Boring Sandwiches Suck!

There are few things that give me as much joy on a day-to-day basis as a really good sandwich. I'll travel miles to find the perfect sandwich shop. A place that takes sandwiches as seriously as I do. Because making and eating sandwiches are not responsibilities I take lightly. When I make my own sandwich, there is no such thing as half-ass. Go big or go home, I always say.

Even a plain-old BLT or tuna fish sandwich can be jazzed up to the point where they become something special. Something transcendent. But you have to be careful. You can't overdo it. You have to be subtle. And if you can't be subtle, then you have to do something unexpected. Yeah. I like that.

Earl's Chipotle-Cajun BLT Sandwich

• Fresh kaiser roll
• High-quality, double-smoked, thick-cut bacon
• Pickled green tomatoes
• Iceburg lettuce
• Chipotle cheddar cheese
• Cajun-style remoulade

OK, this isn't too subtle, but it works.  And all you BLT purists out there who say that cheese doesn't belong anywhere near a BLT...well, you might have a point.  But we had the chipotle cheddar in the fridge and I just thought it would go well on the sandwich.  Now normally I like my BLT on toasted white or rye bread, but I wasn't making a traditional BLT here.  So a bakery-fresh kaiser roll seemed like the way to go.

The one thing you really can't skimp on here is the bacon.  Sure, all bacon is good.  But when you get your hands on some really good thick-cut bacon, you'll never want to go back to Oscar Meyer.  The pickled green tomatoes may seem like an odd choice, but the sour bite of these bad boys compliments the smoky bacon and chipotle cheddar perfectly.  Then I topped it off with a store-bought cajun-style remoulade instead of regular mayonnaise.  Perfection.

Earl's Tangy Tuna Fish Sandwich

• Two slices toasted sourdough sandwich bread
• 1 large can of chunk-light tuna
• 1 tablespoon white vinegar
• 2 heaping tablespoons mayo
• 1 dill pickle, diced
• 2 pickled red chilis, diced
• A pinch of white pepper 

I hate a boring tuna salad sandwich.  Some people will just open a can (or packet) of tuna, mix it with some mayo and slap on a boring piece of bread.  Fuck that!  First off, the bread for this sandwich is of the utmost importance.  You simply have to have some good bread for a tuna sandwich.  I like rye and whole wheat, but for me nothing can beat some nice sourdough for a tuna sammy.  And you have to toast it.  That's a deal breaker right there.  Lightly toasted to a golden brown.

For the tuna itself, you can use fancy albacore.  I guess.  But I always thought the cheaper stuff just tasted better, so call me bourgeois. Regular Hellman's mayo works just fine, but ever since I was a little kid I've added a little bit of vinegar to my tuna salad.  I've got a bit of a sour tooth, if you haven't noticed.  Then I add a diced dill pickle and some diced up pickled red chilis that we have in the fridge.  You can use pickled jalepenos or really any other pickled peppers you can find.  Just something to give the tuna salad a little heat.  Speaking of heat, that's why I use white pepper instead of black pepper.  I find it to be a little spicier.

There you have it.  Two non-standard versions of two standard everyday sandwiches.  

There really is no excuse for going half-ass on a sandwich.  Unless, of course, you are making it for someone you hate.

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Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Dagwood's got nothing on me!