Oct 16, 2013

Day 16: House at the End of the Street (2012)

Can a once-prolific blogger who hasn't written 31 posts all year find it in his soul to review 31 previously unseen horror films in 31 days of October? Let's find out...
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For some reason, I thought this was a remake of a horror film from the 1970s. Turns out I was thinking of Last House on the Left, which was Wes Craven's first film that was remade in 2009. Nope...this is an original (hmmm?) horror film starring Jennifer Lawrence. I had no idea. It's been sitting there on my Netflix Instant queue, waiting for me for months. Let's remedy this situation right now!

Newly divorced Elizabeth Shue and her daughter, Lawrence, move to a beautiful new home in a wooded area that just happens to be right next door to a house where a double-murder occurred several years before. And the killer was never caught. Just ran off into the woods where the town assumed she died in a river or something. That's why the house is so inexpensive. I'm sure this is going to turn out okay for them. Things like that usually do in horror films.

It's not too long before our young heroine is walking home in the rain in the dark and she accepts a ride home from the killer's brother who is supposedly living alone in his family's home. Because, sure...not creepy at all. And right after nearly getting raped by the supposed "nice guy" in town. She's an entire smorgasbord of great decisions at this point.

As it turns out, the young woman who we think killed her parents is locked in the basement of her home being cared for by her oh-so-not-creepy brother. He makes her chicken soup and shoots her up with sedatives. Not so bad if you ask me. He explains that she suffered some brain damage when she was very young while he was playing with her and their parents were getting high on crack or something inside. Lots of ways this film can go from here, right?

Except there's not. You'll see the big twist coming from about a million miles away. At least I hope you will. Or maybe you'll read this review and you won't. God, I hope you read this review and you won't. And there was still like a half-hour of crappy movie left after it was (derp), revealed!

Just think, Jennifer Lawrence did this crap-fest, Silver Linings Playbook and The Hunger Games. All released in 2012. One of these things...is not like the other. One of these things just isn't the same.

This was terrible.

Verdant Dude rating: 0.5 out of 5 pumpkins (half a pumpkin for Jennifer Lawrence, who should have known better)

2 comments:

Poppy said...

I thought that movie was great, no idea why.

B.E. Earl said...

Poppy - Again, different strokes. I thought it was obvious and silly.