May 11, 2009

Final Girl Film Club - Amityville II: The Possession

What the what?: One of my favorite blogs out there in Blogityville is Stacie Ponder's Final Girl site. Every now and again she picks a Horror film and asks her minions to write a review for it. She does the same, and's a film club.  This month was an easy one for me because I already had a review for this film in the can. Gia and I watched it last Fall and fell in love with it all over again. Or we were disgusted by it. I forget which. Let's find out! - Earl

Final Girl Film Club - Amityville II: The Possession

So last night we were watching Amityville II: The Possession on Monster HD (Hint #1 that this review was written last year.  Monster HD has been off the air for a while now - Earl). Don't judge us! Anyway, neither of us had seen it in over 20 years, and the decades haven't been good to this one. Let me tell you. Or have they?

Prior to the most drawn out demonic possession ever filmed (I'm only guessing here), there was a scene in the basement of the house that had us cracking up and making up our own dialogue. The eldest son is alone in the house and he had gone to the cellar to get a gun because he heard some noises that could have been an intruder.

All of a sudden he hears whispering voices from behind some hidden panel in the cellar. He yells out "Who's there? I can hear you!". That's the point when we started our own MST3K-ish dialogue, imagining what the mysterious voices in the cellar were really talking about:

Satan: You idiots! He can hear us.
Beelzebub: It wasn't me, it was Azazel!
Azazel: NOT! Satan, he's always blaming me!
Satan: Enough with the squabbling! I've had it with you two!
Mephistopheles: I WANT TO POSSESS HIS SOUL!!!
Satan: Shhh...inside voices, Mephistopheles. Inside voices.
Mephistopheles: I WANT TO POSSESS HIS SOUL!!!
Satan: (to himself) I can't believe I'm stuck in here with these guys.
Azazel: Satan! Beelzebub is touching me!
Satan: (slaps his forehead) Crap!

The movie just got better and better from there. Spousal abuse, child abuse, and incest. Yes...the creepiest incest scene ever filmed (I'm only guessing here). The brother visits his sister in her bedroom one night. He asks her to play the model/photographer game, and that's fine. I mean, who hasn't played that game with his sister every once in a while. But then he asks her to take off her nightgown. Her response? "OK, but only for a minute!"

You can imagine where the evening goes from there.

You're imagining it...aren't you? Sickos!

There is so much to love/loath about this flick.  And Burt Young was at his very sweaty best as the father of the doomed household.  1982 was a banner year for Mr. Young.  He was red-hot in Hollywood after wowing audiences in ...All the Marbles and Blood Beach.  He topped those winners with this masterpiece and another outing with Sylvester Stallone, Hulk Hogan and Mr. T in Rocky III.  I think his creepy interaction with his robot/sex slave in that one made for a nice sub-plot.   Or it would have if they had let him run with it.

Sorry...back to the topic at hand. 

As someone who grew up on Long Island and lived about 2 minutes away from the Amityville Horror home (and yet I never visited it), I can vouch for the realistic portrayal of the events in this film.  Long Island was indeed awash in demonic possession back then.  We just accepted it and moved on.  No need to bang your sister or kill everyone in the house.  I mean if you wanted your name in the papers, sure.  But usually the demons found life on Long Island to be as boring as Sunday brunch in Hell, so they departed soon afterward.  They just left you with a bad case of acne and a penchant for playing practical jokes on the clergy.

I believe they are all working gigs in Las Vegas these days. Something about the dry heat.

Amityville II: The Possession.  Feh.  Not the worst way to spend 100 minutes on a Friday night.

Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. All the wacky possessed kids are doing it.


Anonymous said...

Dude, if I recall I so rubbed one out to the "model/photographer" scene and in all reality probably would do so again. Diane Franklin was pretty hot back in the day, especially in "Last American Virgin" and "Better Off Dead".


2abes said...

Earl, I haven't seen that movie in forever. I gotta tell ya, years ago I drove by that house. It was a nice house...Is he out of jail yet?

Verdant Earl said...

Wil - She was hot and all, but the brother/sister thing didn't creep you out?

2abes - DeFeo is still serving 6 consecutive 25 year sentences Upstate NY.

Michelle said...

Ok then!

I guess I can put this flick on my netflix queue but its not really my type of film. Perhaps not then!!


sybil law said...

I came here to yell at you on behalf of Slyde, but dammit - you went and brought up MST3K and now I love you.
Also, is that the chick from "Better Off Dead" - the French girl?!

Verdant Earl said...

Michelle - yeah, it might not be up your alley.

Sybil - Heya! And don't be fooled by Slyde's allegations. He is known to embellish stuff. Especially about me. :)

Heff said...

Incest. I must watch this.

Verdant Earl said...

Heff - it's best, or so they say.

Slyde said...

no need to bang your sister?

NOW you tell me!

Unknown said...

As requested, I am here giving you a virtual spanking... let's say, three whacks right on the bare ass?? For even SUGGESTING that Slyde leave his family in quest of watching a movie.

For shame.

Callie said...

Incest and demonic possession.

Hmmmm . . . I'll have to think about that one.

Verdant Earl said...

Slyde - ooooh, nice one! (And I won't even say why)

Bina - OK, now go back and spank Slyde. He loves it!

Callie - what's to think about? Go for it! Watching it I mean. I wasn't suggesting that you should go for either incest or demonic possession. Unless that is what you are into. Freak. ;)

deadlydolls said...

You got my harumph (if that's a good thing).
I'm pretty sure the demons left after they got tired of being confused for New Jerseyans one too many times. Our feathered hair is sooooo much fluffier.

Verdant Earl said...

Emily - Heya! And the South Shore of LI was pretty big on, er, pretty big hair back in the day. May have even given Jersey a run for the feathered money. :)

~E said...

I liked the remake of the Amityville a few years ago. However, that might be because hotty mchotness Ryan Reynolds was in it.

and also because I watched it with my boyfriend at the time at his house and a good amount of tonsil hockey ensued during the movie.