Feb 11, 2008

7 positive things

OK...I've been tagged by this meme a couple of times now. Lives by the Woods started the whole thing and it has spread, viral-style, all over the place. We are supposed to list 7 positive things about our lives. 7 positive things that make us the wonderful beings that we are. So here goes:

  • My sense of direction - I rarely get lost, except for the times that I don't know where I am or where I'm going. Mostly I guide myself by celestial navigation, but that can be difficult at times. Sometimes it's cloudy and I can't see the stars. Oh, and there is a good half of the day when I can't see the stars at all. Then I'm fucked. But usually, if traveling anywhere within a 5-mile radius of my home, I have a terrific sense of direction. Some of the time.
  • My skill at Golden Tee - Video golf games are often the true indicator of one's final stop on the ole' existence train (up there or, you know...). I rule at Golden Tee. Except for that time that I nearly/possibly broke my thumb while attempting a severe right to left fade. Then I had to finish the game lefty. I still ruled, but just slightly less so.
  • My hair - I grow hair at a pretty fast rate, and I think that's a pretty important thing in life. Right now I'm growing it out so I can pull it back into a top knot like the Dude from The Big Lebowski. Far out.
  • My endless knowledge of the trivial - I've often thought that there is a portion of one's brain that is used solely for leading a normal, productive existence. Unfortunately, that part of my brain is filled with crap about movies, music, comic books, Norse mythology and pre-Columbian civilizations. I think it's a positive thing, but those around me are often annoyed. Fuck them!
  • My lower legs - I'm pretty proud of 'em. I've got a pretty shitty outlook on the rest of my body, but my calves rock! Want proof? Just take a peek at my tattoo pic over there to the left. Bam! Try to contain yourselves, ladies (and Slyde)!
  • My regularity - I'm very regular. I crap at least once a day, and I think that is a positive thing. Cleans me out in a great way. Besides the "every day" phenomena, it also usually comes around the same time each day. And usually in the middle of an important phone conversation. Sometimes I hang up and call back, sometimes I bring them into the bathroom with me. It usually smells pretty bad, but I don't think they know that on the other end of the phone. They might be aware of what I'm doing because of the grunting, but I try to cover it by pretending I have Tourette's Syndrome. I think that works well.
  • My dancing skillz - That's right...with a Z! I excel at many different types of dancing. The sprinkler, the Cotton-Eyed Joe, the shopping cart, the lawn mower. It's not just the "white man's overbite" for Earl. I'm the complete package. I even participated at the World Record for dancing to the Macarena while at Yankee Stadium one afternoon. And by participating, I mean I made fun of everyone else who was doing it. The Macarena? Pfft!!! That's dancing for lemmings.
There. 7 positive things about my life. I'm sure there are others like family, friends and blah blah blah, but these are the first 7 things I thought of. I hope this is what Lives By the Woods had in mind. ;)

PS - Gia just reminded me of my cat stomping abilities. I should have included that. What would I do without her?

12 comments:

livesbythewoods said...

Hm, well, thanks for joining in.

Heh.

B.E. Earl said...

LBTW - feel free to include me in any meme if you require any additional wiseass answers. ;)

ajooja said...

You know, the other day you said something not knowing what we had in common. Hell, I could have written all of these except the thing about dancing. It's all "white man's overbite" for me.

B.E. Earl said...

ajooja - The dancing part was a little exaggerated. I can't Tango or anything.

elizabeth said...

Wowsa. Those legs is sexy. Watch out!! (That must be why Slyde loves you)

B.E. Earl said...

Liz - He's more of a buttocks guy, but still...

Kat said...

I'm more a 2 or 3 times a day sort a person. Always have been. But if I visit the grocery store, book store or library it's easily 4. Aren't you glad I shared?

B.E. Earl said...

Kat - So what exactly about the grocery store, book store or library makes you wanna crap? And yes...glad you shared.

jiggs said...

I'm so envious of your crapping.

Elise said...

You know all guys say they have a good sense of direction but i've only ever gotton lost when I'm in the car with a guy.

Girls don't get lost. We ask for directions!

You can do Cotton-Eyed Joe? I'm going to need to see video evidence of that babe.

xx

ps: I don't like Big's hair! Don't do it!

Kat said...

Uncontrollable excitement.

B.E. Earl said...

Jiggs - Don't hate me because I'm regular.

Elise - I can fake it pretty well, and you are just going to have to live with the Dude's hair. It's happening.

Kat - aha.