By B.E. Earl
06/12/2006 4:16 PM EST
Hey cowboys and cowgirls! It’s yer old friend Earl here again with a little something for your perusal. I guess it has been a little while, and Slyde’s been bugging me to chip in. I had a few current thoughts on my mind that I was gonna write about, but that all changed due to the rainout of the Yankee/Red Sox game tonight. It’s been raining all day here on Long Island (and in much of the Northeast), and I was in the mood to just hang at home and watch a good movie in my pajamas. The rainout gave me an opportunity for just that.
I had one of five movies in mind for this cold and dreary evening. Five films that I had recently thought about and happened to have on DVD, so I wouldn’t have to bother with a trip to the video store. Snatch was on my list, I guess because of all the recent media surrounding the birth of Brangelina’s baby. Road to Perdition was number two, for really no reason at all other than that I haven’t seen it since first purchasing it on DVD. High Fidelity was also there because I have this odd fascination with all of John Cusack’s films, but I hold this one in a special place of honor. Bull Durham was right in there because, well, I WAS going to spend the evening watching baseball anyway and this is just about my favorite baseball film.
But no, I decided upon my umpteenth viewing of Unforgiven, the last greatest Western ever made. That last part was my own humble opinion, of course. I’ve been a fan of Westerns for a long time and if you had told me back in college that I would someday see a better Western than The Searchers or My Darling Clementine or The Wild Bunch, well I guess I would have told you that you were just plum nuts. But in 1992, Clint Eastwood did what I thought was impossible. Not only did he make a Western as good as those classics, but (once again, IMHO) he surpassed them. Just check out the simple and elegant title card that we viewers were greeted with that set the stage for what was to unfold:
She Was a comely young woman
and not without prospects.
Therefore it was heartbreaking
to her mother that she would
enter into marriage with
William Munny, a known thief
and murderer. A man of
notoriously vicious and
imtemperate disposition.
When she died, it was not at
his hands as her mother might
have expected, but of smallpox.
That was 1878.
What a fantastic way to start a film. “That was 1878.” With that one sentence we are given so much. No long backstory or exposition, just a simple peek into the world that we were just about to immerse ourselves into. From there the story unfolds. Will Munny (Eastwood) has become a pig farmer with two children from his marriage to Claudia. Times are hard, but he works hard at remaining a good man to his family in honor of his dearly departed wife. He has given up drinking, swearing, violence towards animals and killing. His wife had saved him from that life. As we are told time and time again in the next hour or so, “he ain’t like that no more”.
Over in Big Whiskey, Wyoming (what a great name) two cowboys were having some fun with the local whores when one of the young ladies giggles at the size of the teeny gun one of the fellas is packing. He proceeds to cut up her face in a fit of furious rage, and we now have the fuel that drives the rest of the film. Strawberry Alice (a ferocious Frances Fisher) convinces the rest of the whores to combine their savings to hire assassins to kill the two men who cut up poor Deliliah (a thoroughly underrated Anna Levine. I can watch The Crow just for her scenes especially when the Crow tells her that “Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children”. Her reactions were fantastic. Plus she has big cans).
Soon, The Schofield Kid (James Woolvett) comes looking for Will to help him out with the dastardly deed. His uncle had told him stories of Will’s past deeds and told him that he was the meanest son of a bitch he had ever met. Will joins up with the Kid, after convincing Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman), one of his former partners in crime, to accompany them. The town’s Sheriff is Little Bill Daggett (Gene Hackman), a former gunfighter himself who keeps the peace at any cost. The interplay between Bill and those entering his town to break the law drives much of the action for the rest of the film.
But action isn’t really what Unforgiven is all about. It’s about deconstructing some of the myths of the Old West that had previously been portrayed on the silver screen. In some cases by Eastwood himself. The Kid turns out to be a naïve young man who is star-struck at the thought of becoming one of the famous gunfighters that his uncle had told him tales about. When he finally sees how low and dirty the job of killing a man actually is (wonderfully represented by a killing in an outhouse), he finds he doesn’t have the stomach for it.
My favorite character in the film is W.W. Beauchamp (Saul Rubinek), a writer and chronicler of the Old West who has come to town with English Bob (Richard Harris). Bob has heard the tale of the whore’s gold and he has come to town to collect. Before he has a chance at contacting Alice, he is confronted by Bill who, in turn, proceeds to kick the living crap out of him. Beauchamp learns from Bill that English Bob is not the legendary gunslinger of yore, but a drunken coward who is lucky to still be alive.
Two tales are examined here. The Kid wants to know about something his uncle had told him about an incident in Lexington County where Will had killed two deputies who had come to arrest him with guns drawn. Beauchamp wants to know the real story behind the killing of a man named Corcoran by English Bob at the Blue Bottle Saloon. Will won’t or can’t comment on it as he insists he doesn’t remember what happened, although we find out from Ned that there most likely were more deputies than just two. Little Bill is only too happy to let Beauchamp know that Corcoran had done little to deserve being shot by English Bob, and in fact was unarmed at the time of his death because his weapon had backfired.
What is truth? What is myth? These are the answers Eastwood is searching for. Through the outsider’s eyes of Beauchamp, the moviegoer sees the transition from the deception of English Bob to the brutality of Little Bill and finally to the resignation and determination of Will Munny. Where is the honor in any of it? Was there any honor at all? Will Munny was a man just like any other man, he feels. His demons overcame his better angels in his younger days before his wife saved him. It’s only after the vicious and unreasonable killing of his best friend that we see those demons again. But it isn’t legendary skills with guns that lead to his success. It’s determination and luck. Will tells Beauchamp at the end of the film that he’s “always been lucky when it comes to killing folks.”
Will has no hope for redemption. He knows that he can never be forgiven for the things he has done even though he has done the best he could do to change the kind of man he is. When Little Bill utters his last words and tells Will that he will see him in Hell, all Will can do is accept it and respond with a soft-spoken “Yeah” before ending Bill’s life.
Friends often ask me what my favorite movie is. I usually respond that I love so many movies that it would be impossible for me to settle on just one. Every time I see Unforgiven, it becomes easier and easier for me to finally and truthfully answer.
“I guess they had it coming.” – Schofield Kid
“We all have it coming, kid.” – Will Munny
Jun 12, 2006
Jun 10, 2006
A Little T & A
By B.E. Earl
06/10/2006 8:11 AM EST
Hey kids! Sorry to disappoint, but the titular (hehe) T & A don't stand for what you were all hoping for. Nope, here to talk a little more about "T"equila and "A"ction movies.
First off, apologies to Elizabeth. I felt the need to correct her mis-spelling (did I just mis-spell that?) of mezcal on the feedback section of her site. I've explained that correcting folks is really the only chink in an otherwise glorious armor for me. It's a bad habit and I've got to work on it. To make things worse, it turns out that I was wrong to correct her! It can be spelled either way. Mescal or Mezcal. Unlike Liza, because it's Liza with a "z", not Lisa with an "s", because Lisa with an "s" goes "sss", not "zzz".
That being said, I was just going to share with you a little bit about the differences between tequila and mezcal. Because I'm an ass that way.
Tequila, while technically a type of mezcal, is only made from one varietal of agave. The agave tequilana Weber, blue variety or just what we gringos call the blue agave.
Mezcal can be made from any of five varietals of agave, with the most common one being espadin.
They are also distilled differently. Tequila is distilled at least twice while mezcal is distilled only once...giving it a harsher flavor. The agave hearts for tequila are either baked or steamed in above-ground ovens, while they are baked underground over charcoal and covered with palm leaves for mezcal. That's why you may taste a smoky flavor when you are enjoying your mezcal.
If you have never seen what an agave plant looks like, they are similar in appearance to cacti, but they are actually a succulent...like aloe. And they are HUGE! For some reason, I had always assumed they were about the size of a volleyball, but they are bigger than bean bag chairs. Really, really big bean bag chairs.
As for the action movie portion of our program, I was watching The Last Boy Scout the other day when I realized that this is where the evil started for Bruce Willis. Lemme 'splain. I love his films. I especially love when he steps out of character as he did in The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable. Great stuff.
What is that character that he gets to step out of occassionally? Why it's the character he first played in The Last Boy Scout. The former law enforcement type with the heart of gold who has witnessed or experienced some tragedy that has changed him into a world-weary, alcoholic private detective type. You know, the character that he played in Striking Distance or Die Hard: With a Vengeance or Mercury Rising or The Fifth Element or even Hostage and Sin City, to certain degrees.
Al of these films are a bit different, but the Willis character is pretty much the same. I guess John Wayne made a pretty fine living by just playing the Duke during his film career, but I never realized how often Willis has played this guy. The exact details are never the same, but you get the picture.
I wonder if there is a team of monkeys some place in Hollywood behind a door marked "Bruce Willis scripts" just banging away on keyboards. Does Willis even read these scripts or does his agent just sign him up and tell him that he's "you know, playing that guy again?"
That being said, I'm glad to see that John McClane will be back for one more outing as Die Hard 4 is currently in pre-production. Hopefully we will find out that he has gotten back together with his wife or that he has moved on since the last film. We need a little more of the wise-cracking hero we saw in the first two films and a little less of the world-weary alcoholic we saw in the third (and sooo many others!).
06/10/2006 8:11 AM EST
Hey kids! Sorry to disappoint, but the titular (hehe) T & A don't stand for what you were all hoping for. Nope, here to talk a little more about "T"equila and "A"ction movies.
First off, apologies to Elizabeth. I felt the need to correct her mis-spelling (did I just mis-spell that?) of mezcal on the feedback section of her site. I've explained that correcting folks is really the only chink in an otherwise glorious armor for me. It's a bad habit and I've got to work on it. To make things worse, it turns out that I was wrong to correct her! It can be spelled either way. Mescal or Mezcal. Unlike Liza, because it's Liza with a "z", not Lisa with an "s", because Lisa with an "s" goes "sss", not "zzz".
That being said, I was just going to share with you a little bit about the differences between tequila and mezcal. Because I'm an ass that way.
Tequila, while technically a type of mezcal, is only made from one varietal of agave. The agave tequilana Weber, blue variety or just what we gringos call the blue agave.
Mezcal can be made from any of five varietals of agave, with the most common one being espadin.
They are also distilled differently. Tequila is distilled at least twice while mezcal is distilled only once...giving it a harsher flavor. The agave hearts for tequila are either baked or steamed in above-ground ovens, while they are baked underground over charcoal and covered with palm leaves for mezcal. That's why you may taste a smoky flavor when you are enjoying your mezcal.
If you have never seen what an agave plant looks like, they are similar in appearance to cacti, but they are actually a succulent...like aloe. And they are HUGE! For some reason, I had always assumed they were about the size of a volleyball, but they are bigger than bean bag chairs. Really, really big bean bag chairs.
As for the action movie portion of our program, I was watching The Last Boy Scout the other day when I realized that this is where the evil started for Bruce Willis. Lemme 'splain. I love his films. I especially love when he steps out of character as he did in The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable. Great stuff.
What is that character that he gets to step out of occassionally? Why it's the character he first played in The Last Boy Scout. The former law enforcement type with the heart of gold who has witnessed or experienced some tragedy that has changed him into a world-weary, alcoholic private detective type. You know, the character that he played in Striking Distance or Die Hard: With a Vengeance or Mercury Rising or The Fifth Element or even Hostage and Sin City, to certain degrees.
Al of these films are a bit different, but the Willis character is pretty much the same. I guess John Wayne made a pretty fine living by just playing the Duke during his film career, but I never realized how often Willis has played this guy. The exact details are never the same, but you get the picture.
I wonder if there is a team of monkeys some place in Hollywood behind a door marked "Bruce Willis scripts" just banging away on keyboards. Does Willis even read these scripts or does his agent just sign him up and tell him that he's "you know, playing that guy again?"
That being said, I'm glad to see that John McClane will be back for one more outing as Die Hard 4 is currently in pre-production. Hopefully we will find out that he has gotten back together with his wife or that he has moved on since the last film. We need a little more of the wise-cracking hero we saw in the first two films and a little less of the world-weary alcoholic we saw in the third (and sooo many others!).
May 12, 2006
I Knew Someone Was Reading
By B.E. Earl
05/12/2006 11:00 PM EST
Hey kids! Earl here again, while Slyde is vacationing. There is a new show on CBS that I've become a fan of in recent days. It's called How I Met Your Mother and I started watching because I've had this little crush on Alyson Hannigan ever since I started watching Buffy a few years back. It's a harmless bit o' fluffy TV sitcom made watchable mostly by the hilarious turn of Neil Patrick Harris as the suited-up Barney. Funny stuff.
But check out this fishy bit o' dialogue that was used in this past week's episode. The main character, Ted, is bemoaning the fact that he is single because he is too picky with women. He wants the perfect woman, and he goes into deep detail about the type of woman she is. He finishes it up with the following:
Ted: "And she plays bass guitar like Kim Deal from The Pixies."
Marshall: "Or Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth."
Ted: "Any Kim from any cool band, really. Cant' be too picky."
Whoa, whoa, whoa...doesn't that sound a little familiar? Let me refresh your memory from a post of mine back on March 31, 2006. The topic was Sonic Youth and Pauley Perrette , but I originally started the whole thing by talking about Kim Director when I wrote this:
B.E. Earl: "Some of my favorite all-time women have been named “Kim”. Kim Deal from The Pixies, Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth, and I could go on."
Am I being ripped off here by the writers of a major TV show? What the hell! Where is my royalty check?
Actually, the chances that anyone who was a fan of that type of music back in the day were probably fans of both The Pixies and Sonic Youth, and if they were male they most likely had a bit of a thing for the aforementioned Kims. Still, I thought it funny and weird enough to write in about.
If you haven't seen the show, you should give it a chance. The five main leads spend most of their time in a bar getting drunk and hooking up (or trying to hook up) just like most of the twenty-somethings that I have ever known. Certainly a lot more believable than hanging out on a couch in a coffee bar all day and night long. I mean who has "Friends" like that?
05/12/2006 11:00 PM EST
Hey kids! Earl here again, while Slyde is vacationing. There is a new show on CBS that I've become a fan of in recent days. It's called How I Met Your Mother and I started watching because I've had this little crush on Alyson Hannigan ever since I started watching Buffy a few years back. It's a harmless bit o' fluffy TV sitcom made watchable mostly by the hilarious turn of Neil Patrick Harris as the suited-up Barney. Funny stuff.
But check out this fishy bit o' dialogue that was used in this past week's episode. The main character, Ted, is bemoaning the fact that he is single because he is too picky with women. He wants the perfect woman, and he goes into deep detail about the type of woman she is. He finishes it up with the following:
Ted: "And she plays bass guitar like Kim Deal from The Pixies."
Marshall: "Or Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth."
Ted: "Any Kim from any cool band, really. Cant' be too picky."
Whoa, whoa, whoa...doesn't that sound a little familiar? Let me refresh your memory from a post of mine back on March 31, 2006. The topic was Sonic Youth and Pauley Perrette , but I originally started the whole thing by talking about Kim Director when I wrote this:
B.E. Earl: "Some of my favorite all-time women have been named “Kim”. Kim Deal from The Pixies, Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth, and I could go on."
Am I being ripped off here by the writers of a major TV show? What the hell! Where is my royalty check?
Actually, the chances that anyone who was a fan of that type of music back in the day were probably fans of both The Pixies and Sonic Youth, and if they were male they most likely had a bit of a thing for the aforementioned Kims. Still, I thought it funny and weird enough to write in about.
If you haven't seen the show, you should give it a chance. The five main leads spend most of their time in a bar getting drunk and hooking up (or trying to hook up) just like most of the twenty-somethings that I have ever known. Certainly a lot more believable than hanging out on a couch in a coffee bar all day and night long. I mean who has "Friends" like that?
May 3, 2006
Cinco de Awesome!
By B.E. Earl
05/03/2006 4:15 PM EST
Hola, ¡cabritos! As you may (or may not) know by now, I have a fondness for the holidays. Not so much Christmas, Independence Day or Thanksgiving Day, but the holidays that are a bit more fun and have a whole lot more to do with drinking. I’ve already posted about Halloween and St. Patrick’s Day, so I thought it would be fun to muse on the fun that is Cinco de Mayo.
First off, some history. The 5th of May is not Mexican Independence Day, as many people here in the US believe. Mexico declared its’ independence from Spain on September 15th of 1810. May 5th celebrates the victory of the Mexican army over the French (and certain Mexican traitors) on the morning of May 5th, 1862. You see, the French had come to Mexico along with English and Spanish troops to collect on certain debts from the Mexican government. England and Spain soon made deals and left. The French, however, decided to stick around and take over Mexico while the United States was in the midst of a Civil War. 4,000 loyal Mexican soldiers decided otherwise and trounced the French Foreign Legion. Some even believe that this battle assisted the Union in beating the Confederates in our own Civil War since Napoleon III was unable to supply the confederate rebels for the better part of the next year. Good stuff!
What does this have to do with my enjoyment of Cinco de Mayo? Nada! It’s all about tequila and chili for me! So, I’ve decided to give you my top five list of tequilas and my personal recipe for kick-ass chili. Let’s start with tequila shall we.
Tequila has become very popular here in the States over the past 10-15 years. So much so that there are now bars and restaurants that specialize in offering anywhere from 30-100 different types of tequila. Those places are awesome! Tequila is made from fermenting and distilling the sap of the blue agave plant (a succulent, not a cactus). You may have heard that tequila is a type of mezcal, which is true. All tequilas are a form of mezcal, but not all mezcals are tequilas. Got it? Alright, never mind. I could talk for hours about tequila, but I won’t bore you with the details. On to the list:
5. Cazadores (Reposado) – This unassuming bottle with the stag head label is just one fantastic tequila! Kentucky oak barrels are used to age the tequila giving it its’ rich, golden color. Drink it neat or on the rocks. Yummy!
4. Sauza Tres Generaciones (Anejo) – Featured prominently in Kill Bill 2, this simple, underpriced anejo is aged upwards of six years in small oak barrels. Very clean and smooth. My favorite to drink on the rocks with a twist of lime. Wanna have me some right now!
3. Don Eduardo (Silver) – Awesomely harsh tequila taste, and I mean that as a compliment. Maybe even a bit peppery, to me at least. Don Eduardo also makes a fine Anejo, but this is my favorite non-aged tequila around. Great as a shot, on the rocks or in a fantastic margarita!
2. Corazon (Reposado) – What a great bottle, and the tequila in it doesn’t disappoint. Aged in Canadian oak barrels, this is one damn fine sipping tequila. It also comes in a Silver and Anejo, but I like the taste of the Reposado the best.
1. Jose Cuervo Reserva de la Familia (Anejo) – I almost left this one off the list because it is so aged, so smooth that it almost doesn’t taste like tequila at all. Drink this one in a warm snifter and enjoy with your best friends. It’s like a little bit of heaven right there in a bottle.
I could have gone on and on about tequila, but I wanted to quickly get to my recipe for chili, so here goes:
Ingredients
1 ½ pounds ground sirloin
1 pound ground Italian sausage (sweet or hot)
1 large can peeled Italian tomatoes (not sure of the size, but the big can)
1 small can tomato paste (not sure of the size, but the smallest one)
1 bottle beer (user’s choice)
2-3 red, orange or yellow peppers diced (I like to mix it up for the colors)
2 green peppers diced
2 large onions diced
6 celery stalks diced
I large handful of jalepeno or similarly spicy peppers seeded and diced.
2 ½ tblspns ground chili powder
1 tblspn ground cayenne pepper powder
1 tblspn ground cumin
1 tblspn salt
- Add tomatoes (you can slice them up if you prefer, but include all the juice in the can), tomato paste, beer and spices to large pot on low-medium heat.
- Brown beef and sausage in large pan. Drain and add to pot.
- Sauté onions, celery and peppers in a little vegetable oil until onions are a little translucent. Add to pot.
- Bring to a slow boil and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 4-5 hours (or until the tomatoes break down) covered, stirring occasionally.
- Serve with sour cream, grated cheddar or Monterey jack cheese, tortilla chips and hot sauce for an additional kick.
As you can see, I do not put beans in my chili. I prefer just the veggies and the meat, but feel free to add some small red or black beans to the mix. Do so according to the directions on the bean packet, but then it won’t be MY chili recipe, now will it?
Enjoy Cinco de Mayo everyone!
05/03/2006 4:15 PM EST
Hola, ¡cabritos! As you may (or may not) know by now, I have a fondness for the holidays. Not so much Christmas, Independence Day or Thanksgiving Day, but the holidays that are a bit more fun and have a whole lot more to do with drinking. I’ve already posted about Halloween and St. Patrick’s Day, so I thought it would be fun to muse on the fun that is Cinco de Mayo.
First off, some history. The 5th of May is not Mexican Independence Day, as many people here in the US believe. Mexico declared its’ independence from Spain on September 15th of 1810. May 5th celebrates the victory of the Mexican army over the French (and certain Mexican traitors) on the morning of May 5th, 1862. You see, the French had come to Mexico along with English and Spanish troops to collect on certain debts from the Mexican government. England and Spain soon made deals and left. The French, however, decided to stick around and take over Mexico while the United States was in the midst of a Civil War. 4,000 loyal Mexican soldiers decided otherwise and trounced the French Foreign Legion. Some even believe that this battle assisted the Union in beating the Confederates in our own Civil War since Napoleon III was unable to supply the confederate rebels for the better part of the next year. Good stuff!
What does this have to do with my enjoyment of Cinco de Mayo? Nada! It’s all about tequila and chili for me! So, I’ve decided to give you my top five list of tequilas and my personal recipe for kick-ass chili. Let’s start with tequila shall we.
Tequila has become very popular here in the States over the past 10-15 years. So much so that there are now bars and restaurants that specialize in offering anywhere from 30-100 different types of tequila. Those places are awesome! Tequila is made from fermenting and distilling the sap of the blue agave plant (a succulent, not a cactus). You may have heard that tequila is a type of mezcal, which is true. All tequilas are a form of mezcal, but not all mezcals are tequilas. Got it? Alright, never mind. I could talk for hours about tequila, but I won’t bore you with the details. On to the list:
5. Cazadores (Reposado) – This unassuming bottle with the stag head label is just one fantastic tequila! Kentucky oak barrels are used to age the tequila giving it its’ rich, golden color. Drink it neat or on the rocks. Yummy!
4. Sauza Tres Generaciones (Anejo) – Featured prominently in Kill Bill 2, this simple, underpriced anejo is aged upwards of six years in small oak barrels. Very clean and smooth. My favorite to drink on the rocks with a twist of lime. Wanna have me some right now!
3. Don Eduardo (Silver) – Awesomely harsh tequila taste, and I mean that as a compliment. Maybe even a bit peppery, to me at least. Don Eduardo also makes a fine Anejo, but this is my favorite non-aged tequila around. Great as a shot, on the rocks or in a fantastic margarita!
2. Corazon (Reposado) – What a great bottle, and the tequila in it doesn’t disappoint. Aged in Canadian oak barrels, this is one damn fine sipping tequila. It also comes in a Silver and Anejo, but I like the taste of the Reposado the best.
1. Jose Cuervo Reserva de la Familia (Anejo) – I almost left this one off the list because it is so aged, so smooth that it almost doesn’t taste like tequila at all. Drink this one in a warm snifter and enjoy with your best friends. It’s like a little bit of heaven right there in a bottle.
I could have gone on and on about tequila, but I wanted to quickly get to my recipe for chili, so here goes:
Ingredients
1 ½ pounds ground sirloin
1 pound ground Italian sausage (sweet or hot)
1 large can peeled Italian tomatoes (not sure of the size, but the big can)
1 small can tomato paste (not sure of the size, but the smallest one)
1 bottle beer (user’s choice)
2-3 red, orange or yellow peppers diced (I like to mix it up for the colors)
2 green peppers diced
2 large onions diced
6 celery stalks diced
I large handful of jalepeno or similarly spicy peppers seeded and diced.
2 ½ tblspns ground chili powder
1 tblspn ground cayenne pepper powder
1 tblspn ground cumin
1 tblspn salt
- Add tomatoes (you can slice them up if you prefer, but include all the juice in the can), tomato paste, beer and spices to large pot on low-medium heat.
- Brown beef and sausage in large pan. Drain and add to pot.
- Sauté onions, celery and peppers in a little vegetable oil until onions are a little translucent. Add to pot.
- Bring to a slow boil and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 4-5 hours (or until the tomatoes break down) covered, stirring occasionally.
- Serve with sour cream, grated cheddar or Monterey jack cheese, tortilla chips and hot sauce for an additional kick.
As you can see, I do not put beans in my chili. I prefer just the veggies and the meat, but feel free to add some small red or black beans to the mix. Do so according to the directions on the bean packet, but then it won’t be MY chili recipe, now will it?
Enjoy Cinco de Mayo everyone!
Apr 5, 2006
Extra Innings
By B.E. Earl
04/05/2006 10:21 PM EST
Yowza, yowza, yowza! Thought I would expand on my last Sonic Youth/Pauley Perrette post with a couple of odds and ends regarding both.
The radio station that I heard Sonic Youth on a few weeks back was something called the Radio X Underground Network here on Long Island. It can be heard on 94.7, 94.9 and 104.5 on your FM radio dial just about anywhere in Suffolk County. Unfortunately the signal is pretty weak in my hometown of Huntington, but hopefully they will correct that someday. Their tagline is “transmitting from the top of a really big tree in Ridge”. So they will never be confused with the old K-Rock. They play a healthy dose of alternative music that is currently missing from the rest of NYC/LI metropolitan area. Besides WFUV (90.7FM), it is the only radio station that I really listen to.
What I didn’t mention in my last post about hearing “Titanium Expose” on Radio X is that I had never heard it on the radio…ever! It’s the last song on Sonic Youth’s “Goo” album, and at almost seven minutes long it is not what you would call radio-friendly. The only thing I could think of was that it was on the soundtrack of Pump Up the Volume, a 1990 film featuring Christian Slater as a teenaged underground radio DJ. Then I became really sad because I knew it was on the soundtrack of that mostly forgettable film.
You see, my obscure film trivia knowledge is the biggest factor in my not leading a fuller, more important life. I’ve been known to say that the portion of the brain most people use to lead a normal life is filled with utter nonsense about movies in my brain. Anyway, back to our story.
I started to hear more references to Pump Up the Volume on this radio station on a daily basis. They play an audio clip from it between songs. “Are you listening…are you out there?” or something like that. They also played Concrete Blonde’s version of Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows” which was also on the soundtrack. Maybe they feel they have a kindred spirit in the character that Christian Slater plays. Who knows?
Now, I own the soundtrack. It’s great! It’s got Ivan Neville, The Pixies, Liquid Jesus, Cowboy Junkies, Beastie Boys and Bad Brains performing with Henry Rollins! All great stuff! I just think that it is a little weird for a new and developing radio station to have a soundtrack from an obscure movie made 16 years ago on its playlist. Weird, but I love it! I may be the only person listening who loves it, and at 39 I’m probably not the demographic that they were looking for, but so be it. Talk hard! Steal the air!
As for the lovely Pauley Perrette , you can read an interview with her in the current issue of Risen magazine that is on newsstands now. That is, if you are able to find it. I went to Barnes & Noble to see if they had it, but nay…they didn’t even carry the title. Then I went to Tower Records and an extremely helpful sales clerk informed me that they carry it in the Music section and even spent five minutes or so trying to help me find it in vain. I thanked him and continued to peruse the magazine racks because I wasn’t quite sure if it was actually a Music-type magazine. Just about to give up, I found it on the bottom rack next to a Heavy Metal magazine and a video game rag.
After reading it, I’m not sure how to classify it. They feature interviews with will.i.am from The Black Eyed Peas, Anne Rice, Danny Trejo (how cool is that?) and Pauley Perrette. I guess you can say that they feature artists from all mediums, but there is a great focus on spiritualism and religion in each interview. Maybe I should have gleaned from the title (the sub-title is “it’s not what you think.”), but I just wasn’t sure. Either way, it is an intelligent and totally different type of magazine that strays far away from the normal interview fare. You gotta love a magazine that will ask the hard questions like “Where do you see yourself in 10,000 years?”
You can check out Risen magazine at www.risenmagazine.com, if that kind of thing floats your boat. It comes with my personal seal of approval. Yeah, I know…that and $3.60 will get you a double tall vanilla latte at Starbucks. Sigh.
04/05/2006 10:21 PM EST
Yowza, yowza, yowza! Thought I would expand on my last Sonic Youth/Pauley Perrette post with a couple of odds and ends regarding both.
The radio station that I heard Sonic Youth on a few weeks back was something called the Radio X Underground Network here on Long Island. It can be heard on 94.7, 94.9 and 104.5 on your FM radio dial just about anywhere in Suffolk County. Unfortunately the signal is pretty weak in my hometown of Huntington, but hopefully they will correct that someday. Their tagline is “transmitting from the top of a really big tree in Ridge”. So they will never be confused with the old K-Rock. They play a healthy dose of alternative music that is currently missing from the rest of NYC/LI metropolitan area. Besides WFUV (90.7FM), it is the only radio station that I really listen to.
What I didn’t mention in my last post about hearing “Titanium Expose” on Radio X is that I had never heard it on the radio…ever! It’s the last song on Sonic Youth’s “Goo” album, and at almost seven minutes long it is not what you would call radio-friendly. The only thing I could think of was that it was on the soundtrack of Pump Up the Volume, a 1990 film featuring Christian Slater as a teenaged underground radio DJ. Then I became really sad because I knew it was on the soundtrack of that mostly forgettable film.
You see, my obscure film trivia knowledge is the biggest factor in my not leading a fuller, more important life. I’ve been known to say that the portion of the brain most people use to lead a normal life is filled with utter nonsense about movies in my brain. Anyway, back to our story.
I started to hear more references to Pump Up the Volume on this radio station on a daily basis. They play an audio clip from it between songs. “Are you listening…are you out there?” or something like that. They also played Concrete Blonde’s version of Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows” which was also on the soundtrack. Maybe they feel they have a kindred spirit in the character that Christian Slater plays. Who knows?
Now, I own the soundtrack. It’s great! It’s got Ivan Neville, The Pixies, Liquid Jesus, Cowboy Junkies, Beastie Boys and Bad Brains performing with Henry Rollins! All great stuff! I just think that it is a little weird for a new and developing radio station to have a soundtrack from an obscure movie made 16 years ago on its playlist. Weird, but I love it! I may be the only person listening who loves it, and at 39 I’m probably not the demographic that they were looking for, but so be it. Talk hard! Steal the air!
As for the lovely Pauley Perrette , you can read an interview with her in the current issue of Risen magazine that is on newsstands now. That is, if you are able to find it. I went to Barnes & Noble to see if they had it, but nay…they didn’t even carry the title. Then I went to Tower Records and an extremely helpful sales clerk informed me that they carry it in the Music section and even spent five minutes or so trying to help me find it in vain. I thanked him and continued to peruse the magazine racks because I wasn’t quite sure if it was actually a Music-type magazine. Just about to give up, I found it on the bottom rack next to a Heavy Metal magazine and a video game rag.
After reading it, I’m not sure how to classify it. They feature interviews with will.i.am from The Black Eyed Peas, Anne Rice, Danny Trejo (how cool is that?) and Pauley Perrette. I guess you can say that they feature artists from all mediums, but there is a great focus on spiritualism and religion in each interview. Maybe I should have gleaned from the title (the sub-title is “it’s not what you think.”), but I just wasn’t sure. Either way, it is an intelligent and totally different type of magazine that strays far away from the normal interview fare. You gotta love a magazine that will ask the hard questions like “Where do you see yourself in 10,000 years?”
You can check out Risen magazine at www.risenmagazine.com, if that kind of thing floats your boat. It comes with my personal seal of approval. Yeah, I know…that and $3.60 will get you a double tall vanilla latte at Starbucks. Sigh.
Mar 31, 2006
Six Degrees of Sonic Youth
By B.E. Earl
03/31/2006 11:01 PM EST
Hey kids! So I’ve made a pretty important decision in my life. I had previously decided to fall in love with Kim Director, but I’ve just changed my mind and found that my love must go to Pauley Perrette instead. By “previously”, I meant just earlier tonight. Confused? Lemme ‘splain.
I had just come back from seeing the new Spike Lee joint (wow, I hated typing that) Inside Man and I was looking up some things about it on IMDB.com. One of those things happened to be where Kim Director (who co-starred in the film) has been all my life. Apparently she had been in quite a few Spike Lee joints (ouch!) over the years, but I actually recognized her from Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 in which she played the yummie Goth Kim Diamond. Some of my favorite all-time women have been named “Kim”. Kim Deal from The Pixies, Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth, and I could go on. Still with me?
Scanning her acting credits on IMDB, I was sure that I was going to find her on “Navy NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service” as the yummie Goth Abby Sciuto. I mean, I had seen the show all of one time so I was positive the same actor played them both. Right? Wrong! The aforementioned Abby Sciuto is played by Pauley Perrette who really looks like Kim Director in only the vaguest of ways. They are both attractive females with dark hair.
Digging a bit deeper it seems that Pauley P is a published poet and spoken word artist. She actually has a Master’s Degree in Criminology (who saw that coming?) and a real obsession with the study of forensics. She also has her own blogsite, http://www.pauleyp.com/blog/, where she writes an awful lot. Great stuff too.
I was thumbing through it tonight when I came across a posting from February 16th, 2006 in which she made a list of great things that included: “One Of Your Fave Obscure Songs Heard On The Radio In The Car”. I had to shoot her a quick email (that will most likely go unread) to explain that this had just happened to me last week with the song “Titanium Expose” by Sonic Youth! Kim Gordon’s band, Sonic Youth! See what I did there?
So I’ve now been listening to my old Sonic Youth CDs for the past few hours, and reading through the archives of her blog. Nice! I think I’ll have to start watching “Navy NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service” more often!
03/31/2006 11:01 PM EST
Hey kids! So I’ve made a pretty important decision in my life. I had previously decided to fall in love with Kim Director, but I’ve just changed my mind and found that my love must go to Pauley Perrette instead. By “previously”, I meant just earlier tonight. Confused? Lemme ‘splain.
I had just come back from seeing the new Spike Lee joint (wow, I hated typing that) Inside Man and I was looking up some things about it on IMDB.com. One of those things happened to be where Kim Director (who co-starred in the film) has been all my life. Apparently she had been in quite a few Spike Lee joints (ouch!) over the years, but I actually recognized her from Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 in which she played the yummie Goth Kim Diamond. Some of my favorite all-time women have been named “Kim”. Kim Deal from The Pixies, Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth, and I could go on. Still with me?
Scanning her acting credits on IMDB, I was sure that I was going to find her on “Navy NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service” as the yummie Goth Abby Sciuto. I mean, I had seen the show all of one time so I was positive the same actor played them both. Right? Wrong! The aforementioned Abby Sciuto is played by Pauley Perrette who really looks like Kim Director in only the vaguest of ways. They are both attractive females with dark hair.
Digging a bit deeper it seems that Pauley P is a published poet and spoken word artist. She actually has a Master’s Degree in Criminology (who saw that coming?) and a real obsession with the study of forensics. She also has her own blogsite, http://www.pauleyp.com/blog/, where she writes an awful lot. Great stuff too.
I was thumbing through it tonight when I came across a posting from February 16th, 2006 in which she made a list of great things that included: “One Of Your Fave Obscure Songs Heard On The Radio In The Car”. I had to shoot her a quick email (that will most likely go unread) to explain that this had just happened to me last week with the song “Titanium Expose” by Sonic Youth! Kim Gordon’s band, Sonic Youth! See what I did there?
So I’ve now been listening to my old Sonic Youth CDs for the past few hours, and reading through the archives of her blog. Nice! I think I’ll have to start watching “Navy NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service” more often!
Mar 9, 2006
Skanks for the Memories
By B.E. Earl
03/09/2006 12:04 PM EST
Howdy kids! One of the great things about getting older (and maybe one of the only great things) is that big ole’ bag of memories that you can dip into every once in a while. You stick your head in, fish around and sometimes you wind up with a great big smile. Other times you wind up embarrassed as all hell, but hopefully the smiles outweigh the frowns when placed upon the scales of life. Wow…that sounded much deeper than I am really capable of. Oh no! Another downer for the memory bag!
Anyway, I happened to see that The Ska-talites are going to be playing a gig in NYC next week with their new lineup. Got me thinking about ska, which was the driving musical force of my life during much of the early and mid 90’s. So I dusted off my pork-pie hat (which I’ve always been too embarrassed to wear out of the house) and kicked it out with some of my old ska recordings the other night, and I discovered something. I really miss The Scofflaws.
The Scofflaws were/are a Long-Island-based ska band that were at the height of their popularity during the mid-90’s before the flood of ska-pop bands began to hit MTV. A part of ska’s “third wave” along with bands like Bim Skala Bim, they were a staple in NYC and Long Island clubs during much of the 90’s. Along with my good friend, I was a semi-regular at their gigs all over the Island. We must have seen them close to 50 times back then.
One fond memory was seeing them at a bar in Farmingdale one weekend. It was the end of their set and they looked to the audience for requests. We shouted out “Paul Getty” (a favorite of mine) to which Richard “Sammy” Brooks, their lead singer/saxophonist, replied “F**k that!” Well, the very next week we went to see them in a bar in Port Jefferson. Brooks stepped up to the mike at the beginning of their second set and said they were going to play “Paul Getty” for those two dudes up front who requested it the previous week. He said he felt bad about telling us off back in Farmingdale. Cool!
So I wound up listening to their CDs over and over again over the next few days. I looked them up on Google and couldn’t find any evidence if they were still performing. I know Buford O’Sullivan is doing his own thing nowadays, but even he said on his website that the common denominator to all the various incarnations of the Scofflaws was Richard Brooks. So maybe Brooks is still out there, skanking his way through gigs just like he did back in the day. I hope so. If anyone has any info, please drop a line in the comment section.
Maybe I’ll go see The Ska-talites next week. They’ve been around in one form or another since the mid-60’s, and they are still skanking. Looks like only Lloyd Knibb and Doreen Shaffer remain from the original band, and I’m surprised even at that. Saw them a few times in NYC a ways back and they were great! Maybe I’ll even wear my unused pork-pie hat. Probably not though. Too bad…it’s a great hat!
03/09/2006 12:04 PM EST
Howdy kids! One of the great things about getting older (and maybe one of the only great things) is that big ole’ bag of memories that you can dip into every once in a while. You stick your head in, fish around and sometimes you wind up with a great big smile. Other times you wind up embarrassed as all hell, but hopefully the smiles outweigh the frowns when placed upon the scales of life. Wow…that sounded much deeper than I am really capable of. Oh no! Another downer for the memory bag!
Anyway, I happened to see that The Ska-talites are going to be playing a gig in NYC next week with their new lineup. Got me thinking about ska, which was the driving musical force of my life during much of the early and mid 90’s. So I dusted off my pork-pie hat (which I’ve always been too embarrassed to wear out of the house) and kicked it out with some of my old ska recordings the other night, and I discovered something. I really miss The Scofflaws.
The Scofflaws were/are a Long-Island-based ska band that were at the height of their popularity during the mid-90’s before the flood of ska-pop bands began to hit MTV. A part of ska’s “third wave” along with bands like Bim Skala Bim, they were a staple in NYC and Long Island clubs during much of the 90’s. Along with my good friend, I was a semi-regular at their gigs all over the Island. We must have seen them close to 50 times back then.
One fond memory was seeing them at a bar in Farmingdale one weekend. It was the end of their set and they looked to the audience for requests. We shouted out “Paul Getty” (a favorite of mine) to which Richard “Sammy” Brooks, their lead singer/saxophonist, replied “F**k that!” Well, the very next week we went to see them in a bar in Port Jefferson. Brooks stepped up to the mike at the beginning of their second set and said they were going to play “Paul Getty” for those two dudes up front who requested it the previous week. He said he felt bad about telling us off back in Farmingdale. Cool!
So I wound up listening to their CDs over and over again over the next few days. I looked them up on Google and couldn’t find any evidence if they were still performing. I know Buford O’Sullivan is doing his own thing nowadays, but even he said on his website that the common denominator to all the various incarnations of the Scofflaws was Richard Brooks. So maybe Brooks is still out there, skanking his way through gigs just like he did back in the day. I hope so. If anyone has any info, please drop a line in the comment section.
Maybe I’ll go see The Ska-talites next week. They’ve been around in one form or another since the mid-60’s, and they are still skanking. Looks like only Lloyd Knibb and Doreen Shaffer remain from the original band, and I’m surprised even at that. Saw them a few times in NYC a ways back and they were great! Maybe I’ll even wear my unused pork-pie hat. Probably not though. Too bad…it’s a great hat!
The Late, Great Kirby Puckett
By B.E. Earl
03/09/2006 9:50 PM EST
Hey kids! Sad news this week from the world of baseball. Kirby Puckett, Hall of Fame centerfielder for the Minnesota Twins, died after suffering a stroke. Kirby was one of those players that made you love the game of baseball. His reckless abandon in the outfield, his huge grin and his semi-ridiculous body just made you want to smile when you saw him play. He was the centerpiece of a Twins team that won two World Series and he was a ten-time participant in the All-Star game. Yet, something has always bothered me about his first ballot selection to the Hall of Fame back in 2001.
It wasn’t the subsequent talk about his off-field problems. I’m not here to talk about that. Maybe he wasn’t as much of a “good guy” as baseball folks liked to think he was when he was playing, but the Hall of Fame voters ultimately shouldn’t decide whether or not someone is a “good guy” before voting him into the most hallow of Halls. The Hall is filled with players and managers that wouldn’t even come close to having “good guy” credentials in their resumes. And I certainly won’t go into details about the allegations about his character now that he has passed away. I don’t mean any disrespect to the man himself.
No. What I have a problem with was the automatic assumption that he was a first ballot HoFer after he retired early due to glaucoma, and the fact that assumption was proven to be correct in 2001. Take a look at Kirby’s career statistics alongside those of a contemporary of his whose career was also cut short due to a medical condition.
G AB Hits HR RBI Runs BB BA OBP SLG
Kirby 1783 7244 2304 207 1085 1071 450 .318 .360 .477
Player A 1785 7003 2153 222 1099 1007 588 .307 .358 .471
You might find it impossible to find two players whose career numbers come any closer than these two guys. And yet, Kirby was a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame while Player A has never seriously been given consideration for the Hall. Let’s look at some other stats, shall we:
WS Titles MVP Awards All-Star Games Gold Gloves Black Ink
Kirby 2 0 10 6 22
Player A 0 1 6 9 23
For those of you unfamiliar with the term “Black Ink” it refers to the number of times said player led the league an offensive category (Hits, BA, SLG, etc…). Kirby did possess two World Series rings as opposed to none for Player A, but I’ve always felt that argument to be a little weak. Post-season success has much more to do with team success rather than individual achievement. Player A has the one MVP award, however, Kirby did place as high as second in the voting once and third in the voting twice. Both players have an impressive record of All-Star appearances and Gold Glove recognition. So its got to be the post-season success that made voters hold one of these players in such high esteem, while the other is thought to be just short. Right? Take a look at their post-season stats.
G AB Hits HR RBI Runs BB BA OBP SLG
Kirby 24 97 30 5 15 16 8 .309 .361 .536
Player A 5 24 10 1 6 3 1 .417 .440 .708
Kirby certainly played a helluva lot more in the post-season than Player A, but when he did get the chance to play in the post-season Player A’s statistics were astronomical. And those numbers came in his last season as a professional when his skills had dramatically declined due to his previously mentioned medical issues. Who knows the gaudy numbers he could have put up had his team made the playoffs in any of his previous seasons in the big leagues?
So why the discrepancy when it comes to Hall of Fame votes? The answer is I honestly don’t know, but most analysts point to Kirby’s post-season success and heroics. Everyone mentions the home run he hit in Game 6, which allowed the Twins to take the World Series one game later. Very nice, but is it a career defining moment that makes him stand head and shoulders above Player A? And like I stated before, I think World Series titles are a testament to the team rather than the individual, but what the hell do I know.
For those of you who aren’t fans of the New York Yankees, Player A is none other than fan favorite Don Mattingly. To go on the record here, I don’t believe that EITHER player belongs in the hall. They were both great players, both considered to be sure-fire HoFers at the height of their careers. Both, however, were sadly forced to retire early due to their medical conditions. Glaucoma for Kirby Puckett and chronic back problems for Don Mattingly. 10 or 12 years, in my opinion, is just not long enough of a career to allow consideration into the Hall of Fame in most cases. Sandy Koufax is one of the exceptions to the rule. I think both Puckett and Mattingly come up just short.
The baseball world mourns the loss of Kirby Puckett, as it rightly should. Fan favorite and media darling that he was, he will be sorely missed. Maybe the timing of my argument against his induction into the Hall of Fame is a bit off. I’m sure it could anger some of his family, friends and fans that are faced with pain of his passing. I’m sorry for that, I truly am. Baseball, in the end, is just a small part of a man’s life and accomplishments. They should mourn the loss of the man, not the player.
03/09/2006 9:50 PM EST
Hey kids! Sad news this week from the world of baseball. Kirby Puckett, Hall of Fame centerfielder for the Minnesota Twins, died after suffering a stroke. Kirby was one of those players that made you love the game of baseball. His reckless abandon in the outfield, his huge grin and his semi-ridiculous body just made you want to smile when you saw him play. He was the centerpiece of a Twins team that won two World Series and he was a ten-time participant in the All-Star game. Yet, something has always bothered me about his first ballot selection to the Hall of Fame back in 2001.
It wasn’t the subsequent talk about his off-field problems. I’m not here to talk about that. Maybe he wasn’t as much of a “good guy” as baseball folks liked to think he was when he was playing, but the Hall of Fame voters ultimately shouldn’t decide whether or not someone is a “good guy” before voting him into the most hallow of Halls. The Hall is filled with players and managers that wouldn’t even come close to having “good guy” credentials in their resumes. And I certainly won’t go into details about the allegations about his character now that he has passed away. I don’t mean any disrespect to the man himself.
No. What I have a problem with was the automatic assumption that he was a first ballot HoFer after he retired early due to glaucoma, and the fact that assumption was proven to be correct in 2001. Take a look at Kirby’s career statistics alongside those of a contemporary of his whose career was also cut short due to a medical condition.
G AB Hits HR RBI Runs BB BA OBP SLG
Kirby 1783 7244 2304 207 1085 1071 450 .318 .360 .477
Player A 1785 7003 2153 222 1099 1007 588 .307 .358 .471
You might find it impossible to find two players whose career numbers come any closer than these two guys. And yet, Kirby was a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame while Player A has never seriously been given consideration for the Hall. Let’s look at some other stats, shall we:
WS Titles MVP Awards All-Star Games Gold Gloves Black Ink
Kirby 2 0 10 6 22
Player A 0 1 6 9 23
For those of you unfamiliar with the term “Black Ink” it refers to the number of times said player led the league an offensive category (Hits, BA, SLG, etc…). Kirby did possess two World Series rings as opposed to none for Player A, but I’ve always felt that argument to be a little weak. Post-season success has much more to do with team success rather than individual achievement. Player A has the one MVP award, however, Kirby did place as high as second in the voting once and third in the voting twice. Both players have an impressive record of All-Star appearances and Gold Glove recognition. So its got to be the post-season success that made voters hold one of these players in such high esteem, while the other is thought to be just short. Right? Take a look at their post-season stats.
G AB Hits HR RBI Runs BB BA OBP SLG
Kirby 24 97 30 5 15 16 8 .309 .361 .536
Player A 5 24 10 1 6 3 1 .417 .440 .708
Kirby certainly played a helluva lot more in the post-season than Player A, but when he did get the chance to play in the post-season Player A’s statistics were astronomical. And those numbers came in his last season as a professional when his skills had dramatically declined due to his previously mentioned medical issues. Who knows the gaudy numbers he could have put up had his team made the playoffs in any of his previous seasons in the big leagues?
So why the discrepancy when it comes to Hall of Fame votes? The answer is I honestly don’t know, but most analysts point to Kirby’s post-season success and heroics. Everyone mentions the home run he hit in Game 6, which allowed the Twins to take the World Series one game later. Very nice, but is it a career defining moment that makes him stand head and shoulders above Player A? And like I stated before, I think World Series titles are a testament to the team rather than the individual, but what the hell do I know.
For those of you who aren’t fans of the New York Yankees, Player A is none other than fan favorite Don Mattingly. To go on the record here, I don’t believe that EITHER player belongs in the hall. They were both great players, both considered to be sure-fire HoFers at the height of their careers. Both, however, were sadly forced to retire early due to their medical conditions. Glaucoma for Kirby Puckett and chronic back problems for Don Mattingly. 10 or 12 years, in my opinion, is just not long enough of a career to allow consideration into the Hall of Fame in most cases. Sandy Koufax is one of the exceptions to the rule. I think both Puckett and Mattingly come up just short.
The baseball world mourns the loss of Kirby Puckett, as it rightly should. Fan favorite and media darling that he was, he will be sorely missed. Maybe the timing of my argument against his induction into the Hall of Fame is a bit off. I’m sure it could anger some of his family, friends and fans that are faced with pain of his passing. I’m sorry for that, I truly am. Baseball, in the end, is just a small part of a man’s life and accomplishments. They should mourn the loss of the man, not the player.
Feb 28, 2006
Remember, Remember, the 5th of November
By B.E. Earl
02/28/2006 7:17 PM EST
Hey kids! One thing I forgot to mention about March 17th in my last posting was that it is the US and UK major release date for the new Wachowski produced film V for Vendetta. In anticipation of this event, I sat down last night and re-read my copies of the DC comic books written by Alan Moore that the film is based upon.
For those not in the know, ‘V for Vendetta’ was actually started by Moore in the early 80’s and never quite finished because the British magazine that was publishing the serial went under. Moore and DC Publications picked up the unfinished storyline in 1988 and finished it with reprints of the first part of the comic and new material. As Moore himself states in the preface, nothing much has changed (except the age of his daughter) since he first started the story as Margaret Thatcher and the Conservative Party were still ruling Great Britain. ‘V for Vendetta’ was his attempt to comment on a society that he felt was rapidly going down the wrong path.
The titular masked hero/villain, V, is a freedom fighter of unknown origins who not only is attempting to change the landscape of society in this future view of Great Britain, but is also on a vendetta against those who had seriously wronged him and others like him in the past. In this version of the future, Great Britain has survived a nuclear war that had destroyed much of the rest of the world. Having removed all American nuclear weapons from British soil by Parliamentary edict some time ago, they were no longer a prime first strike target. The nuclear winter and resulting famine and flooding, however, caused a drastic change in the government of the country. A fascist regime took over and soon Great Britain became a violent and corrupt Orwellian society.
Our hero, V, chooses Guy Fawkes Day in 1997 as his coming out party and actually succeeds where Fawkes failed in blowing up Parliament. The act is more symbolic than anything else as Parliament’s power had long since gone the way of the dodo. Along with his naïve young accomplice, Evey, V proceeds to rain destruction down on the fascist government and send the whole country into chaos. He also continues his bloody quest to hunt down his former tormentors and make them pay for they had done to him.
The graphic novel is extremely well written and intelligent, maybe even more so than ‘Watchmen’ for which Moore is more often lauded. The way that Moore was playing with the conventional form and content of comic books was revolutionary at the time. Even as dated as it seems now (the comic book’s future date was 1997/1998), we can see how well this story could translate into a timely piece of political filmmaking. I would love to see the Vicious Cabaret section from the comic book played out on the big screen, but I understand it has been excised from the screenplay. Too bad.
I understand that film is going to be different from the graphic novel, as should be the case with a work of this scope that has a multitude of secondary plots and characters. That is the great thing about adapted works of art. You always have the original to go back to. Moore himself has had nothing to do with this film having given away the rights long ago to his friend and collaborator David Lloyd. He has said that adaptations of his work have nothing to do with the work itself. Each should stand alone.
I’m hoping that this adaptation stands alone, but I’m also hoping that it contains enough of the wit and intelligence of the original to show the rest of the world the true genius that is Alan Moore. We shouldn’t have to settle for anything less.
02/28/2006 7:17 PM EST
Hey kids! One thing I forgot to mention about March 17th in my last posting was that it is the US and UK major release date for the new Wachowski produced film V for Vendetta. In anticipation of this event, I sat down last night and re-read my copies of the DC comic books written by Alan Moore that the film is based upon.
For those not in the know, ‘V for Vendetta’ was actually started by Moore in the early 80’s and never quite finished because the British magazine that was publishing the serial went under. Moore and DC Publications picked up the unfinished storyline in 1988 and finished it with reprints of the first part of the comic and new material. As Moore himself states in the preface, nothing much has changed (except the age of his daughter) since he first started the story as Margaret Thatcher and the Conservative Party were still ruling Great Britain. ‘V for Vendetta’ was his attempt to comment on a society that he felt was rapidly going down the wrong path.
The titular masked hero/villain, V, is a freedom fighter of unknown origins who not only is attempting to change the landscape of society in this future view of Great Britain, but is also on a vendetta against those who had seriously wronged him and others like him in the past. In this version of the future, Great Britain has survived a nuclear war that had destroyed much of the rest of the world. Having removed all American nuclear weapons from British soil by Parliamentary edict some time ago, they were no longer a prime first strike target. The nuclear winter and resulting famine and flooding, however, caused a drastic change in the government of the country. A fascist regime took over and soon Great Britain became a violent and corrupt Orwellian society.
Our hero, V, chooses Guy Fawkes Day in 1997 as his coming out party and actually succeeds where Fawkes failed in blowing up Parliament. The act is more symbolic than anything else as Parliament’s power had long since gone the way of the dodo. Along with his naïve young accomplice, Evey, V proceeds to rain destruction down on the fascist government and send the whole country into chaos. He also continues his bloody quest to hunt down his former tormentors and make them pay for they had done to him.
The graphic novel is extremely well written and intelligent, maybe even more so than ‘Watchmen’ for which Moore is more often lauded. The way that Moore was playing with the conventional form and content of comic books was revolutionary at the time. Even as dated as it seems now (the comic book’s future date was 1997/1998), we can see how well this story could translate into a timely piece of political filmmaking. I would love to see the Vicious Cabaret section from the comic book played out on the big screen, but I understand it has been excised from the screenplay. Too bad.
I understand that film is going to be different from the graphic novel, as should be the case with a work of this scope that has a multitude of secondary plots and characters. That is the great thing about adapted works of art. You always have the original to go back to. Moore himself has had nothing to do with this film having given away the rights long ago to his friend and collaborator David Lloyd. He has said that adaptations of his work have nothing to do with the work itself. Each should stand alone.
I’m hoping that this adaptation stands alone, but I’m also hoping that it contains enough of the wit and intelligence of the original to show the rest of the world the true genius that is Alan Moore. We shouldn’t have to settle for anything less.
Feb 24, 2006
Got Any Irish in Ya? Want Some?
By B.E. Earl
02/24/2006 10:37 PM EST
Hey boys and girls! St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and it is one of my favorite times of the year. Besides the weather getting warmer and Opening Day of the baseball season to look forward to, March 17th usually ushers in the beginning of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Good stuff indeed! But it is St. Patrick’s Day itself that is the centerpiece of the lovely month of March. So without further ado, I give you my Top 10 favorite things about St. Patrick’s Day:
10) The Quiet Man – Having this pearl on DVD doesn’t stop me from watching it every time AMC or some other station plays it during the days leading up to March 17th. Hey, they even showed it on Christmas Day this year and I watched it. John Ford’s tale of a retired boxer coming home to his birthplace in Ireland gets better with every viewing. Who would have thought that the Duke could play a romantic lead so well? I could do a Top 10 list of my favorite parts of this film alone. I could, but I won’t.
9) Corned Beef Sandwiches – Sure you can get them any time of the year, but don’t they just taste better on St. Patrick’s Day? Or you could go hog wild and get the full dinner with cabbage and great big hoarkin’ potatoes. Funny thing is that this only became an Irish-American staple after the immigrants made it to America because it was cheap beef. Go figure.
8) Andy Cooney – If you haven’t heard this Irish-American crooner do his version of “When New York was Irish”, well then I guess you simply haven’t heard it. My mom is a huge fan of this singer and we have seen him a few times upstate at an Irish resort. Plus, his brother teaches my nephew karate. So there! Oh yeah, and he also does a rockin’ version of “The Unicorn Song”. Can’t seem to get it out of my head once I’ve heard it though. Must…think…of…something…else! Aarghhhhhhh!
7) Black Bush – C’mon now, this is a PG rated blogsite so get yer minds outta the gutter. I’m taking about the Black label of Bushmill’s Irish Whisky. I just recently found out that it’s “Whisky” without an E if made outside of the USA and “Whiskey” with an E if it is made here. But then I saw a bottle of Maker’s Mark Bourbon that is made in Kentucky and they spell it without an E so maybe I’m just talking out of my ass. Good trick if you can do it.
6) Tommy Makem and the Clancy Brothers – I had a live album by these gentlemen some time ago and I only seemed to listen to it around this grandest of holidays. “Ahem, ahem…me mother’s gone to church. I ain’t supposed to play with you cause you’re in the dirt. It isn’t because you’re dirty, it isn’t because you’re clean. It’s because you have the Whooping Cough and eat margarine.” I still don’t have the foggiest what that means, but it makes me smile every time I hear it.
5) St. Patrick’s Day Parade – Not the one in NYC that is shown on the telly, but the one in Huntington Village which is always on the Sunday prior to St. Patrick’s Day. It pure drivel, but it’s a great day outdoors with my friends from town and it nearly always ends up with someone puking in one of the bathrooms at JD’s. Ah…good times!
4) Green Beer – Okay, I really don’t like green beer and I don’t know anyone who does. But I have to give props to all those bar owners who think that people actually do like green beer. The foine city of Chicago goes it one further and actually dyes their river green on St. Patrick’s Day. And we think the Dutch are crazy with all those Orange colored outfits at the Olympics. Strike that. The Dutch are crazy.
3) Irish Sweaters – I’ve got two hand-made Irish sweaters and St. Patrick’s Day is one of the only times I choose to wear them. It’s not that I don’t like them or they look bad on me. It’s just that I run a little hot most of the time anyway and these things make me sweat like a whore in church, and sweaty, chubby guys don’t get a lot of lovin’ from the ladies.
2) Irish Eyes – I love that on St. Patrick’s Day its cool to be Irish even for those without an Irish bone in ‘em (I refer you to the title of this article). Now I know that it’s cool to be Irish 365 days a year, but that’s because I’m just about 100% of Irish descent. I say just about because there is some debate over one of my grandmother’s claim to not being Irish. Her parents emigrated from England, but they were originally from Ireland. In fact her first cousin was Padraig Pearse who was a great poet and hero of the Irish Revolution. I think she just likeS busting our balls about the whole thing. That and she was Protestant.
1) Guinness – Mother’s Milk. The Black Stuff. Irish Viagra. Whatever you want to call it, St. Patrick’s Day is one of the only so-called holidays with an official drink. Lay down the Murphy’s Stout, put away the Killian’s Irish Red (made in America anyway) and save the Harp for another day. On St. Patrick’s Day we drink Guinness Stout. The only stout! Okay, we drink it the rest of the year as well, but damn it…we drink more on St. Patrick’s Day! Slainte!
02/24/2006 10:37 PM EST
Hey boys and girls! St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and it is one of my favorite times of the year. Besides the weather getting warmer and Opening Day of the baseball season to look forward to, March 17th usually ushers in the beginning of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Good stuff indeed! But it is St. Patrick’s Day itself that is the centerpiece of the lovely month of March. So without further ado, I give you my Top 10 favorite things about St. Patrick’s Day:
10) The Quiet Man – Having this pearl on DVD doesn’t stop me from watching it every time AMC or some other station plays it during the days leading up to March 17th. Hey, they even showed it on Christmas Day this year and I watched it. John Ford’s tale of a retired boxer coming home to his birthplace in Ireland gets better with every viewing. Who would have thought that the Duke could play a romantic lead so well? I could do a Top 10 list of my favorite parts of this film alone. I could, but I won’t.
9) Corned Beef Sandwiches – Sure you can get them any time of the year, but don’t they just taste better on St. Patrick’s Day? Or you could go hog wild and get the full dinner with cabbage and great big hoarkin’ potatoes. Funny thing is that this only became an Irish-American staple after the immigrants made it to America because it was cheap beef. Go figure.
8) Andy Cooney – If you haven’t heard this Irish-American crooner do his version of “When New York was Irish”, well then I guess you simply haven’t heard it. My mom is a huge fan of this singer and we have seen him a few times upstate at an Irish resort. Plus, his brother teaches my nephew karate. So there! Oh yeah, and he also does a rockin’ version of “The Unicorn Song”. Can’t seem to get it out of my head once I’ve heard it though. Must…think…of…something…else! Aarghhhhhhh!
7) Black Bush – C’mon now, this is a PG rated blogsite so get yer minds outta the gutter. I’m taking about the Black label of Bushmill’s Irish Whisky. I just recently found out that it’s “Whisky” without an E if made outside of the USA and “Whiskey” with an E if it is made here. But then I saw a bottle of Maker’s Mark Bourbon that is made in Kentucky and they spell it without an E so maybe I’m just talking out of my ass. Good trick if you can do it.
6) Tommy Makem and the Clancy Brothers – I had a live album by these gentlemen some time ago and I only seemed to listen to it around this grandest of holidays. “Ahem, ahem…me mother’s gone to church. I ain’t supposed to play with you cause you’re in the dirt. It isn’t because you’re dirty, it isn’t because you’re clean. It’s because you have the Whooping Cough and eat margarine.” I still don’t have the foggiest what that means, but it makes me smile every time I hear it.
5) St. Patrick’s Day Parade – Not the one in NYC that is shown on the telly, but the one in Huntington Village which is always on the Sunday prior to St. Patrick’s Day. It pure drivel, but it’s a great day outdoors with my friends from town and it nearly always ends up with someone puking in one of the bathrooms at JD’s. Ah…good times!
4) Green Beer – Okay, I really don’t like green beer and I don’t know anyone who does. But I have to give props to all those bar owners who think that people actually do like green beer. The foine city of Chicago goes it one further and actually dyes their river green on St. Patrick’s Day. And we think the Dutch are crazy with all those Orange colored outfits at the Olympics. Strike that. The Dutch are crazy.
3) Irish Sweaters – I’ve got two hand-made Irish sweaters and St. Patrick’s Day is one of the only times I choose to wear them. It’s not that I don’t like them or they look bad on me. It’s just that I run a little hot most of the time anyway and these things make me sweat like a whore in church, and sweaty, chubby guys don’t get a lot of lovin’ from the ladies.
2) Irish Eyes – I love that on St. Patrick’s Day its cool to be Irish even for those without an Irish bone in ‘em (I refer you to the title of this article). Now I know that it’s cool to be Irish 365 days a year, but that’s because I’m just about 100% of Irish descent. I say just about because there is some debate over one of my grandmother’s claim to not being Irish. Her parents emigrated from England, but they were originally from Ireland. In fact her first cousin was Padraig Pearse who was a great poet and hero of the Irish Revolution. I think she just likeS busting our balls about the whole thing. That and she was Protestant.
1) Guinness – Mother’s Milk. The Black Stuff. Irish Viagra. Whatever you want to call it, St. Patrick’s Day is one of the only so-called holidays with an official drink. Lay down the Murphy’s Stout, put away the Killian’s Irish Red (made in America anyway) and save the Harp for another day. On St. Patrick’s Day we drink Guinness Stout. The only stout! Okay, we drink it the rest of the year as well, but damn it…we drink more on St. Patrick’s Day! Slainte!
Feb 5, 2006
Wicked Smaht
By B.E. Earl
02/05/2006 8:54 AM EST
Hey kids! Have you ever watched a film and decided that you didn't really like and/or understand it at first only to decide at a later time that you actually did like it and that it has gotten under your skin a bit? This happens to me an awful lot. It happened just recently with a so-called classic horror film called The Wicker Man from 1973. As you know, both Slyde and I are big fans of the horror genre, but neither of us had ever seen this classic until I had the chance to purchase the DVD sometime last week.
Let me give you a brief set-up to the movie. In modern day (early 70's) Scotland, a policeman (Edward Woodward) from the mainland is lured to a small island in the Hebrides to investigate the disappearance of a young girl. He encounters a strange group of villagers who act as if they had never seen the girl before. He also encounters the islander's strange religious and sexual practices which is disconcerting to him as he is a devout (and quite repressed) Christian. Suspecting that the girl has been sacrificed or is about to be sacrificed as part of some neo-pagan ritual, he stays on the island in an effort to save the young lass. I'll not go any further in case any of you haven't seen this gem, but let's just say things start to go awry for our young, repressed hero.
I'm not quite sure why I gave it a thumbs-down after my first viewing. It surely wasn't what I expected. There were horror elements to be sure, but I certainly wouldn't classify it solely as a horror film. The first half of the film played out almost as a musical, if you can believe that. There were songs sung in pubs, in fields, around the maypole, and even one extraordinarily strange seduction sung by the landlord's daughter to the policeman while in different rooms! It also didn't go a long way towards explaining some of the strange imagery on the island, but I guess at that point I had already semi-given up on the film.
That next day, however, I found that it HAD gotten under my skin a little. I began to research a little of the background of the film and it started to fascinate me even more. You see, this film was the brainchild of writer Anthony Shaffer, director Robin Hardy and star Christopher Lee. In fact, Lee was not paid a dime for his acting in this film although he continues to call it his favorite film that he had ever worked in. This project was very close to his heart and he wanted to see it completed. Had he accepted his normal fee the film may never have gotten off the ground. Mr. Shaffer had wanted to do a smart, contemporary British horror film which then turned into a morality play, and partly made that weird left turn into musical/drama. The studio which had made the film (British Lion, I believe) was sold soon after shooting had completed and the new head of the studio, Michael Deeley, was not quite sold on the film. In fact, after an early viewing of the film with Shaffer and Lee, he asked them what they thought of it. They believed that it was one of the finest things that either of them had worked on. He replied that it was quite possibly the worst film he had ever seen.
Well, if the head of your studio believes that about your film it ain't gonna be easy to get them to distribute it. They tried to convince Roger Corman to distribute it in the US, but his offer was too low for the studio to accept. It soon found another distributor, but without the clout that Corman could bring to the table the film shot quickly to obscurity even though it drew rave reviews. However, it soon began to rise in the underground as a cult classic. Theaters were playing the film at midnight showings to sold-out audiences. With the advent of VHS (and DVD later on) the legend of the film has continued to grow. There are fanzines, websites and festivals dedicated to the film. One disappointing note is that the original negative to the film has been lost to history. It is believed that it was accidentally included in some garbage that was used for landfill in England's M3 motorway. Mr. Lee deduces that was a direct result of the dislike that Mr. Deeley had for the film!
So, with new information in hand I decided to watch the film a second time and damn if I didn't love it this time around! Even the weird musical scenes were a delight to watch. And the conflict between the repressed Christian ideology of Woodward and the neo-pagan joy of the villagers was especially juicy to behold. Britt Ekland (dubbed by Annie Ross to portray a Scottish accent), Ingrid Pitt (strangely, the producers kept her Polish accent) and Diane Cilento were all beautiful and quite magnetic on the screen. But it was the thoroughly delightful Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle that stole the show. He was funny, thoughtful, smart and not at all outwardly evil as the ringleader of the neo-pagans. A very different Lee than the one I had grown up on when he was doing all those Hammer horror films. He didn't look so awful in a dress towards the end of the film either. I guess you have to see the film to understand that last bit.
Now this classic is being remade for 2006 release with Nicolas Cage as the police officer. They've also switched locales from an island off Scotland to an island off the Puget Sound in Washington (or somewhere in Maine...I've seen both written). Now, I hate to bash a movie before it is released, but I am of the opinion that they should have left this one alone. If they had to remake it I would have preferred that the producers keep the Scottish flavor as the influence of the Celtic pagan rituals will be hard to maintain in an American version. And Nicolas Cage? Ugh!
Anyway, as I stated in the opening sentence, I like when a film gets under my skin a bit. This one had me researching Celtic pagan rituals which is not so easy since the history is murky at best. You see there was no written documentation of these rituals, so what remains today sometimes feels like a bad game of telephone...but played over a couple of thousand years instead of whispered around the room at a party. The maypole, the fire dance, John Barleycorn and the wicker man itself all are a part of early pagan practices although any specifics are hard to come by. This film left me wanting more, and I think that is one of the marks of a truly great piece of art.
02/05/2006 8:54 AM EST
Hey kids! Have you ever watched a film and decided that you didn't really like and/or understand it at first only to decide at a later time that you actually did like it and that it has gotten under your skin a bit? This happens to me an awful lot. It happened just recently with a so-called classic horror film called The Wicker Man from 1973. As you know, both Slyde and I are big fans of the horror genre, but neither of us had ever seen this classic until I had the chance to purchase the DVD sometime last week.
Let me give you a brief set-up to the movie. In modern day (early 70's) Scotland, a policeman (Edward Woodward) from the mainland is lured to a small island in the Hebrides to investigate the disappearance of a young girl. He encounters a strange group of villagers who act as if they had never seen the girl before. He also encounters the islander's strange religious and sexual practices which is disconcerting to him as he is a devout (and quite repressed) Christian. Suspecting that the girl has been sacrificed or is about to be sacrificed as part of some neo-pagan ritual, he stays on the island in an effort to save the young lass. I'll not go any further in case any of you haven't seen this gem, but let's just say things start to go awry for our young, repressed hero.
I'm not quite sure why I gave it a thumbs-down after my first viewing. It surely wasn't what I expected. There were horror elements to be sure, but I certainly wouldn't classify it solely as a horror film. The first half of the film played out almost as a musical, if you can believe that. There were songs sung in pubs, in fields, around the maypole, and even one extraordinarily strange seduction sung by the landlord's daughter to the policeman while in different rooms! It also didn't go a long way towards explaining some of the strange imagery on the island, but I guess at that point I had already semi-given up on the film.
That next day, however, I found that it HAD gotten under my skin a little. I began to research a little of the background of the film and it started to fascinate me even more. You see, this film was the brainchild of writer Anthony Shaffer, director Robin Hardy and star Christopher Lee. In fact, Lee was not paid a dime for his acting in this film although he continues to call it his favorite film that he had ever worked in. This project was very close to his heart and he wanted to see it completed. Had he accepted his normal fee the film may never have gotten off the ground. Mr. Shaffer had wanted to do a smart, contemporary British horror film which then turned into a morality play, and partly made that weird left turn into musical/drama. The studio which had made the film (British Lion, I believe) was sold soon after shooting had completed and the new head of the studio, Michael Deeley, was not quite sold on the film. In fact, after an early viewing of the film with Shaffer and Lee, he asked them what they thought of it. They believed that it was one of the finest things that either of them had worked on. He replied that it was quite possibly the worst film he had ever seen.
Well, if the head of your studio believes that about your film it ain't gonna be easy to get them to distribute it. They tried to convince Roger Corman to distribute it in the US, but his offer was too low for the studio to accept. It soon found another distributor, but without the clout that Corman could bring to the table the film shot quickly to obscurity even though it drew rave reviews. However, it soon began to rise in the underground as a cult classic. Theaters were playing the film at midnight showings to sold-out audiences. With the advent of VHS (and DVD later on) the legend of the film has continued to grow. There are fanzines, websites and festivals dedicated to the film. One disappointing note is that the original negative to the film has been lost to history. It is believed that it was accidentally included in some garbage that was used for landfill in England's M3 motorway. Mr. Lee deduces that was a direct result of the dislike that Mr. Deeley had for the film!
So, with new information in hand I decided to watch the film a second time and damn if I didn't love it this time around! Even the weird musical scenes were a delight to watch. And the conflict between the repressed Christian ideology of Woodward and the neo-pagan joy of the villagers was especially juicy to behold. Britt Ekland (dubbed by Annie Ross to portray a Scottish accent), Ingrid Pitt (strangely, the producers kept her Polish accent) and Diane Cilento were all beautiful and quite magnetic on the screen. But it was the thoroughly delightful Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle that stole the show. He was funny, thoughtful, smart and not at all outwardly evil as the ringleader of the neo-pagans. A very different Lee than the one I had grown up on when he was doing all those Hammer horror films. He didn't look so awful in a dress towards the end of the film either. I guess you have to see the film to understand that last bit.
Now this classic is being remade for 2006 release with Nicolas Cage as the police officer. They've also switched locales from an island off Scotland to an island off the Puget Sound in Washington (or somewhere in Maine...I've seen both written). Now, I hate to bash a movie before it is released, but I am of the opinion that they should have left this one alone. If they had to remake it I would have preferred that the producers keep the Scottish flavor as the influence of the Celtic pagan rituals will be hard to maintain in an American version. And Nicolas Cage? Ugh!
Anyway, as I stated in the opening sentence, I like when a film gets under my skin a bit. This one had me researching Celtic pagan rituals which is not so easy since the history is murky at best. You see there was no written documentation of these rituals, so what remains today sometimes feels like a bad game of telephone...but played over a couple of thousand years instead of whispered around the room at a party. The maypole, the fire dance, John Barleycorn and the wicker man itself all are a part of early pagan practices although any specifics are hard to come by. This film left me wanting more, and I think that is one of the marks of a truly great piece of art.
Feb 2, 2006
All About the Mommies
By B.E. Earl
02/02/2006 5:31 PM EST
Hey Kids! A couple of news items have been buzzing my brainpan lately and rather than just let them stew in my noggin, I thought that I would share my oh-so-unimportant thoughts with the Slydesblog community. Here’s (really) nothin’:
Big Momma’s House 2 – Now I know that I’ve previously poked fun at this totally unnecessary sequel, but it just opened this past weekend and it really struck a nerve. This film, for lack of a better word, actually grossed over $28 million in ticket sales on its’ opening weekend. That is about what my beloved Serenity made in its’ entire theatrical run here the US! Who the hell is actually buying tickets for this crap? Didn’t anyone see the trailers? There has to be some conspiracy! And why did Martin Lawrence need to make this film? Were there so many unanswered questions from the first one? Wake up people!
I am so sick of trying to make sense of the weekly box office tallies. I mean, I know that there is nothing but crap out there, but you know what I do when there isn’t anything worthwhile to see a the theatre? I stay home and practice my embroidery. I’m getting very good. I’m currently making a quilt with scenes from all the quality movies that Martin Lawrence has made in the past decade. It shouldn’t take me very long.
Cindy Sheehan – OK. I’ve got all the respect in the world for those who choose to protest the war. Especially a mother who feels that the President lied to us, and who also feels that her son’s death in Iraq was a direct result of those lies. I’ve supported her behavior in the past, and I even got a bit of a giggle about her protest outside the President’s Texas ranch a while back. Guy can’t even take a working vacation nowadays without getting protested on. But she has crossed that tenuous line of my compassion in the past week with last night’s arrest in the Capitol and her photo shoot earlier this week with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Let me tell you why (in my humble opinion, of course).
She was invited to the State of the Union address by a Representative from the great state of California (I still giggle when Ah-nuld says that word). She was given a pretty good seat not far from the President and she was told that there would be no protests allowed in the Capitol. She was then led to her seat and proceeded to take off her jacket where she exposed an anti-war T-shirt that she picked out especially for this occasion. Security then led her out of the building where she was arrested for demonstrating in the Capitol. That charge was soon changed to unlawful conduct. Now, I’m a fairly intelligent guy. I know what she was trying to do. She wanted to get arrested. She wanted her name to be in the papers today. I’m fine with that. But don’t you think it would have been far more effective for her to have played nice and just sat there the entire time with a stern look on her face for the entire nation to see? Her Representative from CA must surely have alerted the press to her attendance. A few dozen shots of her sitting with her arms folded, shaking her head at the President’s rhetoric would have made an even better story for the talking heads at CNN. Without her presence, the camera had only a few disapproving shots of Sen. Hilary Clinton to keep us going. I’m all for protesting the war, but sometimes I don’t believe that these people are thinking straight when they are trying to get their message across.
Don’t even get me started on her photo shoot with Chavez. Aw, you had to go and do it, didn’t you? You got me started. OK…I warned you. This is the one that really got my blood boiling. Does she realize whom she slipped into bed with this time? This is a man who has openly praised his good friends Fidel Castro and Mohammar Khaddafi. This is a man who does not believe in a representative democracy like we have here in the good ole’ US of A, but a participatory democracy…not that anyone has a clue as to what a “participatory” democracy entails. He is a dictator. If not in name then in actions. He led a coup d’etat in 1992 against the democratically elected Venezuelan government and spent some time in jail for it before he, in turn, was elected President in 1998. That doesn’t diminish his thoroughly un-democratic actions since he has taken office, at least in the eyes of his critics. Maybe dictator is too strong a word to use at this point, but he has taken steps to dramatically increase the power of the executive in his country while controlling the police, military, judicial and tax authorities. Do the math.
You may want to do a Google search next time before you run off for a photo op, honey! Who’s next? Osama bin Laden? Go for it! Just make sure you let us all know where and when that’s gonna be. I’m sure US Special Forces would love to join you.
02/02/2006 5:31 PM EST
Hey Kids! A couple of news items have been buzzing my brainpan lately and rather than just let them stew in my noggin, I thought that I would share my oh-so-unimportant thoughts with the Slydesblog community. Here’s (really) nothin’:
Big Momma’s House 2 – Now I know that I’ve previously poked fun at this totally unnecessary sequel, but it just opened this past weekend and it really struck a nerve. This film, for lack of a better word, actually grossed over $28 million in ticket sales on its’ opening weekend. That is about what my beloved Serenity made in its’ entire theatrical run here the US! Who the hell is actually buying tickets for this crap? Didn’t anyone see the trailers? There has to be some conspiracy! And why did Martin Lawrence need to make this film? Were there so many unanswered questions from the first one? Wake up people!
I am so sick of trying to make sense of the weekly box office tallies. I mean, I know that there is nothing but crap out there, but you know what I do when there isn’t anything worthwhile to see a the theatre? I stay home and practice my embroidery. I’m getting very good. I’m currently making a quilt with scenes from all the quality movies that Martin Lawrence has made in the past decade. It shouldn’t take me very long.
Cindy Sheehan – OK. I’ve got all the respect in the world for those who choose to protest the war. Especially a mother who feels that the President lied to us, and who also feels that her son’s death in Iraq was a direct result of those lies. I’ve supported her behavior in the past, and I even got a bit of a giggle about her protest outside the President’s Texas ranch a while back. Guy can’t even take a working vacation nowadays without getting protested on. But she has crossed that tenuous line of my compassion in the past week with last night’s arrest in the Capitol and her photo shoot earlier this week with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Let me tell you why (in my humble opinion, of course).
She was invited to the State of the Union address by a Representative from the great state of California (I still giggle when Ah-nuld says that word). She was given a pretty good seat not far from the President and she was told that there would be no protests allowed in the Capitol. She was then led to her seat and proceeded to take off her jacket where she exposed an anti-war T-shirt that she picked out especially for this occasion. Security then led her out of the building where she was arrested for demonstrating in the Capitol. That charge was soon changed to unlawful conduct. Now, I’m a fairly intelligent guy. I know what she was trying to do. She wanted to get arrested. She wanted her name to be in the papers today. I’m fine with that. But don’t you think it would have been far more effective for her to have played nice and just sat there the entire time with a stern look on her face for the entire nation to see? Her Representative from CA must surely have alerted the press to her attendance. A few dozen shots of her sitting with her arms folded, shaking her head at the President’s rhetoric would have made an even better story for the talking heads at CNN. Without her presence, the camera had only a few disapproving shots of Sen. Hilary Clinton to keep us going. I’m all for protesting the war, but sometimes I don’t believe that these people are thinking straight when they are trying to get their message across.
Don’t even get me started on her photo shoot with Chavez. Aw, you had to go and do it, didn’t you? You got me started. OK…I warned you. This is the one that really got my blood boiling. Does she realize whom she slipped into bed with this time? This is a man who has openly praised his good friends Fidel Castro and Mohammar Khaddafi. This is a man who does not believe in a representative democracy like we have here in the good ole’ US of A, but a participatory democracy…not that anyone has a clue as to what a “participatory” democracy entails. He is a dictator. If not in name then in actions. He led a coup d’etat in 1992 against the democratically elected Venezuelan government and spent some time in jail for it before he, in turn, was elected President in 1998. That doesn’t diminish his thoroughly un-democratic actions since he has taken office, at least in the eyes of his critics. Maybe dictator is too strong a word to use at this point, but he has taken steps to dramatically increase the power of the executive in his country while controlling the police, military, judicial and tax authorities. Do the math.
You may want to do a Google search next time before you run off for a photo op, honey! Who’s next? Osama bin Laden? Go for it! Just make sure you let us all know where and when that’s gonna be. I’m sure US Special Forces would love to join you.
Jan 19, 2006
False Golden Idols
By B.E. Earl
01/19/2006 8:28 PM EST
Hey kids! As you may have figured out, I'm a bit of a film fan. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that I like to watch the annual award shows to see who takes down the big prizes each year. I was a little bored the other night watching the Golden Globe Awards when I decided to find out who/what the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is. If you are not familiar with the group, the HFPA is the organization that determines the nominees for each award category and subsequently votes on the winners for the Golden Globes. But who are they? I mean it never made much sense to me. Are they Hollywood press reporting in foreign countries about the entertainment industry? Are they foreign press working in Hollywood? Who are these people that the media focuses so much weight on around award season? Surely it must be an astoundingly large number of critics and reporters from around the world weighing in on the best that Hollywood has to offer. Hundreds if not thousands of dedicated men and women working tirelessly to hand out awards that are the pre-cursor to the big daddy of all entertainment awards, the Oscars. Right? Wrong!
The HFPA is a non-profit organization of somewhere around 90 international journalists based in Hollywood whose purpose is to disseminate information about film and television to a world-wide audience. 90 JOURNALISTS! Are you kidding me? These 90 men and women are the only voices and votes for an award as seemingly important as the Golden Globes? Now don't get me wrong. The HFPA does some fine work. In 2005 they donated $1 million to various arts and cultural programs around the world in an effort to further the advance of the film and television. They also donated $250 thousand to the Red Cross. That's very nice.
Where do they get the funding for their charitable work, as well as the funding needed to run the non-profit organization, you may ask. Well, they receive a sizable licensing fee from the networks to run their annual event...the Golden Globe Awards. They also receive licensing fees from various cable networks for allowing them to report from the red carpet. Hm-mm. So let me get this straight. The HFPA (all 90 of them) collect licensing fees from an award show that they run in an effort to award excellence in a field that is already swimming with too many awards. And they give out those awards in the award show that they sponsor, which in turn provides them with the revenue that they need to keep handing out awards the following year? Holy self-sustaining strokefest, Batman! And I thought I used to get confused with The Terminator and all it's time-line questions. Wait...how was John Connor born if he needed to send his own father back in time to be with his mother in the first place, and, and...system failure!
This is bogus, my friends. It's just another session of mutual masturbation that the media machine that is Hollywood has fashioned out of thin air. It made me sick to read about this, and if I ever see another weepy, blathering idiot of a winner (like Felicity Huffman this year) crying about how this is the greatest night of their lives I may actually vomit on my television screen. "You really, really like me...all 90 of you! You really, really like me!" Actually, it's possible that only 25 of the members liked you, honey. Or whatever number of voters that is needed to beat out whomever came in second place. What a piece of crap award this is!
Once again, I applaud the charitable work that the HFPA does. But they could easily raise that much and more by just asking all the nominees for a little some-some in an effort to elevate their public relations profile. You telling me that Harrison Ford can't come up with a good chunk of the million donated last year all by himself? And let us not kid ourselves. Most of the money isn't going to help poverty and starvation in Africa, or to help relief efforts in India. No, most of the money is handed out in the form of financial grants to cultural institutions to help further their own causes. There is some good stuff in there, but most of it isn't of the do-or-die type of relief.
You can find out more about the HFPA on their website www.HFPA.org, that is if you can stomach it. Me...I'm done with this award show in the future. I always thought that some of the choices were a bit odd (C'mon...have you seen Geena Davis in "Commander in Chief"?), but I always thought there was some kind of integrity about the awards themselves. I don't know what goes into the voting for the Academy Awards, and I'm sure it ain't perfect. I just don't know if I have the heart to do any research on that right now. Sigh.
Oh, and if you were wondering why we placed a picture of the stunning Scarlett Johansson (decked out in stunning scarlet, thank you very much) at the top of this article, it wasn't so that we could make some blatantly obvious double entendre about the Golden Globes and her outfit. I just think she's got some nice cans.
01/19/2006 8:28 PM EST
Hey kids! As you may have figured out, I'm a bit of a film fan. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that I like to watch the annual award shows to see who takes down the big prizes each year. I was a little bored the other night watching the Golden Globe Awards when I decided to find out who/what the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is. If you are not familiar with the group, the HFPA is the organization that determines the nominees for each award category and subsequently votes on the winners for the Golden Globes. But who are they? I mean it never made much sense to me. Are they Hollywood press reporting in foreign countries about the entertainment industry? Are they foreign press working in Hollywood? Who are these people that the media focuses so much weight on around award season? Surely it must be an astoundingly large number of critics and reporters from around the world weighing in on the best that Hollywood has to offer. Hundreds if not thousands of dedicated men and women working tirelessly to hand out awards that are the pre-cursor to the big daddy of all entertainment awards, the Oscars. Right? Wrong!
The HFPA is a non-profit organization of somewhere around 90 international journalists based in Hollywood whose purpose is to disseminate information about film and television to a world-wide audience. 90 JOURNALISTS! Are you kidding me? These 90 men and women are the only voices and votes for an award as seemingly important as the Golden Globes? Now don't get me wrong. The HFPA does some fine work. In 2005 they donated $1 million to various arts and cultural programs around the world in an effort to further the advance of the film and television. They also donated $250 thousand to the Red Cross. That's very nice.
Where do they get the funding for their charitable work, as well as the funding needed to run the non-profit organization, you may ask. Well, they receive a sizable licensing fee from the networks to run their annual event...the Golden Globe Awards. They also receive licensing fees from various cable networks for allowing them to report from the red carpet. Hm-mm. So let me get this straight. The HFPA (all 90 of them) collect licensing fees from an award show that they run in an effort to award excellence in a field that is already swimming with too many awards. And they give out those awards in the award show that they sponsor, which in turn provides them with the revenue that they need to keep handing out awards the following year? Holy self-sustaining strokefest, Batman! And I thought I used to get confused with The Terminator and all it's time-line questions. Wait...how was John Connor born if he needed to send his own father back in time to be with his mother in the first place, and, and...system failure!
This is bogus, my friends. It's just another session of mutual masturbation that the media machine that is Hollywood has fashioned out of thin air. It made me sick to read about this, and if I ever see another weepy, blathering idiot of a winner (like Felicity Huffman this year) crying about how this is the greatest night of their lives I may actually vomit on my television screen. "You really, really like me...all 90 of you! You really, really like me!" Actually, it's possible that only 25 of the members liked you, honey. Or whatever number of voters that is needed to beat out whomever came in second place. What a piece of crap award this is!
Once again, I applaud the charitable work that the HFPA does. But they could easily raise that much and more by just asking all the nominees for a little some-some in an effort to elevate their public relations profile. You telling me that Harrison Ford can't come up with a good chunk of the million donated last year all by himself? And let us not kid ourselves. Most of the money isn't going to help poverty and starvation in Africa, or to help relief efforts in India. No, most of the money is handed out in the form of financial grants to cultural institutions to help further their own causes. There is some good stuff in there, but most of it isn't of the do-or-die type of relief.
You can find out more about the HFPA on their website www.HFPA.org, that is if you can stomach it. Me...I'm done with this award show in the future. I always thought that some of the choices were a bit odd (C'mon...have you seen Geena Davis in "Commander in Chief"?), but I always thought there was some kind of integrity about the awards themselves. I don't know what goes into the voting for the Academy Awards, and I'm sure it ain't perfect. I just don't know if I have the heart to do any research on that right now. Sigh.
Oh, and if you were wondering why we placed a picture of the stunning Scarlett Johansson (decked out in stunning scarlet, thank you very much) at the top of this article, it wasn't so that we could make some blatantly obvious double entendre about the Golden Globes and her outfit. I just think she's got some nice cans.
Jan 14, 2006
Read Me a Story
By B.E. Earl
01/14/2006 9:33 AM EST
Hey kids! Happy New Year and all that stuff! Slyde sent me a note the other day to write something new for his blog, and after careful consideration I found that I have absolutely nothing to say. Nada. Zilch. Bupkiss. He and I can talk on the phone for an hour about his son’s most excellent day of pooping on the potty or what we think is going to happen on this week’s episode of “Lost”. This is very entertaining stuff to us (and to a few other we know), however, when trying to put pen to paper, something gets lost in the translation. Then, out of the blue, my friend PTJ started off a conversation with “So you’re pretty well-read...blah, blah, blah”. That got me thinking. I’m really not well-read. I do read a lot. Not as much as I should, but probably more than your average bear. I just don’t read the stuff that I SHOULD be reading. You see my taste in reading material matured when I was in the 9th grade or so. I like my fiction on the fantastic side, if you please. Sci-fi, Horror, Fantasy, etc… That’s what it’s all about for me. Oh, occasionally I will try to upgrade my literary…er…ness by picking up the latest book by Chuck Palahniuk or trying to get through “Moby Dick”, but I find that I’m mostly kidding myself. Just like Popeye, I am what I am.
So, in an effort to show my lack of literary range and to prove to Peter that I most certainly am NOT well-read, here are the last six books that I’ve read with a little mini-review for each. Enjoy!
“The Tomb” (F. Paul Wilson) – So I read this book way back in the mid-80’s when it first was published, and I just recently found it again. It’s central character, Repairman Jack, is a man with no identity who works outside the law “fixing” his customer’s problems. In this case, he was hired by an ex-girlfriend (who was none too fond of his sometimes violent occupation) to find one of her aunt’s who has gone missing. An Indian man who wants to find a necklace that some thug stole from his grandmother’s neck also hires him. Pretty soon we find that the two cases are connected with an ancient evil that has recently been re-awakened that involves both the family of the Indian gentleman and the British in-laws of his ex-girlfriend.
I always liked this book and it’s main protagonist. Jack is the kind of hero I enjoy reading stories about. He is dangerous and intelligent but with a heart of gold and an unwavering sense of loyalty and revenge. I would constantly check the bookstore for the many sequels that I hoped would follow only to be dissappointed again and again. I guess I stopped checking for them sometime in the mid-90’s. Well, Repairman Jack is back with a vengeance! Wilson re-released “The Tomb” in 1998 (updating some of background info that had previously dated it), and has written half a dozen sequels since then. I haven’t tried to hard, but I will eventually find them and read them like a madman. This is good macho stuff!
“Two Trains Running” (Andrew Vachss) – Think about Last Man Standing starring Bruce Willis. Better yet, think about the movie that film was based on, A Fistful of Dollars starring Clint Eastwood. Better yet, think about the movie THAT film was based on, Yojimbo starring Toshiro Mifune, and you will have an idea what this novel is about. A lone gunman for hire comes to a town where a number of competing gangs are on the verge of a street war. It’s all mixed in with the some early references to the JFK presidential campaign and the race riots of the early 60’s in one big mish-mash of a noir-ish tale.
I’m a huge, huge fan of Andrew Vachss especially of his Burke novels, but I gotta admit that this one left me a little flat. Vachss dialogue always reminds me of David Mamet at his worst with the vague threats and hidden messages, but this one contains some of his cheesiest. Add that to an even more confusing ending than he usually writes (Vachss likes to end his books with a bang), and this one gets a thumbs-down from me.
“Night Fall” (Nelson DeMille) – Reading a novel about the investigation of the crash of TWA Flight 800 while on a plane is probably not a great idea, but I had wanted to read this one since it was published and I finally got the chance recently. I’m not a big fan of DeMille’s work, but I do like the John Corey novels. Much like the loner characters in the previous two books, Corey is a can-do type of hero who works best outside the establishment. Unfortunately he is a former NYPD officer who is currently working with the federal government’s Anti-Terrorist Unit ala Jack Bauer in “24” so that doesn’t always work out for him.
This was a great read, not diminished at all by the fact that I knew exactly how the book was going to end. I’m not going to spoil anything for you, but the events lead us up to NYC in September of 2001 and the book was written in 2004. Doesn’t take a genius to connect those dots, so it worked just fine for me. I’ll keep reading John Corey books as long as Mr. DeMille wants to write them.
“Midnight Mass” (F. Paul Wilson) – I found this book one day while looking for some of the Repairman Jack novels, and failing to do so. It’s a tale about a world in which vampires have taken over and a small band of freedom fighters (including a priest falsely accused of pedophilia, a rabbi and a lesbian agnostic) from New Jersey fight on the side of Good.
Wilson returned to the classic (or semi-classic) interpretation of vampires for this one. No lovesick, poetry-reading, sensitive vamps in this one. Vampires are evil incarnate here, and they are held in check by the symbols of Christianity (the cross, the altar, holy water, etc…). In the forward to the novel, Wilson bemoaned the dearth of good ole’ vampire tales since Stephen King wrote “’salem’s Lot” so many years ago. Now, I’m not saying that this book even approaches the scares that King’s classic vampire novel gave us back in the day, but it was a nice change of pace from Anne Rice.
“Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West” (Gregory Maguire) – I started to read this one back in the summer and it never really left the ground for me. I found it again a week or so ago at my mother’s house and decided to give it another go. This, of course, is the book that inspired a Broadway musical of the same name. It tells the tale of the life of our favorite green girl from “The Wizard of Oz” from a far more sympathetic angle. The self-proclaimed Wicked Witch of the West was, in fact, an intelligent outsider in Munchinland whose past as a political insurgent (and terrorist) was, at times, aided by unforeseen forces.
Maguire’s novel puts his readers on the side of Elphaba from her roots as an odd-duck of a child born of dysfunctional parents to her untimely death at the hands of the little girl from Kansas who stole her sister’s shoes. He also manages to transform the fairly tame and antiseptic world of Oz (as rendered in the film, at least) to an incredibly diverse and interesting parallel to our own reality. I have to admit that some of those parallels are a bit beyond me, and I finished the novel with a great many questions, but I think really good books do that. “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman had me researching various cultures’ old myths almost as soon as I finished it. Great books leave you wanting more, and that’s what “Wicked” did for me.
“The Runes of the Earth” (Stephen R. Donaldson) – The first chapter in the Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. That probably doesn’t mean much to most of you, but for us fans this is a godsend. After a long wait, Donaldson brings us back to the Land that he wrote about in six previous books about a leper/writer who is transported to another world where he is believed to be the reincarnation of a legendary hero named Berek Half-hand. Covenant was suspected to be Berek because he had lost the first two fingers in his right hand to leprosy and also because of the white gold wedding band that he wore even after his wife left him. White gold was also wielded by the hero Berek in the past, and it gave its’ user power over the wild magic that was bound directly to the Land itself. Covenant’s belief (or Unbelief, as it were) that he was dreaming and that the Land wasn’t real led to some bittersweet consequences for our anti-hero. That played itself out during the First and Second Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.
This novel takes place ten years in our world after the events of the last trilogy. I mentioned “in our world” because time moves much fast in the Land than it does in ours. I’ve only just started it, but I can tell that Donaldson hasn’t lost his touch. I was going to wait until all four (aargh!!!) of the books were published, but I just couldn’t hold off. The first two series (both trilogies) are some of my favorite books ever written. I read them for the first time when I was in high school, but I’ve re-read each series four or five times since. I even persuaded Slyde to read them after years of lobbying, and he agreed that they were great books when he finally did read them. I know that I’m going to be pissed when I finish it because I’m going to want to read the next one immediately because that’s how we roll, but what can you do?
01/14/2006 9:33 AM EST
Hey kids! Happy New Year and all that stuff! Slyde sent me a note the other day to write something new for his blog, and after careful consideration I found that I have absolutely nothing to say. Nada. Zilch. Bupkiss. He and I can talk on the phone for an hour about his son’s most excellent day of pooping on the potty or what we think is going to happen on this week’s episode of “Lost”. This is very entertaining stuff to us (and to a few other we know), however, when trying to put pen to paper, something gets lost in the translation. Then, out of the blue, my friend PTJ started off a conversation with “So you’re pretty well-read...blah, blah, blah”. That got me thinking. I’m really not well-read. I do read a lot. Not as much as I should, but probably more than your average bear. I just don’t read the stuff that I SHOULD be reading. You see my taste in reading material matured when I was in the 9th grade or so. I like my fiction on the fantastic side, if you please. Sci-fi, Horror, Fantasy, etc… That’s what it’s all about for me. Oh, occasionally I will try to upgrade my literary…er…ness by picking up the latest book by Chuck Palahniuk or trying to get through “Moby Dick”, but I find that I’m mostly kidding myself. Just like Popeye, I am what I am.
So, in an effort to show my lack of literary range and to prove to Peter that I most certainly am NOT well-read, here are the last six books that I’ve read with a little mini-review for each. Enjoy!
“The Tomb” (F. Paul Wilson) – So I read this book way back in the mid-80’s when it first was published, and I just recently found it again. It’s central character, Repairman Jack, is a man with no identity who works outside the law “fixing” his customer’s problems. In this case, he was hired by an ex-girlfriend (who was none too fond of his sometimes violent occupation) to find one of her aunt’s who has gone missing. An Indian man who wants to find a necklace that some thug stole from his grandmother’s neck also hires him. Pretty soon we find that the two cases are connected with an ancient evil that has recently been re-awakened that involves both the family of the Indian gentleman and the British in-laws of his ex-girlfriend.
I always liked this book and it’s main protagonist. Jack is the kind of hero I enjoy reading stories about. He is dangerous and intelligent but with a heart of gold and an unwavering sense of loyalty and revenge. I would constantly check the bookstore for the many sequels that I hoped would follow only to be dissappointed again and again. I guess I stopped checking for them sometime in the mid-90’s. Well, Repairman Jack is back with a vengeance! Wilson re-released “The Tomb” in 1998 (updating some of background info that had previously dated it), and has written half a dozen sequels since then. I haven’t tried to hard, but I will eventually find them and read them like a madman. This is good macho stuff!
“Two Trains Running” (Andrew Vachss) – Think about Last Man Standing starring Bruce Willis. Better yet, think about the movie that film was based on, A Fistful of Dollars starring Clint Eastwood. Better yet, think about the movie THAT film was based on, Yojimbo starring Toshiro Mifune, and you will have an idea what this novel is about. A lone gunman for hire comes to a town where a number of competing gangs are on the verge of a street war. It’s all mixed in with the some early references to the JFK presidential campaign and the race riots of the early 60’s in one big mish-mash of a noir-ish tale.
I’m a huge, huge fan of Andrew Vachss especially of his Burke novels, but I gotta admit that this one left me a little flat. Vachss dialogue always reminds me of David Mamet at his worst with the vague threats and hidden messages, but this one contains some of his cheesiest. Add that to an even more confusing ending than he usually writes (Vachss likes to end his books with a bang), and this one gets a thumbs-down from me.
“Night Fall” (Nelson DeMille) – Reading a novel about the investigation of the crash of TWA Flight 800 while on a plane is probably not a great idea, but I had wanted to read this one since it was published and I finally got the chance recently. I’m not a big fan of DeMille’s work, but I do like the John Corey novels. Much like the loner characters in the previous two books, Corey is a can-do type of hero who works best outside the establishment. Unfortunately he is a former NYPD officer who is currently working with the federal government’s Anti-Terrorist Unit ala Jack Bauer in “24” so that doesn’t always work out for him.
This was a great read, not diminished at all by the fact that I knew exactly how the book was going to end. I’m not going to spoil anything for you, but the events lead us up to NYC in September of 2001 and the book was written in 2004. Doesn’t take a genius to connect those dots, so it worked just fine for me. I’ll keep reading John Corey books as long as Mr. DeMille wants to write them.
“Midnight Mass” (F. Paul Wilson) – I found this book one day while looking for some of the Repairman Jack novels, and failing to do so. It’s a tale about a world in which vampires have taken over and a small band of freedom fighters (including a priest falsely accused of pedophilia, a rabbi and a lesbian agnostic) from New Jersey fight on the side of Good.
Wilson returned to the classic (or semi-classic) interpretation of vampires for this one. No lovesick, poetry-reading, sensitive vamps in this one. Vampires are evil incarnate here, and they are held in check by the symbols of Christianity (the cross, the altar, holy water, etc…). In the forward to the novel, Wilson bemoaned the dearth of good ole’ vampire tales since Stephen King wrote “’salem’s Lot” so many years ago. Now, I’m not saying that this book even approaches the scares that King’s classic vampire novel gave us back in the day, but it was a nice change of pace from Anne Rice.
“Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West” (Gregory Maguire) – I started to read this one back in the summer and it never really left the ground for me. I found it again a week or so ago at my mother’s house and decided to give it another go. This, of course, is the book that inspired a Broadway musical of the same name. It tells the tale of the life of our favorite green girl from “The Wizard of Oz” from a far more sympathetic angle. The self-proclaimed Wicked Witch of the West was, in fact, an intelligent outsider in Munchinland whose past as a political insurgent (and terrorist) was, at times, aided by unforeseen forces.
Maguire’s novel puts his readers on the side of Elphaba from her roots as an odd-duck of a child born of dysfunctional parents to her untimely death at the hands of the little girl from Kansas who stole her sister’s shoes. He also manages to transform the fairly tame and antiseptic world of Oz (as rendered in the film, at least) to an incredibly diverse and interesting parallel to our own reality. I have to admit that some of those parallels are a bit beyond me, and I finished the novel with a great many questions, but I think really good books do that. “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman had me researching various cultures’ old myths almost as soon as I finished it. Great books leave you wanting more, and that’s what “Wicked” did for me.
“The Runes of the Earth” (Stephen R. Donaldson) – The first chapter in the Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. That probably doesn’t mean much to most of you, but for us fans this is a godsend. After a long wait, Donaldson brings us back to the Land that he wrote about in six previous books about a leper/writer who is transported to another world where he is believed to be the reincarnation of a legendary hero named Berek Half-hand. Covenant was suspected to be Berek because he had lost the first two fingers in his right hand to leprosy and also because of the white gold wedding band that he wore even after his wife left him. White gold was also wielded by the hero Berek in the past, and it gave its’ user power over the wild magic that was bound directly to the Land itself. Covenant’s belief (or Unbelief, as it were) that he was dreaming and that the Land wasn’t real led to some bittersweet consequences for our anti-hero. That played itself out during the First and Second Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.
This novel takes place ten years in our world after the events of the last trilogy. I mentioned “in our world” because time moves much fast in the Land than it does in ours. I’ve only just started it, but I can tell that Donaldson hasn’t lost his touch. I was going to wait until all four (aargh!!!) of the books were published, but I just couldn’t hold off. The first two series (both trilogies) are some of my favorite books ever written. I read them for the first time when I was in high school, but I’ve re-read each series four or five times since. I even persuaded Slyde to read them after years of lobbying, and he agreed that they were great books when he finally did read them. I know that I’m going to be pissed when I finish it because I’m going to want to read the next one immediately because that’s how we roll, but what can you do?
Dec 16, 2005
Tales of the Black Sock
By B.E. Earl
12/16/2005 7:51 PM EST
Hey kids! It’s Earl again with some non-movie related silliness for your reading entertainment. I took my usual early December vacation last week to do some additional damage to my liver, and this year’s hot spot was Key West, Florida. I’ve been to Key West a number of times of the past dozen years or so, and its’ always one of my favorite places to be. Great weather, great restaurants and bars, friendly locals and there is sure to be some kind of weirdness going on whenever I’m there. I’ve seen Jimmy Buffett perform on the street, I’ve seen drag queens galore, I’ve seen manatees up close and personal, but nothing…nothing prepared me for what I saw this past week at Fantasy Fest.
Let me give you a little background on Fantasy Fest in Key West. Fantasy Fest is their off-kilter version of something like Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Carnivale in Rio. It’s a chance for many, many people to come down and unwind in the warm sun and warmer nightlife of Key West and dance to their own tune, so to speak. Mind you, Key West is more than a little friendly to those with an alternative lifestyle, so you can imagine what happens when the city throws a party and asks everyone to REALLY let loose.
I’ve never been to Fantasy Fest before. I love Key West, but I prefer it during the down times when the streets aren’t clogged with tourists and there is no need for reservations at Louie’s Backyard. It’s just how I like/liked New Orleans. Great town, but I would never go during Mardi Gras. I like to actually be able to get into the bars and restaurants rather than shuffling along the sidewalks with all the other sweaty drunks. I had not planned on going to Fantasy Fest this year either, however, Mother Nature pointed her magic wand and made Fantasy Fest come to me.
You see, it was supposed to be the week before Halloween like it is scheduled every year. Costume parties, parades, Pimps & Ho’s parties, leather fetish nights, toga galas, the works. It happens every year culminating with the fat lady singing on the Sunday prior to Halloween. Hurricane Wilma begged to differ. While the hurricane hit the little island four days before the Fest was supposed to start, the city was a few feet underwater and there was no way it could support the influx of Fest-ers. When I read that city officials were planning on re-scheduling the OddFest, I knew that it would be during my trip down there. I mean I just KNEW it! I viewed this scheduling change with equal part dread and fascination. What we saw down there also turned out to be equal parts dread and fascination.
The official website for Fantasy Fest warns that nudity is illegal in the city of Key West and that all revelers were encouraged to remain clothed at all times. Apparently body paint is ok for the ladies as long as your privates remain private. The first night of Fantasy Fest, this seemed to be the case. As the days wore on, however, all bets were off. On Day 2 we saw a woman of 45 or so pedaling down the street on her bike wearing nothing but a smile. The cops didn’t seem to mind, and oh yeah…it was still 11:30 in the morning! Lady Godiva was getting the party started early.
I’ve never been to a nudist colony or beach before, but I had heard horror stories of flabby old men and women, most of whom you would prefer to see wearing quite a few layers of clothes. This describes the majority of those that chose to be naked during Fantasy Fest. Whoops…there goes grandma and grandpa, and…ouch…she’s actually wearing more than him. How does he keep that black sock on? Yeah…you read it. One black sock. That scene played itself over and over again during our time at Fantasy Fest.
Oh sure. There were some attractive folks who decided on going au natural, but they were few and far between. There was one woman we kept running into who was mostly nude and very attractive and she seemed content with just standing around while everyone under the moon posed for pictures with her. To that young lady I say well done. Most of them, however, liked going to the gym as much as they disliked wearing clothing. Don’t get me wrong. I had a pisser down there! These people had no hang-ups whatsoever and they all looked like they were having a wonderful time. I often wondered how they purchased drinks since none of them had any place to put money, but they all seemed to be appropriately liquored up so maybe folks were just giving up booze. I dunno.
So if you are ever thinking of attending Fantasy Fest, let me plant this little thought in your head. Go down to the local supermarket sometime during the day when all the retirees are out shopping for kitty litter and prune juice and picture all of them wandering the streets of Key West wearing g-strings and the aforementioned black sock. If you are able to keep your lunch down, then take a trip and keep your sense of humor because a sense of humor is all that you need to keep you going. Oh…and one black sock of course.
12/16/2005 7:51 PM EST
Hey kids! It’s Earl again with some non-movie related silliness for your reading entertainment. I took my usual early December vacation last week to do some additional damage to my liver, and this year’s hot spot was Key West, Florida. I’ve been to Key West a number of times of the past dozen years or so, and its’ always one of my favorite places to be. Great weather, great restaurants and bars, friendly locals and there is sure to be some kind of weirdness going on whenever I’m there. I’ve seen Jimmy Buffett perform on the street, I’ve seen drag queens galore, I’ve seen manatees up close and personal, but nothing…nothing prepared me for what I saw this past week at Fantasy Fest.
Let me give you a little background on Fantasy Fest in Key West. Fantasy Fest is their off-kilter version of something like Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Carnivale in Rio. It’s a chance for many, many people to come down and unwind in the warm sun and warmer nightlife of Key West and dance to their own tune, so to speak. Mind you, Key West is more than a little friendly to those with an alternative lifestyle, so you can imagine what happens when the city throws a party and asks everyone to REALLY let loose.
I’ve never been to Fantasy Fest before. I love Key West, but I prefer it during the down times when the streets aren’t clogged with tourists and there is no need for reservations at Louie’s Backyard. It’s just how I like/liked New Orleans. Great town, but I would never go during Mardi Gras. I like to actually be able to get into the bars and restaurants rather than shuffling along the sidewalks with all the other sweaty drunks. I had not planned on going to Fantasy Fest this year either, however, Mother Nature pointed her magic wand and made Fantasy Fest come to me.
You see, it was supposed to be the week before Halloween like it is scheduled every year. Costume parties, parades, Pimps & Ho’s parties, leather fetish nights, toga galas, the works. It happens every year culminating with the fat lady singing on the Sunday prior to Halloween. Hurricane Wilma begged to differ. While the hurricane hit the little island four days before the Fest was supposed to start, the city was a few feet underwater and there was no way it could support the influx of Fest-ers. When I read that city officials were planning on re-scheduling the OddFest, I knew that it would be during my trip down there. I mean I just KNEW it! I viewed this scheduling change with equal part dread and fascination. What we saw down there also turned out to be equal parts dread and fascination.
The official website for Fantasy Fest warns that nudity is illegal in the city of Key West and that all revelers were encouraged to remain clothed at all times. Apparently body paint is ok for the ladies as long as your privates remain private. The first night of Fantasy Fest, this seemed to be the case. As the days wore on, however, all bets were off. On Day 2 we saw a woman of 45 or so pedaling down the street on her bike wearing nothing but a smile. The cops didn’t seem to mind, and oh yeah…it was still 11:30 in the morning! Lady Godiva was getting the party started early.
I’ve never been to a nudist colony or beach before, but I had heard horror stories of flabby old men and women, most of whom you would prefer to see wearing quite a few layers of clothes. This describes the majority of those that chose to be naked during Fantasy Fest. Whoops…there goes grandma and grandpa, and…ouch…she’s actually wearing more than him. How does he keep that black sock on? Yeah…you read it. One black sock. That scene played itself over and over again during our time at Fantasy Fest.
Oh sure. There were some attractive folks who decided on going au natural, but they were few and far between. There was one woman we kept running into who was mostly nude and very attractive and she seemed content with just standing around while everyone under the moon posed for pictures with her. To that young lady I say well done. Most of them, however, liked going to the gym as much as they disliked wearing clothing. Don’t get me wrong. I had a pisser down there! These people had no hang-ups whatsoever and they all looked like they were having a wonderful time. I often wondered how they purchased drinks since none of them had any place to put money, but they all seemed to be appropriately liquored up so maybe folks were just giving up booze. I dunno.
So if you are ever thinking of attending Fantasy Fest, let me plant this little thought in your head. Go down to the local supermarket sometime during the day when all the retirees are out shopping for kitty litter and prune juice and picture all of them wandering the streets of Key West wearing g-strings and the aforementioned black sock. If you are able to keep your lunch down, then take a trip and keep your sense of humor because a sense of humor is all that you need to keep you going. Oh…and one black sock of course.
Nov 10, 2005
Anticip....p.p...p...ation
By B.E. Earl
11/10/2005 8:01 PM EST
Hey Kids! Earl here again with my most anticipated films of the upcoming Holiday Season. It’s been a while since I’ve been this excited about the late studio (both big and small) releases. Okay…it hasn’t been a while, thanks to Peter Jackson and his incredible “Lord of the Rings” trilogy that was an absolute gift for movie lovers for three straight years. However, the sheer weight of potentially great films that are just around the corner makes this season one that will most likely finally get the film industry out of the doldrums that they have been experiencing of late. Yeah…I’m not very happy with the “most likely finally” part of that last sentence either. Let’s move on, shall we?
Holiday season means “blockbuster” for very many movie fans, and this season doesn’t appear likely to disappoint. With guaranteed hits in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, King Kong, and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the big studios executives are already spending their Christmas bonuses. There is also a blockbuster novel or two that have been transformed to the silver screen such as Memoirs of a Geisha (with an all Asian cast) from Rob Marshall, and long-time Broadway successes like Rent and The Producers that are sure to succeed. Aside from these, the following list of films are those that I would most want to plunk down my $9.50 for:
· Get Rich or Die Tryin’ – I know, I know. A biopic of 50 Cent seems to be a bit out of my taste when it comes to movies, but this one is directed by Irish auteur Jim Sheriden (My Left Foot, In the Name of the Father). He looks to add some weight to this story of a street kid who sets asides his drug-dealing ways to become a rap star.
· Walk the Line – I’ve gotten a late start on my fascination with the Man in Black, but this looks to be an awesome portrayal of life and times of Johnny Cash as played by a spot-on Joaquin Phoenix. Both Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon (as June Carter Cash) do all their own singing, so this could even be a step-up in Oscar-worthy performances from Jamie Foxx in last year’s Ray.
· The Ice Harvest – Directed by Harold Ramis and including the talents of John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Randy Quaid (why is his face so big?) and Connie Nielsen, this looks to be the hit that we Cusack fans have been waiting some number of years for. Or maybe not.
· Aeon Flux – Just to see Charlize Theron jumping around barely dressed while shooting guns. Nice!
· Brokeback Mountain – Just kidding. I saw a seemingly endless trailer for this hunk ‘o junk the other day and I thought I was going to pass out in my popcorn. Gay cowboys? Well, Slyde might like it.
· The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada – Tommy Lee Jones’ directorial debut, this film is about a Texas rancher intent on avenging the murder of a Mexican friend. Jones also stars, and it just has that feel about it that could make it a big winner come Oscar time. It has already cleaned up at Cannes winning the writing award (for Guillermo Arriaga) and the acting prize for Jones. I can’t wait for this one.
· Hostel – A good old Horror yarn about three American tourists whose stay in an Eastern European hostel goes horribly wrong. Quentin Tarantino is the executive producer (no guarantee) and Eli Roth of Cabin Fever fame directs.
· The New World – This one has all the trappings of a massive box office bomb. Lavish costume period piece starring Colin Farrell and directed by genius director. It’s not Alexander by Oliver Stone, but it could be. Terence Malick, who looks to rebound from the poor critical and commercial success of The Thin Red Line, directs this tale of the violent colonization of the Americas. If he can make this even half as good as Badlands, then it will be well worth seeing.
There are a few others in the mix that look to be exciting, but those are the ones that I am most eager to see on the big screen. I was going to include Big Momma’s House 2, but since that doesn’t come out until late January I thought it might not be appropriate to include it with a Holiday Season round up. Maybe when we talk about 2006’s Oscar races. Maybe.
11/10/2005 8:01 PM EST
Hey Kids! Earl here again with my most anticipated films of the upcoming Holiday Season. It’s been a while since I’ve been this excited about the late studio (both big and small) releases. Okay…it hasn’t been a while, thanks to Peter Jackson and his incredible “Lord of the Rings” trilogy that was an absolute gift for movie lovers for three straight years. However, the sheer weight of potentially great films that are just around the corner makes this season one that will most likely finally get the film industry out of the doldrums that they have been experiencing of late. Yeah…I’m not very happy with the “most likely finally” part of that last sentence either. Let’s move on, shall we?
Holiday season means “blockbuster” for very many movie fans, and this season doesn’t appear likely to disappoint. With guaranteed hits in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, King Kong, and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the big studios executives are already spending their Christmas bonuses. There is also a blockbuster novel or two that have been transformed to the silver screen such as Memoirs of a Geisha (with an all Asian cast) from Rob Marshall, and long-time Broadway successes like Rent and The Producers that are sure to succeed. Aside from these, the following list of films are those that I would most want to plunk down my $9.50 for:
· Get Rich or Die Tryin’ – I know, I know. A biopic of 50 Cent seems to be a bit out of my taste when it comes to movies, but this one is directed by Irish auteur Jim Sheriden (My Left Foot, In the Name of the Father). He looks to add some weight to this story of a street kid who sets asides his drug-dealing ways to become a rap star.
· Walk the Line – I’ve gotten a late start on my fascination with the Man in Black, but this looks to be an awesome portrayal of life and times of Johnny Cash as played by a spot-on Joaquin Phoenix. Both Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon (as June Carter Cash) do all their own singing, so this could even be a step-up in Oscar-worthy performances from Jamie Foxx in last year’s Ray.
· The Ice Harvest – Directed by Harold Ramis and including the talents of John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Randy Quaid (why is his face so big?) and Connie Nielsen, this looks to be the hit that we Cusack fans have been waiting some number of years for. Or maybe not.
· Aeon Flux – Just to see Charlize Theron jumping around barely dressed while shooting guns. Nice!
· Brokeback Mountain – Just kidding. I saw a seemingly endless trailer for this hunk ‘o junk the other day and I thought I was going to pass out in my popcorn. Gay cowboys? Well, Slyde might like it.
· The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada – Tommy Lee Jones’ directorial debut, this film is about a Texas rancher intent on avenging the murder of a Mexican friend. Jones also stars, and it just has that feel about it that could make it a big winner come Oscar time. It has already cleaned up at Cannes winning the writing award (for Guillermo Arriaga) and the acting prize for Jones. I can’t wait for this one.
· Hostel – A good old Horror yarn about three American tourists whose stay in an Eastern European hostel goes horribly wrong. Quentin Tarantino is the executive producer (no guarantee) and Eli Roth of Cabin Fever fame directs.
· The New World – This one has all the trappings of a massive box office bomb. Lavish costume period piece starring Colin Farrell and directed by genius director. It’s not Alexander by Oliver Stone, but it could be. Terence Malick, who looks to rebound from the poor critical and commercial success of The Thin Red Line, directs this tale of the violent colonization of the Americas. If he can make this even half as good as Badlands, then it will be well worth seeing.
There are a few others in the mix that look to be exciting, but those are the ones that I am most eager to see on the big screen. I was going to include Big Momma’s House 2, but since that doesn’t come out until late January I thought it might not be appropriate to include it with a Holiday Season round up. Maybe when we talk about 2006’s Oscar races. Maybe.
Oct 25, 2005
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Halloween)
10/25/2005 10:36 PM EST
By B.E. Earl
Hey kids! Earl here again in response to Slyde’s claim that I “wouldn’t know a good horror move from a teletubbies marathon”. That’s right, I left in his misspelling of the word “movie” and his lack of an apostrophe at the end of “teletubbies”. Dick! Since Halloween is right around the corner, I thought I would share with you my Top 5 favorite Horror films, or at least the Top 5 that I could think of off of the top of my head. Whew! Quite a few “tops” in that last sentence, weren’t there?
My only criteria for including a film on this list is that said film had to have scared me. Not startled me or grossed me out, but out and out scared me. You see, I love Horror films, but very few actually achieve their goal with me. I dig werewolf films, but besides a few scenes in The Howling and Dog Soldiers (and one really scary scene in Bad Moon), they make me grin more than they frighten me. I like zombie movies, but I haven’t found any that have truly terrified me. Don’t get me wrong. Dead people walking around is scary stuff, but not something that has ever made me lose any sleep. Don’t even get me started on vampire movies. I’d have trouble naming even one that was truly scary. No, I prefer my scares to be a little more psychological and a little less visceral. So without further ado:
5. Halloween (1978) – I can’t have a Halloween-inspired Horror film list without the granddaddy of all slasher flicks. Some prefer Psycho or even Friday the 13th, but for my money it has never been done better than John Carpenter’s tale of Michael Myers and the night he came home. This is just an amazing film and it truly proves that less is more when it comes to a good scare. Halloween can be shown (and is shown) on network TV with the bare minimum of editing. No on-screen deaths, no graphic display of the victim’s bodies, and almost no profanity at all. Just a classic story of madman guided by some mysterious force to wreak havoc on an innocent town. The accompanying score, by John Carpenter himself, is so perfect that the mere sound of it is enough to frighten some people. Bonus shout-out to Mr. Carpenter for also making The Fog and The Thing, two Horror films that work almost as well as Halloween but fall short of making on my list.
4. The Shining (1980) – I used to be a big fan of Stephen King and I’ve always been one of Stanley Kubrick, so it should be no surprise that this film makes it onto my list. While the film version wound up being quite different from the novel, I feel that in many ways the film worked much better as a Horror story than the novel ever did. Stephen King always had a problem ending his novels (try figuring out why “The Stand” doesn’t end 100 pages earlier), and “The Shining” was no different. Instead of turning Jack Torrance into an actual monster (as King did in the novel), Kubrick’s version of Jack was much less over-the-top and much more sinister. The utter isolation that the movie portrays lends itself to the madness that eventually overcomes Jack, or IS IT madness that overcomes him? Is it a ghost story or is it a story of a man driven insane by a combination of solitude and his own demons? And just what the hell is going on in that room with the dude dressed like a dog? Scary and beautifully made, The Shining is a must-see for Horror fans of all ages.
3. Event Horizon (1997) – I just know that I am going to have a hard time explaining why I’ve included this film on my list. I didn’t like it when I first saw it, and I’m not so sure I even like it now when I think about it. But this film grew on me, and not in a good way. It is just creepy as all hell. From Sam Neill walking around with no eyes toward the end to those short (thankfully) peeks into the hell dimension that the ship came back from, this is one creepy film. It’s one of those movies that I will not watch if I see that it is going to be on, because its’ just too damn scary and I know I’ll be pissed at myself for getting creeped-out by a crappy film. Let us just move on.
2. The Omen (1976) – For all intensive purposes, I could have included Rosemary’s Baby or The Exorcist in this slot, but The Omen always frightened me a hell of a lot more than any of those other films. I think that one of the reasons is that the accompanying score by Jerry Goldsmith (much like Carpenter’s in Halloween) added so much to the terror factor in the film that it is difficult to separate one from the other. I especially love the ending shot of the movie when Damien looks over to the camera and gives the viewer in the audience a creepy little smile. Brrrrr! Chills people! Maybe it has something to do with evil kids, but this is a film that is delightfully scary. Damn, I gotta go out and get this one on DVD!
1. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (1973) – This is the grand poobah of all scary films in my humble opinion. Sure, it was a cheesy made-for-TV film starring Kim Darby that probably played on a Sunday night when it was first shown, but oh the memories! In case you are unfamiliar with this little gem, the action revolves around a couple who have inherited a mansion from some long-gone relative. A bricked up fireplace is opened and a whole host of little pointy-headed demon critters come flooding out. You see, these dudes are what became of Ms. Darby’s ancestors and they want her to join their little club. Sounds goofy, right? Yet this was a movie that I had to watch every single time it was on when I was younger and it would scare the livin’ bejesus out of me for weeks! I haven’t seen it in a while, but I was an adult the last time I saw it and it still did the trick for me. Little demon walking across the bathroom floor with a straight razor just as big as it is coming to get you in the shower = scary in my book. If you can find it, give it a try and see how it ranks on your fright-O-meter.
Well, that should do about wrap it up. Maybe Slyde will grace us with some of his favorite scary movies some time in the near future, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. Until next time, have a Happy Halloween! - Earl
By B.E. Earl
Hey kids! Earl here again in response to Slyde’s claim that I “wouldn’t know a good horror move from a teletubbies marathon”. That’s right, I left in his misspelling of the word “movie” and his lack of an apostrophe at the end of “teletubbies”. Dick! Since Halloween is right around the corner, I thought I would share with you my Top 5 favorite Horror films, or at least the Top 5 that I could think of off of the top of my head. Whew! Quite a few “tops” in that last sentence, weren’t there?
My only criteria for including a film on this list is that said film had to have scared me. Not startled me or grossed me out, but out and out scared me. You see, I love Horror films, but very few actually achieve their goal with me. I dig werewolf films, but besides a few scenes in The Howling and Dog Soldiers (and one really scary scene in Bad Moon), they make me grin more than they frighten me. I like zombie movies, but I haven’t found any that have truly terrified me. Don’t get me wrong. Dead people walking around is scary stuff, but not something that has ever made me lose any sleep. Don’t even get me started on vampire movies. I’d have trouble naming even one that was truly scary. No, I prefer my scares to be a little more psychological and a little less visceral. So without further ado:
5. Halloween (1978) – I can’t have a Halloween-inspired Horror film list without the granddaddy of all slasher flicks. Some prefer Psycho or even Friday the 13th, but for my money it has never been done better than John Carpenter’s tale of Michael Myers and the night he came home. This is just an amazing film and it truly proves that less is more when it comes to a good scare. Halloween can be shown (and is shown) on network TV with the bare minimum of editing. No on-screen deaths, no graphic display of the victim’s bodies, and almost no profanity at all. Just a classic story of madman guided by some mysterious force to wreak havoc on an innocent town. The accompanying score, by John Carpenter himself, is so perfect that the mere sound of it is enough to frighten some people. Bonus shout-out to Mr. Carpenter for also making The Fog and The Thing, two Horror films that work almost as well as Halloween but fall short of making on my list.
4. The Shining (1980) – I used to be a big fan of Stephen King and I’ve always been one of Stanley Kubrick, so it should be no surprise that this film makes it onto my list. While the film version wound up being quite different from the novel, I feel that in many ways the film worked much better as a Horror story than the novel ever did. Stephen King always had a problem ending his novels (try figuring out why “The Stand” doesn’t end 100 pages earlier), and “The Shining” was no different. Instead of turning Jack Torrance into an actual monster (as King did in the novel), Kubrick’s version of Jack was much less over-the-top and much more sinister. The utter isolation that the movie portrays lends itself to the madness that eventually overcomes Jack, or IS IT madness that overcomes him? Is it a ghost story or is it a story of a man driven insane by a combination of solitude and his own demons? And just what the hell is going on in that room with the dude dressed like a dog? Scary and beautifully made, The Shining is a must-see for Horror fans of all ages.
3. Event Horizon (1997) – I just know that I am going to have a hard time explaining why I’ve included this film on my list. I didn’t like it when I first saw it, and I’m not so sure I even like it now when I think about it. But this film grew on me, and not in a good way. It is just creepy as all hell. From Sam Neill walking around with no eyes toward the end to those short (thankfully) peeks into the hell dimension that the ship came back from, this is one creepy film. It’s one of those movies that I will not watch if I see that it is going to be on, because its’ just too damn scary and I know I’ll be pissed at myself for getting creeped-out by a crappy film. Let us just move on.
2. The Omen (1976) – For all intensive purposes, I could have included Rosemary’s Baby or The Exorcist in this slot, but The Omen always frightened me a hell of a lot more than any of those other films. I think that one of the reasons is that the accompanying score by Jerry Goldsmith (much like Carpenter’s in Halloween) added so much to the terror factor in the film that it is difficult to separate one from the other. I especially love the ending shot of the movie when Damien looks over to the camera and gives the viewer in the audience a creepy little smile. Brrrrr! Chills people! Maybe it has something to do with evil kids, but this is a film that is delightfully scary. Damn, I gotta go out and get this one on DVD!
1. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (1973) – This is the grand poobah of all scary films in my humble opinion. Sure, it was a cheesy made-for-TV film starring Kim Darby that probably played on a Sunday night when it was first shown, but oh the memories! In case you are unfamiliar with this little gem, the action revolves around a couple who have inherited a mansion from some long-gone relative. A bricked up fireplace is opened and a whole host of little pointy-headed demon critters come flooding out. You see, these dudes are what became of Ms. Darby’s ancestors and they want her to join their little club. Sounds goofy, right? Yet this was a movie that I had to watch every single time it was on when I was younger and it would scare the livin’ bejesus out of me for weeks! I haven’t seen it in a while, but I was an adult the last time I saw it and it still did the trick for me. Little demon walking across the bathroom floor with a straight razor just as big as it is coming to get you in the shower = scary in my book. If you can find it, give it a try and see how it ranks on your fright-O-meter.
Well, that should do about wrap it up. Maybe Slyde will grace us with some of his favorite scary movies some time in the near future, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. Until next time, have a Happy Halloween! - Earl
Oct 6, 2005
"SERENITY" NOW!!!
By B.E. Earl
10/06/2005 6:27 PM EST
At the rate I have been posting lately, as opposed to Earl, we should probably change this site's name to Earlsblog.com. Anyhow, Earl has graced us with another review, this time for the new movie Serenity. Anyhow, take it away Earl.... - Slyde
Hey kids! It’s Earl again as Slyde is apparently way too lazy/busy to contribute to his own site. I’d like to share with you some of my thoughts about the new film Serenity which opened up last weekend to so-so business here in the ‘ole U.S. of A. Serenity is a sequel, of sorts, of the late, great Fox television series “Firefly” created by Joss Whedon. Now one thing you have to know is that I am a late convert to the cult of Whedon, but a cultist nonetheless so I may not be the most objective kid in the sandbox. I’m actually not going to give you my review of the film (which I thought was fantastic), so hopefully my objectivity, or lack thereof, won’t come into play. No sir, my intent is to give you some background info on the television show so that you might be better prepared when you go see the film. AND YOU WILL GO SEE THE FILM! Sorry, got taken over by Satan there for a moment. I’ll try not to let it happen again.
The Setting
“Firefly” is set roughly 500 years in the future. The human race has moved on from the “Earth that was” or the planet that we currently call home. You see, our numbers had swelled so vastly that we needed to colonize other worlds and solar systems. The last remaining great economic powers of old Earth were the United States and China. Just about everyone speaks both English and Chinese, although it seems that they only slip into Chinese when yelling at each other or cursing (maybe to slip past the old FOX censors, eh?). The main governing body of the galaxy is the Alliance.
The Alliance runs the central planets in the system with a closed fist, but the outlying planets govern themselves mostly in a fairly straightforward metaphor for the United States during the time of the Old West. In fact, “Firefly” is as much of a Western as it is a piece of Science Fiction. The territories are hard places to live, but they do have a sense of independence from the Alliance. The Alliance doesn’t appear to be the obvious evil that the Empire was in Star Wars, however, there is something dodgy about it. So dodgy that a group of planets fought a war against the Alliance in order to guarantee their own independence. It didn’t work as the Alliance won, and the freedom fighters suffered enormous casualties.
The Ship
Serenity is not only the name of the film, it is also the name of the Firefly-class spaceship that many of the characters of the show and film call home. It’s a fairly cool-looking hunk o’ junk that is used mostly as a cargo ship by the crew, although it is that cargo that often gets them into trouble. You see, the crew of the Serenity works a bit outside of the law. They’ll handle smuggling jobs, illicit transport, and even outright robbery to make a living. We’ll talk about that in a bit. The boat (as they refer to Serenity) is also named after a famous battle in the previously mentioned war. It was the battle that finally broke the backs of the freedom fighters leading to an overwhelming victory by the Alliance.
The Crew
Captain Mal Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) – Mal is a former soldier with the losing side of the war with the Alliance. He, in fact, was one of the survivors of the battle of Serenity Valley along with his second-in-command, Zoe. Mal has got a lot of issues. He’s obviously not happy with the Alliance and he is constantly being tormented by his inner demons. His choice to turn to a life of smuggling is just another way of thumbing his nose at the oppressive Alliance. However, he appears to be a good man with a heard of gold, ding! He’s also quite in love with Inara, a prostitute who lives on one of the shuttles of the Serenity. Secretly, of course.
Zoe (Gina Torres) – Zoe, as previously mentioned, is a former soldier who followed Mal into a life of smuggling. She is the consummate warrior woman, clearly not someone whom you would want to mess with. She is unwaveringly loyal to Mal and she wears her leather outfit quite nicely, thank you.
Hoban “Wash” Washburn (Alan Tudyk) – Wash is the pilot of the Serenity, and the husband of Zoe. He’s mainly there for comic relief. We don’t know much about his past, but it doesn’t appear to matter that much. He wears Hawaiian shirts and has plastic dinosaurs about his console, and that is about as much as we need to know.
Kaylee Frye (Jewel Staite) – Kaylee is the resident mechanic on board the ship. She’s a bit of a spitfire whose mechanical skills appear to be more intuitive than learned through any formal education. She is the wide-eyed innocent of the crew, even while possessing a more-than healthy sexual appetite. Kaylee is fun.
Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin) – Jayne is the muscle on the crew. Although he doesn’t really have a title, he was jokingly referred to as the public relations officer. He’s simple and downright mean, but you want to have him on your side in a firefight. He also has, on more than one occasion, shown an inclination towards turning on his fellow crewmembers, and he can be bribed to switch sides if the money is right.
Inara Serra (Morena Baccarin) – Inara is a prostitute who rents out one of the two shuttles on board Serenity in a mutually beneficial agreement between Mal and her. You see, prostitutes are a bit different in this world then they are in ours. Companions, as they prefer to be called, are treated with incredible respect by the civilized worlds. They go through a tremendous amount of training to become a companion, and they are incredibly bright and knowledgeable in many areas. Having a resident companion on board is beneficial to crew for her contacts and the doors that those contacts can open. She also lends an air of respectability to the otherwise rag-tag group of travelers. She is also quite in love with Mal, secretly of course.
Shepherd Book (Ron Glass) – Damn it was nice to see Ron Glass working regularly again. The well-named Book is hard to read by his cover. He is a man of religion, but he has admitted that Book is not even his real name. His mysterious past has something to do with either a military, political or consular post within the Alliance. He is Mal’s conscience on the ship.
Dr. Simon Tam (Sean Mahar) – Simon and his sister, River, are fugitives from the Alliance. Simon came aboard Serenity with his sister as his cargo. He was eventually found out by Mal the rest of the crew, although Mal agreed to keep him and his sister on board as crew. Simon is a brilliant doctor who gave up a great career to save the life of his sister. He’s also kind of boring.
River Tam (Summer Glau) – River is a gifted teenager who was taken by the Alliance at a young age and manipulated into a tool that they could use for a number of reasons. She has some psychic abilities and she is quite the talented fighter. She is also an absolute mental mess. In whatever procedures the Alliance used to enhance her abilities, they also managed to strip out some of her brains ability to operate in a so-called normal manner. She is highly sought after by the Alliance because of her abilities and the secrets that she may have stumbled onto. Secrets that could hurt the Alliance at its very core.
Okay. Now you are ready to go out and see Serenity. It has been rumored that if this film grosses more than $80 million worldwide, there will be a sequel or two. Joss Whedon had apparently scripted out 5 seasons of “Firefly” and he still has stories to tell. So go see it. You don’t want me to use my Satan voice again, do you?
10/06/2005 6:27 PM EST
At the rate I have been posting lately, as opposed to Earl, we should probably change this site's name to Earlsblog.com. Anyhow, Earl has graced us with another review, this time for the new movie Serenity. Anyhow, take it away Earl.... - Slyde
Hey kids! It’s Earl again as Slyde is apparently way too lazy/busy to contribute to his own site. I’d like to share with you some of my thoughts about the new film Serenity which opened up last weekend to so-so business here in the ‘ole U.S. of A. Serenity is a sequel, of sorts, of the late, great Fox television series “Firefly” created by Joss Whedon. Now one thing you have to know is that I am a late convert to the cult of Whedon, but a cultist nonetheless so I may not be the most objective kid in the sandbox. I’m actually not going to give you my review of the film (which I thought was fantastic), so hopefully my objectivity, or lack thereof, won’t come into play. No sir, my intent is to give you some background info on the television show so that you might be better prepared when you go see the film. AND YOU WILL GO SEE THE FILM! Sorry, got taken over by Satan there for a moment. I’ll try not to let it happen again.
The Setting
“Firefly” is set roughly 500 years in the future. The human race has moved on from the “Earth that was” or the planet that we currently call home. You see, our numbers had swelled so vastly that we needed to colonize other worlds and solar systems. The last remaining great economic powers of old Earth were the United States and China. Just about everyone speaks both English and Chinese, although it seems that they only slip into Chinese when yelling at each other or cursing (maybe to slip past the old FOX censors, eh?). The main governing body of the galaxy is the Alliance.
The Alliance runs the central planets in the system with a closed fist, but the outlying planets govern themselves mostly in a fairly straightforward metaphor for the United States during the time of the Old West. In fact, “Firefly” is as much of a Western as it is a piece of Science Fiction. The territories are hard places to live, but they do have a sense of independence from the Alliance. The Alliance doesn’t appear to be the obvious evil that the Empire was in Star Wars, however, there is something dodgy about it. So dodgy that a group of planets fought a war against the Alliance in order to guarantee their own independence. It didn’t work as the Alliance won, and the freedom fighters suffered enormous casualties.
The Ship
Serenity is not only the name of the film, it is also the name of the Firefly-class spaceship that many of the characters of the show and film call home. It’s a fairly cool-looking hunk o’ junk that is used mostly as a cargo ship by the crew, although it is that cargo that often gets them into trouble. You see, the crew of the Serenity works a bit outside of the law. They’ll handle smuggling jobs, illicit transport, and even outright robbery to make a living. We’ll talk about that in a bit. The boat (as they refer to Serenity) is also named after a famous battle in the previously mentioned war. It was the battle that finally broke the backs of the freedom fighters leading to an overwhelming victory by the Alliance.
The Crew
Captain Mal Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) – Mal is a former soldier with the losing side of the war with the Alliance. He, in fact, was one of the survivors of the battle of Serenity Valley along with his second-in-command, Zoe. Mal has got a lot of issues. He’s obviously not happy with the Alliance and he is constantly being tormented by his inner demons. His choice to turn to a life of smuggling is just another way of thumbing his nose at the oppressive Alliance. However, he appears to be a good man with a heard of gold, ding! He’s also quite in love with Inara, a prostitute who lives on one of the shuttles of the Serenity. Secretly, of course.
Zoe (Gina Torres) – Zoe, as previously mentioned, is a former soldier who followed Mal into a life of smuggling. She is the consummate warrior woman, clearly not someone whom you would want to mess with. She is unwaveringly loyal to Mal and she wears her leather outfit quite nicely, thank you.
Hoban “Wash” Washburn (Alan Tudyk) – Wash is the pilot of the Serenity, and the husband of Zoe. He’s mainly there for comic relief. We don’t know much about his past, but it doesn’t appear to matter that much. He wears Hawaiian shirts and has plastic dinosaurs about his console, and that is about as much as we need to know.
Kaylee Frye (Jewel Staite) – Kaylee is the resident mechanic on board the ship. She’s a bit of a spitfire whose mechanical skills appear to be more intuitive than learned through any formal education. She is the wide-eyed innocent of the crew, even while possessing a more-than healthy sexual appetite. Kaylee is fun.
Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin) – Jayne is the muscle on the crew. Although he doesn’t really have a title, he was jokingly referred to as the public relations officer. He’s simple and downright mean, but you want to have him on your side in a firefight. He also has, on more than one occasion, shown an inclination towards turning on his fellow crewmembers, and he can be bribed to switch sides if the money is right.
Inara Serra (Morena Baccarin) – Inara is a prostitute who rents out one of the two shuttles on board Serenity in a mutually beneficial agreement between Mal and her. You see, prostitutes are a bit different in this world then they are in ours. Companions, as they prefer to be called, are treated with incredible respect by the civilized worlds. They go through a tremendous amount of training to become a companion, and they are incredibly bright and knowledgeable in many areas. Having a resident companion on board is beneficial to crew for her contacts and the doors that those contacts can open. She also lends an air of respectability to the otherwise rag-tag group of travelers. She is also quite in love with Mal, secretly of course.
Shepherd Book (Ron Glass) – Damn it was nice to see Ron Glass working regularly again. The well-named Book is hard to read by his cover. He is a man of religion, but he has admitted that Book is not even his real name. His mysterious past has something to do with either a military, political or consular post within the Alliance. He is Mal’s conscience on the ship.
Dr. Simon Tam (Sean Mahar) – Simon and his sister, River, are fugitives from the Alliance. Simon came aboard Serenity with his sister as his cargo. He was eventually found out by Mal the rest of the crew, although Mal agreed to keep him and his sister on board as crew. Simon is a brilliant doctor who gave up a great career to save the life of his sister. He’s also kind of boring.
River Tam (Summer Glau) – River is a gifted teenager who was taken by the Alliance at a young age and manipulated into a tool that they could use for a number of reasons. She has some psychic abilities and she is quite the talented fighter. She is also an absolute mental mess. In whatever procedures the Alliance used to enhance her abilities, they also managed to strip out some of her brains ability to operate in a so-called normal manner. She is highly sought after by the Alliance because of her abilities and the secrets that she may have stumbled onto. Secrets that could hurt the Alliance at its very core.
Okay. Now you are ready to go out and see Serenity. It has been rumored that if this film grosses more than $80 million worldwide, there will be a sequel or two. Joss Whedon had apparently scripted out 5 seasons of “Firefly” and he still has stories to tell. So go see it. You don’t want me to use my Satan voice again, do you?
Oct 2, 2005
Oh, the HORROR of it all!
by B.E. Earl
10/02/2005 11:50 PM EST
As I said in the last post, here is another great article written by B.E. Earl. Since he gave it to me over a month ago, some of the "Upcoming" movie references may now be a tad outdated. Please blame my excessive laziness for this fact, and not the fact that B.E. wouldn't know a good horror movie if it came up and bit him on the ass (which it just might, one day...those things are ORNERY) - Slyde.
Hi, folks! Earl here. I recently saw a commercial for a new horror film that will be coming out to a theater near you shortly. It’s called The Cave, and I was interested enough to check out some of the details on IMDB.com yesterday. Not “interested” in actually going to see the film, but more like “interested” in how derivative it appears to be. The trailer showed a group of divers (or some kind of adventure seekers) getting trapped in a network of underwater caves. Then some kind of Big Bad begins to pick them off, and it appears as if it either infects some of the team members or takes over their bodies in some “body snatcher/the killer is amongst us” kind of way. I don’t know the exact details, and maybe I never will. But three films jumped to mind as soon as I saw this commercial. John Carpenter’s version of The Thing (victims assimilated by beastie in remote location), Pitch Black (maybe because Cole Hauser is in both), and Alien (replace deep space with deep caves…now THAT is clever).
When I checked the feedback on IMDB.com, I saw that many of the posters were comparing it to a British film by Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers) called The Descent. Apparently they have some very similar plot lines, although The Descent has yet to be released theatrically in the US. This got me thinking about the sad state of the Horror genre in American film over the last few years. Here goes:
To get a good feel for the assortment of Horror films that have been produced in the last few years, I once again consulted the oracle of all things, er, movie-ish in IMDB.com. They have a great search engine within their own site called a Power Search. So, I looked for the top 100 Horror films (as voted by IMDB users with at least 1000 votes) that were produced from 2000 to 2005. I then culled the herd by dropping anything with less than a 6.9 out of 10 rating which left me with a not so round 26 films. They are as follows (with foreign titles translated into English):
Film Rating Country
1. Battle Royale 7.9 Japan
2. Shaun of the Dead 7.9 UK
3. The Others 7.8 France/Spain/US
4. Vampire Hunter D 7.7 Japan/Hong Kong
5. Butterfly Effect, The 7.7 US
6. Descent, The 7.7 UK
7. Bubba Ho-Tep 7.6 US
8. Tale of Two Sister, A 7.6 South Korea
9. Saw 7.5 US/Australia
10. Frailty 7.4 US/Italy/Germany
11. Dawn of the Dead 7.4 US
12. Devil’s Backbone, The 7.4 Mexico
13. Ring, The 7.4 US
14. Happiness of the Katakuris, The 7.3 Japan
15. Identity 7.3 US
16. 28 Days Later… 7.3 UK
17. Irreversible 7.2 France
18. Visitor Q 7.1 Japan
19. Brotherhood of the Wolf 7.1 France
20. Devil’s Rejects, The 7.1 US
21. Ichii the Killer 7.1 Japan
22. Dark Water 7.1 Japan
23. Eye, The 7.0 Japan
24. Land of the Dead 7.0 US
25. Ginger Snaps 6.9 Canada
26. American Psycho 6.9 US
As you can see there is a decidedly international flavor to the list with the US only accounting for 11 of the 26 films. It’s no surprise that Japan is second on the list with 7 entries, followed by the UK with 3 films. Now, before I start to critique these films let me say that I have seen less than half of the titles listed. But that isn’t going to stop me from “Eberting” them anyway.
Let’s start with the American Films. Right away I can whittle this group down by excluding comedies (Bubba Ho-Tep), remakes (Dawn of the Dead and The Ring), sequels/rip-offs (Land of the Dead and The Devil’s Rejects) and any movie that stars Ashton Kutcher (The Butterfly Effect). This leaves us with a tidy five US-made Horror films in the last few years that meet our haughty criteria.
The Others by Alejandro Amenabar is a wonderfully creepy film with an engaging cast. Part of it was even filmed here in Huntington at Oheka Castle. But considering the director’s origins (Chile) and the fact that the cast is mostly British or Australian, this film really takes on an international tone. The US is also listed third in the credits for country of origin behind France and Spain. So this is a tough one to include as being truly “American”, for me at least.
Saw by James Wan is also a film that includes some international ties. Mr. Wan grew up as an Asian in Australia, and this is his first film working in the US. That aside, it was a very creepy serial killer film that kept audiences guessing until the very end. I’m still not 100% sure what the hell happened, but I know that I liked it. It is sure to be ruined by numerous sequels, but this film stands out as something highly original.
Frailty by Bill Paxton (I didn’t realize he directed it) is an unusual film for me to judge. I liked all the performances in the picture, and the novelty of the plot wasn’t lost on me. It very nearly works as a perfect study of mental illness and its’ effect on the family. However, I find it hard to include as a Horror film, per se. The fact that I wasn’t frightened or horrified in any way might be the problem I had with it. I don’t know. It just didn’t “get” me the way a good Horror film should.
Identity by James Mangold is another film that I was surprised to see on the list. I did enjoy seeing it (big fan of John Cusack), and it’s “Ten Little Indians” plot was fun to watch unfold, but as with Frailty I feel that it didn’t encompass some of the elements that define a good Horror movie for me. It was if I was watching the movie just to see what the “big twist” was going to be.
American Psycho by Mary Harron (based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel) was just a crazy, crazy movie with everyone’s favorite Batman, Christian Bale, giving us an over-the-top horrific performance as the title character. The very real moments of pure horror are offset by some very funny insights into the yuppie lifestyle of the 1980’s. The narrow edge of what is real and what evils lie solely within Bale’s character’s mind is what makes this movie so much fun to watch. Well, that and Willem Dafoe. Man, that guy is just creepy to look at!
Did you notice a common thread between these five films? I mentioned it while talking about Identity. All five of these films include a “big twist” ending. It’s as if American Horror in film have become almost solely derivative of 1999’s The Sixth Sense in the past few years. Yeah, I know…the “big twist” in American Horror has been around since Alfred Hitchcock and Psycho (and probably way before that), but it seems to be steadily building momentum. There is nothing wrong with it, but it bothers me that I thought that a great film like The Others was slightly tainted because I left the theater thinking that it was really good, but The Sixth Sense did it a little better.
Now the non-US films on the above lists really include some original and grand examples of Horror, and Japan is definitely leading the way. Most of the top grossing Horror films made in the US nowadays (The Ring, The Grudge, Dark Water) are remakes of original Japanese Horror films. It’s like the obsession Hollywood had with remaking French Comedies a few years back. The old “let’s take something of theirs and make it ours” kind of philosophy. In most cases, the original far outshines the remake, but American audiences seem to really have a problem watching foreign language films with subtitles. Sad.
Battle Royale (so I’ve heard) is just a brutish “Lord of the Flies” tale of a group of school children forced onto an island with the intent of murdering one another until there is a sole survivor. It is so brutal that it is not available through mainstream avenues in the US, nor is it likely to be remade here in this country due to its themes of violence and children. Visitor Q, Ichii the Killer, The Eye and Dark Water are all highly praised as truly original entries in the Horror genre. Vampire Hunter D is an animated film, but one that is supposedly one of the best examples of Horror/Anime around. From what I’ve read of The Happiness of the Katakuris, it may not belong on the list as its’ tale of a family taking over a remote hotel is told in a Musical/Comedy setting.
There are some other great original films on the list made in the UK, France, Mexico and even Canada. I’ve already mentioned The Descent, but Danny Boyle made zombies cool again in 28 Days Later…, and Edgar Wright made them funny in Shaun of the Dead. Brotherhood of the Wolf is one of my favorite movies (in any of the genres it fits) made in recent years. Its’ visual style and martial arts action fit well with its’ historical accuracy. If you haven’t seen this film, do yourself a favor and check it out. The Devil’s Backbone is Guillermo del Toro’s (Hellboy) breakout hit from a few years back, and this guy has a film style that looks good even in crappy movies like Blade II. Another personal favorite on the list is Ginger Snaps out of Canada. I really liked the idea of a werewolf movie as a metaphor for puberty and all the wonderful things that come with it. It may not have been as downright scary as Dog Soldiers, but I enjoyed it just as much if not more.
Well, I managed to trash American Horror a bit more than I praised International Horror, but you can see where I wanted to go with this. The focus here in the US seems to be more on generating box office gold by more derivative means, while the creative side of Horror is left to filmmakers abroad. Hey, I appreciate a good film no matter what country it was created in, but let’s hope that this trend slows down in the near future. Horror films have been a staple in the diet of American filmgoers for a long time now, and we are getting a bit tired of the stale servings of late.
10/02/2005 11:50 PM EST
As I said in the last post, here is another great article written by B.E. Earl. Since he gave it to me over a month ago, some of the "Upcoming" movie references may now be a tad outdated. Please blame my excessive laziness for this fact, and not the fact that B.E. wouldn't know a good horror movie if it came up and bit him on the ass (which it just might, one day...those things are ORNERY) - Slyde.
Hi, folks! Earl here. I recently saw a commercial for a new horror film that will be coming out to a theater near you shortly. It’s called The Cave, and I was interested enough to check out some of the details on IMDB.com yesterday. Not “interested” in actually going to see the film, but more like “interested” in how derivative it appears to be. The trailer showed a group of divers (or some kind of adventure seekers) getting trapped in a network of underwater caves. Then some kind of Big Bad begins to pick them off, and it appears as if it either infects some of the team members or takes over their bodies in some “body snatcher/the killer is amongst us” kind of way. I don’t know the exact details, and maybe I never will. But three films jumped to mind as soon as I saw this commercial. John Carpenter’s version of The Thing (victims assimilated by beastie in remote location), Pitch Black (maybe because Cole Hauser is in both), and Alien (replace deep space with deep caves…now THAT is clever).
When I checked the feedback on IMDB.com, I saw that many of the posters were comparing it to a British film by Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers) called The Descent. Apparently they have some very similar plot lines, although The Descent has yet to be released theatrically in the US. This got me thinking about the sad state of the Horror genre in American film over the last few years. Here goes:
To get a good feel for the assortment of Horror films that have been produced in the last few years, I once again consulted the oracle of all things, er, movie-ish in IMDB.com. They have a great search engine within their own site called a Power Search. So, I looked for the top 100 Horror films (as voted by IMDB users with at least 1000 votes) that were produced from 2000 to 2005. I then culled the herd by dropping anything with less than a 6.9 out of 10 rating which left me with a not so round 26 films. They are as follows (with foreign titles translated into English):
Film Rating Country
1. Battle Royale 7.9 Japan
2. Shaun of the Dead 7.9 UK
3. The Others 7.8 France/Spain/US
4. Vampire Hunter D 7.7 Japan/Hong Kong
5. Butterfly Effect, The 7.7 US
6. Descent, The 7.7 UK
7. Bubba Ho-Tep 7.6 US
8. Tale of Two Sister, A 7.6 South Korea
9. Saw 7.5 US/Australia
10. Frailty 7.4 US/Italy/Germany
11. Dawn of the Dead 7.4 US
12. Devil’s Backbone, The 7.4 Mexico
13. Ring, The 7.4 US
14. Happiness of the Katakuris, The 7.3 Japan
15. Identity 7.3 US
16. 28 Days Later… 7.3 UK
17. Irreversible 7.2 France
18. Visitor Q 7.1 Japan
19. Brotherhood of the Wolf 7.1 France
20. Devil’s Rejects, The 7.1 US
21. Ichii the Killer 7.1 Japan
22. Dark Water 7.1 Japan
23. Eye, The 7.0 Japan
24. Land of the Dead 7.0 US
25. Ginger Snaps 6.9 Canada
26. American Psycho 6.9 US
As you can see there is a decidedly international flavor to the list with the US only accounting for 11 of the 26 films. It’s no surprise that Japan is second on the list with 7 entries, followed by the UK with 3 films. Now, before I start to critique these films let me say that I have seen less than half of the titles listed. But that isn’t going to stop me from “Eberting” them anyway.
Let’s start with the American Films. Right away I can whittle this group down by excluding comedies (Bubba Ho-Tep), remakes (Dawn of the Dead and The Ring), sequels/rip-offs (Land of the Dead and The Devil’s Rejects) and any movie that stars Ashton Kutcher (The Butterfly Effect). This leaves us with a tidy five US-made Horror films in the last few years that meet our haughty criteria.
The Others by Alejandro Amenabar is a wonderfully creepy film with an engaging cast. Part of it was even filmed here in Huntington at Oheka Castle. But considering the director’s origins (Chile) and the fact that the cast is mostly British or Australian, this film really takes on an international tone. The US is also listed third in the credits for country of origin behind France and Spain. So this is a tough one to include as being truly “American”, for me at least.
Saw by James Wan is also a film that includes some international ties. Mr. Wan grew up as an Asian in Australia, and this is his first film working in the US. That aside, it was a very creepy serial killer film that kept audiences guessing until the very end. I’m still not 100% sure what the hell happened, but I know that I liked it. It is sure to be ruined by numerous sequels, but this film stands out as something highly original.
Frailty by Bill Paxton (I didn’t realize he directed it) is an unusual film for me to judge. I liked all the performances in the picture, and the novelty of the plot wasn’t lost on me. It very nearly works as a perfect study of mental illness and its’ effect on the family. However, I find it hard to include as a Horror film, per se. The fact that I wasn’t frightened or horrified in any way might be the problem I had with it. I don’t know. It just didn’t “get” me the way a good Horror film should.
Identity by James Mangold is another film that I was surprised to see on the list. I did enjoy seeing it (big fan of John Cusack), and it’s “Ten Little Indians” plot was fun to watch unfold, but as with Frailty I feel that it didn’t encompass some of the elements that define a good Horror movie for me. It was if I was watching the movie just to see what the “big twist” was going to be.
American Psycho by Mary Harron (based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel) was just a crazy, crazy movie with everyone’s favorite Batman, Christian Bale, giving us an over-the-top horrific performance as the title character. The very real moments of pure horror are offset by some very funny insights into the yuppie lifestyle of the 1980’s. The narrow edge of what is real and what evils lie solely within Bale’s character’s mind is what makes this movie so much fun to watch. Well, that and Willem Dafoe. Man, that guy is just creepy to look at!
Did you notice a common thread between these five films? I mentioned it while talking about Identity. All five of these films include a “big twist” ending. It’s as if American Horror in film have become almost solely derivative of 1999’s The Sixth Sense in the past few years. Yeah, I know…the “big twist” in American Horror has been around since Alfred Hitchcock and Psycho (and probably way before that), but it seems to be steadily building momentum. There is nothing wrong with it, but it bothers me that I thought that a great film like The Others was slightly tainted because I left the theater thinking that it was really good, but The Sixth Sense did it a little better.
Now the non-US films on the above lists really include some original and grand examples of Horror, and Japan is definitely leading the way. Most of the top grossing Horror films made in the US nowadays (The Ring, The Grudge, Dark Water) are remakes of original Japanese Horror films. It’s like the obsession Hollywood had with remaking French Comedies a few years back. The old “let’s take something of theirs and make it ours” kind of philosophy. In most cases, the original far outshines the remake, but American audiences seem to really have a problem watching foreign language films with subtitles. Sad.
Battle Royale (so I’ve heard) is just a brutish “Lord of the Flies” tale of a group of school children forced onto an island with the intent of murdering one another until there is a sole survivor. It is so brutal that it is not available through mainstream avenues in the US, nor is it likely to be remade here in this country due to its themes of violence and children. Visitor Q, Ichii the Killer, The Eye and Dark Water are all highly praised as truly original entries in the Horror genre. Vampire Hunter D is an animated film, but one that is supposedly one of the best examples of Horror/Anime around. From what I’ve read of The Happiness of the Katakuris, it may not belong on the list as its’ tale of a family taking over a remote hotel is told in a Musical/Comedy setting.
There are some other great original films on the list made in the UK, France, Mexico and even Canada. I’ve already mentioned The Descent, but Danny Boyle made zombies cool again in 28 Days Later…, and Edgar Wright made them funny in Shaun of the Dead. Brotherhood of the Wolf is one of my favorite movies (in any of the genres it fits) made in recent years. Its’ visual style and martial arts action fit well with its’ historical accuracy. If you haven’t seen this film, do yourself a favor and check it out. The Devil’s Backbone is Guillermo del Toro’s (Hellboy) breakout hit from a few years back, and this guy has a film style that looks good even in crappy movies like Blade II. Another personal favorite on the list is Ginger Snaps out of Canada. I really liked the idea of a werewolf movie as a metaphor for puberty and all the wonderful things that come with it. It may not have been as downright scary as Dog Soldiers, but I enjoyed it just as much if not more.
Well, I managed to trash American Horror a bit more than I praised International Horror, but you can see where I wanted to go with this. The focus here in the US seems to be more on generating box office gold by more derivative means, while the creative side of Horror is left to filmmakers abroad. Hey, I appreciate a good film no matter what country it was created in, but let’s hope that this trend slows down in the near future. Horror films have been a staple in the diet of American filmgoers for a long time now, and we are getting a bit tired of the stale servings of late.
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