May 22, 2009

Walker told me


Of course everyone has seen that clip or a mashup of that clip by now. Still funny after all these years. It just got me wondering what other bad news Walker might have delivered at some point or another.

Lou Gehrig - "Walker told me I have Lou Gehrig's disease. I should have seen that coming."

Michael Vick - "Walker told me I am being sent to Hell when I die and Satan is a pitbull. Fuck my life."

The Octomom - "Walker told me that one of my kids is gonna kill me someday. It's like a Greek tragedy. Starring Chuck Norris as the Oracle."

Ryan Seacrest - "Walker told me that I was gay.  But I think he misunderstood me when I asked to him if I could give him a hand job.  I meant as a hand model, um, on my show.  Sheesh!"

Rush Limbaugh - "Walker told me I was an asshole.  He obviously wasn't the first."

President Barack Obama - "Walker told me about all the hard times I would face as the leader of our great nation.  The war on terror, the slumping economy, our nation's diminished role on the world stage.  Then he told me he was gonna endorse Huckabee for President.  Phew!"

Alex Rodriguez - "Walker told me that I would be outed by Selena Roberts as a steroids user.  But I was too busy kissing myself in the mirror to really give a damn."

Paris Hilton - "Walker told me that I'm a no-talent, slack-eyed, loser of a whore.  That's hot!"

Donald Trump - "Walker told me that my hair looks ridiculous.  Hello, pot!  This is the kettle.  You're black!"

And finally,

Slyde - "Walker told me that I've always had a secret man-crush on Earl.  I told him that if loving Earl is wrong, then I don't wanna be right! Wooo-gaaah!!!"

________________________________________________________

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Chuck Norris doesn't just take the quiz, he knocks it on it's ass with a roundhouse kick.

19 comments:

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

wait, your missing the best part of chuck norris: the jokes---


When Chuck Norris does push ups the earth goes down.

and so forth, i know a million of them . . . . .:)

B.E. Earl said...

Holly - I decided to go a different way with it, since the Chuck Norris jokes have all been covered. Many times. I even did one of them in my trivia note at the bottom. See?

Wil said...

So Walker took him out for ride and made a man out of him? Wow.

Wil Harrison.com

Avitable said...

I love that clip. It's so ridiculous.

2abes said...

"Walker to told me to read Earls Blog today" Glad I listened.

Michelle said...

I like the Donald Trump one!

FUNNY SHIT!!

HAPPY WEEKEND TO YOU GREEN MAN!!!

Always Home and Uncool said...

Well, I'll be damned!

That black ranger on Walker always seemed like he had found his way on the set from the wrong show.

Good laughs, BE.

B.E. Earl said...

Wil - Is Haley Joel Osment a man yet?

Avitable - the mash-ups are funny too, but the clip itself is priceless.

2abes - that is bad news! ;)

Michelle - Happy Weekend to you as well!

Uncool - Trivette, right? I preferred his work in Die Hard and Matlock. Matlock and Walker should have teamed up.

Dr Zibbs said...

Hahhaa - somebody needs to make a cartoon called "The Adventures of Earl and Slyde"

Also, I saw that Walker clip recently with the Send Off Keyboard Cat. Hilarious!

Jennifer and Sandi said...

I liked him way better when he raced our Scarab's at Wellcraft!



http://mntxconnection.blogspot.com/2008/03/chuck-norris-i.html


Have a SUPER HOLIDAY WEEKEND!

- Jennifer

Heff said...

I thought the joke was gonna be that Haley Joel Osment was a "little visitor". Why ? Does he only show up for women once a month ?

limpy99 said...

Walker told me that Bruce Willis is a ghost in "The Sixth Sense". Prick.

B.E. Earl said...

Zibbs - you seem like the artistic type. I nominate you!

Jenn - that Walker, he gets around.

Heff - I think you need to watch the entire episode to get clarification on that.

Limpy - HE'S A GHOST?!? wtf!

Faiqa said...

Walker told me that I wasn't going to add anything of value to your comments section today. Walker obviously reads a lot the comments I leave here.

Slyde said...

walker told me that you had nothing really to write about today...

savannah said...

who is walker, sugar? xoxox

have a great weekeknd!

B.E. Earl said...

Faiqa - C'mon now!

Slyde - do I ever?

Savannah - The bringer of death, shugah! ;)

pure evyl said...

Walker told me not to comment but what the fuck.

B.E. Earl said...

Evyl - Walker is a summbitch like that.