Mar 10, 2010

Cap

There are all kinds of rumors floating around Hollywood these days about who is gonna get cast as Captain America in the next big superhero movie.  Names like Dane Cook or one of the Jonas Brothers.  Or that guy from The Office.  All good (really?) choices.

It really doesn't matter to me who these geniuses choose to play The First Avenger.  There is just no way that Captain America is gonna translate from the wacky world of comic books to your local multiplex.  Sure they did it with Iron Man, right?  But the difference between Cap and Iron Man is that Iron Man always had the potential for looking cool on the big screen.  Cap, on the other hand, wears a ridiculous outfit and throws a shield.  Yeah, he's a bit goofy.  So they should really pick somebody who will embrace Cap's inner goofball.  Someone who can do justice to this theme song:


When Captain America throws his mighty shield,
All those who chose to oppose his shield must yield!
If he's led to a fight and a duel is due,
Then the red and the white and the blue'll come through.
When Captain America throws his mighty shield.

___________________________________________________

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. I'm hoping for Zach Galiafinakis.

18 comments:

RW said...

blue'll

How tortured is that...?

B.E. Earl said...

RW - It hurt just typing it, but that's what they sang. C'mon...rhyming something with duel can't be that difficult? Drool, fool, gruel, Rufus Sewell, etc...

Water Logged Canine said...

Zatch Galafinasky would be perfect, if he woke up this morning and wanted to flush his blossoming career down the toilet.

How about Seth Rogen? He obviously would do it.

Click on my name to see my pick to play Cap.

white rabbit said...

I'd nominate the late Charles Hawtrey. He may be (a) British and (b) dead but no-one's perfect.

http://artfiles.art.com/5/p/LRG/27/2769/17XTD00Z/charles-hawtrey.jpg

He also said that he was sure sex with a woman was very nice but it wasn't the real thing - a line that has a;lways amused me.

Problem solved.

Always Home and Uncool said...

I vote for the newly svelte Avitable.
Or Halle Berry.

Heff said...

They need to go ahead and cast Dane Cook to INSURE the movie will be a shit-pile.

Slyde said...

Sanjaya!

B.E. Earl said...

WLC - She would be better as...nope, I'm not gonna go there.

Wabbit - what's with the America bashing? ;)

Uncool - Avitable would indeed rock as Cappy.

Heff - Dane Cook...I just don't get it.

Slyde - Or you!

sybil law said...

Where do you people hear about these rumors?
I vote Slyde!

Seals said...

I've heard Sam Worthington and Channing Tatum too but I don't know if either of those guys really fit. Neither of those guys are really great actors.

Water Logged Canine said...

Oh c'mon! Don't go pussy on me now...

For which super hero is she better suited?

Channing Tatum woud be great as Captain America. Which reminds me, was Captain America a real douche? Which reminds me...is Dane Cook still alive?

Slyde said...

thx sybil!

i owe you some thank-you sex....

Water Logged Canine said...

Maybe they could get Corey Haim to play him!

TOO SOON?!?!

B.E. Earl said...

Sybil - me too.

Seals - I disagree. Channing Tatum is quite the thespian! /sarcasm

WLC - I won't go there. But Cap is kind of a douchebag, so Channing Tatum might excel.

Slyde - please, I just ate.

WLC - Never too soon.

Paticus said...

I remember watching that cartoon when I was a kid. I think Channel 11 in NY(WPIX?) used to show one of the superhero cartoons every afternoon for awhile: Spiderman was on one day, Iron man another, Captain America, The Incredible Hulk and the Fantastic Four, I think were the others. I don't remember how long it went on. And I think it's obvious that Michael Keaton should play Captain America.Or Nicholas Cage.

B.E. Earl said...

Paticus - Nic Cage should only play him if he gets burned alive in a Wicker Man at the end of the film. Not the bees....not the beeeeeees!!!!

Avitable said...

I actually think if Krasinski (Jim from The Office) bulked up, he could be okay for it. If his hair was a little lighter, he's got that All-American look.

I think it would be better if they picked a no-name actor, and filled the rest of the cast with well-known actors instead.

Bruce said...

Ow...geee, what next? Some guy that dresses up as an all black rodent and terroizes criminals......ow....wait...never mind.