When Zombies Attack

"When there is no more room in Hell, the Dead shall walk the Earth."

That was the tagline to George Romero's Dawn of the Dead, and an apt starting point to tackle an important psychological question that has haunted humanity for eons.

Where would you go and what would you do when the Zombies attack?

I watched the remake (ha!) of Day of the Dead over the weekend. You could read my review of it here, if you are bored enough or if you are into that kind of thing. I was telling Gia about how truly awful it was when she stated that she never understood why anyone wouldn't want to hang out forever in a shopping mall when the Zombie apocalypse finally arrived. I calmly explained that they didn't WANT to leave the mall in Dawn of the Dead, but circumstances begged to differ. Besides, I'm not so sure that a shopping mall would provide the kind of long-term security needed when facing an evil horde of Zombies.

That led to the above mentioned question. Where would I go and what would I do when the Zombies* attack? That's a tough one. So many possibilities and so many bad choices.

*Just to be clear. We are talking Zombies here. The Undead. Not regular people infected by a virus or anything. But the walking dead. They are slow and they are determined. Their hunger cannot be quenched. The only way to stop them is to destroy their brain somehow. A bullet or a machete seems to be the best way to accomplish that. From my research, anyway.

A prison would probably be a good idea. At first. Fortifications beyond anything in a large apartment building, casino or supermarket. But the lack of natural resources would be a huge downfall. Sure, they probably have enough canned and dry goods stored in the kitchen to last a while, but you would be eating prison food for the rest of your life. That's just fucking bleak!

And we've all seen that the local pub probably isn't a good idea. While they do have entertainment, beer and tasty snacks, the local pub probably doesn't have the necessary security features to keep the Zombies out. And pub darts don't make very good weapons, I'm afraid.

The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks suggests that one of those off-shore drilling platforms would make the most sense. You would be isolated from just about any kind of Zombie attack imaginable. While they can't swim, they can walk underwater since they don't need oxygen to survive. But even if they reached your platform, Zombies are notoriously bad at climbing. You would have plenty of food as fish populations would increase once humanity stopped over harvesting them. And plenty of energy from the oil rig. You would just need a little technical know how. Sounds a bit daunting, if you ask me.

I dunno. That kind of existence sounds almost as bleak as the prison scenario. Frankly, I'm not sure that there is any answer that is ideal. A deserted island, a houseboat, a military bunker, a desert outpost...these are all good ideas. And they all have their drawbacks. So I put the question to you, dear readers.

Where would you go and what would you do when the Zombies attack?


Clicky the picky to make it go biggah! - Earl

EDIT - Some great suggestions, especially the castle idea. That got me to thinking. The White House would be perfect! Great fortifications. Unlimited food stores. Comfortable living. Underground bunker complexes. This place has it all. Unfortunately it has allowed an evil, soulless Zombie through it's doors many, many times over the past 8 years. Gotta work on that. - Earl