Dec 20, 2006

Six weird things

Normally I don't do these things, but Lizzie was feeling kinda invisible so...

Here is my entry into this weird "six weird things" about yourself game that is all the rage with the kids these days.

- I have a real difficult time spelling "weird". Well not just "weird", but any word that contains the letters "e" and "i" next to one another. I know there was some real simple grade school rhyme that most of us learned at the tender age of 7 or so which works like 99.2% of the time, but it is still a bit lost on my. Never looks right until I spell check it. Wierd, huh?

- My middle toe on my left foot is the longest on said foot. It is a constant source of ridicule by some and disgust by a choice few. I try to wear sandals or flip-flops as often as possible to rub it (the middle toe) in their faces. Hah!

- I have an irrational fear of the water. As in "swimming in it". Not pools or hot tubs, mind you. Those I dig. I'm talking about oceans, bays or lakes. Anything that has any kind of life living below the surface. I don't like that. Not one bit.

- I bite my fingernails. But only two of them. The middle finger on my left hand and the ring finger on right hand. Seems arbitrary, right? Well I used to bite all ten (and sometimes my toenails when I was younger and more, ya know, flexible), but quite a few years ago I decided to restrict my nail-biting to just those two digits. Now all of my fury and anger is directed to those two nails alone. I call them my "bad fingers".

- I love anyone with any kind of harmless physical abnormality. Nothing that is going to affect their everyday life, but just the little things that make my life more enjoyable. Big, bulbous it. A bit cross-eyed? You made my day! Big birthmark or pencil eraser-sized nubbin somewhere on your head...I can't stop staring. I love combinations too. Give me a cross-eyed, big-nosed, nubbin-sportin' sales clerk while I am doing my Christmas shopping and I will be smiling for the rest of the day.

I, NO ONE with this thing. Maybe the madness will stop here. Just maybe.

Edit - I guess I have a hard time counting to six as well. Only five weird things up there. Oh well.


Anonymous said...

I have the saem problem with Wiener that you have with Weird...

I fucked up the letters like fifty times in my most recent post.


Anonymous said...

I always have to recite i before e except after c...and even then it doesn't always work cause that's not always the rule. ARGH!

I have the same fear of water. I can convince myself it's ok for a little bit, but then the images of giant pike nibbling at my toes become overwhelming and I have to get out of the lake.

Anonymous said...

I try to wear sandals or flip-flops as often as possible to rub it (the middle toe) in their faces. Hah!

you keep your creepy shrimp cocktail-esque middle toe away from me!!!! eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!

lol i couldnt help it. sorry. ;P

Anonymous said...

Hi Earl thanks for the good read I have only found you in the last few months and have enjoyed your stories. I have a similar problem with receive and friends. Spelling that is.
You keep writing I'll keep reading.

Anonymous said...

I can't spell freak without thinking very hard. Freak.

Thanks for letting me feel less transparent... that biting the toenails thing kind of grossed me out. Does shiny know about that? I think she ought to.

Verdant Earl said...

Steve - everyone has a problem with the uppercase Weiner.

Kat - Pikes nibbling on me. Thanks for that image!

Yas - giving you the middle finger with my creepy middle toe right now.

Grump - Welcome. Welcome all.

Liz - Hey, it was a long time ago. Not nearly that flexible any more. Much to the chagrin of Gia, I might add.

Anonymous said...