Jul 26, 2010

Soft Rock

Whatever happened to rock and roll tough guys?

The other night, The Kings of Leon had to cancel a concert after only three songs because a pigeon accidentally pooped in bassist Jared Followill's mouth. I say "accidentally", but I don't know. Maybe it was a critique of some sort. Either way, they were disgusted and they stopped the show, apologized to fans on Twitter and offered refunds to everyone.

The official line from the band was that conditions were "too unsanitary" to continue. Tell that to Ozzy. He'd bite the head off of a freakin' bat just to get the crowd warmed up a little. But canceling a gig just because of a pigeon pooping on you? Even if some got in your mouth? That's just a limp dick reaction right there.

Well the Kings have been there before. Limp dick territory, I mean. Even wrote a song* about it. Like to hear a little of it, well it goes a little something like this...


Soft
by The Kings of Leon

I used to see you every day
Used to see you every day
I danced around your folk and soul
I danced to all your fucking soul
I left you with your nose a bleedin
And your toes creepin' around
Ahhh so mundane and incomplete
Hand me down my pants and get me off this street

I'm passed out in your garden,

I'm in I can't get off im so soft
I'd pop myself in your body,
I'd come into your party but I'm soft

Behind the fringe of a whiskey high

Mutilating cat like eyes,
And in your nose blood decadence
You try to drag me into your bohemian dancing
You paint my fingers and you paint my toes,
You let your perfect nipple show

I'm passed out in your garden,

I'm in I can't get off im so soft
I'd pop myself in your body,
I'd come into your party but I'm soft

But, I'm Soft.


I'm passed out in your garden,

I'm in I can't get out im so soft
I'd pop myself in your body,
I'd come all over your party but I'm soft

I'm passed out in your garden,

I'm in I can't get out im so soft
I'd pop myself in your body,
I'd come all over your party but I'm soft

*Supposedly written about a case of whiskey-dick affecting one of the Hollowill brothers after an epic night of excess.  Maybe even with super-model Kate Moss.  I'd probably have issues getting it going with Kate Moss too.  Chick's built like a 12-year old boy.  And despite the obvious comment coming from Slyde, I ain't into 12-year old boys.  Dig?
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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. I kid the KoL because I dig.

13 comments:

Slyde said...

You're not into 16 year old boys?

quitting cold turkey, or are you taking it slow....

RW said...

Yeah not much room for varying up the interpretation there. Unless he's planting those grass plugs and doesn't have the right stick.

The song COULD be about putting those grass plugs in the ground. Couldn't it?

sybil law said...

They are complete limp dicked pansies. When I read about that, I just couldn't hide my disgust. At least everyone's getting full refunds.

Kate said...

What the? Lame in oh so many ways....

Mrs. Hall said...

Ok. Until i read your interpretation, it would have never dawned on me the real meaning. I thought maybe it was about his being shy. Yeah.....I'm a little slow on the uptake.

Like that one Depeche Mode song-Taking a ride with my best friend-I thought it was about an actual car ride.

Yeah. Little slow :)

But i wouldcancel a show if birds were pooping on me:)

B.E. Earl said...

Slyde - See? Obvious. And it was 12-year olds, dude.

RW - I'd say I'd prefer that it were, but I actually dig that they wrote a song about whiskey dick. I like that they can laugh about themselves like that.

Sybil - I know, right! (You have to say that in a squeaky 8-year old girl voice. I spent Sunday with my niece and that's all she said all day long)

Kate - Extremely lame!

Holly - It's not "my" interpretation...they admit that's what the song is about. And they way that they sing it, "I'd come all over your party" sounds more like "I'd come all over your body", so...

Heff said...

The rock n roll tough guys are on MY BLOG, LMAO !!

B.E. Earl said...

Heff - Hell to the yeah! Butlik!!!

Mrs. Hall said...

jeez. i meant to say, their backstory to the song ok? but, the way they sing it sounds all mumbly, I must bet getting old, but I want a rock band that puts emphasis and inflections in their music.

or. I could watch the video somewhere other than my phone 'cause maybe I was not hearing it right.

B.E. Earl said...

Holly - No, they are mumbly. Part of their charm. Hey, Bob Dylan was mumbly. Turned out okay for him.

Mrs. Hall said...

ok. i'll give it up for Bob, but I mean. iffn you go to the trouble of forming your own rock band and you go to the trouble of writing songs about whisky dick, then for the love of christ, sing it so I understand it.

that way, I can sing along.

otherwise, GIT OFF MY LAWN!

Nej said...

They canceled because of pigeon poo?

Pansies!

Bruce said...

For me, Rock and Roll pretty much ended with the 'Clash'. Everything else since has been medicore.