Aug 18, 2008

The Meat Hierarchy

Over dinner the other night, we started to discuss how much we love meat and how much we love animals.

The two loves that really don't go great together.

Denis Leary used to do a bit about deciding which animals are fine to kill and which animals need to be spared. I remember it was because of people complaining about killing dolphins when fishing for tuna. Why don't we care about the tuna? Fuck them, they taste good! And otters swim on their backs and do cute human things with their hands, so they get to live. Cows? Fuck them! Get on the truck...you're a baseball glove! Stuff like that.

My personal meat hierarchy probably looks a little something like this:

  1. Beef - The King of all meat, if you will. Nothing better than a hamburger to make me feel like the apex predator that I am. Steak, oh glorious steak! How I love thee! And yet the cow appears to be such a noble animal. Big, bright eyes. Nice teats! Too bad you taste so good. I almost feel guilty eating you. Almost.
  2. Pork - Ribs, bacon, ham, sausage. Nothing bad about swine. And that curly little tail? So cute I could eat it! Wait...what was that in my hot dog?
  3. Chicken/Turkey - I don't feel guilty at all about my chicken salad sandwich. Not one bit. Probably because I hate birds. What with thinking they are better me and all by flying overhead. Wait! Do chickens and turkeys fly? Who cares...pass the hot wings!
  4. Lamb - Have you ever gone to a petting farm and seen a cute little lamb that looks so innocent that you wanted to take it home and keep it as a pet? Me neither. They taste too good on some pita bread with a little yogurt sauce.
  5. Fish - My last choice when it comes to ordering an entree. Don't get me wrong, I love sushi and fish tacos and ceviche. But when it comes to eating out, it's the last place that I look. Good for you fishies. You get to live longer than the rest of the animals.


In all seriousness, we are thinking about giving up red meat for a little while. Just to see if we can do it. I have a hard time reconciling my love of hamburgers with my love of animals. I don't know if we can do it. Beef is such a big part of our diets that it seems impossible. So we haven't decided to do it yet. Not sure if we will.

Anyone else out there who restrict your diets? Or thinking about it? Just curious.

Random Wiki: An alfet was an ancient cauldron filled with boiling water, into which an accused person was to plunge his arm up to his elbow. If hurt, he was held guilty; if not, acquitted. It was also used for purgation. I'm guessing most people were found guilty.

30 comments:

Mrs. Hall said...

I had been a vegetarian for five years at one point. Vegan for two months, but man o man, that takes so much planning.

Then I fell of the wagon after being hit by a car.

A few years later I made best friends with a vegetarian, and I got back on the wagon. But now I fear that friendship is ending.

I knew things were back sliding when I started roasting chickens again.

Good luck

:)

Mrs. Hall

Artful Kisser said...

Good beef and lamb are quite expensive here now, so we've been getting our red meat from kangaroo for about 6 months. In that time I've also cut out dairy and wheat and find the only food I really really crave is a bloody, bloody steak.

Avitable said...

My wife became vegetarian several years ago and only recently started eating chicken again so that she could add a non-fatty protein back into her diet. That's all she eats, though.

Michelle J said...

So, i do not eat red meat or chicken! Ever! I also eat a lot of raw food, but thats a whole other story! I don't think of it as restricting my diet, more along the lines of trying to maintain my health! I'm just saying!!

Seriously, dude i say eat what you crave and feel comfortable eating. If you are going to not eat meat don't think of it as restricting think of it as YES, my body will become the temple of health it is meant to be!!!

Again, i'm just saying!!

RW said...

I've had kangaroo, ostrich, African antelope, buffalo, rabbit, quail and eel. Loved them all. Have no problems eating animals. Any animals. Show me an animal and I'll show you dinner.

But what gets to me is the thought of the first guy to see a pig... imagine seeing this rotund, grunting, smelly thing probably wallowing in its own muck and saying 'MMMMM, THAT'll be good to eat!"

But yeah, loves me pork, so...

B.E. Earl said...

Mrs. Hall - Wow, that's quite the roller coaster you've been on.

AK - Kangaroo, eh? Not to common here in the States.

Avitable - a lot of people married to vegetarians seems to become vegetarians as well (see Pulp Fiction). She has no problem with your carnivore ways?

Michelle - sounds positive. Still not sure I can do it, but thanks.

RDubs - The first person to eat a lobster, or oyster, or clam...I getcha.

Slyde said...

yesterday you show beefcake pictures, then today you are talking about your love of meat.

Just tell us all what you are trying to say, already.....

Avitable said...

None whatsoever. If we eat together, we eat out almost every meal, so it's not a big deal.

B.E. Earl said...

Slyde - You call that Phelps pic beefcake AND you missed the naked lady in the "I Love Meat" picture?

What are YOU trying to say, already...

Avitable - Very cool.

mikeb302000 said...

I'm a vegetarian because I allowed myself to become aware of what the factory farming has to do to produce the volume we consume. I decided not to participate any longer. But, in order to maintain a little hypocricy in my life, I'm resisting becoming vegan.

teeni said...

Wow. That is really cool that you would consider giving up red meat for a while since it is such a big part of your diets. I admire anyone who is willing to challenge themselves that way. I personally have never been a steak lover which is weird because I could have lived on cheeseburgers. Now I eat a lot more veggies and way less meat. I'm trying to use meat more as a condiment and not a necessity in my meals. I just look at other cultures and see that Americans tend to "make the meat the meal" and it seems the other parts of a balanced diet get neglected. Also, I don't agree with mass produced and mass farmed practices. Who knows what they are feeding those animals or how they are treating the crops. I've decided to try to make everything that enters my body have at least some benefit. If I eat less meat, I force myself to eat more of the greens and veggies that have lots of good nutritional value in them. Also, when I do occasionally have meat, I try to make it organic, cruelty-free and grass-fed. That is why I consider myself a VAGUEtarian. I'm not incredibly strict because I have to live and I have to be able to afford my food. But given the choice, that is my reasoning. Okay, so I guess I should have done my own post here. Sorry. **heh**

B.E. Earl said...

MikeB/Teeni - we eat out a lot, and if there were more diversity in food/restaurants around here it would be easier to go veggie. Gia often says she could do it in a heartbeat if we lived in NYC. I dunno...still would be tough for me.

lotus07 said...

"to make me feel like the apex predator that I am."....that made me laugh on a Monday.

I have visions of all these Apex Predators lining up at McDonald's for their Big Mac Fix.

Lets see how long your love of beef lasts once you work in a slaughter house for a day.

downtown guy said...

I'm eating a big plate of fried chicken livers right this second, and it's the best damn thing I've had in weeks. I'll eat any animal I don't know personally.

B.E. Earl said...

Lotus - yeah, the sarcasm was dripping off of that comment. Like blood off of a slaughter house apron! Thanks for noticing. ;)

Downtown Guy - I only do liver in pate. Not. A. Fan.

Paige Stanton said...

One day I made a really great veggie stir fry and thought I could be a vegetarian. The very nexy day I craved a big fat steak. I don't think I could give up meat. I don't really like lamb or veal though and they're just baby animals...they're still cute and then I can't eat them...

B.E. Earl said...

Paige - I tried to stay away from discussing veal, because it is my absolute favorite! And the one that makes me feel the guiltiest.

limpy99 said...

Now I'm hungry, so I'm going to go out and kill and eat a chocolate milkshake.

B.E. Earl said...

Limpy - go for a head shot. Most compassionate.

Mrs. Hall said...

Overall, in terms of meat eating, I have been on both sides of the fence. But now, I am more balanced. My roller coaster is done.

Your path will be different. The important part is that you are seeking it out.

If you need any tips, I am sure we all can give you lots!

:)

Mrs. Hall

pure evyl said...

I am a confirmed carnivore and they will have to pull the bloody steak from my cold dead fingers.

kiki said...

kanagaroo or moose

easily the best meats going around

Chris H said...

I gave up beef a few months ago... I had to eat masses of the bloody stuff to help with anemia.. now I hate it! Give me chook any day! Fish... IIIIKKKKKKKK. Well that's my 2cents worth.

Chris H said...

Some of your comments really made me laugh... and I needed that! TA....

Steph said...

I have the same argument with myself all the time. I was a vegetarian for three years back in the 70s, but in the 80s I discovered that I'm a shameless hedonist.

Life is short and I don't want to spend what time I have on this planet in denying myself pleasure.

I think it's like the saying, "When in Rome..." -- when in body live like a body; when in spirit like like a spirit. I'll be a good vegetarian when I pass beyond this mortal coil.

Mrs. Hall said...

Here's some more 'food' for thought...

My great uncle was a strict vegetarian. Wouldn't even have butter on his toast.

When he died there was a great turnip at his funeral.

(rim shot)

THANKS! I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your waitresses!

:)

Mrs. Hall

B.E. Earl said...

Evyl - I picture me at the end that way too.

Kiki - Never had moose or meese or whatever they are called.

Chris - Thanks for stopping by. What is chook, by the way? Chicken?

Steph - Hedonists rock!

Mrs. Hall - Wow. Awful and wonderful at the same time. ;)

Steph said...

Mrs. Hall: You rock!

(laughing my ass off as I leave...)

Chris H said...

HA I just KNEW you would ask "what is chook"? LOL it is another way of saying chicken mate.

B.E. Earl said...

Chris - That's what I figured. ;)