I came this close yesterday.
Not as in "this close to getting my power back." I have no idea when that is going to happen. I'm beginning to suspect that the crews out working are now planning on how they are going to restore power to those who are going to lose it with tonight's Nor'easter (big winter storm) rather than hooking up those of us who are still in the dark. What's a few extra days or a week, right?
No, it's "I came this close to losing it yesterday", and all over something stupid. Wanted a little warm food in me last night so I ordered some takeout from a local Greek diner that we love. Here's a little something about how the phone conversation went with the woman who took my order:
She: Greek Diner, can I help you?
Me: Yes, please. I'd like to order some takeout.
She: What do you want?
Enough with the fucking pleasantries, eh? At this point I noted a bit of a, hmm...how should I put this...cunty tone to her voice. I've been to this place dozens of time and she didn't sound familiar to me. Maybe they were just real busy. I don't know. I trudged on.
Me: OK, I'd like to start with a pint of your chicken, lemon soup.
She: Sir <long, loud sigh>, we only have one size for soups. 16 ounces. Is that what you want?
Me: Um, sure.
I have to say, I was flummoxed at this point. I know they only serve one size of soup. A pint. Or 16 oz, if you want to break it down. Did she not know that 16 oz equals a pint? Was she just being super cunty? And then the "Is that what you want?" at the end there. Yeah, that's what I want because that's what I fucking ordered before you began to give me a weights and measures lesson. My head was spinning a bit here.
OK, I know you aren't interested in the particulars of what else I ordered, so let's let's skip to the end of the call, shall we?
She: OK, what name should I put it under?
At this point, I should say that I never use my last name when placing takeout orders. Why? Because frankly it's a little odd and usually requires some clarification or explanation. So I usually just say "Mike C." leaving my first initial of my last name because Mike is a really fucking common name. But this bitch cut me off or spoke over me as I was saying that.
She: Sir <another long, loud sigh>, Mike is a very common name and we get a lot of those in there. Could you at least give me the first initial of your last name and we'll use that. Okay?
Sounds fair written out like that, but it was her exasperated tone and the fact that she spoke right over me as I was just doing just that. She could have just said "Last initial?" if she was busy and I would have taken it better. But this is the point where I almost lost it. I was literally seeing a red fog in the darkness. People have been so kind and generous throughout this period after the storm. Running into a See You Next Tuesday like this took me by surprise. And pissed me off.
Maybe a second passed before I gave her that initial. It seemed like a lot longer as I weighed my options of what particular I was going to start throwing her way. But, in the end, my better angels won out and I moved on with my life. I didn't even see her at the diner when I picked my food up. Someone else rang me up, someone who I recognized. I had a quick look around to see if I could pick her out, but I just saw the usual suspects.
But I came this close to ending the call with this:
Me: Initial? Howabout C. For CUNT!
Like I said...better angels and what not.