U.F.Oh Shit...

I think I want to become a UFO buff.  What kind of dedication does it take to become a buff?  Do I need to stop doing anything that can be considered living a "normal" life to dedicate those hours of the day toward my new hobby, er, obsession, er, calling?  Do I need to do something to get on an FBI watch list?  Should I stop showering?

OK, I don't really want to become a UFO buff.  Maybe I just want to become a bit of a conspiracy theory buff and UFOs seem to be behind a lot of those.  But being a conspiracy theory buff sounds exhausting.  How but just a conspiracy theory hobbyist?  That sounds harmless.  But I know me.  I get obsessed with my hobbies, whether it be comic-books, movies, beer or midget-fetish porn.  That last one nearly did me in.

So I guess I just would prefer to skip all the research, psycho-babble and speculation about aliens and UFOs.  I want to just...know.  That way, if there is a massive underwater fleet of UFOs lurking under the Southern Ocean near Antarctica and if the United States has been in a state of constant warfare with the alien horde, I can be prepared when WikiLeaks reveals it all to the world.

Especially if they are causing earthquakes and tidal waves and shit.  I live near the water, people.  You can't be too careful.