May 2, 2011

The Rules

Somebody, somewheres on the Internets pointed my attention over to the Modern Drunkard Magazine website earlier this week.  And, of course, I loved it.  Finally a magazine for me!  Ahem...

It's actually a site/magazine that has recently been revived after a hiatus.  And one of the classic "bits" from several years ago was their 86 Rules of Boozing.  Go to that and check it out, but I'll share with you a couple of my favorites here:

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.

28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.

50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.

74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.

The other ones are almost as good.  Check, check, check...check it out!  Cheers!
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In other news...Osama bin Laden.  Yeah...

10 comments:

Slyde said...

There already WAS a magazine 'just for you'....

Did you so soon forget about the lifetime subscription i got you to 'Young Boys Monthly'?

Annabelle said...

Those are great. Will be checking out the rest.

B.E. Earl said...

Slyde - C'mon snookums, that's not a magazine for "me". It's a magazine for "us".

Annabelle - Coolio!

sybil law said...

I missed the show again! We had company here, though - and we were all fried from the weekend. I'm sure it was good, though!

hello haha narf said...

are you kidding me, you just NOW found modern drunkard? please tell me you are also following him on twitter.

p.s. read the sushi pants story. awesome.

hello haha narf said...

fuck. i forgot to check the damn email me follow up comments box. didn't that used to be checked for me?
#lazy

B.E. Earl said...

Sybil - That's two weeks in a row. One more and a spanking is in order.

Becky - Yeah, I had never heard of it before. I'll read the sushi pants story.

Always Home and Uncool said...

My fave -- #22. Applies to many non-drinking, non-bar situations, too.

22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

Avitable said...

I love those!

badgerdaddy said...

I'm not convinced about the Bin Laden saga... Yep, great that he's dead - but he stopped being a big deal a long time ago. They just took out the world's only unusable - as he was the most recognisable - terrorist. But yep, great that he's dead. I hope he shat his robes as he died.