I.L.B.T.'s

This post is inspired by blogger, writer* and all around good egg Erin O'Brien. A few days ago, she posted a video from the band April Wine that was a moderate hit back in 1982. The song in question was called "If You See Kay", and if you say that out loud...well, go read Erin's blog post.

Got me thinking about some of the terrible, raunchy music from the early 80's. And if you read that post, you will see that I commented about a song called "I.L.B.T.'s" (link NSFW-ish) by Joe Walsh from 1983.  An acronym that stands for "I like big tits", which appealed to me when it first came out because I was 16-ish. Still appeals to me now as an older feller. What can I say? I like 'em big. Not making any excuses here.

Anywho...that song came from an album called "You Bought It, You Name It" and there were several songs that got significant airplay from it back in the day, including that one. And yes...a song that proudly stated how much the performer loved big tits had significant airplay on FM radio back in 1983. Believe it or not.

The other two songs from that album were "Space Age Whiz Kids" and "I Can Play That Rock and Roll".  Well, lemme...ugh...oh God! Just watch the videos below and prepare to have soul crushed if you remember 1983 fondly at all.

Okay...a few of things to note.

1. I haven't heard either of these songs in about 25 years. And yet, somehow, when I first found them again on Youtube the other night, I knew them by heart. I mean every lyric and chord of both damned songs. How the fuck is that possible?
2. Both songs are basically about the same thing. A man lamenting an older time when things were simpler and/or better. I'm guessing Joe was feeling a little out of time in 1983.
3. How did Joe Walsh get away with "I Can Play That Rock and Roll" when Bob Seger basically wrote the same exact song 5 years earlier with "Old Time Rock and Roll"? Sure, they sound different, but the message is the same in each. Maybe they were buds, I dunno...

*Read her writing about her brother John O'Brien, author of "Leaving Las Vegas", and his writing here. It's...heartbreaking and awesome.

Movie Macabre DENIED

Psst - Hey! Look over there at the right. Just wanted to remind you all of the Jack-o'-lantern contest. There's a link and a graphic and everything! Tell your enemies! - Earl

On a scheduling note, the second Monday of the month should mean a movie review here on The Verdant Dude as outlined in some previous post. It's been two months since I made that pledge and it hasn't happened yet, but only because of circumstances beyond my control. Last month there was a holiday which pushed my movie review to the third Monday in September. And this month I did a movie review last week as part of the Final Girl Film Club, and I haven't watched another movie since then. Yes, being lazy is a circumstance beyond my control.

But enough self-flagellation, I have something else to talk about. And it is kinda movie related. Specifically, this:

Hubba hubba...

Every since I was a young man, I've had a heart-on for Elvira and her low-budget hosting gig on Movie Macabre. Throughout most of early-mid 1980's, I was glued to the tube late Friday or Saturday nights when our local television station broadcast her show. Gloriously awful B horror flicks interspersed with snarky, wicked commentary from the Mistress of the Dark. And Cassandra Peterson, gothed-up in her punk/vampire/valley girl outfit, was awful fun to, um, look at. Yeah.

Like all things from our youth, Movie Macabre came and went. So I was stoked to the max (really?) to find out that Movie Macabre hosted by Elvira was coming back for another round of titillating (hehe) horror commentary.

Here's the problem. I can't watch it here in the NYC/LI area. If I lived in Birmingham or Boise or Kansas City or Las Vegas or well...just about anywhere else in the country, I could watch it. Just not here. In one of the largest metropolitan areas in the nation. Oh sure, on her site they say that it's being broadcast on WPIX.2 on Fridays at 2AM and Sundays at 1AM, and WPIX is a local channel here. Channel 11 on just about every local cable company's dial. But it's that ".2" at the end of the station's call signals that worried me. I had never heard of WPIX.2 or 11.2. Just how the hell do you get a channel that's in between channels 11 and 12?

Simple answer...you don't. Or I don't. Whatever.

Channel 11.2 is a digitally broadcast channel, but it can only be picked up with an antenna. One of those old TV antennas that we all used to need. And not just the rabbit ears that you could put on the top of the television set. No, you need to buy a real new-fangled one that goes on the roof. So you can access the digi-channels that are only broadcast this way.

Well, I'm not doing that. Even if I did that, I still wouldn't know how to tune into a channel like 11.2. Maybe the antenna comes with some kinds of special tuner. One that gets the "in between" stations like 11.2. I don't know. Do any of you out there watch television this way? Am I missing something?

All I know is that saying that they are broadcasting the show in this manner is like not even broadcasting it at all. At least for me. This just isn't an option.

Which is a shame. Because I really, really, really would like to turn back the clock and watch Movie Macabre once again. Elvira rules so fucking much. Like...totally.

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Happy Columbus Day. Do people say that?

Hellevator

I saw this yesterday on io9, the hip place to be if you're a sci-fi hipster like me.

It's a trailer for a film called Devil, and (despite the fact that it's based on an original story by M. Night Shyamalan) it looks pretty good.  The idea itself is pure simplicity.  Five people are stuck in an elevator, except one of them might just be.......SATAN!

Classic horror story stuff.  And if the trailer is any indication (often not the case), then it looks like it was slickly made.  It's due to hit theaters (maybe) in September.  Either way, I'll probably catch it on Netflix.

Oh yeah, and the goofy looking guy in the suit in the trailer?  Yeah, he's married to this:

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Going down?

Smart

This was just a little something I was thinking about today, so excuse me if it comes off as either condescending or harsh.

But I am surrounded by stupid people.

Every day. Stupid people at the post office. Stupid people at the grocery store. Stupid people on television. Stupid, stupid, stupid...STUPID!

I get a fair amount of compliments on my intelligence.  I think it's all hogwash, but if folks want to think that I am smarter than I actually am then more power to 'em.  I did well in school, even if I never tried very hard.  I also pick up on things quickly, but I think that is more the power of an imaginative mind than actual smarts.

But all in all I don't think I am any smarter than a normal human should be.  See?  I am pretty sure I screwed up the grammar in that last sentence!  Or one of the sentences in the previous paragraph.  I suck at grammar. Not that grammar alone is any indicator of intelligence.  But it sure doesn't hurt!

Anywho, I decided today that one of the things I enjoy most about blogging is reading what smart folks have to say.  Folks who I have come to believe are smarter than I.  I dig that.  I like surrounding myself with them.  Check them out...they are all over my blogroll over there.  Not gonna mention anyone by name, but you know who you are*.

*No.  It's not you.

And just because I saw these earlier today, here are some images of Christina Hendricks from Mad Men.  Va va va vooom!!!

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Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. That woman is freakin' gorgeous!

Witch's Tit

Whenever I want to really get to the bottom of something, I go to Wikipedia. I mean, if it's on the Internets it has to be fact-checked. Right? Anyway, here's what Wikipedia has to say about the Witches' mark or Witch's Teat or Witch's Tit, if you prefer. I prefer tits. If I was given a choice between marks, teats or tits I would probably pick tits every time. Unless I needed some milk for my coffee. I can't drink my coffee without some kind of dairy product. Half and half would be best, but I don't know how it comes out of the cow exactly. And where does buttermilk fit in? Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah, Wikipedia and the Witches' Teat. "According to witch-hunters during the height of the witch trials (c. 1645), the witches’ mark (also called a Devil's mark or a witches' teat) indicated that an individual was a witch. The witches' mark, witches' teat, and the devil's mark are all terms applied to essentially the same mark. The beliefs about the mark differ depending on the trial location and the accusation made against the witch. {snip} Sometimes, the mark was believed to have been left by the Devil licking the individual."

"The witches' teat is associated with the feeding of witches' imps or familiars; the witches' familiars supposedly aided the witch in her magic in exchange for nourishment (blood) from sacrificial animals or from the witch's teat[4]. It is also where the devil supposedly suckles when he comes at night to bed his faithful servants, sometimes impregnating them with his seed. Once the devilish half-breed has been conceived, the cambion may only feed upon this teat and no other. Folklore suggests that on the 7th day of the 7th week of consecutive feeding upon the teat, the cambion would grow to adulthood immediately and begin wreaking havoc with a range of demonic powers inherited from its supernatural father. {snip} Witches’ marks were commonly believed to include moles, scars, birthmarks, skin tags, supernumerary nipples, natural blemishes and insensitive patches of skin."

And in current culture and slang you can find mention of the witch's teat when talking about something like the weather when it gets particularly cold. Wikipedia says so. "The "witch's teat" has been adapted to mean something of a cold or foreboding nature. A common function of the word as slang is used as a representation of cold temperatures. An example of this is: "It's colder than a witch's teat out here!" or "Teats, it's cold!" The first time I had heard this expression was while watching the film All That Jazz with Roy Scheider. Someone said that one of the dancers was "uglier than a witch's tit." Someone else argued that the proper phrase was "colder than a witch's tit." I was 13, so all I cared about was "tit". Of course.


So yeah, it was colder than a witch's tit in New York yesterday.

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Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the sexy witches are doing it.