They don't make 'em like they used to

Ballplayers, I mean. They certainly don't name 'em like they used to. Three-Finger Brown, Snuffy Stirnweiss, Burleigh Grimes, Henie Manush, Nap Lajoie, Rube Waddell, Dizzy Dean, etc... THOSE were baseball names. Now we got A-Rod and K-Rod and XYZ-Rod. I dunno.

But I was looking at some old pictures on Baseball-Reference last night and some of these guys had the map of the world etched on their faces.

Honus Wagner, 1897-1917, shortstop

photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

Look at that guy!  Crooked face, huge nose, protruding ears and ham-hocks for hands.  THAT was a ballplayer, right there!  Helps that the Flying Dutchman, as he was called, was probably the best shortstop ever to play the game.  He may not have looked pretty, but some people used some pretty words to describe his play.  "Nobody ever saw anything graceful or picturesque about Wagner on the diamond. His movements have been likened to the gambols of a caracoling elephant. He is ungainly and so bowlegged that when he runs his limbs seem to be moving in a circle after the fashion of a propeller. But he can run like the wind." - New York American (November 19, 1907)

Hack Wilson, 1923-1934, outfielder

photo credit: Wikimedia Comons

I don't think there has been another player who every played the game who looked like Hack Wilson.  5'6" of pure alcohol-driven fury.  He looked like a fire hydrant or a keg of beer resting on two legs.  He had a massive (for the time) 18" neck while wearing size 6 shoes.  But he could hit.  Especially in 1930 when he drove in a record 191 runs for the Cubbies.  Hack, an infamous drinker, was one of the inspirations for Tom Hanks' character in A League of Their Own.  "I never played drunk. Hung over, yes, but never drunk." - Hack Wilson.

Grover Cleveland "Old Pete" Alexander, 1911-1930, pitcher

photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

There's Old Pete in his prime.  Looks older than your grandfather.  And your grandfather has been dead for 25 years.  That was Grover Cleveland Alexander.  But he was harder than a coffin nail.  He spent most of 1918 in France in WWI as an artillery officer.  Came back with a case of shell shock, a loss of hearing and he was prone to seizures.  So he compensated by drinking even more than he did before he went to war.  In 1926 he was 39 and looking like 89.  And his team, the Cubs, were tired of his drinking and insubordination.  So they sold him to St. Louis who went on to win the NL pennant.  And the old man shined in the World Series that year.  He pitched 2 complete game victories over Babe Ruth's Yankees in games 2 and 6.  And then, most likely still drunk from the celebration the night before, he came into game 7 in relief and finished up the game and finished off the Yankees for the Series title.  After the major leagues were done with him at age 43, he went on to pitch for the House of David (you really should click that link) until 1938 before his hard drinking eventually killed him in 1950. "What do you want me to do? Let those sons of bitches stand up there and think on my time." - Old Pete Alexander.

Now what do we got:  This?

photo credit: Details Magazine

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. A-Rod...more like Gay-Rod!  But, ahem, go Yankees!!!