Okay, I'm gonna be honest here. I picked this one because it features a late-career Val Kilmer, and because I'm more than a little drunk. This may or may not affect my review of this film. (Psst...it may)
First things first. I watched this on Netflix Instant and realized that I had started watching it several months ago and stopped watching it after 3 minutes. Basically after the opening credits ran. This is not a good sign. Not at all.
VAL KILMER IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!
Sorry...I'm gonna try not to let that happen again. Much.
A stranger walks into a police station and says he's guilty of murder. Stay with me. This is gonna be HI-larious. He looks glorious, by the way. With his big puffy face and his long luxurious locks. It's like I'm looking in a mirror and Val Kilmer is looking back at me.
VAL FUCKING KILMER!!!
Again...sorry. I said I was more than a little drunk.
Wow. I'm thinking this movie cost about $20 to make. It all takes place in and around a prison during a rain storm. Maybe they had to produce the rain. That might cost some extra bucks. Maybe not. I'm not a fucking movie producer.
Holy shit...this crap has almost an hour left in it. And Val Kilmer hasn't really killed anyone yet. That I know about. He sure as shit killed my buzz. Did I mention that I was drinking?
Whatever...what follows is the silliest fucking movie you've ever seen.
EVEN IF VAL FUCKING KILMER WAS IN IT!!!
Verdant Dude rating: 0.5 out of 5 pumpkins