rags, er, sites.

Paticus - I'll be at the place wearing the thing at the pre-arranged time. If I'm not there, then I'll be someplace else. Blink twice if you understand.

RW said...

Interestingly (I hope) enough, skeptics and debunkers of all this wild hair shit are pointing to Wikileaks as arguments against the theories. No UFO data, no Bush attacks the towers, nothing anywhere.

Just no fun at all.

B.E. Earl said...

RW - But it's supposed to be coming from WikiLeaks in the next round. The UFO shit, at least.

Slyde said...

you're just hoping that you get an anal probe...

B.E. Earl said...

Slyde - There it is! Knew I could count on you for a butt joke.

hello haha narf said...

mind = blown

Water Logged Canine said...

How Long is a Chinaman.

B.E. Earl said...

Becky - It happens to the best of us.

Doggie - How Long IS a Chinaman.

white rabbit said...

I saw a UFO once. Mind you I was off my face on some fine resin at the time...

The girl I was with saw it too. Mind you she was totally wrecked as well.

Jus sayin.

B.E. Earl said...

Wabbit - Never even when I've been whacked out. And that's saying something.

Lotus07 said...

I am sure this will all be revealed in Wiki-Leaks next batch of posts....along with who really killed Michael Jackson.