What the what?: One of my favorite blogs out there in Blogityville is Stacie Ponder's Final Girl site. Every now and again she picks a Horror film and asks her minions to write a review for it. She does the same, and blammo...it's a film club. This month was an easy one for me because I already had a review for this film in the can. Gia and I watched it last Fall and fell in love with it all over again. Or we were disgusted by it. I forget which. Let's find out! - Earl
Final Girl Film Club - Amityville II: The Possession
So last night we were watching Amityville II: The Possession
on Monster HD
(Hint #1 that this review was written last year. Monster HD has been off the air for a while now - Earl
). Don't judge us! Anyway, neither of us had seen it in over 20 years, and the decades haven't been good to this one. Let me tell you. Or have they?
Prior to the most drawn out demonic possession ever filmed (I'm only guessing here
), there was a scene in the basement of the house that had us cracking up and making up our own dialogue. The eldest son is alone in the house and he had gone to the cellar to get a gun because he heard some noises that could have been an intruder.
All of a sudden he hears whispering voices from behind some hidden panel in the cellar. He yells out "Who's there? I can hear you!". That's the point when we started our own MST3K
-ish dialogue, imagining what the mysterious voices in the cellar were really talking about:
You idiots! He can hear us.
It wasn't me, it was Azazel!
NOT! Satan, he's always blaming me!
Enough with the squabbling! I've had it with you two!
I WANT TO POSSESS HIS SOUL!!!
Shhh...inside voices, Mephistopheles. Inside voices.
Mephistopheles: I WANT TO POSSESS HIS SOUL!!!
) I can't believe I'm stuck in here with these guys.
Satan! Beelzebub is touching me!
(slaps his forehead
The movie just got better and better from there. Spousal abuse, child abuse, and incest. Yes...the creepiest incest scene ever filmed (I'm only guessing here
). The brother visits his sister in her bedroom one night. He asks her to play the model/photographer game, and that's fine. I mean, who hasn't played that game with his sister every once in a while. But then he asks her to take off her nightgown. Her response? "OK, but only for a minute!"
You can imagine where the evening goes from there.
You're imagining it...aren't you? Sickos!
There is so much to love/loath about this flick. And Burt Young was at his very sweaty best as the father of the doomed household. 1982 was a banner year for Mr. Young. He was red-hot in Hollywood after wowing audiences in ...All the Marbles
and Blood Beach
. He topped those winners with this masterpiece and another outing with Sylvester Stallone, Hulk Hogan and Mr. T in Rocky III
. I think his creepy interaction with his robot/sex slave in that one made for a nice sub-plot. Or it would have if they had let him run with it.
Sorry...back to the topic at hand.
As someone who grew up on Long Island and lived about 2 minutes away from the Amityville Horror home (and yet I never visited it
), I can vouch for the realistic portrayal of the events in this film. Long Island was indeed awash in demonic possession back then. We just accepted it and moved on. No need to bang your sister or kill everyone in the house. I mean if you wanted your name in the papers, sure. But usually the demons found life on Long Island to be as boring as Sunday brunch in Hell, so they departed soon afterward. They just left you with a bad case of acne and a penchant for playing practical jokes on the clergy.
I believe they are all working gigs in Las Vegas these days. Something about the dry heat.
Amityville II: The Possession
. Feh. Not the worst way to spend 100 minutes on a Friday night.
Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the wacky possessed kids are doing it.