Apr 18, 2008

Wedding plans


Ha! Fooled you. Not mine, silly goose! But Gia and I are headed out to a wedding celebration tonight at some swanky joint or another. I plan on looking just as suave as the gentleman up there in the pic, but you know...hairier.

We did have a little spat about it. I didn't want to go initially because we really aren't friends with the couple and I couldn't understand why we were invited. Well, there is one reason. People love Gia! And they want to be around her. I can TOTALLY understand that!

So I bitched and moaned about going, and she said she was more than willing to go to it alone since her sister and her parents were going. I, or course, would have none of that so I told her I would go. Then, just kidding around, Gia mentioned earlier this week that she wishes she hadn't replied "yes" to the invite because she didn't really wanna go. I think I burst a blood vessel in my brain when she said that. We fought again....I apologized again. Stupid me.

So we shall celebrate tonight. Here is what I will and will not do:

  • a I will drink my silly face off. Maybe I will have the bartender make me some delicious martinis.
  • x I will not do any "group dances" like the chicken dance, the macarena, the electric slide or whatever the new happening dance might be nowadays.
  • a I will slow dance with Gia anytime she wants. Maybe dry-hump her a bit in the process.
  • x I will not order the fish. Who does, really?
  • a I will run to the bar to check results on the Yankee game. I'm not dead people!
  • x I will not hit on any bridesmaids. Sorry gals, this gem is taken.
  • a I will laugh away a few pounds. Because not only is Gia hilarious, but the rest of her family is pretty funny too! And seriously, I could use to lose a few. :(
  • x I will not, under any circumstance, get so drunk that I start waving my penis around as a desperate call for attention. I'll wait until we get home for that.
PS - The new template doesn't seem to like bullet points, so I had to add them myself. Pain in the rear end! Harumph!

16 comments:

Slyde said...

It might just be me, but it sounds like you apologize alot...

you never apologized to me when we were dating...

Elise said...

Yeah Gia sounds like she's a socialble, lovable person...

Why don't you guys have a quickie in the bathroom! Thats not on your list at all, and it'll probably perk up your night ;) xx

B.E. Earl said...

Slyde - that's because it was always you who was in the wrong.

Elise - Great idea! Planning ahead is always the key! ;)

Ginormous Boobs said...

I totally want to hang with you guys!

Steph said...

Go here and ask this guy how to tweak your template to include bullets. He knows everything and is really a great guy.

i am the diva said...

YEAH! QUICKIE IN THE BATHROOM!!

Good luck, Earl. May the forks be with you.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

this looks a lot less homosexual of a layout.

so why wont you be waving your penis about? i thought that's what you were supposed to do at weddings...it's like a wish of good luck!

B.E. Earl said...

G-boobs - same here with you and Tabbie!

Steph - Thanks! I've been there before I think.

Diva - sounds like a plan.

Tequila - Well, if it means good luck... ;)

white rabbit said...

I'm sure you wouldn't dream of it but - for the benefit of the less fastidious, a bit of wedding etiquette...

On no account pork the bride/groom/both. It goes down very badly (so to speak).

Hope this is helpful.

B.E. Earl said...

White Rabbit - could be seen as tacky, eh? Check!

bobgirrl said...

God, I fucking hate weddings. The chicken dance alone is enough to dictate that if you must get married, you should do it at city hall.

elizabeth said...

You totally had me for a second there... my eyesies got WIDE.

Have fun.

Artful Kisser said...

Hope you had fun! And I like the blue! Gonna take me forever to update my template...

B.E. Earl said...

bobgirrl - City Hall or Vegas sounds like a good option to me.

Liz - someone had to fall for it.

Artful Kisser - still not sold on the template...I may mess around with it a bit more one of these days.

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B.E. Earl said...

Spam...nice!