Chili Burgers

Yesterday, our own Dr. Zibbs was looking for a good macaroni and cheese recipe. I, being the keeper of all the cool recipes, promptly emailed him mine. Hopefully he likes it. I had made it just the other day to go along with my chili burgers. No, silly. I don't put chili on TOP of my burgers. That's messy. And a waste of good chili.  You bite into it and the chili winds up in your lap.  That's no fucking fun.

No, I put all the ingredients that go into a big batch of chili INSIDE my burger. That's right. Shocking, isn't it? Who would dare tempt the Fates by putting chili ingredients INSIDE a burger?

This guy!  OK, you can't see it from your computer, but I was pointing both my thumbs at my chest when I typed that.  Or right after I typed it.  Yeah.

Earl's Semi-Famous Chili Burgers

• 2 lbs lean ground beef
• 1 medium-sized onion
• 2 or 3 large green chilis
• 4 tbsp tomato paste
• 1 tsp chili powder
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 1/2 tsp ground cayenne pepper

Now you can really add or subtract whatever spices you like here.  You dig on oregeno?  Add some of that shit!  You don't dig on cumin?  Don't add any of that shit! It's your burger.  Do with it what you will.  The above recipe will make 8 quarter pound burgers or you can put on your man-boots and make 'em the way I make 'em.  How is that?  Well, lemme tell ya!

First off, I like to prepare this the day before I eat them.  The spices mix with the meat in the fridge over night and make for a more delicious meal. And we are all about the more delicious meal.  But you don't have to.  This last time I made them I did it all right then and there, and they still tasted great.

Dice up your onion and your green chilis and saute them with some olive oil if you like.  Butter if you prefer.  Cook them up for a few minutes until the onions are nice and translucent.  Then set them aside until they cool to room temperature.  Be sure to drain the excess oil and liquid first.  You don't want your burger to be a liquidy mess, do you?

After the veggies have cooled, you are gonna need a big mixing bowl. Dump the ground meat, the veggies, the...well all the ingredients into it and start mixing. Use a big wooden spoon if you like, but you're eventually gonna have to get your hands dirty so why not start now? Hmmm? Get in there and make sure all the ingredients are folded in with the meat.

Once it all looks uniform and yummy, you can start making your burger patties. I like to take about a quarter pound of the meat mixture and make it into a large flat patty. But these aren't your normal quarter pound burgers, no? Because now we are gonna kick it up a notch. You see, we are gonna stick a slice of cheese on top of that raw patty. Cheddar, American, Monty Jack, whatever. Then you are gonna take another quarter pound patty and make a cheese sandwich outta that sucker. That's right...a slice of cheese INSIDE the burger. Intrigued? I am.

Now you've got a giant half pound burger that is all ready for the grill. Make sure you pinch the circumference of the burger so that it becomes all one patty. Making each half of the burger thin is key so that the burger cooks uniformly. A few minutes on one side, flip it carefully, then a few more minutes on the other side. Whatever temperature you normally prefer for a burger. What do I have to teach you how too cook a burger the way you like it now?

When done right you get a juicy, cheesy, spicy, delicious burger that is unlike anything that you have ever had before. So juicy that it doesn't need ketchup or mayo or mustard or whatever the hell you normally put on a burger. But feel free to fly that freak flag that you own. I topped my with another slice of cheese (hehe), some sliced green pickled tomatoes and some normal red ones.

The result was glorious!  Just be warned.  You may need a nap soon after finishing one of these bad boys.

Now then...what have YOU done for me lately? Hmmm?

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Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Sounds good, doesn't it?