Dec 31, 2008

I'm officially creeped out... sloths. My new number one creepiest animal of all time.

And it was a fake sloth that did it to me. Check out this Italian commercial for Alfa Romeo that features a dude dressed up like Satan's favorite animal. I have no idea what it has to do with Alfa Romeo, but there it is. 

And here is a "cute" video of baby sloths doing cute baby sloth things. Not cute to me. Looks like something out of one of my worst nightmares. And a little like that Cloverfield creature. Or is that just me?

Ugh...I'm gonna have more nightmares now about this most hideous of creatures. Thanks, YouTube!

Happy Nude Year's Eve Everyone!!!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the creepy sloths are doing it.

Dec 30, 2008

Let's cut the crap.

Titanic isn't the biggest movie of all-time. Gone with the Wind is. Titanic isn't even in the Top 5. But more on that in a moment.

Since when is a film judged by how much it grosses? Without any adjustment for inflation? That just doesn't make any sense to me at all. You have to adjust for inflation, or even better just count the number of tickets sold. Of course, the statistics for tickets sold back in the pre-WWII days aren't the most reliable. They powers that be always looked at box office gross, even back then. But with a little math and a little common sense, one can estimate the number of tickets sold during a film's release fairly accurately.

According to, the top ten films of all-time based on estimated domestic ticket sales are as follows:

  1. Gone with the Wind* - 202,044,600
  2. Star Wars* - 178,119,600
  3. The Sound of Music - 142,415,400
  4. E.T.: The Extraterrestrial* - 141,854,300
  5. The Ten Commandments - 131,000,000
  6. Titanic - 128,345,900
  7. Jaws - 128,078,800
  8. Dr. Zhivago - 124,135,400
  9. The Exorcist* - 110,568,700
  10. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs* - 109,000,000

*Film was theatrically released more than one time.

Notice any film missing from that list? I would have sworn that The Dark Knight would have easily have been in the Top 10. Certainly it sold more than films like Dr. Zhivago or The Exorcist. Right?

Nope. The Dark Knight has sold a little less than 75 million tickets domestically since it's release. That puts it at 26th all-time, sandwiched in between Grease and Thunderball. Thunderball? Really?

In my 42 years, I have witnessed what I thought were 5 box office phenomena. Jaws, Star Wars, E.T., Titanic and The Dark Knight. There were others that sold a lot of tickets, like the rest of the Star Wars films and the Indiana Jones films. Those were huge. But they didn't have the cultural impact of the Big 5. Those were media mega-giants that seemed to just last forever in the theaters. Selling tremendous amounts of tickets. Or so I thought.

Now I know that some of the films on the list were released more than once. But of the nearly $180 million tickets that Star Wars sold, how many do you think were from the initial release? And how many were sold during it's lame re-release? I'm thinking at least 75% of the total tickets sold were during the initial release. Just a guess, but it played in the theaters for many months back in 1977 and so many people saw it more than once. Some saw it dozens of times. It was a true phenomenon.

I thought The Dark Knight was the same kind of phenomenon. But it wasn't. While it is listed as second all-time for domestic grosses, it falls far behind Titanic in estimated ticket sales. Far behind.

So let's cut the crap, shall we. Let's stop looking at unadjusted gross for how well a movie performs. The Top 100 would be littered with films from the past decade or so. The Dark Knight may have seemed like a juggernaut, but back in 1965 Julie Andrews and The Sound of Music kicked it's fucking ass!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the box office winners are doing it.

Dec 29, 2008

The Surreal Deal

So I had this weird dream, right? I was drinking beers with a buddy of mine and a bunch of local fisherman on a bridge by my home at around 1AM. The fisherman were also smoking weed. Didn't offer us any, but they seemed like good eggs.

Suddenly a car pulls up out of the fog (it's always foggy in dreams) flashing it's high beams at us. It's my buddy's wife and she wants to go out for a drink. So I recommend a place that I think might still be open. Once we get there we find ourselves in the middle of a trashy wedding after-party. I'm only assuming the wedding was "trashy", but considering that they wound up at this joint afterward it is probably a good bet. The bride and groom are wasted and grinding it to the silky smooth sounds of the bar band's version of "Love the One You're With". Really? Glad to see that my dream life isn't lacking in irony.

We grab a booth in the dining area to distance ourselves from the perceived losers in the bar area, when perception turns to reality. A fight breaks out. A classic sprawling bar room brawl. Amongst the wedding party. No way we were getting involved, but then I see the bride kinda in the middle of it. So I gallantly rush over to escort her out of harm's way. She pleads with me to find her husband and make sure he is okay.

So I wade into the mass of drunken idiots to find the groom. Along the way several mini-fights flare up around the edges of the larger overall fight. I tip-toe through it all. Then the fight spills into the dining area and into the booth we were occupying. I check to see that my beer is okay, and I see that one of my friends has saved it. Phew!

That's when the entire place spills out into one of the joints two parking lots and a bunch of cop cars show up to break things up. And I wondering just what kind of second-hand buzz I must have caught from those dude's fishing on the bridge.

Oh, and wasn't a dream after all. It all really happened.

How was your weekend?


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the drunken buffoons are doing it.

Dec 27, 2008

One more Holiday gift (NSFW-ish)

I give you the gift of an illustrated explanation of EVERY sexual position known to, um, the people who made the list I guess. There are 6 different positions alone for a good old 69. That's stretching it a bit, I think. Whether you are on top, or your partner is on top or if you are's still 69. No need to call it something unique.

Anyway, I got tired just looking at this exhaustive list. Much less trying them all out. I don't think my body works that way any more. I don't mean "down there". That works just fine, thank you very much. I mean that a few of these positions requires that some of the rest of my body becomes more "bendy" than it normally is.

There are a few that look kinda fun. Excuse me...gotta go find Gia!

Courtesy of


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the experimental jet set are doing it.

Dec 24, 2008

Merry Christmas!

Have yourself a naughty little Christmas. See you sometime next week! - Gia & Earl


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the bad boys and girls are doing it. Remember - no quiz on December 25th. Ho ho ho!!!

Dec 23, 2008

Can you dig it?

We've had the Special Edition of The Warriors sitting on top of the TV for about 3 weeks now, and we finally dusted it off to watch it last night.

One word...AWESOME!

I had kinda forgotten about how much I loved this movie. Walter Hill at the helm, very young versions of Michael Beck, James Remar and Deborah Van Valkenburgh...God, I love saying "Deborah Van Valkenburgh" out loud. Try it, it's a lot of fun. So is the film. Even 30 years later.

I also forgot that this movie was made back in the late 1970's. And about the political furor that came with the several "incidents" of gang-related violence that occurred in the film's initial release. The Special Edition comes with a great 5 part documentary about the making of the film and the establishment of it as a cult classic in some circles. Yeah, I'm in that circle.

The interviews in the documentary were classic. James Remar and David Patrick Kelly were especially fond of the film as it kick started both of their careers playing bad guys. And they were sooo good at it sooo early on.

Several aspects of the film that I never got back in the day were the references to Xenophon's classical Greek tale "Anabasis" about a contingent of Greek Warriors stuck behind enemy lines in Ancient Persia. They had to fight their way back home in a series of monumental battles. Just like The Warriors fighting or evading the Turnbull A.C.s, The Orphans, The Baseball Furies, The Lizzies, The Punks and finally The Rogues. The new cut of the film plays that up a bit more with an introduction that highlights the similarities.

So The Warriors rocks!

I don't care how much brain candy it was. Sometimes you need that.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the boppers are doing it.

Dec 22, 2008


Sorry about yesterday's moody post. Just wasn't feeling it, if you know what I mean.

So I decided to do something about it. I ran out to the market, picked up some ingredients and some super-duper fresh bread (I love bread) and I made this soup. It's called Avgolemono, and it's so fucking good. I didn't make my own chicken stock. Who does that? I used this heavy stock made from rotisserie chicken I found at the market. It was so dark it almost looked like beef stock. I also added some shredded roasted chicken and I substituted arborio rice for the orzo. Just because I felt like it. That's right.

Nothing like some really good soup and some really good bread to put me in a better mood. I hope it has a drowsy effect on me for later tonight. Would love a good 8-hour sleep this evening.

*Oh, and the post title? Demonology is one of spell checks suggestions for a correct spelling of Avgolemono. I thought that was kinda funny.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the top chefs are doing it.

Dec 21, 2008

Holiday Blues

Just some ramblings...

I haven't been sleeping particularly well lately. Had 3 hours of sleep the other night and about 5 hours last night. This shit needs to fix itself pronto, or I'm gonna be a Super Grinch later this week.

I dunno why, but I really hate that my Recent Comments widget isn't working. Steph is tracking down the issue, but I'm too lazy right now to do anything about it. Even though I hate it.

Between Holiday shopping, Holiday parties, being sick and not sleeping I haven't been a very good bloggy friend lately. I've been reading everyone's blogs in my feed reader, but I've been too lazy and tired to actually grace the sites with my presence. I know. It's been hard on you all, hasn't it?

Our big boy, Syd has a stone in his bladder that is gonna require surgery to remove. That's a $1,200 tab right there for minor kitty surgery. Right around the Holidays, of course. What are you gonna do?

Did I mention what a bad idea it was to do my Christmas shopping in NYC during a snowstorm? Yeah, it sucked.

This year's baseball off season has been a weird one. I dunno if it is the economy or an en masse decision by baseball executives around the league to not fall for the uber-agents yearly schtick, but it's been a real slow free agent signing season. Manny, Teixeira, Dunn, Sheets and Lowe are all still out there. So are Giambi, Abreu, Fuentes and a ton of second tier guys.

I promise to get to sending out those questions for the 5 question meme to all those who asked. I just haven't been in the mood. Maybe later today. Maybe tomorrow. I dunno.

Anyone else having a ho-hum Holiday Season thus far?


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the rambling idiots are doing it.

Dec 19, 2008

Walking in a Winter...

...blah blah blah.

Heading into NYC today to get my Christmas shopping done. And it's supposed to snow a decent amount. I guess that will put me firmly in the Holiday mood. Or piss me off.

I've got a full itinerary including breakfast at this place.

Check out the menu if you get a chance.

It's huge! What would you order? I'm thinking the South Pork special (eggs, grits, sausage gravy) or the Whitley (seared chipotle eggs) or the Zackzuka (sizzling chorizo, eggs, cilantro, pepper).

Did I mention that breakfast is my absolute favorite meal?

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the maniac shoppers are doing it.

Dec 18, 2008

I don't dance


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. If Angel can do it, you can do it. Bitch!

Dec 17, 2008

Common misconceptions

I saw this the other day on GorillaMask and it just tickled me for some reason.

It's a Wiki list of common misconceptions. The greatest thing about it? It's on Wikipedia, so who the hell knows if they are true or not. Isn't the internets a wonderful place to live?

Here are some of my favorites:
  1. Apparently, the folks in the time of Christopher Columbus didn't really believe that the Earth was flat. I mean, some of them probably did. The silly folk, if you know what I mean. But it looks as if the scholarly people of the time believed in the idea of a spherical Earth. My 4th grade teacher is in for a fucking beating.
  2. Searing meat doesn't seal in the flavor. I was always suspicious of that one. Seems that you sear the meat to add flavor via the Maillard reaction. Yeah.
  3. So if I go to get a hooker, right. Um, and I ask him or her (don't judge me!) if they are a cop, right. Um, and they say "no", right. They can still arrest me, because they don't have to reveal themselves to avoid entrapment. Good thing I stay away from those, um, situations. Eh?
  4. "There is no dark side of the moon, really. Matter of fact, it's all dark."
  5. Shaving doesn't cause your hair to grow in thicker and more coarse. It's just the jagged end of the hair follicle that makes it seem like it is more coarse when it grows back in. Shaving your balls, however, can be a sad and dangerous way to pass a lonely Saturday night.
  6. Lemmings don't participate in mass suicides during migration by jumping off cliffs. This fallacy was largely made up by the soulless folks at Disney and the documentary film White Wilderness. Another reason to hate that freakin' rat.
  7. The Sahara isn't the largest desert in the world. It's the largest HOT desert in the world. Huh? I thought all deserts were boiling pits of Hell. Not so. Antarctica is actually the world's largest desert. It is a body of land that doesn't have liquid water available for plants and animals to use to live. That is sufficient to classify it as a desert. My whole world is crashing down around me!
  8. The Immaculate Conception doesn't refer to the conception of Jesus by the Virgin Mary, but rather it refers to the conception of Mary herself as she was was born without the stain of original sin. I'm not sure I really understand that, but it certainly tells me that I wasn't paying attention in Religious Education classes very well.
  9. Thomas Crapper didn't invent the flushable toilet. Yeah, I thought someone was pulling my leg on that one. I'm sure it was just a made-up name, er...wait! Holy shit! There really was a Thomas Crapper who was a plumber! And, and, and....HE INVENTED SOMETHING CALLED A BALLCOCK!!! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
That's it. I was gonna try to find a 10th item just to round out the list and make it look pretty. But I'd rather end it with BALLCOCK. Just for shits and giggles.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. It's a common misconception that only the cool kids are doing it. So you should try it too. See what I did there? ;)

Dec 16, 2008

Things I'm boycotting - part 5*

*And I promise this is the last one.

Mean people.

In fact, I'm gonna start right now. I'm not even gonna go off on mean people. Acknowledging that they exist gives them some kind of power, and I don't want to give them the pleasure of knowing that we are talking about them.

Instead, howsabout a story of a truly nice person?

So the other day, we were having a bad one. Had to do with one of the mean people that I've already decided not to talk about. So after a lot of crap we turned around and realized it was pretty late and we hadn't had dinner. Too late to eat out and we were both too tired to cook anything.

So I headed out the door to the local fast food joint. In a bad mood, frankly. I head inside because they always fuck you at the drive thru. There is one other person ordering. A woman about my age. She has two teenaged girls with her. It takes me a second, but I soon realize that there is about her. She's mentally handicapped. I don't know if the girls are hers or if they are watching her, but she is definitely ready for the Special Olympics. And she can't find her debit card.

Great! Not only am I in a bad mood, but now I am gonna have to wait because Rainwoman over there can't find her fucking debit card!

Then she starts to freak out. Bad.

She thinks she may have left her card at home, and she is hitting herself in the head calling herself "stupid" over and over again. The girls try to help, but she is having none of it. I quickly glance at the bill and see it is only around $15 bucks, so I take a $20 out of my pocket to slide over to one of the girls.

But before I could do it, this incredible 19 year-old "manager" came out and talked her down. He calmly asked her what the problem was. He told her he leaves his card at home all the time and it is such a hassle. Then he tells her to write down her name and her phone number and she can pay for her meal the next time she comes in. She cried and told him that she doesn't drive and she wouldn't be able to get there for a few days. He told her that it could be the next day, the next week or the next month. Didn't matter, because he trusted her to come back. And he did this all with such a sincere honesty and calmness that it actually changed my mood.

A fucking 19 year-old working at a fast food place. Can you believe that? The way he talked that woman down was simply amazing. I gave him a thumbs-up after he was done with her and he just smiled and nodded. Doing his job.

That's a special kid right there. Good thing he decided a long time ago that mean people suck. Maybe he was just following corporate policy, I don't know. I just needed to believe right then and there that he was simply being nice.

I needed to believe that.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the nice folk are doing it.

Dec 15, 2008

Things I'm boycotting - part 4

You getting tired of these yet? Me too, but I have about a dozen more. Lots of shitty people and things in this world. I'll consider holding off on them just because it is the Holiday Season. Ho ho ho and all that crap.

So I'm boycotting American Idol. Who's with me?

I haven't really watched the show in a while anyway. I think the only season that I made it entirely through was the season that that grey-haired dude won. He's a big star nowadays, huh? The music is okay. I mean, it's not my kind of music, but it's perfectly acceptable. That's not why I stopped watching.

It's the first few weeks of the show that I find reprehensible. Now I know that they feature a bunch of people who are just idiots who want their 15 seconds of fame. Some people will do anything to be on television. Even if the world is making fun of them. But I couldn't help feeling that there were some people who were on the show that genuinely thought they were talented, even though they clearly weren't. And, even worse, some of these sad souls seemed mentally unstable at best.

The producers of the show seemed to be crossing the "making fun of retards" line that is about as funny as a train wreck. Sure, some people are gonna tune in for the train wreck, but at what cost to their soul (or whatever the equivalent is for the non-religious). The show was just getting mean, in my opinion. And one of these sad sacks was gonna kill themselves over their treatment on the show some day. You just knew it.

Nobody knows for certain why Paula Goodspeed killed herself in front of the home of Paula Abdul. What we do know is that she either stalked Abdul or was dangerously obsessed with her for upwards of 17 years. Abdul claims that she had restraining orders out for Goodspeed at various times during that period. Abdul blames the producers of American Idol for allowing a potentially dangerous person who clearly was deranged so close to the object of her obsession.

She should be mad at American Idol. We all should be. But not just for letting a dangerous stalker get close to Abdul. That is actually kinda fun. We all should be upset because they chose to look at the entertainment value of making fun of a mentally unstable individual rather than pointing that individual towards someone that could help them. They did it for ratings.

And now she is dead. And while we may never know exactly why, I have a pretty good idea that the "good-natured ribbing" that she took on American Idol may have had something to do with that. Sure, she was a whack job. But making fun of a whack-job in private (something we all do) is entirely different from publicly humiliating her in front of millions. At a time when she thought she was living her dream in front of her favorite person in the whole world. That is just sick.

Fuck American Idol!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the mentally unstable kids are doing it.

Dec 14, 2008

Things I'm boycotting - part 3

Michael Jackson

And this picture is the only reason I need.

Source and story at The Huffington Post


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the weirdest folks are doing it.

Dec 13, 2008

Things I'm boycotting - part duh

Jim Rice.

Yeah, I know. How does one go about boycotting an ex-ballplayer who hung 'em up in 1989? I don't know, but I'm gonna try.

There's been a lot of talk amongst baseball geeks lately regarding Jim Rice and his induction into the Hall of Fame. Some are against it, and they list specific reasons resplendent with gory statistics as to why they believe that. Some are for it, and they choose to throw out unsubstantiated claims like "he was the most feared hitter of his time". Guess who I'm siding with? That's right. The stats geeks. And it's not because I'm a Yankee fan. Well, it might be partially because I'm a Yankee fan. Fuck Boston!

Dan Shaughnessy of The Boston Globe (duh) makes his plea for Jim Rice's induction to the Hall this coming year. It's Rice's last year of eligibility and he will probably get in. He came real close his past year and if past voting records have any meaning at all then it means he will probably get in. He'll probably get in, okay? That doesn't stop Shaughnessy from bringing out the old "most feared hitter" argument. Because beating us over the head with that for the past 15 years has worked wonders. He even stoops to calling those who disagree with him a bunch of geeks who never got out of the house. "You had to be there" he says. Nice. Dick!

Listen, Jim Rice was a very good player. I saw him play often during the best parts of his career. And you know what? He was feared. But he really wasn't even the best player on his team. He had two clear "peaks" in his career. The mid-late 70's and the mid 80's. Early on it was Fred Lynn who was clearly the best player on the team. Later on it was Wade Boggs and Roger Clemens who were clearly better. And Dwight Evans was certainly in the conversation.

He did win an MVP in 1978. That is true. A fantastic offensive season for a second-place team. Ron Guidry had a ridiculous pitching year in 1978 for the first-place Yankees and could have/should have won the award. Why do I mention it? Because the same thing happened in 1986. Except the other way around. Don Mattingly had a fantastic offensive season for the second-place Yankees but lost out to Roger Clemens in the MVP race who pitched for the first-place Sawx. Why was it okay not to vote for the most dominant player in the AL in 1978, but it was okay in 1986? I dunno. I don't know why I even brought it up, but it still bothers me. MVP voting bothers me almost as much as Hall of Fame voting, I guess.

Oh, and Rice finished a distant 3rd in the MVP voting in 1986 as well. His stats were far inferior to Mattingly's. And Wade Boggs, for that matter. But the press continued to give him votes.

So I hope Jim Rice comes close next year to getting in. Real close. I hope he is short by 3 or 4 votes. That would be cool. I don't know the guy and I have nothing against him personally. I just don't think he was quite good enough to earn an induction to the Hall.

And he played for the Red Sox. Feh.

Reminder: Hey, we are still reviewing awful movies over at the MovieGrenade, in case you've forgotten. This is important work we are doing. We review 'em so you don't have to watch 'em. See?


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the geeky stat-heads are doing it.

Dec 12, 2008

Things I'm boycotting - part 1


Yeah, I know. How does one go about boycotting Congress? I don't know, but I'm gonna try.

First they held hearings about steroid use in baseball. While we were at fucking war! I know there are some idiots out there who feel that this is exactly what Congress should be doing with their time, but I'm not one of those idiots. I'm an idiot for other reasons.

Now there is a Congressman from Texas named Joe Barton who announced that he intends to initiate a bill that would prohibit the marketing, promotion and advertising of a postseason college football game as a "national championship" unless it is the direct result of a playoff system. This is his way for Congress to get involved in the NCAA National Championship discussion.


Doesn't Congress have enough to do with, ya know, the fucking economic crisis going on right now!!! This is utter crap! And I'm one of those that really cares about the BCS mess going on right now. It's a huge issue for me. Just not an issue that I want my Congress or my President getting involved in. It's sports! It's entertainment! It's not that big of a deal.

Ugh. The sheer stupidity of this is making my head ache. I'm going to bed.

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. It's a tremendous waste of time. Just like Congress.

Dec 11, 2008

Five Questions from the Bogeyman*

*Well, his ancestor. And only in parts of Pakistan.

So a little while back, blog buddy Adam Avitable started or re-started the Five Questions Meme that went around so many moons ago. You can see the rules down below, but he asked his readers if they wanted to participate and I volunteered. And I wasn't even drunk when I did!

So here goes.

1. You and RW are some of the elder statesmen of the blogging world. Do you have any advice for us young whippersnappers?
Despite the fact that my Blogger profile lists my age as 252, I actually still feel like a teenager at heart. Plus I've been sticking to a strict regimen of no exercise, multiple cheeseburgers and booze to guarantee that I haunt this plane of existence for quite a while in the future. So I've got that going for me. Which is nice. But if it is advice that you young whippersnappers are looking for, then it is advice that I shall give. Ready? Here it is: Plastics. Hope you are old enough to get that. Fucker!

2. What is it about that rug that's so important?
Well...obviously it tied the whole room together, man. And when the Chinaman (oh, I know that Chinaman isn't the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please) peed on said rug, well...well, the Chinaman is not the issue here. We're talking about unchecked aggression here. I mean it's kinda about the money. By the way, do you think that you could give me that $20,000 in cash? My concern is, and I have to, uh, check with my accountant, that this might bump me into a higher, uh, tax...nevermind. It's like this thing that this Stranger, um, told me once. "Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you." I don't really know what the fuck any of that means, I think it's an Eastern thing. But given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?

Um, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the rug. It tied the whole room together, man.

3. Please defend your anti-Superman stance.
Well, since I'm not a 6 year-old anymore, a better question for you would be to defend your pro-Superman stance. I mean, you aren't 6 any more, are you? But if I need to dredge all this up again then I will. Superman sucks! Even with the occasional re-launch (don't even get me started with John Byrne. That man hates me!) where the powers that be try to de-power him a bit, the character's abilities are just plain ridiculous. And the explanation behind it is even more ridiculous. I don't need a whole lot the check my brain at the door and accept something that is supposed to be pure fantasy. But invulnerability, super strength, super speed, flight, all kinds of vision related powers including heat vision (???), super hearing and super, um, breath? C'mon. That's just fucking ridiculous. And how do they counteract those ridiculous powers? They make him vulnerable to green Kryptoninte which weakens him to the point where Lex Luthor can beat the crap outta him. But those powers and that weakness makes for incredibly boring storylines.

Oh, and how does he fly? I mean, what is his method of propulsion. Iron Man has a suit that allows him to fly. Angel/Archangel is a mutant born with wings. Hawkman has artificial wings and a harness made from Nth metal which allows him to fly. Jean Grey can fly and float using her telekinetic powers. There are others, but most of them have plausible (I know) reasons as to how they can fly. But Superman? Nope. Nothing. His body can manipulate gravity, he uses his "force of will", his Kryptonian body stores the energy of the yellow sun and he can focus this energy into flight, he is telekinetic but he can only focus that telekinesis on this one task...I've heard all the arguments. And they are all stupid. The character originally was so strong that he could leap tall buildings. Far-fetched, maybe...but I can dig that. Then they had to go and make him fly for no apparent reason whatsoever.

There is a reason that Batman kicks his ass just about every time that the two have butted heads. It's because stupid Superman and his stupid powers are just fucking stupid! Crap. I reverted to a 6 year-old's arguments there, didn't I?

4. What inspired you to start blogging?
Well, some of you may know my blog buddy Slyde. He began his blog probably around 4 years ago, and he was anxious to tell me about it. So I checked it out. And then he proceeded to update it every two weeks or so. He just didn't know what he wanted to say. So I offered to help and I started writing movie reviews and book reviews initially. From there it went pretty quickly to the dick and fart jokes that you see here almost daily. So now you know who to blame.

5. What's your favorite thing about New York? Your least favorite?
That's a couple of tough questions right there. I'm going to assume you mean NYC here, not the entire state. There are so many things to love about NYC, but my favorite thing would have to be the crazy people. I fucking love crazy people and NYC has more crazy people than rats, and it has a ton of those too. The other day, I was walking over by the Cooper Union when I heard a gentleman around the corner ranting about how the cleansing was coming. Two thirds of the population of the Earth was gonna be wiped out and the human race is gonna get another chance to get it right. I can get behind that. In fact, I have a whole list of names that I could suggest just to get things going. But I want that crazy coot to be one of the ones that survives. That would be a deal breaker for me.

My least favorite thing is how long it takes to get around sometimes. I don't like to limit myself to just one neighborhood when I am out and about. I would love some kind of teleportation device so that I could have drinks in the West Village and then zoom up to Harlem for some BBQ or to Brooklyn for some fried food without dealing with local subway stops or street traffic. If two-thirds of the population were wiped out in some kind of biblical plague, then it would be much, much easier. I'm just sayin'.


Phew! That wasn't so bad. Well, that first question threw me for a loop even though I know he just included it to get a rise outta me*. Fucker!

So do you want to be part of it? Follow these simple instructions, but remember that I am extremely lazy so only do it if you are truly intent on continuing the meme:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

*I'm a very young 42, thank you very much!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the elder statesmen are doing it.

Dec 10, 2008

Dear Zachary

I've mentioned this before, but Gia and I have incredibly different ideas about what a fun night in front of the television entails. Doesn't make me love her any less. I'm just pointing out the difference. I like movies. Even movies I've seen 10 or 12 times before. If I check out the cable guide and see that Jaws is on, I'm probably gonna watch it. Well, that's not quite fair. Jaws is Gia's favorite movie of all-time, so she would probably join me. But I digress.

Generally, I like to watch old movies and Gia likes to watch reality programming. Not Survivor, I'm talking about Court TV or MSNBC Investigates and such. She eats that shit up.

But every once in a while she sucks me into one of her programs. She did it this past Sunday night when MSNBC premiered the documentary Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father. While not normally my cup of tea, this was a pretty impressive feat of film making about an incredibly powerful and disturbing subject.

I don't want to get into the exact subject matter because it's shocking, and I'm gonna talk about keeping it from you in a little bit. But first I'm gonna come clean with the results of some recent soul searching.

I don't have one.

A soul that is. At least in some situations. Take this film. It was shocking and heartbreaking and it made Gia openly weep. It made me look at her like an alien from another planet. It's not that I can't recognize the tragedy in the situation. No...I can see that. It's just that I can't bring myself to feel any worse for the victims of the crimes shown in this film than I do for any of the hundreds and thousands of victims of similar crimes that occur all the fucking time.

Am I supposed to care more because the initial victim of this film was the childhood friend of a boy who would later become a documentary filmmaker? That just doesn't make any sense to me. What about the nameless woman who was killed by her psycho ex-boyfriend that was on the news tonight? Shouldn't I have just as much empathy for her and her family?

A little over eleven years ago, Princess Diana of Wales died in a tragic car accident and the whole world mourned. Well, the whole world except me. I didn't know the woman and people die in tragic car accidents every single day. Some of them have left behind even more people that actually cared about them than Princess Di did that day. And I have been affected by certain celebrity deaths, but not this one. I tried to explain that to people, but everyone just thought I was cold.

And I really don't think I am. It's just that I don't know how much I can bring myself to get worked up over tragedies just because the persons involved were well known or because a film was made about them. I just can't separate them from other lesser-known tragedies.

But I would be interested to hear what y'all think about this? Am I just a soulless husk of a man who needs therapy, or I am just a bit too rational about the whole subject of tragedy? The world needs to know.

Oh, and about the film. We weren't aware of the subject matter prior to watching the film, and about an hour or so into the film something occurred that I can only somewhat callously call a "big twist". It certainly was shocking to us, and Gia was absolutely devastated. But the cynic in me wonders if a documentary about real-life tragedy is any place for a cheap gimmick. If you've seen the film, you know what I'm talking about.

If you haven't seen it and...I can't believe I'm typing don't mind some spoilers, you can read about the story here or elsewhere on the web.

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the cynical bastards are doing it.

Dec 9, 2008

The Holiday

Generally life comes and goes without any real surprises or unique experiences. Sometimes, if you are lucky enough, you find something or someone that truly makes you smile. Just a little something to get you through the harsh winter of the world.

Sometimes it comes with Hare Krishnas. A whole bunch of them.

Lemme back up. OK, so this past weekend I went to NYC to catch up with some friends. A dude who smells like a wet dog joined me, and we had a couple of hours to kill. So we went down to the East Village. I was gonna take him to Burp Castle (over there on the sidebar), but as soon as we walked in the stench of spilled beer, piss and testosterone overwhelmed us. I don't know what happened to that joint, but it's been overrun by frat boys the past couple of times I've been there. Used to be a real haven for beer geeks. Maybe it still is and I just went on a couple of bad days. I dunno.

Anyway, we went to the joint right next door (a place called Jimmy's No. 43...awesome!) for a couple of pints and a bite to eat. Then over to St. Mark's Place to meet up with my friends. But on the way over I told my buddy about a little bar that I've always wanted check out. The Holiday Cocktail Lounge. It looks like the diviest of the dive bars. Just an awful looking place. Even the name screamed "awful". The Holiday Cocktail Lounge.

My kind of joint.

So he convinced me to take 15 minutes and go in for a drink. You know what the kicker behind the decision was? Right as we were heading across the street, hemming and hawing about ducking inside, an entire parade of Hare Krishnas came dancing down the street. They had instruments and flowing garb and bald heads and, frankly, some pretty incredible dance moves. Those cats were pretty damned funky.

Seeing this as a sign from, well...the Gods, we manned up and headed into the joint. Inside we were greeted with a semi-circle bar, a couple from Tennessee, a string of Christmas lights and the oldest fucking bartender you have ever seen in your life. Seriously. Check him out...

That's Stephan (or Stefan). The oldest fucking bartender you have ever seen in your life. I didn't catch his name while were there, I found out his name after I Googled the joint. In fact, I barely understood a word he said. And apparently it was likewise. Seeing the array of bad beer and bad booze, I thought it would be prudent to order a couple of Jack and Cokes. Safe bet, right?

Except Stephan has a heavy hand. A very heavy hand. And he thought I said Jameson's instead of Jack. I stopped him after he poured one and told him I wanted Jack. He proceeded to yell at me in a mumbling, 400 year-old man kinda way. I have no idea what he said but he kept pointing at the "J" in Jameson like that was supposed to ease my pain. It really was one of those perfect moments in life.

My buddy took one for the team and told Stephan that he would drink the massively strong Jameson & Coke leaving the newly poured (also extremely strong) Jack & Coke for me. But you know what? Jameson & Coke is a pretty good drink! We would up having a couple of more later on in the evening, but none nearly as strong as the one Stephan poured.

One mistake I made? I used the bathroom. Wow! Might be the worst shitter on the East Coast. The cramped room had a toilet filled to the top with piss with a big, black dead fly floating in the middle. I opted for the urinal, but I didn't touch a goddamned thing in that room. I'm pretty sure the Black Plague was living in that room someplace. I've developed a little cough since Saturday, and I'm kinda scared.

I forgot to mention Stephan's other bartending skillz besides the big pour. He also likes to take his time with getting your order. A really long time. When we walked in he was sitting at the bar. He got up, looking a bit pissed that we interrupted his nap or something, and made his way behind the bar. When he got there he must have forgotten why he did because he immediately turned his back to us and started to stock the beer fridge with Budweiser. For 10 minutes. It would have been hilarious if we weren't so thirsty. was hilarious! Who am I kidding?

A group of six walked in as we were finishing up our drink. It's Monday night as I type this and they still might be waiting for their first round.

I can say without any reservation that the Holiday Cocktail Lounge may be the most perfect dive bar in existence, and I can't wait to go back. I hope Stephan is still there. Hell, he will probably out live us all.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the best cowboys have Chinese eyes.

Dec 8, 2008

Randomly Random

These three images are just a drop in the bucket in the random picture universe on Moonbuggy. It's my newest, most favoritist waste of time on the Internets.

I spent about 30 minutes last night just hitting the "random image" link over and over and over again. Now I give the gift of random images to you. Enjoy!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. The questions are chosen at random. Get it?

Dec 6, 2008

Wait, what?

So Uwe Boll is given the reigns of a sword and sorcery film and the producers somehow manage to corral Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, Claire Forlani, Ron Perlman and Matthew Lillard to star in it. Right?

I mean, none of those actors are really top-notch thespians. All of them have been in some pretty bad films. Some of them have been in some pretty great films. But that cast is pretty mind-blowing to me for this type of film.

Yet they all agreed to act in the turd-fest that is In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale a couple of years ago. I've searched long and hard, but this may be the very worst film that has ever been made. And George Lucas wasn't even involved in any way.

Uwe Boll must have compromising pictures of all of these actors in a secure vault someplace. That's the only way that I can explain it. He even managed to get Sir Ben Kingsley to star in BloodRayne.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the Boll-maniacs are doing it.

Dec 5, 2008

What you should be reading

No. Not actual literature or in-depth political essays. Nothing that high brow.

I'm talking about blogs you should be reading. Only, of course, if you are into the kind of smack that these folks are talking. And I don't mean the daily reads that I have on my blogroll (which I really need to update) down below. I mean topic-specific blogs that, for some reason or another, I have decided to keep to myself. I thoroughly enjoy reading all of them, and that should be a major consideration on your part to start reading them. Because, after all, I'm your style guru.

Do you like your politics a little bit left of center? Were you happy with the way that the past election panned out (well, for the most part)? If you answered "yes" to either of those questions, then give the kids over at The Savvy, The Extremist & The Idealist a look see. What started as a collaboration of three individuals is now a the place for seven unique contributors to discuss their political ideals. And the masthead alone is worth checking out.

Well, and sports in general. But mostly baseball. Check out Joe Posnanski, sports writer for the Kansas City Star. His stuff is always entertaining, and he knows just about as much about pop culture trivia as anyone I know. His latest entry on the makeup of the Baseball Hall of Fame is a must read for anyone interested in the subject. And by anyone, I mean you. Very interesting to see how long it took some of baseball's all-time greats to gain induction. Well, interesting to me at least.

Yeah, you read that right. Sex. It sells, it yearns, it needs, it feeds, it wants. Sex. Sorry, went off on a tangent there for a moment. I've been a proponent of this woman's blog since, well...before I really even knew what a blog was. Her name is Violet Blue and in addition to her Tiny Nibbles blog, she writes for the San Francisco Chronicle among many, many other projects. And I have more than a little crush on her. A crush endorsed by Gia, just in case you were wondering. Be careful. This one is definitely NSFW.

Horror Films
I've only recently discovered Stacie Ponder and her Final Girl blog, but I've been wondering where she was in my life for just about ever. Ms. Ponder also writes for AMC's website every Wednesday in the Horror Hacker column. So, do you like films like Poltergeist III a little more than you should? How about sitting down and enjoying a crappy 80's slasher flick, even though you know it really sucks? Yeah? Then you have found soul mates in both me and in Stacie Ponder. Ewww.

Let's see...politics, baseball, sex, horror films. Yeah, that about sums me up. If I had a really great beer blog (besides mine) that I could recommend, then I would. But I'm still searching.

Now I command ye to go forth and get edumacated on these subjects. GO!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the best bloggers are doing it.

Dec 4, 2008

Odetta (1930-2008)

Early last year, I was lucky enough to finagle tickets to a tribute show for Bruce Springsteen at Carnegie Hall. I wrote about it back then, and with the heavy weight of almost one and a half years of memory it still remains one of the most magical musical events I have ever had the privilege to attend.

One of the clear highlights was a performance that I will never forget. An elderly black woman in a wheelchair was escorted onstage. No back up singers, no band. Just her and a microphone. She proceeded to do a spoken word version of Bruce's song "57 Channels" that was utterly amazing and poetic. Bruce came onstage at the end of the concert and called it the best version of the song he has ever heard.

The woman's name was Odetta. I didn't really know much about her then, and I'm only just learning a bit about her today. Why today? Because, sadly, she passed away from heart disease on Tuesday at the age of 77.

She meant a lot of things to a lot of people. She was a source of inspiration for artists like Bob Dylan and Janis Joplin. She was a cornerstone of the American folk music revival of the 1950's and 1960's. She was considered THE voice of the American Civil Rights Movement. You can read all about this wonderful woman here in this NY Times article. She was also slated to perform at Barack Obama's Inauguration in January. That would have been pretty sweet, and I would imagine that would have meant a lot to her. The completion of a full circle, as it were. Shame.

The quote that sticks out from the Times article comes from Rosa Parks. She was asked once in an interview what songs meant the most to her. She replied "All the songs Odetta sings."

Rest in peace, Odetta.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Do it for Odetta.

Dec 3, 2008

Candle porn

So you are home, right? Just kickin' it. Having a glass of wine. Maybe reading a good book. You light a candle to get some ambiance. Maybe a scented candle. Something that smells nice. Yeah...that's it. Nothing wrong about this situation.

Imagine your absolute horror when you turn to blow out the candle, and you see that it has formed some kind of vestigial penis in the previous 45 minutes.

For those of you who want a closer look, here you go. Sickos!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the sick fucks are doing it.

Dec 2, 2008

Do you like pussy? (SFW...very)

So we sat down the other day and decided to take a bunch of pictures of the cats. We are very proud parents and we love to show them off. Sammi (on the right) was just loving the cleaning she was getting from her buddy, Syd. That's a content look right there. This usually ends badly, by the way. She often ends these sessions by smacking him in the head. I picked one of her toenails out of his cheek the other day.

Check out that tongue action on Syd! Easy, big fella!

Here is Syd in his usual position during the day. Asleep with his head on a pillow on the futon in the TV room. He really thinks he's a human, ya understand. That's Sammi's ear or tail in the bottom right foreground. And the human flesh in the background? That's yours truly. Dead sexy, eh?

Sometimes he just curls up with whatever happens to be lying around. A remote control seemed like a good idea for a snuggle toy, I guess.

And since he is such a sound sleeper, we slipped the remote control out and dropped in a can of Dale's Pale Ale...a mighty fine beer from the mighty fine state of Colorado.

OK...go ahead. Make fun. Fuckers!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the cutest kitty cats are doing it. Nice start to the month yesterday from Avitable.

Dec 1, 2008

A Fine Mess

Anyone who follows college football this year knows that the two best conferences in the land were the Big 12 and the SEC. It's been that way most of the year and with one week to go in the season, the SEC has the #1 and the #4 teams in the land with Alabama and Florida. The Big 12 is even more impressive with 3 teams in the Top 10 including Oklahoma at #2 and Texas at #3.

The coming weekend will feature the SEC Championship Game, and the winner of the Florida/Alabama match up will almost certainly represent the SEC in the BCS Title Game in January. This weekend will also see the Big 12 Championship Game. And the winner of that game should be their opponent, right?

Except it's gonna feature the wrong 2 teams. Texas, Texas Tech and Oklahoma all play in the Big 12 South. They are all 11-1. Texas lost to Texas Tech. Texas Tech lost to Oklahoma. Oklahoma lost to Texas. But because of the alignment of the Big 12, Oklahoma (remember, they lost to Texas) will play Missouri (9-3) of the much weaker Big 12 North for the Big 12 Championship.

Hopefully Oklahoma will crush Mizzou this weekend to avoid a potential BCS Mess. Because if they lose...well, what the fuck happens then? Will Texas move up to #2 in the nation without having won their own conference? Will USC, who only has to play UCLA (4-7) this weekend, vault past Texas putting them into the BCS Championship Game? What if they lose? Does that open the door for #6 Penn State? Or undefeated #7 Utah?

This is one of those years that the current BCS situation won't result in the two best teams in the nation playing against each other. I just know it. Especially with 3 of the best teams playing in the same division in the same conference. It just begs for a playoff situation. And then there are Utah, Boise State and Ball State all finishing the regular season undefeated. What about them?

I think we are going to see Florida vs. Oklahoma in the BCS game. I hope we do. But it could be Alabama vs. Texas just as easily. And that would be a shame since Texas didn't even get to play in their own conference's Championship Game.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the sports junkies are doing it. Also, the cumulative scores reset at the end of every month, so play today and you can start December off the right way.

Nov 30, 2008

Crappy, lazy day

Thanksgiving was fantastic, but it's been a crazy, lazy weekend since then. Crazy as in too much to do and lazy as in not enough energy to do it.

So I sit here on the couch on a crappy, rainy Sunday afternoon in my pajamas with the two cats nestled up right next to me watching Season 1 of Angel on Hulu. Angel always seemed like the red-headed awkward step-child of Buffy, in my opinion. I guess because I preferred Spike as a character over Angel. He was just too...somber, I guess. Except when he reverts to Angelus like in Season 2 of Buffy. THAT was fun!

But I'm giving him and his show another chance. And it's pretty freakin' great! And as annoying as she is, it ain't so bad having to look at Charisma Carpenter's hotness throughout these episodes. Yummy!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the crazy cats are doing it.

Nov 28, 2008

Fat Bastard

Hope y'all had a great Turkey Day!



Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the large kids are doing it.

Nov 27, 2008

I Give Thanks

To Buffy!

That's right. This year, I am feeling thankful for Joss Whedon's icon of female empowerment. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Not the movie. That was merely okay. Nope...I'm talking about the television series. THE television series, as I like to refer to it as. Wow, that was a clunky sentence. Fuck it! I'm not re-writing it.

Anywho. I've decided that "Happy Thanksgiving" doesn't cut it for me anymore. From now on I will wish people a "Buffy Thanksgiving". That doesn't sound gay at all.

So have a Buffy Thanksgiving everyone! Go forth and pound a stake through the heart of the undead because that's what the Pilgrims would have wanted you to do.

Oh, and hey. You know who is a good egg? Adam Avitable. He's giving away an uber-cool Buffy DVD set for free. This one.

Looks pretty sweet, eh? So go visit his site here and enter his free contest if you so choose. Or you can ignore it as not to decrease my odds of winning. If you really love me, you'll know what to do. Wink.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Even the Undead are doing it.

Nov 26, 2008

Lazyblogapalooza vol. II

Stolen with glee from PMS, I mean Paige M. Stanton.

Clicky on this linky and you can find out what the Billboard #1 song was on the day that you were born.

Mine turns out to be "You Keep Me Hangin' On" by The Supremes.
"Set me free, why don't cha babe
Get out my life, why don't cha babe
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on
You don't really need me
But you keep me hangin' on"

What was playing on the radio the day you were born?

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. New Twist: From now on every Wednesday will be a Custom Trivia Quiz. Today is Stephen King trivia, but I am going to change it every week. So leave me a comment on the quiz page if you have any suggestions.