Day 21: Last Kind Words (2012)

Can a once-prolific blogger who hasn't written 31 posts all year find it in his soul to review 31 previously unseen horror films in 31 days of October? Let's find out...

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Streaming on Netflix Instant.

There's something about the backwoods of Kentucky, or Tennessee, or West Virginia, or really any place that has backwoods. They creep me the fuck out. I have this theory that there are all kinds of crazy shit that goes on in the backwoods. Like the deepest parts of the ocean, man hasn't fully explored these areas yet. Perfect setting for a horror movie. This one takes place in Kentucky, where a young man and his family have moved to work on a farm.

Brad Dourif plays the man who owns the farm, and if you are familiar with his work than you know that he brings the creep factor up to around eleven. But he's not the main character. That's the shy, abused boy who works the farm with his father and mother. He meets a young woman in the woods who knows a little too much about the hardships he's been through with his abusive father. Oh, and she likes to skinny-dip. Which is nice.

But she's as ghost, which sucks if you're a teenaged boy trying to get your freak on. Ghosts are notoriously hard to get. And fairly insubstantial once you do get them. Pretty much a zero-sum gain. We find out she was the sister of Brad Dourif, and the former childhood crush of the young man's father. I'm counting about four corners in that particular love triangle. Squares and triangles...they don't fit.

I'm getting a little tired of scary movies that aren't scary. This one is definitely not scary. It's atmospheric and kinda well-done, but not scary at all. Ultimately, it really wasn't worth watching.

Verdant Dude rating: 1.5 out of 5 pumpkins