Apr 19, 2010

Back from the Low Country

Because you obviously care what I’ve been up to, I’m going to grace you with a quick recap of my past week in Charleston, SC. Make sure that you pay rapt attention to my itinerary. There will be a quiz.

So I decided to travel to Charleston via train. Sure, flying is quicker and easier. But I really hate it. Not the actual flying, mind you. Once the plane is on the runway and 1st in line to depart, I’m fine. It’s everything leading up to that moment that I hate. Getting to the airport, waiting on line at security, waiting to board the plane, and waiting on the runway…especially waiting on the runway. I don’t know if you’ve ever flown out of LaGuardia Airport, but it’s one of those really awful circles of Hell that Dante wrote about. The whole process drives me bananas. B, A, N, A, N, A, S.

Even the measly 2-hour flight down to Chucktown winds up wasting an entire day of travel, or so it seems. So I figured why not travel in comfort on the train even if it takes 12 hours? I was able to get some work done, watch two movies and catch around 3 hours of decent snooze time. Win, win and big fucking win.

Once down in Charleston, we did the usual. Eat, drink and be merry. Went to a Charleston Riverdogs game (they are a NY Yankee minor-league baseball team), lounged by the pool, fried on the beach, searched for the perfect hot dog (found it!) and worked on that life-long vendetta I have against my liver. I think I’m gaining ground on that sucker.

I’m writing this on the train ride back. Business Class is the way to go. Outlets to charge my laptop and phone, steps away from the café car and more than enough room for my large body to stretch out and relax. I don’t have any movies to watch on the way home. Perhaps I should have thought of that. But I did bring one of the books from my Hugo list, if I feel like accomplishing something. Right now, vegging away with my headphones on seems to be the order of the day. But it’s gonna be a long ride, so who knows?

Oooh…I had a little squabble on the ride down with one of the other train passengers. Old crazy lady sitting across the aisle from me. She pretty much annoyed everyone on the train, so I tried leaving my headphones on to drown her out. Then she attempted to fall asleep just when I got a business call. She started yelling at me almost immediately. “Excuse me! I can hear every word you are saying! Some of us are trying to sleep!” Shit like that.

I ignored her even though she was being incredibly rude the entire time I was on the phone. Then I gave it to her. Rude? How about squawking at me while I’m trying to get some work done? I told her if she wanted to sleep she should have arranged for a sleeper car, but since we were in Business Class, I was going to have to occasionally use my phone for fucking business reasons. I got a high-five from the porter who was working our car for that one. She had been annoying him since Philadelphia with her inane requests.

My conversation with her didn’t seem to help. She spent the rest of the ride yelling at the lady behind me who was also working and on the phone. She even tried to get some sympathy from me, claiming that she hadn’t had any sleep the night before. I told her that wasn’t my problem, asked her to never speak to me again and I put my headphones back on. Crazy old bitty.

So what’s been going on with you?

UPDATE - The ride home wasn't nearly as pleasant as the ride out.  More on that another time if I have the energy.
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Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Love the choo-choo...mostly.

10 comments:

Avitable said...

I've never ridden in a train for more than a half hour, but it's one of those things that I could see being a fun experience if done right.

2abes said...

I lothe taking the train to manhattan, I could not imagine a longer ride. How long is a train ride to SC? Way to go torturing someone grandma....

Water Logged Canine said...

Welcome back! Normally, I would say welcome home, but home isn't always an easy concept. Glad you made it through unscathed. Sorry that gran-mama was giving you such a hard time, her bush probably starts above her belly-button.

RW said...

I think, after this experience on the train, I'd rather have been on a plane?

It sounds like you traded something you didn't like for something you had to put up with.

Kate said...

Bananas.
B.A.N.A.N.A.S.
How'd I do?

And hey, what's your beef with your liver anyhoo? It doesn't have a problem with you. At least not right now.. but what out, those bastards have a way of getting back at you, I hear!

I think it's cool you took the train, too. Fuck sitting on the runways, and getting searched for weapons. Trains.. so Harry Potter of you!

Slyde said...

Admit it.

"searched for the perfect hot dog" was your not-so-witty euphamism for "looking for a gay sex hookup".....

Heff said...

People in the South CRAZY ? IMPOSSIBLE.

B.E. Earl said...

Avitable - The way down was awesome, but on the way home the engine malfunctioned and we sat at the Washington DC station for about 2.5 hours. Sucked!

2abes - It was around 12 hours. Not bad if you can keep yourself occupied or if you can sleep.

Doggie - It's good to be back wherever I am. Huh?

RW - Actually, I genuinely like train travel. It's people that suck.

Kate - So very very Harry Potter. ;)

Slyde - You know me so well...

Heff - Except I believe she was a NYer. We deal in crazy too, ya know.

sybil law said...

That crazy old bitch would've gotten it from me, too. Manipulative old lady... ugh!
Sounds like your trip was awesome, though. Yay!

B.E. Earl said...

Sybil - The crazy drunk bitch on the ride home gave her a run for her money.