Dec 6, 2008

Wait, what?

So Uwe Boll is given the reigns of a sword and sorcery film and the producers somehow manage to corral Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, Claire Forlani, Ron Perlman and Matthew Lillard to star in it. Right?

I mean, none of those actors are really top-notch thespians. All of them have been in some pretty bad films. Some of them have been in some pretty great films. But that cast is pretty mind-blowing to me for this type of film.

Yet they all agreed to act in the turd-fest that is In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale a couple of years ago. I've searched long and hard, but this may be the very worst film that has ever been made. And George Lucas wasn't even involved in any way.

Uwe Boll must have compromising pictures of all of these actors in a secure vault someplace. That's the only way that I can explain it. He even managed to get Sir Ben Kingsley to star in BloodRayne.

What.
The.
Fuck.
___________________________________________________

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the Boll-maniacs are doing it.

16 comments:

That damn expat said...

Haven't seen the movie and it will stay that way, thanks to you.

Though I gotta admit I have the tiniest girl crush on Claire Forlani.

Avitable said...

Yeah, I can't figure out why any agent lets their actors star in a Uwe Boll film. He has yet to create anything that isn't a complete pile of shit.

Water Logged Canine said...

Statham rocks! He's been hitting the gym, and looks delicious. Did that read as, "gay?" And is Leelee Sobieski the actress who plays a younger, hotter Helen Hunt? You remember that scene in "As Good As It Gets?" No...silly geese...not the scene where Carol comes in from the rain and both of her chest turkeys are done. I'm talking about the scene where Melvin tosses that dog down the garbage chute. Classic. Woof!

hello haha narf said...

huh? sorry, i got lost in fantasy after you said Jason Statham...

Slyde said...

All UWE does is take successful video games (dungeon siege was an OUTSTANDING game) and turn them into shitty movies.

Both industries (movie and video game) knew this was going to suck for years before it got released..

Slyde said...

p.s. i have a good friend who knows him quite well. He's an asshole, to boot.

B.E. Earl said...

Expat - That's okay. My buddy, the Water Logged Canine, has a bit of a boy crush on Jason Statham. Wonder what he is gonna say bout this post?

Avitable - It is so beyond me.

WLC - There it is! :)

Becky - He is dreamy. Wait, what?

Slyde - Can't your "friend" do something about this guy. Break his back or his skull so he can never make movies ever again?

pure evyl said...

Prepare for an e-mail on this post.

Dr Zibbs said...

LeeLee

Michelle J said...

Jason is kinda hot!! Just googled him! As far as this movie, once again i have no clue!!!

WTF is wrong with me??? I always feel like i should know these things yet i do not!!!

Do you still love me, even a little???

B.E. Earl said...

Evyl - What should I be wearing when I open it up?

Zibbs - a youngish Helen Huntish.

Michelle - No one should know about this movie. It's crap!

Faiqa said...

Oh. Good. You're speaking Mandarin. Again.

B.E. Earl said...

Faiqa - xie xie.

Faiqa said...

You're welcome. :-)

jiggs said...

Well that means that I must find this masterpiece and see it myself.

B.E. Earl said...

Jiggs - Masochist!