Big Fat Movie Review Weekend

Saw a bunch of movies that were on my NetFlix queue this weekend. I also ate at a great Barbeque joint, went to another wake, spent Sunday in NYC and attended one of the Yankee/Met games at the Stadium. But this post is about the films. Thought I would give you my quick 10-second reviews of each of them. Watched some on the laptop and some on cable TV. I'm bi-viewal, I guess. {{Insert joke here.}} Here goes:

nnnnn - Loved it.
nnnnx - Really Liked it.
nnnxx - Liked it.
nnxxx - Didn't Like it.
nxxxx - Hated it.


nnnxx Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007) - I hope I'm not giving away anything, but the movie opens up will fully-nude Phillip Seymour Hoffman giving it doggie-style to an equally nude Marisa Tomei while looking at himself in the mirror. If that isn't enough to pique your interest, then you are much more grown up than I give y'all credit for. The rest of the movie is a story of a heist gone wrong and the consequences suffered by one family, in particular. The performances are decent, Marisa Tomei is naked a lot, the story is so-so, and not much else can be said for me to recommend this to anyone. It was okay...I mean I didn't hate it. The Tarantino-esque playing with the timeline was more annoying than helpful. I found myself waiting for it to end more than hoping it wouldn't. I would have given it 2.5 stars out of 5, but NetFlix only lets you vote using round numbers. So I rounded up. You know...for Marisa Tomei being nekkid and all.


nnnnx Rocky Balboa (2006) - I initially saw this one in the theaters with Slyde, but it's playing again on cable so I gave it another view. Call me a sentimental old fool, but I really liked it. It succeeded in evoking the feeling of the first Rocky film where most of the others in the franchise failed. I liked the inclusion of many of the characters from the first film...that helped a lot. Even the old neighborhood was back. The premise and the fight at the end were kinda ridiculous, but it's a movie...fuck it. I think that most of you can tell without watching it whether you are going to like it or hate it. I was the same way. I was pretty sure I was gonna like it, and it delivered on it's promise. To me, at least.


nnnnx Seraphim Falls (2006) - I was pleasantly surprised with this one. I only watched it because it was available online and it was a Western. I'm a huge fan of Westerns and this one stars the vastly underrated Pierce Brosnan and the, um, tall Liam Neeson. It's the story of one man who is running from an atrocity that he is partially responsible for and another man who blames him for the act while seeking a reckoning. It strays into some moral and ethical fantasy toward the end, but I enjoyed it on the whole. Some may be turned off by the pacing of the film...it's slow. I reveled in it. Left me wanting more.


nnnnx The Man From Earth (2007) - Imagine if a man were able to live for 14,000 years. How would he accomplish that, how would he be able to handle the changing face of humanity and/or God? How would he develop relationships, advance artistic development, find the truth? In this film, a college professor spends a night with his colleagues and admits to just that. Some decent writing and acting are the high points, plus one nicely-done plot twist that ratcheted the whole thing up a notch. Not your standard fare, but if you enjoy Science Fiction and thoughtful discussion even a little bit then it may be worth your while.


nxxxx Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) - I was hoping to fall into a nice little slumber while watching this pappy piece o' crappy popcorn. No such luck. I made it all the way to the end. Yup...all 168 minutes. I deserve a prize or a lobotomy or something. Hmm...a lobotomy may have helped. Let us all hope that Johnny Depp can move on to something a little more in tune with his talent now that this trilogy is over. It's over right? Please God(dess), let it be over!!! When the final tally is done on movie trilogies, this one is gonna wind up being "fail" along with The Matrix and the second Star Wars trilogy. The "wins", by the way, are the original Star Wars trilogy and Lord of the Rings. The jury is still out on the rest of 'em.


Way to end on a high note, eh?


PS - I'm still having spacing issues with new posts on Blogger. This time without including any pictures. And now it's changing the font size at will. When will the madness end? - Earl