Atuk the Killer!

Have any of you heard of this cursed screenplay that is out there, killing the World's Best Overweight Comic Actors? It's called Atuk, and it's a fish out of water story about an Eskimo man trying to adapt to life in the big city. Sounds hi-larious! (sarcasm alert).

First it killed John Belushi in 1982. Belushi loved the screenplay and had agreed to play the lead character in the film. The screenplay decided otherwise. A sketchy drug overdose later, and the screenplay had started to develop a taste for blood.

Then it killed Sam Kinison in 1992. Kinison actually got as far as filming one scene for the film, but he decided he wanted to live so he quit. The screenplay pointed it's skeletal finger of death at him anyway and killed him in a car accident.

Then John Candy was approached for the role of Atuk in 1994. You can see where this is going. Yup...the screenplay induced a heart attack for the big man in March of that very year. I'm sure it had nothing to do with his immense size and his family's history of heart disease. Nah. It was the killer script.

The last (to date) victim of the Atuk curse was Chris Farley in 1997. He was just about to accept the lead role in the film when the screenplay nudged him into a drug overdose. Just like his hero, Belushi. That, my friends, is how this screenplay prefers it's irony, I tell you.

An additional victim just might be Phil Hartman, who Farley showed the screenplay to (major fail!) for a supporting role. This time the screenplay used Hartman's wife to kill him. That's just cold, man!


Oh, totally un-related but this one is for The Diva. She once tried compiling all the different phrases for vagina. Someone took care of it all for her right here. You are most welcome.

Random Wiki: Grobbendonk is a municipality in the Antwerp region of Belgium. Why they would name it after some monster from a faerie tale is beyond me. I once had a nightmare where a Grobbendonk lived under my bed and taunted me in Flemish. Brrrr. Chills.