Over dinner the other night, we started to discuss how much we love meat and how much we love animals. The two loves that really don't go great together.
Denis Leary used to do a bit about deciding which animals are fine to kill and which animals need to be spared. I remember it was because of people complaining about killing dolphins when fishing for tuna. Why don't we care about the tuna? Fuck them, they taste good! And otters swim on their backs and do cute human things with their hands, so they get to live. Cows? Fuck them! Get on the truck...you're a baseball glove! Stuff like that.
My personal meat hierarchy probably looks a little something like this:
- Beef - The King of all meat, if you will. Nothing better than a hamburger to make me feel like the apex predator that I am. Steak, oh glorious steak! How I love thee! And yet the cow appears to be such a noble animal. Big, bright eyes. Nice teats! Too bad you taste so good. I almost feel guilty eating you. Almost.
- Pork - Ribs, bacon, ham, sausage. Nothing bad about swine. And that curly little tail? So cute I could eat it! Wait...what was that in my hot dog?
- Chicken/Turkey - I don't feel guilty at all about my chicken salad sandwich. Not one bit. Probably because I hate birds. What with thinking they are better me and all by flying overhead. Wait! Do chickens and turkeys fly? Who cares...pass the hot wings!
- Lamb - Have you ever gone to a petting farm and seen a cute little lamb that looks so innocent that you wanted to take it home and keep it as a pet? Me neither. They taste too good on some pita bread with a little yogurt sauce.
- Fish - My last choice when it comes to ordering an entree. Don't get me wrong, I love sushi and fish tacos and ceviche. But when it comes to eating out, it's the last place that I look. Good for you fishies. You get to live longer than the rest of the animals.
In all seriousness, we are thinking about giving up red meat for a little while. Just to see if we can do it. I have a hard time reconciling my love of hamburgers with my love of animals. I don't know if we can do it. Beef is such a big part of our diets that it seems impossible. So we haven't decided to do it yet. Not sure if we will.
Anyone else out there who restrict your diets? Or thinking about it? Just curious.
Random Wiki: An alfet was an ancient cauldron filled with boiling water, into which an accused person was to plunge his arm up to his elbow. If hurt, he was held guilty; if not, acquitted. It was also used for purgation. I'm guessing most people were found guilty.
