I know it might be hard to believe from our semi-anonymous relationship here in East Blogistan, but I have some flaws.
Shocking, I know.
Depending on your own point of view, one of my biggest flaws could be that I constantly use the word "retard". You might do the same and think that it's not that big of a deal. Or you could be sitting there in your sexy lingerie (that's how I picture you all) absolutely disgusted with me. Or maybe you just briefly paused while pleasuring yourself to these words to contemplate the issue. I understand.
And I've done my fair share of making fun of the mentally handicapped, I'm semi-ashamed to say. I was in a bowling league several years ago (The Dude can roll), and one of the teams had a woman who we found out was mentally challenged. I say "found out" because we just thought she was really ugly and stupid at first. Mean, right? I caught one of my buddies staring at her one night, and I asked him what was up. He looks at me and says "Do you think that, around 20 years ago, she looked in the mirror and just said 'Fuck it!'?" I almost spit my beer in his face, I was laughing so hard. And that was before we found out she was retarded.
She also wore the same Tweety Bird t-shirt every bowling night. Hell, she could have worn it every day for all we knew. And it seems that the silly t-shirt should be a dead giveaway to being retarded. There's a retarded woman who works at our local supermarket. Today she was wearing a red Heinz ketchup t-shirt that read: "I like ketchup on my ketchup". I smiled, and then I couldn't help but saying the phrase over and over in my head the way she would have said it out loud.
You're doing it right now, aren't you? If you are, then I embrace you as one of ME. If not, then I'm sorry.
I have flaws.