Aug 31, 2009

National Geographic?


Just a picture that I took of a spider that hangs around our front porch.  He just finished wrapping up his prey and he was taking a breather here.

Damn I'm glad to be bigger than a moth.

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Itsy bitsy spider...

Aug 30, 2009


Happy Birthday to a dude who smells like a wet dog.

He doesn't have a blog...yet.  But he does comment here, so I figure I would give him a shout out.

Besides, he is rapidly approaching "old as balls" age.  It's all downhill from here, son.

Too soon?

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. I'd say the water logged canines are doing it, but since he never attempts the trivia quiz...

Aug 28, 2009

Forgotten food

Something in yesterday's comment section made think about food that I used to eat that I don't anymore, for one reason or the other. 2abes mentioned his disdain for turkey bacon and I generally would have to agree with that.  Except that there was a period of time when I would only eat turkey bacon.  Louis Rich turkey bacon, to be specific.

It was delicious, AND it actually tasted like bacon!  Bonus!  But for some reason I stopped buying it.  Then I stopped seeing it in the market.  I assumed that the company went out of business, leaving the turkey bacon industry up to the likes of Oscar Meyer and Butterball.  (A quick aside: Butterball turkey bacon shouldn't even be allowed to be called food.  It is the most awful product on the face of the Earth.  Stay away!)

But today I did a little research and I found that Oscar Meyer turkey bacon IS Louis Rich turkey bacon!  They must have purchased the brand or something, because I would never have known to look for the little "Louis Rich" label under the giant "Oscar Meyer" label.  Another example of big business taking down the small fry.

Will I try it again?  Maybe...just to see if it is as good as I remembered.  But turkey bacon doesn't kill you as quickly as regular bacon and everyone who loves bacon knows the pleasure/pain dilemma of which I speak.  Bacon is tasty that you don't mind that it is actually killing you.  I don't think you get that with turkey bacon.

So this led me to think about other forgotten foods from the past and the first thing that popped into my brain was Underwood Deviled Ham.  It's still out there and it's still in an aluminum can covered in paper.  Like something ripped from my childhood memories in all it's gory detail. 

When I was a kid I think we always had a few cans of this stuff sitting in the cupboard.  I don't think we ate it all that often, because...well, it looked like cat food, to be totally honest.  And it had that small layer of congealed fat on top of the spread that you would always have to scrape off before you could begin digging in.

I'm normally not a big fan of food products that require you to scrape off a layer of congealed fat before you can begin digging in.

But there was always something, um...tasty about Underwood Deviled Ham.  I checked out the ingredients and they seemed harmless enough.  Ham (cured with water, salt, brown sugar and sodium nitrate) and seasoning (mustard flour, spices and tumeric).  That's it.  OK, I'm not too sure about sodium nitrate and "spices" seems a big generic for me, but still.

Anyway, would you believe that out of the blue I actually purchased some last week?  It's true!  I think its the first time in my adult life that I've had Underwood Deviled Ham.  I was even a bit embarrassed to place it on the conveyor upon checkout.  Was anyone watching?  Would anyone even know what this paper-wrapped can contained?  How could I hide my shame without shoplifting?

But I somehow made it throught checkout intact, and I hurried home with my childhood memories surging and immediately showed my find to Gia.  Her face lit up as it had been this side of forever since she had tried it either.  I bought it because we wanted a meal of dips, fruits, pickled things and cured meats that night.  And on some weird impulse, I was able to find it.

We set up our meal with dishes of hummus, eggplant, cheeses, smoked sausage, crackers and stuffed peppers and I happily tore into the wrapping of the deviled ham.  There it was...the congealed layer of fat that I always loathed.  I shamefully slunk into the kitchen to scrape it off into the garbage.  Along with a thin layer of my soul, or so it seemed.  What was I doing eating Underwood Deviled Ham?

But it really wasn't bad, I'm sorry to report.  Nothing great, nothing awful.  Just so-so.  In fact, I think they must have changed the recipe because it wasn't as spicy or salty as I remembered.  Which was fine, because there was probably much too much salt in it anyway.  But it just didn't have that tang that I remembered from my childhood.  A little disappointing.

How about you?  Any semi-forgotten foods from you childhood that you secretely yearn for?


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Like Mason Reese said, it's a smorgasbord in a can!

Aug 27, 2009

King Baby Bacon

A dude who smells like a wet dog told me about some comedy that I just had to include in here on the old Verdant Dude.

Jim Gaffigan is the comedian and bacon is the subject. Anyone who has stopped by here over the past few years knows that bacon is near and dear to my heart. Or near to stopping my heart. One of those.

So my smelly friend felt like this would be the perfect companion piece to some of my earlier entries on bacon. Like this one, or this one, or this one.  I would be inclined to agree.

If you want to get right to the bacony bits, they start at around the 2:15 mark.



Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Bippity boppity bacon.

Aug 26, 2009


I guess a few of you saw the spam bomb that went off in my comments yesterday, huh? I've figured out that the language (traditional Chinese) and the country (Taiwan) that my spam-stalker is coming from. What I haven't figured out is....WHY ME?

There are little events that tear at the corners of one's bloggy soul that make this game a bit less fun. Inadvertently hurting someone's feelings by saying something you shouldn't have; calling Law & Order: SVU by Law & Order: SUV and having Slyde call you out on it; reading Dooce.  Stuff like that.

But nothing bugs me more than this ridiculous spam.

I woke up to some 60 odd spam comments from my Taiwanese friend this morning.  Most of it was just copying and pasting the same cyber-AIDS infected links over and over again, but this time he mixed it up a bit by changing the comment every 15 messages or so.  I appreciated that.

So after I dutifully went through and deleted all the offending comments, I implemented comment moderation on all posts here on The Verdant Dude.  I was loath to do it, but there really is no other option.  Maybe I will turn it off in a few weeks in the hopes that this vile fucker gets the hint.  But I doubt he will.  He has been persistent.  Creating false accounts to get past my anonymous blocker; manually posting to get past my word verification; commenting on only my new posts to get past the moderation on older posts.  So he wins. I lose.

And I'm sitting here just fucking grinding my teeth about that.  I fucking HATE comment moderation.  Almost to the point that I was willing to deal with this asshole's comments on a one-by-one basis.  But since he decided to fucking bomb me this morning...I just couldn't take it anymore.

In fact, this might be the final straw in the Wordpress vs. Blogger showdown that has been going on in my heart for about a year now.  Wordpress isn't perfect by any means, but they have a decent spam filter that would block all of these comments.  I don't understand why Blogger doesn't have the same thing.  It makes no sense.  I guess they feel like word verification and comment moderation do the same thing, but I'd rather have a decent spam filter.  One that I can check every once in a while to make sure real comments don't get caught.

So I'm going to see how angry I get over the next few weeks that I have to occasionally drop into my dashboard throughout the day to moderate comments and maybe the result will be my migration over to Wordpress.

And I'm going to plan my revenge on Taiwan.

The entire nation.  Fuck them!

PS - Hey look!  MovieGrenade is back!  ::snore::

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. 我如何與憎恨你性交?  讓我計算方式。.

Aug 25, 2009

Cut My Hair

So it's been about a year and a half now that I've lived with long locks. And it's been at least 8 months since the last time I got a trim, so I headed out last Wednesday to get that shit cleaned up.

Told my rock and roll stylist that I still wanted to keep the hair long, but I wanted to get rid of the split ends and a little bit of length. Especially in the back, as it was down to the middle of my back.  Seriously.

So he took off around 3 inches all around, maybe 4-5 inches in the back and I was pretty happy with how it came out. No I won't be posting pictures of my head, thank you very much.

But I guess I had been wearing my hair up in a topknot or back in a ponytail for months now, because the first few times I went out with my hair down everyone I know was shocked at how long my hair has grown. And this was AFTER I had it cut. Whatever. It just feels neater now and it is certainly less smothering in the oppressive summer heat.

But it's sill long enough for me to pull back into a pony tail, so I'm happy. And Gia's happy. That is what's most important.

Anyway, as Pete wrote, "why should I care?"

Cut My Hair
by Pete Townshend & The Who
Why should I care
If I have to cut my hair?
I've got to move with the fashions
Or be outcast.
I know I should fight
But my old man he's really alright,
And I'm still living at home
Even though it won't last.

Zoot suit, white jacket with side vents
Five inches long.
I'm out on the street again
And I'm leaping along.
I'm dressed right for a beach fight,
But I just can't explain
Why that uncertain feeling is still
Here in my brain.

The kids at school
Have parents that seem so cool.
And though I don't want to hurt them
Mine wont me their way.
I clean my room and my shoes
But my mother found a box of blues,
And there doesn't seem much hope
They'll let me stay.

Zoot suit, etc.

Why do I have to be different to them?
Just to earn the respect of a dance hall friend,
We have the same old row, again and again.
Why do I have to move with a crowd
Of kids that hardly notice I'm around,
I work myself to death just to fit in.

I'm coming down
Got home on the very first train from town.
My dad just left for work
He wasn't talking.
It's all a game,
'Cos inside I'm just the same,
My fried egg makes me sick
First thing in the morning.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Mine won't be their way!

Aug 24, 2009

Picture. Caption. Repeat.

Psst - I posted the answers to Friday's Movie Quote Trivia game on that post.  Go check 'em out!

I've been having a lot of fun on the Comixed website this weekend. It's a place where folks can post their captioned pics of whatever in LolCat-style.  I've seen a bunch of them all over the web, like the Batman/Joker dialogue bits that LeSombre was posting a few months back.  Those were all really funny, by the way.

Here is a hysterical one that someone posted using images from Twilight:

You can click it to big it, I think

So one of the features of the website is an interface that allows users to create their own.  They have a huge database of pictures you can use or you can upload your own if you like.  It's a lot of fun.  Here is one I did:

So if you are interested/bored enough, head over there and make one yourself.  All the cool kids are doing it.

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. The cool kids would probably give this post a swirly.

Aug 21, 2009

"Oh, George... not the livestock. "

UPDATE - OK, all done.  You've had enough time.  I provided the answers that you didn't guess correctly in red! - Earl

Thought it was time for another round of Movie Quote Trivia. I post 'em and you try to guess the film. Answer in the comment section and I'll give ya the credit. It's that easy.  Some will be a little difficult...some will be simple.  All depending on your Movie Quote Trivia knowledge 

Here goes.  These are all from films that I dig in a big way:
  1. "That sarcastic contemptuous tone that means you know everything because you're a man, and I know nothing because I'm a woman." The Birdcage (no one guessed this correctly)
  2. "I don't know anyone in New York who doesn't say 'I'm leaving'. I've been thinking of leaving New York for... uh... thirty-five years now." Blue in the Face/Smoke (Savannah) - WOW!
  3. "I get this ache... And I, I thought it was for sex, but it's to tear everything to fucking pieces." Ginger Snaps (no one guessed this correctly)
  4. "Hey lady - you want some fucking cheese? Get your own fucking cheese!" The Wrestler (Limpy)
  5. "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" Stand By Me (Paticus)
  6. "He's better at this than I've ever been at anything in my life. He's better at this than you'll ever be, at anything. My son has a gift. He has a gift, and when you acknowledge that, then maybe we will have something to talk about." Searching For Bobby Fischer (Artful Kisser)
  7. "'Vámonos, amigos,' he whispered, and threw the busted leather flintcraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight." The Royal Tennenbaums (Artful Kisser)
  8. "I was at Woodstock, for Christ's sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who's helicopter as it flew away!" Parenthood (Paticus)
  9. "Please tell me you're not waving your hand in front of my face." The Lookout (no one guessed this correctly)
  10. "What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here! " Lethal Weapon (Paticus)
  11. "What to do you see when you're in the dark, and the demons come?" In the Line of Fire (no one guessed this correctly)
  12. "11:55, almost midnight. Enough time for one more story. One more story before 12:00, just to keep us warm." The Fog (Limpy...kinda)
  13. "Dear Lord, please give us the strength and courage to tear this man from limb to limb." Diggstown (2abes)
  14. "You have to set an example even in the face of stupidity. Everybody who reads comic books knows that the Kirby Silver Surfer is the only true Silver Surfer. Now am I right or wrong?" Crimson Tide (no one guessed this correctly)
  15. "And I'm not gay, ok? I get that all the time. No, I'm not gay." 200 Cigarettes (no one guessed this correctly)
  16. "Not all of us who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we're not poets." Arthur (2abes)
  17. "Don't worry about it. They always hire bums like me for jobs like this. " Streets of Fire (no one guessed this correctly)
  18. "Your deputy's name is Barney? That's great." Clay Pigeons (no one guessed this correctly)
  19. "What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the Chinese guy from the Karate Kid. What's with you today?" Empire Records (White Rabbit)
  20. "I'm so hungry I could eat a grown man's ass right now! " The Foot Fist Way (no one guessed this correctly)

Bonus points for the quote in the title (O Brother, Where Art Thou? - Sybil Law) and in the footer (A History of Violence - Limpy).  Go get 'em kids!

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. "I should have killed you back in Philly."

Aug 20, 2009


I was thinking about the semicolon the other day.

Yeah, I know. You wish you could lead as exciting of a life like mine.

But seriously, I don't believe I have used the semicolon in writing since my High School days.  It's just something that I never use.  I know HOW to use the semicolon.  But it just doesn't come up all that often, if ever.

In fact, the only time I ever use it now is when I make a winky emoticon to highlight the sarcasm of a given comment.

; )

Thank God(dess) for the winky emoticon.  Without it, the semicolon would be dead to me.

Now I just have to figure out what I am supposed to use ~ for.

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. It doesn't get any more exciting than this, folks.

Aug 19, 2009

Hot as balls

Yesterday's post really wasn't meant to be a "poor me, I don't have anything to write about" post. Even though, in retrospect, that's what it sounded like. I was just thrown off of my daily routine by life itself and since this is the place that I talk about things like that...I talked about it. See? was hot as balls today. Don't believe me? Just check out the title of this post. It's right there.

We don't have a pool, because...well, our backyard really can't handle one. It's about 35 feet from our back door to the harbor shore and it's uneven ground right above the water table. Too low for an in-ground pool and too uneven (and smallish) for an above ground pool. Those suck anyway.

Don't get me wrong. I love living where we do. The view is gorgeous especially around sunset.  Tonight we enjoyed some cold beers on the lawn and some grilled hot dogs and french fries inside (in the AC) afterward.  It was all right.

But a pool would be nice.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Cold showers at 9PM feel oh so good!

Aug 18, 2009

I couldn't do it

So last night around 11-ish, I opened up the laptop and proceeded to my blog. I took a look at the half-dozen or so posts that I have in Draft, but I didn't feel like finishing any of them.

Then I thought about what was on my mind for a new post and I discovered that I didn't have anything on my mind.


So I shut it down and decided not to write a post for today. It's been over a year now that I hadn't posted on a weekday. You see, I try to post once a day during the week and sometimes on the weekend when I feel the urge. But I never made any pact with the devil or anything. It was just part of my daily routine along with brushing my teeth and scratching my balls.

Then I woke up today and saw yesterday's post staring me in the face and I felt a little bit of freedom.  "Hooray for me!" I thought.  I didn't post anything and the world kept on moving.  It wasn't until later in the day that I started to feel, um, not right.

It's usually a little after lunch when I hit my blog again and see what the madding crowd had to say.  But I hadn't said anything since yesterday, so why would anyone come to visit?  And they hadn't.

So I ask you, dear readers, what do you do on days like today?  Days when you just don't feel like posting.  Do you post something like this one?  A post about not feeling like posting.  Or do you just skip the day and move on with your life?  I'm talking to those of you who earnestly try to post something every day here.   Does posting every day ever feel like an anchor around your bloggy life?

PS - Word verification on comments is gone.  For now. - Earl


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Weak, Earl...very weak.

Aug 17, 2009

Boob Tube Bullets

 Just because. Just for scuzz.

  • Gia and I are nearly finished with Season 3 of Friday Night Lights.  The show, awesome by the way, has been renewed for an additional two seasons.  But there is a catch.  They are only going to be available first-run on Direct TV.  They will eventually be shown in reruns on NBC during the summer months, but if we want to watch them as they air we will need Direct TV.  Sucks!
  • And I am almost done with my month-long dance with Battlestar Galactica.  I just watched the first episode of the second half of Season 4 (that will make sense to most of you out there).  It's far more awesome than I hoped it would be.  I can't wait to find out what happens next.  This is a great show for the odd few of you who haven't given it a go.  So say we all.
  • Season 3 of Mad Men started tonight on AMC.  I haven't seen an episode since the series premiere a few years back, but I think this is the next show that Gia and I are gonna tackle.  So I figured I would plug it into the old DVR for future viewing.  Just in case.  Have I mentioned how hot Christina Hendricks is?
  • Do 3 items make up a bullet post?  I don't think so.  I'll fix it...
  • Bam!
  • Bam!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. What are you watching?

Aug 15, 2009

They were ever so sad

They were ever so happy, they were ever so sad
to grow old in a new world through good times and bad
all the parties and weddings, the ceilis and wakes
when New York was Irish, full of joys and heartbreaks

I remember a traditional that Tommy Makem and the Clancy Brothers used to perform.  I can't find a video of it, but it goes a little something like this:

Ahem ahem
Me mother's gone to Church
She told me not to play with you
Because you're in the dirt
It isn't because you're dirty
It isn't because you're clean
It's just because you've the whooping cough
And eat margarine.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. And I spent all my money on whisky and beer.

Aug 14, 2009


I'm a self-serve kinda guy.

Whether it's making my own coffee at the deli (I know how I like it), pumping my own gas* or using an ATM instead of a bank teller.  If the option for self-service is there, I take it.

But I've been reconsidering the self-checkout at the supermarket lately. 

It's not the service itself.  I love it.  Scan my own items, scan my card, bag my groceries...I'm outta there.  Generally a lot faster than having some kid or some semi-retarded handicapped person do it for me.

What I am beginning to hate is the other people who are using self-checkout at the grocery.  Mainly the person in front of me and the person behind me.

The person in front of me is either retarded or it is their first time using this service because they just can't seem to grasp the complexities of scan and pay.  The computer boggles their mind.  They, more often than not, fuck something up and require a "manager" to come over and fix said fuck up.  Then they can't figure out how to pay with their debit or credit card.  The machine tells them EXACTLY what to do...yet they still act as if they are being asked to perform some kind of complex medical procedure.  Slow and steady as they go.  Then they take forever to bag their shit at the end of the conveyor and I don't want my stuff getting their cooties so I have to wait until they figure out the bagging procedures.   Should only take a minute or so, but they clearly aren't in any rush.  They like it at the grocery story, apparently. 

I want to punch the person in front of me in the junk!

But then they finish and I am left to my own resources.  I do my thing...quickly and I go to bag my purchases.  And, once again...more often than not, the person BEHIND me starts scanning stuff and the conveyor starts going and our shit is getting co-mingled.  Is that my mayonaisse or is it theirs?  Who can tell at this point because the asshole behind me couldn't wait 20 seconds for me to finish my bagging.  And I'm not like the retard in FRONT of me.  I get the job done quickly, but give me a minute, y'all!

I want to kick the person behind me in the ass!

So I think I'm going back to the retarded teenage checkout kid.  He/she may have an extra chromosome, but  at least I won't have to deal with the rest of humanity while buying my toilet paper and Doritos.

*I've got to bust on Slyde a little here.  Back in the day he would never pump his own gas.  We'd be out and about and if he was driving there would be times we would need to stop and get gas.  He always would go to the Full Serve pump and wait for the attendent to pump his gas.  Even if they charged more.  He sheepishly would admit that he just didn't want to do anything wrong and look stupid.  Always made me laugh.  I believe he has manned up and started pumping his own gas as this was a while ago, but since I never miss an opportunity to take a jab at the guy I figured I would share it with y'all.  I'm sure he will be none-too-thrilled with me.  Oh well. - Earl


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. I fucking hate people, but I love gatherings.  Ironic, isn't it? Randall knows what I'm talking about.

Aug 13, 2009

The Zombie Apocalypse... coming. Are you prepared?

Seems that AMC has acquired the rights to "The Walking Dead", a cult-fave comic book series about a group of survivors dealing with life and the shambling dead.  AMC is gonna turn it into a series and since they haven't screwed up any of their other shows yet ("Mad Men", "Breaking Bad", etc...) my hopes are high.  And Frank Darabont is involved with the project.  That has to be a good thing.

I haven't read any of the comics yet, but my heterosexual life-partner Slyde drools over it like the zombie fanboy that he is.  In fact, I'm shocked he hasn't posted about this recent development yet.  Maybe the zombies got him.  I understand they consider nancy-boy flesh to be a delicacy.

See what I did there?  I affirmed his manhood in the first sentence of that paragraph (kinda) and then sullied it in the last.  I'm like tap water from indoor plumbing, bitches.  I fucking run hot and cold!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the dead kids are doing it.

Aug 12, 2009


 19th Century engraving

It's been a hell of a week for viewing the night sky.

Last night we had one of the most amazing lightning displays I have ever witnessed. And tonight we get the Perseid meteor shower.

I've been out a few times tonight and the cloud cover hasn't been friendly toward us star-gazers.  I've heard that the best time to see some hot meteor action will be between 4AM and 5AM EST, so I'm hoping to wake up around then for a peek.

You gonna watch?

UPDATE - 12:39 AM EST - I was just outside for about 5 minutes.  The clouds have dissipated and it's a pretty clear night out.  I guess the main guns haven't fired yet, because I saw only a handful of meteors while I was out there.  Two or three of them, however, were really freakin' bright!  Looked like they were burning up in the atmosphere just above my head.  I'm definitely gonna try to make it outside every couple of hours tonight.  Hell, I wake up every 2 hours anyway.  Might as well take in the scenery.

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Do we get to make a wish on all those "falling stars"?

Aug 11, 2009


We are experiencing one of the coolest lightning storms I have ever seen in my life right now. The lightning is striking a few miles off shore, but the storm has been sitting there for about an hour now. And it is constant lightning the likes of which I have never seen before.

Seriously, it looks like a scene out of a war movie where they show the war at night from about a mile away...bombs exploding in the distance. I have the weather station on right now and the dude says that those of us on the North Shore of LI may see an occasional lightning burst. But it has been steady for a long while now. Very fucking cool.

But all I can think about today is Montana. I've always been fascinated by those distant Western states like Montana and Wyoming. I don't know why. The wide open spaces, maybe? The solitude? I guess my fascination is similar to Vasili's from The Hunt for Red October. I just hope my last words aren't "I would have like to have seen...Montana", like his were.

Then I saw this map and all my dreams of moving to a cabin somewhere in Montana magically went away.

clicky to biggify - Courtesy of Flip Flop Fly Ball

Looks like Montana, specifically Turner, Montana, is about as far away from a major league baseball team as you can get in the Continental US.  Who needs that?


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Give me a ping, Vasili. One ping only, please.

Aug 10, 2009

Thanks, dude

So I mentioned the other night that Gia was feeling a little under the weather. She was and still is, a bit. Upset stomach, she can't keep anything, um, in. Well, as the loving couple that we are, we share everything. Including stomach bugs.

So I spent most of the day Sunday alternating between the bathroom and the bedroom or doing a squinchy walk between the two. I've managed to choke down two bagels to go along with some water, but that is about it.

My boy Wolowitz was very supportive throughout the day. He slept right next to me when I was in the bedroom and he would lay at my feet as I sat on my throne in the bathroom, exorcising the evil within me.

So it was truly lovely, after my latest bout of Cha Cha Cha*, when he jumped up onto the bed to see if I was okay.

Then he puked all over the sheets.

Thanks, dude.

*Cha Cha Cha has been a favorite euphemism used in my family to describe the trots.  I have very little idea how it started.  Maybe an old commercial for Pepto Bismol ("Diarrehea, cha cha cha")

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Doing laundry now.

Aug 9, 2009

You and me, 'bout it?

Three years with my love Gia.

It's the Dire Straits version that sealed the deal on our love. On our first date I mentioned how much I loved it and Gia was driving.  She pulled over and immediately played it on her iPod. "Gia, I'd do the stars with you anytime."  Our very first make-out session ensued.

But I kinda like this version almost as much.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. When we made love you used to cry.

Aug 8, 2009

I give up


This anonymous spammer is a persistent bugger.  He/she/it just won't go away.

First I outlawed anonymous comments. That didn't work. He just created a temporary ID and kept on going. Then I added word verification. Didn't stop him. In fact, it seemed to goad him on to further heights.

Yesterday, I noticed a comment from him/her/it and like always I went to delete it. Went back to the blog and saw that he had posted another comment on an old post while I was deleting the first. So I deleted that comment. Then I saw he had posted ANOTHER comment on an old post.

This back and forth went on for a little while until I finally broke down and installed comment moderation for posts older than 3 days. So he still might be spam me on current posts, but he is done for anything older than 3 days. It's a start. 

As soon as I implemented comment moderation on those old posts he stopped commenting. Well, he left two comments that I discarded before he realized what was happening.  If he persists, I may be forced to moderate all comments from now on.  Man, I fucking hate comment moderation.  But I also hate comments infected with cyber-AIDS.  What's a blogger to do?

I swear to God(dess), I am not a violent man. But I truly wish bodily harm onto this "person". It's like he holds a grudge or something against me.

Or it is just Slyde fucking with me.  Yeah...probably that.

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All fucking spammers must fucking die!

Aug 7, 2009

Live-Blogging* the Rivalry

Tonight Gia is feeling a little ill, so I am gonna sit here in front of the computer and the TV watching the first game of the Boson/New York four-game series at the Stadium in the Bronx. Let's see how this goes, shall we?

7:11 PM EST (Top of the 1st) - Here we go. Joba Chamberlain pitching for the Yankees against a stacked lineup for Boston tonight. Kevin Youkilis in left field? Only for a big series like this. Fucking Dustin Pedroia! That little rat fink seems to constantly be on base for the Sawx. But Joba settles down and after walking Victor Martinez, he gets Youk and Big Papi to fly out. Phew! No score.

7:26 PM EST (Bottom of the 1st) - John Smoltz is pitching for the Sawx. I don't think I'll ever get used to that. I'll be back and forth for a little while here. Cooking vegetable risotto in the kitchen as I type this and it requires attention. What's in the risotto, you say? Some red peppers, baby carrots, onions, green chilis and lemon round out the mix. Be right back! No score.

7:36 PM EST (Top of the 2nd) - Crap! Leadoff double to JD Drew. Guy's having a shit season so of course he is gonna step it up against the Yankees. Now Lowell works a walk. C'mon Joba! Bruce Willis is at the game. Yawn. Joba slows down so much with runners on base. Painful to watch. But he rallies to get a fly out and two strikeouts to escape the jam.  He needs to stop letting these guys on base, though.  No score.

7:47 PM EST (Bottom of the 2nd) - Having a few ice-cold Red Stripes to go along with the game tonight.  Didn't think about the "Red" problem until right now.  Damn.  OK, this will be my last Red Stripe of the evening.  Yanks need to start smacking this old man around.  How old is Smoltz? 53?  Seems like he has been around forever.  Posada mans up and dinks a hit to the opposite field.  Gotta start somewhere.  Let's see what Swisher can do with men on 1st and 2nd.  He was swinging the bat well on the recent road trip.   There's a base hit, but Jorge is thrown out at the plate!  He didn't even try to slide, just walked into the fucking tag!!! I really don't understand that play at all.  There's a mental error from someone who should know better.  No score.

7:59 PM EST (Top of the 3rd) - I'm still fuming over Posada jogging it in to home plate. Cost the Yankees at least one run there.  Mother fucker!  And there goes Pedroia with a home run to right field.  Wonderful.  I have a feeling I'm gonna regret this live-blogging post. Red Sox 1, Yankees 0.

INTERLUDE - Gia is up and about and we are gonna watch an episode of Friday Night Lights.  She is impossible to watch a Yankees/Red Sox game with.  So I'm not even gonna try.  Be back soon.

8:59 PM EST (Bottom of the 4th)  - OK, I'm back for a few minutes, and a lot has happened in the last hour.  Yanks are leading 6-3 and they have runners on 1st and 3rd with two outs.   Smoltz is out of the game after giving up 6 earned runs and both teams are pouring on the offense.  And look at that!  Jorge Posada making up for his baserunning gaffe earlier in the game with a 3-run homer!  Yankes up by 6 runs now.  Woo!  That finishes Smoltz' line for the evening.  3.1 innings with 7 ER on 9 hits and 4 walks.  Old man looks done to me.  Boston finally gets out of the inning.  Yankees 9, Red Sawx 3.

INTERLUDE pt II - Gia is a bit superstitious, me too.  So we are gonna watch another episode of Friday Night Lights and come back in an hour or so.  Fingers crossed! 

9:55 PM EST (Bottom of the 6th) - Our strategy of not watching the game is working.  Yanks are up 11-4 and they look like they are cruising.  Not one to mess with a good thing, we are gonna keep with our winning strategy, so...

INTERLUDE pt III - back to Friday Night Lights.  Back in an hour.

10:58 PM EST (Top of the 9th) -  OK, I really never went anywhere.  Sure, we watched a few episodes of our current favorite TV show.  But I was right here. "Watching" the game on the CBS Sports website.  It was kinda fun, actually.  Sorta like listening to the game on the radio, but with graphics.  I'm superstitious, yeah...but this game was too much fun and too important for me to ignore.  The Yankees are up 13-6 and they are one strike away from beating the Sox for the first time this year.  They really needed this game, and it puts Boston in a serious hole.  3 and 1/2 games back in the standings.  Hopefully this game set the tone for the rest of the series this weekend.

11:01 PM EST  - There it is.  Game over.  Final score 13-6.  Huge sigh of relief.  I'm going to bed!

*OK...I wasn't even really "live-blogging" the game.  I just was writing shit down here in the Blogger Editor while watching the game and Friday Night Lights.  Sue me.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Lamest post ever? Yeah...lamest post ever.

Aug 6, 2009

Grand Slam

Is there any singular event* in professional sports as wonderful as a Grand Slam? I know that they occur with fairly steady frequency and that singular events like a triple play or a straight steal of home are much rarer. But, for me, it's the Grand Slam that encompasses all that is exciting and wonderful about baseball.

*Obviously World Series viictories and no-hitters are pretty special, but they aren't singular events.

Especially when one happens at or near the end of the game.

On Tuesday evening Evan Longoria of the Tampa Bay Rays hit a walk-off 2-run HR against the Boston Red Sox in the bottom of the 13th inning. It was his second HR of the game as he had already drilled one in the 8th inning to tie the game up.  Oh, and he struck out 4 times in the game as well.  Baseball is a strange and wonderful game.

A walk-off HR is pretty damned exciting, but Longoria was upstaged that same night by Albert Pujols of the St. Louis Cardinals who hit a Grand Slam in the top of the 10th inning against the NY Mets to stretch the lead they had just opened up when Mark DeRosa was hit by a pitch with the bases loaded.

So it wasn't a walk-off, but it is difficult to beat a Grand Slam in extra innings in the baseball drama department.  At least in my book.  At this point in his career it might be prudent to simply walk Sir Albert when the bases are juiced.  Giving up 1 run is better than an automatic 4.  And that's how well  Pujols is hitting the ball right now.  You just knew he was gonna hit a Grand Slam in that situation.

Here are a few Grand Slam fun facts:
  • With his Grand Slam on Tuesday, Pujols now has 5 Grand Slams this season which ties a National League record with Hall of Fame legend Ernie Banks.
  • The full-season record is 6 Grand Slams held by both Don Mattingly and Travis Hafner.  Each of whom played/play in the American League.  Pujols has almost two months to tie and/or break this record.  I think he'll do it.
  • The interesting thing about Mattingly's 6 Grand Slams in 1987 is that those were the only Grand Slams he hit in his entire career.  Strange and wonderful.
  • The career record for Grand Slams is held by the one and only Lou Gehrig with 23.  Sadly, this record held by the Iron Horse will likely be broken in the next year or so as known steroid freaks like Manny Ramirez and Alex Rodriguez are hot on his trail.  Sad.
  • Current Mets player Fernando Tatis is the only player in the grand history of the major leagues to hit two Grand Slams in the same inning.  TWO IN THE SAME INNING!!! That's just crazy right there.
  • To put Tatis' feat in perspective, there had been only one other National League player who had hit two Grand Slams in the same game at the time Tatis had his record-setting inning.  And that player was a pitcher, Tony Cloninger.  Cloninger, by the way, is the only pitcher ever to hit two Grand Slams in the same game.
  • Kevin Kouzmanoff, just a couple of years ago, became the only major league player to hit a Grand Slam on the very first pitch that he ever saw in the big leagues and one of only 3 players ever to do it in his first at-bat.

And that is probably enough baseball talk for a while.  


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Slyde won't get this post.

Aug 5, 2009


So I had this dream the other night and it was a bit more vivid than most of my dreams. I mean, most of my dreams have me hitting a little white ball over a blue fence at Yankee Stadium or maybe pitching a perfect game. Either way, I'm usually wearing a white suit with blue pinstripes. But the details always seem to escape me. It's all vague in a somewhat glorious way. I, the baseball hero.

But this dream was a little different. I was me, not some dude playing ball for the Yankees. And I was funny. Not funny as I aspire to be here, which is really not very funny at all. But REALLY funny. Like Eddie Murphy back when he was funny...funny.

I was a stand up comedian doing my shtick in front of a loving crowd. And when I woke up I realized that the me in the dream was actually funny. Like someone I would pay to see tell jokes.

I can't tell if the jokes that I told in my dream were ripped off from someone far more creative than I, or if they were actually born in my subconscious. I really don't know.

I'll spare you the actual jokes, but they were about drinking and my cats. Two subjects I know more about than just about anything. So maybe they were my own.  Like I said, I really don't know.

Oh, and I realize that hitting home runs to an adoring crowd at Yankee Stadium and telling jokes to an adoring crowd at some smelly comedy club are really the same thing and that probably says a lot about my own need for some kind of bullshit approval from complete strangers or real folks in my life.

But don't we all want that?  Just me? 



Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Didja ever hear the one about the guy who never quite figured out what to do with his life?

Aug 4, 2009

Just because...

...I can't stop looking at this.

"Put me down, you freaks!  Ah-nuld demands it!!!"

Hat tip: GorillaMask, of course.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Look at the head on Andre.  It's like a planet!

Aug 3, 2009

Music Video Mondays - Bright Eyes

I know. I usually do these on Fridays, but fuck it! It's the Summer, y'all!

I don't know very much about this band. I'm only listening to them tonight for the very first time, but I like what I hear so far. The did a cover of Daniel Johnston's* Devil Town that was featured in Season 1 of Friday Night Lights on NBC and we dug the shit out of it.  So I went a-lookin' for some more on ye olde Youtube.

Thusly, here are a few videos starting with Devil Town (not made by the band themselves).

You can decide for yourself if you dig 'em like we do. - Earl
Devil Town
by Daniel Johnston
(as performed by Bright Eyes)
I was living in a devil town
I didn't know it was a devil town
Oh lord it really brings me down about the devil town

All my friends were vampires
I didn't know they were vampires
It turns out I was a vampire myself in the devil town

I was living in a devil town
I didn't know it was a devil town
Oh lord it really brings me down about the devil town

All my friends were vampires
I didn't know they were vampires
It turns out I was a vampire myself in the devil town

I was living in a devil town
I didn't know it was a devil town
Oh lord it really brings me down about the devil town

About the devil town

I was living in a devil town
I didn't know it was a devil town
Oh lord it really brings me down about the devil town

*Daniel Johnston's story is a pretty darned interesting one. 

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All my friends are vampires.

Aug 1, 2009

August Trivia Begins

Once again, a new Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge begins.

And once again, we congratulate Limpy on winning for the month of July.

That makes 5 months in a row that The Limp One has beat us all. Well, there was a tie in there as well, by you get my drift.

He promises to be on vacation away from a computer for a portion of the upcoming month. Likely story. But that opens the gates for the rest of us. A key to winning is playing every day. I think that in July only Limpy and I played all 31 days and he finished first while I finished second. It isn't rocket science. Oooh, that would be a fun category for Wednesdays!

Speaking of Wednesdays, I need some custom topic suggestions from y'all. Pick something you know tons of shit about. For example, Slyde could pick Judy Garland films or Clay Aiken albums. He would own us all on those.

So fire away!


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. See what I did with Slyde there?