By B.E. Earl
02/28/2006 7:17 PM EST
Hey kids! One thing I forgot to mention about March 17th in my last posting was that it is the US and UK major release date for the new Wachowski produced film V for Vendetta. In anticipation of this event, I sat down last night and re-read my copies of the DC comic books written by Alan Moore that the film is based upon.
For those not in the know, ‘V for Vendetta’ was actually started by Moore in the early 80’s and never quite finished because the British magazine that was publishing the serial went under. Moore and DC Publications picked up the unfinished storyline in 1988 and finished it with reprints of the first part of the comic and new material. As Moore himself states in the preface, nothing much has changed (except the age of his daughter) since he first started the story as Margaret Thatcher and the Conservative Party were still ruling Great Britain. ‘V for Vendetta’ was his attempt to comment on a society that he felt was rapidly going down the wrong path.
The titular masked hero/villain, V, is a freedom fighter of unknown origins who not only is attempting to change the landscape of society in this future view of Great Britain, but is also on a vendetta against those who had seriously wronged him and others like him in the past. In this version of the future, Great Britain has survived a nuclear war that had destroyed much of the rest of the world. Having removed all American nuclear weapons from British soil by Parliamentary edict some time ago, they were no longer a prime first strike target. The nuclear winter and resulting famine and flooding, however, caused a drastic change in the government of the country. A fascist regime took over and soon Great Britain became a violent and corrupt Orwellian society.
Our hero, V, chooses Guy Fawkes Day in 1997 as his coming out party and actually succeeds where Fawkes failed in blowing up Parliament. The act is more symbolic than anything else as Parliament’s power had long since gone the way of the dodo. Along with his naïve young accomplice, Evey, V proceeds to rain destruction down on the fascist government and send the whole country into chaos. He also continues his bloody quest to hunt down his former tormentors and make them pay for they had done to him.
The graphic novel is extremely well written and intelligent, maybe even more so than ‘Watchmen’ for which Moore is more often lauded. The way that Moore was playing with the conventional form and content of comic books was revolutionary at the time. Even as dated as it seems now (the comic book’s future date was 1997/1998), we can see how well this story could translate into a timely piece of political filmmaking. I would love to see the Vicious Cabaret section from the comic book played out on the big screen, but I understand it has been excised from the screenplay. Too bad.
I understand that film is going to be different from the graphic novel, as should be the case with a work of this scope that has a multitude of secondary plots and characters. That is the great thing about adapted works of art. You always have the original to go back to. Moore himself has had nothing to do with this film having given away the rights long ago to his friend and collaborator David Lloyd. He has said that adaptations of his work have nothing to do with the work itself. Each should stand alone.
I’m hoping that this adaptation stands alone, but I’m also hoping that it contains enough of the wit and intelligence of the original to show the rest of the world the true genius that is Alan Moore. We shouldn’t have to settle for anything less.
Feb 28, 2006
Feb 24, 2006
Got Any Irish in Ya? Want Some?
By B.E. Earl
02/24/2006 10:37 PM EST
Hey boys and girls! St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and it is one of my favorite times of the year. Besides the weather getting warmer and Opening Day of the baseball season to look forward to, March 17th usually ushers in the beginning of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Good stuff indeed! But it is St. Patrick’s Day itself that is the centerpiece of the lovely month of March. So without further ado, I give you my Top 10 favorite things about St. Patrick’s Day:
10) The Quiet Man – Having this pearl on DVD doesn’t stop me from watching it every time AMC or some other station plays it during the days leading up to March 17th. Hey, they even showed it on Christmas Day this year and I watched it. John Ford’s tale of a retired boxer coming home to his birthplace in Ireland gets better with every viewing. Who would have thought that the Duke could play a romantic lead so well? I could do a Top 10 list of my favorite parts of this film alone. I could, but I won’t.
9) Corned Beef Sandwiches – Sure you can get them any time of the year, but don’t they just taste better on St. Patrick’s Day? Or you could go hog wild and get the full dinner with cabbage and great big hoarkin’ potatoes. Funny thing is that this only became an Irish-American staple after the immigrants made it to America because it was cheap beef. Go figure.
8) Andy Cooney – If you haven’t heard this Irish-American crooner do his version of “When New York was Irish”, well then I guess you simply haven’t heard it. My mom is a huge fan of this singer and we have seen him a few times upstate at an Irish resort. Plus, his brother teaches my nephew karate. So there! Oh yeah, and he also does a rockin’ version of “The Unicorn Song”. Can’t seem to get it out of my head once I’ve heard it though. Must…think…of…something…else! Aarghhhhhhh!
7) Black Bush – C’mon now, this is a PG rated blogsite so get yer minds outta the gutter. I’m taking about the Black label of Bushmill’s Irish Whisky. I just recently found out that it’s “Whisky” without an E if made outside of the USA and “Whiskey” with an E if it is made here. But then I saw a bottle of Maker’s Mark Bourbon that is made in Kentucky and they spell it without an E so maybe I’m just talking out of my ass. Good trick if you can do it.
6) Tommy Makem and the Clancy Brothers – I had a live album by these gentlemen some time ago and I only seemed to listen to it around this grandest of holidays. “Ahem, ahem…me mother’s gone to church. I ain’t supposed to play with you cause you’re in the dirt. It isn’t because you’re dirty, it isn’t because you’re clean. It’s because you have the Whooping Cough and eat margarine.” I still don’t have the foggiest what that means, but it makes me smile every time I hear it.
5) St. Patrick’s Day Parade – Not the one in NYC that is shown on the telly, but the one in Huntington Village which is always on the Sunday prior to St. Patrick’s Day. It pure drivel, but it’s a great day outdoors with my friends from town and it nearly always ends up with someone puking in one of the bathrooms at JD’s. Ah…good times!
4) Green Beer – Okay, I really don’t like green beer and I don’t know anyone who does. But I have to give props to all those bar owners who think that people actually do like green beer. The foine city of Chicago goes it one further and actually dyes their river green on St. Patrick’s Day. And we think the Dutch are crazy with all those Orange colored outfits at the Olympics. Strike that. The Dutch are crazy.
3) Irish Sweaters – I’ve got two hand-made Irish sweaters and St. Patrick’s Day is one of the only times I choose to wear them. It’s not that I don’t like them or they look bad on me. It’s just that I run a little hot most of the time anyway and these things make me sweat like a whore in church, and sweaty, chubby guys don’t get a lot of lovin’ from the ladies.
2) Irish Eyes – I love that on St. Patrick’s Day its cool to be Irish even for those without an Irish bone in ‘em (I refer you to the title of this article). Now I know that it’s cool to be Irish 365 days a year, but that’s because I’m just about 100% of Irish descent. I say just about because there is some debate over one of my grandmother’s claim to not being Irish. Her parents emigrated from England, but they were originally from Ireland. In fact her first cousin was Padraig Pearse who was a great poet and hero of the Irish Revolution. I think she just likeS busting our balls about the whole thing. That and she was Protestant.
1) Guinness – Mother’s Milk. The Black Stuff. Irish Viagra. Whatever you want to call it, St. Patrick’s Day is one of the only so-called holidays with an official drink. Lay down the Murphy’s Stout, put away the Killian’s Irish Red (made in America anyway) and save the Harp for another day. On St. Patrick’s Day we drink Guinness Stout. The only stout! Okay, we drink it the rest of the year as well, but damn it…we drink more on St. Patrick’s Day! Slainte!
02/24/2006 10:37 PM EST
Hey boys and girls! St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and it is one of my favorite times of the year. Besides the weather getting warmer and Opening Day of the baseball season to look forward to, March 17th usually ushers in the beginning of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Good stuff indeed! But it is St. Patrick’s Day itself that is the centerpiece of the lovely month of March. So without further ado, I give you my Top 10 favorite things about St. Patrick’s Day:
10) The Quiet Man – Having this pearl on DVD doesn’t stop me from watching it every time AMC or some other station plays it during the days leading up to March 17th. Hey, they even showed it on Christmas Day this year and I watched it. John Ford’s tale of a retired boxer coming home to his birthplace in Ireland gets better with every viewing. Who would have thought that the Duke could play a romantic lead so well? I could do a Top 10 list of my favorite parts of this film alone. I could, but I won’t.
9) Corned Beef Sandwiches – Sure you can get them any time of the year, but don’t they just taste better on St. Patrick’s Day? Or you could go hog wild and get the full dinner with cabbage and great big hoarkin’ potatoes. Funny thing is that this only became an Irish-American staple after the immigrants made it to America because it was cheap beef. Go figure.
8) Andy Cooney – If you haven’t heard this Irish-American crooner do his version of “When New York was Irish”, well then I guess you simply haven’t heard it. My mom is a huge fan of this singer and we have seen him a few times upstate at an Irish resort. Plus, his brother teaches my nephew karate. So there! Oh yeah, and he also does a rockin’ version of “The Unicorn Song”. Can’t seem to get it out of my head once I’ve heard it though. Must…think…of…something…else! Aarghhhhhhh!
7) Black Bush – C’mon now, this is a PG rated blogsite so get yer minds outta the gutter. I’m taking about the Black label of Bushmill’s Irish Whisky. I just recently found out that it’s “Whisky” without an E if made outside of the USA and “Whiskey” with an E if it is made here. But then I saw a bottle of Maker’s Mark Bourbon that is made in Kentucky and they spell it without an E so maybe I’m just talking out of my ass. Good trick if you can do it.
6) Tommy Makem and the Clancy Brothers – I had a live album by these gentlemen some time ago and I only seemed to listen to it around this grandest of holidays. “Ahem, ahem…me mother’s gone to church. I ain’t supposed to play with you cause you’re in the dirt. It isn’t because you’re dirty, it isn’t because you’re clean. It’s because you have the Whooping Cough and eat margarine.” I still don’t have the foggiest what that means, but it makes me smile every time I hear it.
5) St. Patrick’s Day Parade – Not the one in NYC that is shown on the telly, but the one in Huntington Village which is always on the Sunday prior to St. Patrick’s Day. It pure drivel, but it’s a great day outdoors with my friends from town and it nearly always ends up with someone puking in one of the bathrooms at JD’s. Ah…good times!
4) Green Beer – Okay, I really don’t like green beer and I don’t know anyone who does. But I have to give props to all those bar owners who think that people actually do like green beer. The foine city of Chicago goes it one further and actually dyes their river green on St. Patrick’s Day. And we think the Dutch are crazy with all those Orange colored outfits at the Olympics. Strike that. The Dutch are crazy.
3) Irish Sweaters – I’ve got two hand-made Irish sweaters and St. Patrick’s Day is one of the only times I choose to wear them. It’s not that I don’t like them or they look bad on me. It’s just that I run a little hot most of the time anyway and these things make me sweat like a whore in church, and sweaty, chubby guys don’t get a lot of lovin’ from the ladies.
2) Irish Eyes – I love that on St. Patrick’s Day its cool to be Irish even for those without an Irish bone in ‘em (I refer you to the title of this article). Now I know that it’s cool to be Irish 365 days a year, but that’s because I’m just about 100% of Irish descent. I say just about because there is some debate over one of my grandmother’s claim to not being Irish. Her parents emigrated from England, but they were originally from Ireland. In fact her first cousin was Padraig Pearse who was a great poet and hero of the Irish Revolution. I think she just likeS busting our balls about the whole thing. That and she was Protestant.
1) Guinness – Mother’s Milk. The Black Stuff. Irish Viagra. Whatever you want to call it, St. Patrick’s Day is one of the only so-called holidays with an official drink. Lay down the Murphy’s Stout, put away the Killian’s Irish Red (made in America anyway) and save the Harp for another day. On St. Patrick’s Day we drink Guinness Stout. The only stout! Okay, we drink it the rest of the year as well, but damn it…we drink more on St. Patrick’s Day! Slainte!
Feb 5, 2006
Wicked Smaht
By B.E. Earl
02/05/2006 8:54 AM EST
Hey kids! Have you ever watched a film and decided that you didn't really like and/or understand it at first only to decide at a later time that you actually did like it and that it has gotten under your skin a bit? This happens to me an awful lot. It happened just recently with a so-called classic horror film called The Wicker Man from 1973. As you know, both Slyde and I are big fans of the horror genre, but neither of us had ever seen this classic until I had the chance to purchase the DVD sometime last week.
Let me give you a brief set-up to the movie. In modern day (early 70's) Scotland, a policeman (Edward Woodward) from the mainland is lured to a small island in the Hebrides to investigate the disappearance of a young girl. He encounters a strange group of villagers who act as if they had never seen the girl before. He also encounters the islander's strange religious and sexual practices which is disconcerting to him as he is a devout (and quite repressed) Christian. Suspecting that the girl has been sacrificed or is about to be sacrificed as part of some neo-pagan ritual, he stays on the island in an effort to save the young lass. I'll not go any further in case any of you haven't seen this gem, but let's just say things start to go awry for our young, repressed hero.
I'm not quite sure why I gave it a thumbs-down after my first viewing. It surely wasn't what I expected. There were horror elements to be sure, but I certainly wouldn't classify it solely as a horror film. The first half of the film played out almost as a musical, if you can believe that. There were songs sung in pubs, in fields, around the maypole, and even one extraordinarily strange seduction sung by the landlord's daughter to the policeman while in different rooms! It also didn't go a long way towards explaining some of the strange imagery on the island, but I guess at that point I had already semi-given up on the film.
That next day, however, I found that it HAD gotten under my skin a little. I began to research a little of the background of the film and it started to fascinate me even more. You see, this film was the brainchild of writer Anthony Shaffer, director Robin Hardy and star Christopher Lee. In fact, Lee was not paid a dime for his acting in this film although he continues to call it his favorite film that he had ever worked in. This project was very close to his heart and he wanted to see it completed. Had he accepted his normal fee the film may never have gotten off the ground. Mr. Shaffer had wanted to do a smart, contemporary British horror film which then turned into a morality play, and partly made that weird left turn into musical/drama. The studio which had made the film (British Lion, I believe) was sold soon after shooting had completed and the new head of the studio, Michael Deeley, was not quite sold on the film. In fact, after an early viewing of the film with Shaffer and Lee, he asked them what they thought of it. They believed that it was one of the finest things that either of them had worked on. He replied that it was quite possibly the worst film he had ever seen.
Well, if the head of your studio believes that about your film it ain't gonna be easy to get them to distribute it. They tried to convince Roger Corman to distribute it in the US, but his offer was too low for the studio to accept. It soon found another distributor, but without the clout that Corman could bring to the table the film shot quickly to obscurity even though it drew rave reviews. However, it soon began to rise in the underground as a cult classic. Theaters were playing the film at midnight showings to sold-out audiences. With the advent of VHS (and DVD later on) the legend of the film has continued to grow. There are fanzines, websites and festivals dedicated to the film. One disappointing note is that the original negative to the film has been lost to history. It is believed that it was accidentally included in some garbage that was used for landfill in England's M3 motorway. Mr. Lee deduces that was a direct result of the dislike that Mr. Deeley had for the film!
So, with new information in hand I decided to watch the film a second time and damn if I didn't love it this time around! Even the weird musical scenes were a delight to watch. And the conflict between the repressed Christian ideology of Woodward and the neo-pagan joy of the villagers was especially juicy to behold. Britt Ekland (dubbed by Annie Ross to portray a Scottish accent), Ingrid Pitt (strangely, the producers kept her Polish accent) and Diane Cilento were all beautiful and quite magnetic on the screen. But it was the thoroughly delightful Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle that stole the show. He was funny, thoughtful, smart and not at all outwardly evil as the ringleader of the neo-pagans. A very different Lee than the one I had grown up on when he was doing all those Hammer horror films. He didn't look so awful in a dress towards the end of the film either. I guess you have to see the film to understand that last bit.
Now this classic is being remade for 2006 release with Nicolas Cage as the police officer. They've also switched locales from an island off Scotland to an island off the Puget Sound in Washington (or somewhere in Maine...I've seen both written). Now, I hate to bash a movie before it is released, but I am of the opinion that they should have left this one alone. If they had to remake it I would have preferred that the producers keep the Scottish flavor as the influence of the Celtic pagan rituals will be hard to maintain in an American version. And Nicolas Cage? Ugh!
Anyway, as I stated in the opening sentence, I like when a film gets under my skin a bit. This one had me researching Celtic pagan rituals which is not so easy since the history is murky at best. You see there was no written documentation of these rituals, so what remains today sometimes feels like a bad game of telephone...but played over a couple of thousand years instead of whispered around the room at a party. The maypole, the fire dance, John Barleycorn and the wicker man itself all are a part of early pagan practices although any specifics are hard to come by. This film left me wanting more, and I think that is one of the marks of a truly great piece of art.
02/05/2006 8:54 AM EST
Hey kids! Have you ever watched a film and decided that you didn't really like and/or understand it at first only to decide at a later time that you actually did like it and that it has gotten under your skin a bit? This happens to me an awful lot. It happened just recently with a so-called classic horror film called The Wicker Man from 1973. As you know, both Slyde and I are big fans of the horror genre, but neither of us had ever seen this classic until I had the chance to purchase the DVD sometime last week.
Let me give you a brief set-up to the movie. In modern day (early 70's) Scotland, a policeman (Edward Woodward) from the mainland is lured to a small island in the Hebrides to investigate the disappearance of a young girl. He encounters a strange group of villagers who act as if they had never seen the girl before. He also encounters the islander's strange religious and sexual practices which is disconcerting to him as he is a devout (and quite repressed) Christian. Suspecting that the girl has been sacrificed or is about to be sacrificed as part of some neo-pagan ritual, he stays on the island in an effort to save the young lass. I'll not go any further in case any of you haven't seen this gem, but let's just say things start to go awry for our young, repressed hero.
I'm not quite sure why I gave it a thumbs-down after my first viewing. It surely wasn't what I expected. There were horror elements to be sure, but I certainly wouldn't classify it solely as a horror film. The first half of the film played out almost as a musical, if you can believe that. There were songs sung in pubs, in fields, around the maypole, and even one extraordinarily strange seduction sung by the landlord's daughter to the policeman while in different rooms! It also didn't go a long way towards explaining some of the strange imagery on the island, but I guess at that point I had already semi-given up on the film.
That next day, however, I found that it HAD gotten under my skin a little. I began to research a little of the background of the film and it started to fascinate me even more. You see, this film was the brainchild of writer Anthony Shaffer, director Robin Hardy and star Christopher Lee. In fact, Lee was not paid a dime for his acting in this film although he continues to call it his favorite film that he had ever worked in. This project was very close to his heart and he wanted to see it completed. Had he accepted his normal fee the film may never have gotten off the ground. Mr. Shaffer had wanted to do a smart, contemporary British horror film which then turned into a morality play, and partly made that weird left turn into musical/drama. The studio which had made the film (British Lion, I believe) was sold soon after shooting had completed and the new head of the studio, Michael Deeley, was not quite sold on the film. In fact, after an early viewing of the film with Shaffer and Lee, he asked them what they thought of it. They believed that it was one of the finest things that either of them had worked on. He replied that it was quite possibly the worst film he had ever seen.
Well, if the head of your studio believes that about your film it ain't gonna be easy to get them to distribute it. They tried to convince Roger Corman to distribute it in the US, but his offer was too low for the studio to accept. It soon found another distributor, but without the clout that Corman could bring to the table the film shot quickly to obscurity even though it drew rave reviews. However, it soon began to rise in the underground as a cult classic. Theaters were playing the film at midnight showings to sold-out audiences. With the advent of VHS (and DVD later on) the legend of the film has continued to grow. There are fanzines, websites and festivals dedicated to the film. One disappointing note is that the original negative to the film has been lost to history. It is believed that it was accidentally included in some garbage that was used for landfill in England's M3 motorway. Mr. Lee deduces that was a direct result of the dislike that Mr. Deeley had for the film!
So, with new information in hand I decided to watch the film a second time and damn if I didn't love it this time around! Even the weird musical scenes were a delight to watch. And the conflict between the repressed Christian ideology of Woodward and the neo-pagan joy of the villagers was especially juicy to behold. Britt Ekland (dubbed by Annie Ross to portray a Scottish accent), Ingrid Pitt (strangely, the producers kept her Polish accent) and Diane Cilento were all beautiful and quite magnetic on the screen. But it was the thoroughly delightful Christopher Lee as Lord Summerisle that stole the show. He was funny, thoughtful, smart and not at all outwardly evil as the ringleader of the neo-pagans. A very different Lee than the one I had grown up on when he was doing all those Hammer horror films. He didn't look so awful in a dress towards the end of the film either. I guess you have to see the film to understand that last bit.
Now this classic is being remade for 2006 release with Nicolas Cage as the police officer. They've also switched locales from an island off Scotland to an island off the Puget Sound in Washington (or somewhere in Maine...I've seen both written). Now, I hate to bash a movie before it is released, but I am of the opinion that they should have left this one alone. If they had to remake it I would have preferred that the producers keep the Scottish flavor as the influence of the Celtic pagan rituals will be hard to maintain in an American version. And Nicolas Cage? Ugh!
Anyway, as I stated in the opening sentence, I like when a film gets under my skin a bit. This one had me researching Celtic pagan rituals which is not so easy since the history is murky at best. You see there was no written documentation of these rituals, so what remains today sometimes feels like a bad game of telephone...but played over a couple of thousand years instead of whispered around the room at a party. The maypole, the fire dance, John Barleycorn and the wicker man itself all are a part of early pagan practices although any specifics are hard to come by. This film left me wanting more, and I think that is one of the marks of a truly great piece of art.
Feb 2, 2006
All About the Mommies
By B.E. Earl
02/02/2006 5:31 PM EST
Hey Kids! A couple of news items have been buzzing my brainpan lately and rather than just let them stew in my noggin, I thought that I would share my oh-so-unimportant thoughts with the Slydesblog community. Here’s (really) nothin’:
Big Momma’s House 2 – Now I know that I’ve previously poked fun at this totally unnecessary sequel, but it just opened this past weekend and it really struck a nerve. This film, for lack of a better word, actually grossed over $28 million in ticket sales on its’ opening weekend. That is about what my beloved Serenity made in its’ entire theatrical run here the US! Who the hell is actually buying tickets for this crap? Didn’t anyone see the trailers? There has to be some conspiracy! And why did Martin Lawrence need to make this film? Were there so many unanswered questions from the first one? Wake up people!
I am so sick of trying to make sense of the weekly box office tallies. I mean, I know that there is nothing but crap out there, but you know what I do when there isn’t anything worthwhile to see a the theatre? I stay home and practice my embroidery. I’m getting very good. I’m currently making a quilt with scenes from all the quality movies that Martin Lawrence has made in the past decade. It shouldn’t take me very long.
Cindy Sheehan – OK. I’ve got all the respect in the world for those who choose to protest the war. Especially a mother who feels that the President lied to us, and who also feels that her son’s death in Iraq was a direct result of those lies. I’ve supported her behavior in the past, and I even got a bit of a giggle about her protest outside the President’s Texas ranch a while back. Guy can’t even take a working vacation nowadays without getting protested on. But she has crossed that tenuous line of my compassion in the past week with last night’s arrest in the Capitol and her photo shoot earlier this week with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Let me tell you why (in my humble opinion, of course).
She was invited to the State of the Union address by a Representative from the great state of California (I still giggle when Ah-nuld says that word). She was given a pretty good seat not far from the President and she was told that there would be no protests allowed in the Capitol. She was then led to her seat and proceeded to take off her jacket where she exposed an anti-war T-shirt that she picked out especially for this occasion. Security then led her out of the building where she was arrested for demonstrating in the Capitol. That charge was soon changed to unlawful conduct. Now, I’m a fairly intelligent guy. I know what she was trying to do. She wanted to get arrested. She wanted her name to be in the papers today. I’m fine with that. But don’t you think it would have been far more effective for her to have played nice and just sat there the entire time with a stern look on her face for the entire nation to see? Her Representative from CA must surely have alerted the press to her attendance. A few dozen shots of her sitting with her arms folded, shaking her head at the President’s rhetoric would have made an even better story for the talking heads at CNN. Without her presence, the camera had only a few disapproving shots of Sen. Hilary Clinton to keep us going. I’m all for protesting the war, but sometimes I don’t believe that these people are thinking straight when they are trying to get their message across.
Don’t even get me started on her photo shoot with Chavez. Aw, you had to go and do it, didn’t you? You got me started. OK…I warned you. This is the one that really got my blood boiling. Does she realize whom she slipped into bed with this time? This is a man who has openly praised his good friends Fidel Castro and Mohammar Khaddafi. This is a man who does not believe in a representative democracy like we have here in the good ole’ US of A, but a participatory democracy…not that anyone has a clue as to what a “participatory” democracy entails. He is a dictator. If not in name then in actions. He led a coup d’etat in 1992 against the democratically elected Venezuelan government and spent some time in jail for it before he, in turn, was elected President in 1998. That doesn’t diminish his thoroughly un-democratic actions since he has taken office, at least in the eyes of his critics. Maybe dictator is too strong a word to use at this point, but he has taken steps to dramatically increase the power of the executive in his country while controlling the police, military, judicial and tax authorities. Do the math.
You may want to do a Google search next time before you run off for a photo op, honey! Who’s next? Osama bin Laden? Go for it! Just make sure you let us all know where and when that’s gonna be. I’m sure US Special Forces would love to join you.
02/02/2006 5:31 PM EST
Hey Kids! A couple of news items have been buzzing my brainpan lately and rather than just let them stew in my noggin, I thought that I would share my oh-so-unimportant thoughts with the Slydesblog community. Here’s (really) nothin’:
Big Momma’s House 2 – Now I know that I’ve previously poked fun at this totally unnecessary sequel, but it just opened this past weekend and it really struck a nerve. This film, for lack of a better word, actually grossed over $28 million in ticket sales on its’ opening weekend. That is about what my beloved Serenity made in its’ entire theatrical run here the US! Who the hell is actually buying tickets for this crap? Didn’t anyone see the trailers? There has to be some conspiracy! And why did Martin Lawrence need to make this film? Were there so many unanswered questions from the first one? Wake up people!
I am so sick of trying to make sense of the weekly box office tallies. I mean, I know that there is nothing but crap out there, but you know what I do when there isn’t anything worthwhile to see a the theatre? I stay home and practice my embroidery. I’m getting very good. I’m currently making a quilt with scenes from all the quality movies that Martin Lawrence has made in the past decade. It shouldn’t take me very long.
Cindy Sheehan – OK. I’ve got all the respect in the world for those who choose to protest the war. Especially a mother who feels that the President lied to us, and who also feels that her son’s death in Iraq was a direct result of those lies. I’ve supported her behavior in the past, and I even got a bit of a giggle about her protest outside the President’s Texas ranch a while back. Guy can’t even take a working vacation nowadays without getting protested on. But she has crossed that tenuous line of my compassion in the past week with last night’s arrest in the Capitol and her photo shoot earlier this week with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Let me tell you why (in my humble opinion, of course).
She was invited to the State of the Union address by a Representative from the great state of California (I still giggle when Ah-nuld says that word). She was given a pretty good seat not far from the President and she was told that there would be no protests allowed in the Capitol. She was then led to her seat and proceeded to take off her jacket where she exposed an anti-war T-shirt that she picked out especially for this occasion. Security then led her out of the building where she was arrested for demonstrating in the Capitol. That charge was soon changed to unlawful conduct. Now, I’m a fairly intelligent guy. I know what she was trying to do. She wanted to get arrested. She wanted her name to be in the papers today. I’m fine with that. But don’t you think it would have been far more effective for her to have played nice and just sat there the entire time with a stern look on her face for the entire nation to see? Her Representative from CA must surely have alerted the press to her attendance. A few dozen shots of her sitting with her arms folded, shaking her head at the President’s rhetoric would have made an even better story for the talking heads at CNN. Without her presence, the camera had only a few disapproving shots of Sen. Hilary Clinton to keep us going. I’m all for protesting the war, but sometimes I don’t believe that these people are thinking straight when they are trying to get their message across.
Don’t even get me started on her photo shoot with Chavez. Aw, you had to go and do it, didn’t you? You got me started. OK…I warned you. This is the one that really got my blood boiling. Does she realize whom she slipped into bed with this time? This is a man who has openly praised his good friends Fidel Castro and Mohammar Khaddafi. This is a man who does not believe in a representative democracy like we have here in the good ole’ US of A, but a participatory democracy…not that anyone has a clue as to what a “participatory” democracy entails. He is a dictator. If not in name then in actions. He led a coup d’etat in 1992 against the democratically elected Venezuelan government and spent some time in jail for it before he, in turn, was elected President in 1998. That doesn’t diminish his thoroughly un-democratic actions since he has taken office, at least in the eyes of his critics. Maybe dictator is too strong a word to use at this point, but he has taken steps to dramatically increase the power of the executive in his country while controlling the police, military, judicial and tax authorities. Do the math.
You may want to do a Google search next time before you run off for a photo op, honey! Who’s next? Osama bin Laden? Go for it! Just make sure you let us all know where and when that’s gonna be. I’m sure US Special Forces would love to join you.
Jan 19, 2006
False Golden Idols
By B.E. Earl
01/19/2006 8:28 PM EST
Hey kids! As you may have figured out, I'm a bit of a film fan. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that I like to watch the annual award shows to see who takes down the big prizes each year. I was a little bored the other night watching the Golden Globe Awards when I decided to find out who/what the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is. If you are not familiar with the group, the HFPA is the organization that determines the nominees for each award category and subsequently votes on the winners for the Golden Globes. But who are they? I mean it never made much sense to me. Are they Hollywood press reporting in foreign countries about the entertainment industry? Are they foreign press working in Hollywood? Who are these people that the media focuses so much weight on around award season? Surely it must be an astoundingly large number of critics and reporters from around the world weighing in on the best that Hollywood has to offer. Hundreds if not thousands of dedicated men and women working tirelessly to hand out awards that are the pre-cursor to the big daddy of all entertainment awards, the Oscars. Right? Wrong!
The HFPA is a non-profit organization of somewhere around 90 international journalists based in Hollywood whose purpose is to disseminate information about film and television to a world-wide audience. 90 JOURNALISTS! Are you kidding me? These 90 men and women are the only voices and votes for an award as seemingly important as the Golden Globes? Now don't get me wrong. The HFPA does some fine work. In 2005 they donated $1 million to various arts and cultural programs around the world in an effort to further the advance of the film and television. They also donated $250 thousand to the Red Cross. That's very nice.
Where do they get the funding for their charitable work, as well as the funding needed to run the non-profit organization, you may ask. Well, they receive a sizable licensing fee from the networks to run their annual event...the Golden Globe Awards. They also receive licensing fees from various cable networks for allowing them to report from the red carpet. Hm-mm. So let me get this straight. The HFPA (all 90 of them) collect licensing fees from an award show that they run in an effort to award excellence in a field that is already swimming with too many awards. And they give out those awards in the award show that they sponsor, which in turn provides them with the revenue that they need to keep handing out awards the following year? Holy self-sustaining strokefest, Batman! And I thought I used to get confused with The Terminator and all it's time-line questions. Wait...how was John Connor born if he needed to send his own father back in time to be with his mother in the first place, and, and...system failure!
This is bogus, my friends. It's just another session of mutual masturbation that the media machine that is Hollywood has fashioned out of thin air. It made me sick to read about this, and if I ever see another weepy, blathering idiot of a winner (like Felicity Huffman this year) crying about how this is the greatest night of their lives I may actually vomit on my television screen. "You really, really like me...all 90 of you! You really, really like me!" Actually, it's possible that only 25 of the members liked you, honey. Or whatever number of voters that is needed to beat out whomever came in second place. What a piece of crap award this is!
Once again, I applaud the charitable work that the HFPA does. But they could easily raise that much and more by just asking all the nominees for a little some-some in an effort to elevate their public relations profile. You telling me that Harrison Ford can't come up with a good chunk of the million donated last year all by himself? And let us not kid ourselves. Most of the money isn't going to help poverty and starvation in Africa, or to help relief efforts in India. No, most of the money is handed out in the form of financial grants to cultural institutions to help further their own causes. There is some good stuff in there, but most of it isn't of the do-or-die type of relief.
You can find out more about the HFPA on their website www.HFPA.org, that is if you can stomach it. Me...I'm done with this award show in the future. I always thought that some of the choices were a bit odd (C'mon...have you seen Geena Davis in "Commander in Chief"?), but I always thought there was some kind of integrity about the awards themselves. I don't know what goes into the voting for the Academy Awards, and I'm sure it ain't perfect. I just don't know if I have the heart to do any research on that right now. Sigh.
Oh, and if you were wondering why we placed a picture of the stunning Scarlett Johansson (decked out in stunning scarlet, thank you very much) at the top of this article, it wasn't so that we could make some blatantly obvious double entendre about the Golden Globes and her outfit. I just think she's got some nice cans.
01/19/2006 8:28 PM EST
Hey kids! As you may have figured out, I'm a bit of a film fan. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that I like to watch the annual award shows to see who takes down the big prizes each year. I was a little bored the other night watching the Golden Globe Awards when I decided to find out who/what the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is. If you are not familiar with the group, the HFPA is the organization that determines the nominees for each award category and subsequently votes on the winners for the Golden Globes. But who are they? I mean it never made much sense to me. Are they Hollywood press reporting in foreign countries about the entertainment industry? Are they foreign press working in Hollywood? Who are these people that the media focuses so much weight on around award season? Surely it must be an astoundingly large number of critics and reporters from around the world weighing in on the best that Hollywood has to offer. Hundreds if not thousands of dedicated men and women working tirelessly to hand out awards that are the pre-cursor to the big daddy of all entertainment awards, the Oscars. Right? Wrong!
The HFPA is a non-profit organization of somewhere around 90 international journalists based in Hollywood whose purpose is to disseminate information about film and television to a world-wide audience. 90 JOURNALISTS! Are you kidding me? These 90 men and women are the only voices and votes for an award as seemingly important as the Golden Globes? Now don't get me wrong. The HFPA does some fine work. In 2005 they donated $1 million to various arts and cultural programs around the world in an effort to further the advance of the film and television. They also donated $250 thousand to the Red Cross. That's very nice.
Where do they get the funding for their charitable work, as well as the funding needed to run the non-profit organization, you may ask. Well, they receive a sizable licensing fee from the networks to run their annual event...the Golden Globe Awards. They also receive licensing fees from various cable networks for allowing them to report from the red carpet. Hm-mm. So let me get this straight. The HFPA (all 90 of them) collect licensing fees from an award show that they run in an effort to award excellence in a field that is already swimming with too many awards. And they give out those awards in the award show that they sponsor, which in turn provides them with the revenue that they need to keep handing out awards the following year? Holy self-sustaining strokefest, Batman! And I thought I used to get confused with The Terminator and all it's time-line questions. Wait...how was John Connor born if he needed to send his own father back in time to be with his mother in the first place, and, and...system failure!
This is bogus, my friends. It's just another session of mutual masturbation that the media machine that is Hollywood has fashioned out of thin air. It made me sick to read about this, and if I ever see another weepy, blathering idiot of a winner (like Felicity Huffman this year) crying about how this is the greatest night of their lives I may actually vomit on my television screen. "You really, really like me...all 90 of you! You really, really like me!" Actually, it's possible that only 25 of the members liked you, honey. Or whatever number of voters that is needed to beat out whomever came in second place. What a piece of crap award this is!
Once again, I applaud the charitable work that the HFPA does. But they could easily raise that much and more by just asking all the nominees for a little some-some in an effort to elevate their public relations profile. You telling me that Harrison Ford can't come up with a good chunk of the million donated last year all by himself? And let us not kid ourselves. Most of the money isn't going to help poverty and starvation in Africa, or to help relief efforts in India. No, most of the money is handed out in the form of financial grants to cultural institutions to help further their own causes. There is some good stuff in there, but most of it isn't of the do-or-die type of relief.
You can find out more about the HFPA on their website www.HFPA.org, that is if you can stomach it. Me...I'm done with this award show in the future. I always thought that some of the choices were a bit odd (C'mon...have you seen Geena Davis in "Commander in Chief"?), but I always thought there was some kind of integrity about the awards themselves. I don't know what goes into the voting for the Academy Awards, and I'm sure it ain't perfect. I just don't know if I have the heart to do any research on that right now. Sigh.
Oh, and if you were wondering why we placed a picture of the stunning Scarlett Johansson (decked out in stunning scarlet, thank you very much) at the top of this article, it wasn't so that we could make some blatantly obvious double entendre about the Golden Globes and her outfit. I just think she's got some nice cans.
Jan 14, 2006
Read Me a Story
By B.E. Earl
01/14/2006 9:33 AM EST
Hey kids! Happy New Year and all that stuff! Slyde sent me a note the other day to write something new for his blog, and after careful consideration I found that I have absolutely nothing to say. Nada. Zilch. Bupkiss. He and I can talk on the phone for an hour about his son’s most excellent day of pooping on the potty or what we think is going to happen on this week’s episode of “Lost”. This is very entertaining stuff to us (and to a few other we know), however, when trying to put pen to paper, something gets lost in the translation. Then, out of the blue, my friend PTJ started off a conversation with “So you’re pretty well-read...blah, blah, blah”. That got me thinking. I’m really not well-read. I do read a lot. Not as much as I should, but probably more than your average bear. I just don’t read the stuff that I SHOULD be reading. You see my taste in reading material matured when I was in the 9th grade or so. I like my fiction on the fantastic side, if you please. Sci-fi, Horror, Fantasy, etc… That’s what it’s all about for me. Oh, occasionally I will try to upgrade my literary…er…ness by picking up the latest book by Chuck Palahniuk or trying to get through “Moby Dick”, but I find that I’m mostly kidding myself. Just like Popeye, I am what I am.
So, in an effort to show my lack of literary range and to prove to Peter that I most certainly am NOT well-read, here are the last six books that I’ve read with a little mini-review for each. Enjoy!
“The Tomb” (F. Paul Wilson) – So I read this book way back in the mid-80’s when it first was published, and I just recently found it again. It’s central character, Repairman Jack, is a man with no identity who works outside the law “fixing” his customer’s problems. In this case, he was hired by an ex-girlfriend (who was none too fond of his sometimes violent occupation) to find one of her aunt’s who has gone missing. An Indian man who wants to find a necklace that some thug stole from his grandmother’s neck also hires him. Pretty soon we find that the two cases are connected with an ancient evil that has recently been re-awakened that involves both the family of the Indian gentleman and the British in-laws of his ex-girlfriend.
I always liked this book and it’s main protagonist. Jack is the kind of hero I enjoy reading stories about. He is dangerous and intelligent but with a heart of gold and an unwavering sense of loyalty and revenge. I would constantly check the bookstore for the many sequels that I hoped would follow only to be dissappointed again and again. I guess I stopped checking for them sometime in the mid-90’s. Well, Repairman Jack is back with a vengeance! Wilson re-released “The Tomb” in 1998 (updating some of background info that had previously dated it), and has written half a dozen sequels since then. I haven’t tried to hard, but I will eventually find them and read them like a madman. This is good macho stuff!
“Two Trains Running” (Andrew Vachss) – Think about Last Man Standing starring Bruce Willis. Better yet, think about the movie that film was based on, A Fistful of Dollars starring Clint Eastwood. Better yet, think about the movie THAT film was based on, Yojimbo starring Toshiro Mifune, and you will have an idea what this novel is about. A lone gunman for hire comes to a town where a number of competing gangs are on the verge of a street war. It’s all mixed in with the some early references to the JFK presidential campaign and the race riots of the early 60’s in one big mish-mash of a noir-ish tale.
I’m a huge, huge fan of Andrew Vachss especially of his Burke novels, but I gotta admit that this one left me a little flat. Vachss dialogue always reminds me of David Mamet at his worst with the vague threats and hidden messages, but this one contains some of his cheesiest. Add that to an even more confusing ending than he usually writes (Vachss likes to end his books with a bang), and this one gets a thumbs-down from me.
“Night Fall” (Nelson DeMille) – Reading a novel about the investigation of the crash of TWA Flight 800 while on a plane is probably not a great idea, but I had wanted to read this one since it was published and I finally got the chance recently. I’m not a big fan of DeMille’s work, but I do like the John Corey novels. Much like the loner characters in the previous two books, Corey is a can-do type of hero who works best outside the establishment. Unfortunately he is a former NYPD officer who is currently working with the federal government’s Anti-Terrorist Unit ala Jack Bauer in “24” so that doesn’t always work out for him.
This was a great read, not diminished at all by the fact that I knew exactly how the book was going to end. I’m not going to spoil anything for you, but the events lead us up to NYC in September of 2001 and the book was written in 2004. Doesn’t take a genius to connect those dots, so it worked just fine for me. I’ll keep reading John Corey books as long as Mr. DeMille wants to write them.
“Midnight Mass” (F. Paul Wilson) – I found this book one day while looking for some of the Repairman Jack novels, and failing to do so. It’s a tale about a world in which vampires have taken over and a small band of freedom fighters (including a priest falsely accused of pedophilia, a rabbi and a lesbian agnostic) from New Jersey fight on the side of Good.
Wilson returned to the classic (or semi-classic) interpretation of vampires for this one. No lovesick, poetry-reading, sensitive vamps in this one. Vampires are evil incarnate here, and they are held in check by the symbols of Christianity (the cross, the altar, holy water, etc…). In the forward to the novel, Wilson bemoaned the dearth of good ole’ vampire tales since Stephen King wrote “’salem’s Lot” so many years ago. Now, I’m not saying that this book even approaches the scares that King’s classic vampire novel gave us back in the day, but it was a nice change of pace from Anne Rice.
“Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West” (Gregory Maguire) – I started to read this one back in the summer and it never really left the ground for me. I found it again a week or so ago at my mother’s house and decided to give it another go. This, of course, is the book that inspired a Broadway musical of the same name. It tells the tale of the life of our favorite green girl from “The Wizard of Oz” from a far more sympathetic angle. The self-proclaimed Wicked Witch of the West was, in fact, an intelligent outsider in Munchinland whose past as a political insurgent (and terrorist) was, at times, aided by unforeseen forces.
Maguire’s novel puts his readers on the side of Elphaba from her roots as an odd-duck of a child born of dysfunctional parents to her untimely death at the hands of the little girl from Kansas who stole her sister’s shoes. He also manages to transform the fairly tame and antiseptic world of Oz (as rendered in the film, at least) to an incredibly diverse and interesting parallel to our own reality. I have to admit that some of those parallels are a bit beyond me, and I finished the novel with a great many questions, but I think really good books do that. “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman had me researching various cultures’ old myths almost as soon as I finished it. Great books leave you wanting more, and that’s what “Wicked” did for me.
“The Runes of the Earth” (Stephen R. Donaldson) – The first chapter in the Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. That probably doesn’t mean much to most of you, but for us fans this is a godsend. After a long wait, Donaldson brings us back to the Land that he wrote about in six previous books about a leper/writer who is transported to another world where he is believed to be the reincarnation of a legendary hero named Berek Half-hand. Covenant was suspected to be Berek because he had lost the first two fingers in his right hand to leprosy and also because of the white gold wedding band that he wore even after his wife left him. White gold was also wielded by the hero Berek in the past, and it gave its’ user power over the wild magic that was bound directly to the Land itself. Covenant’s belief (or Unbelief, as it were) that he was dreaming and that the Land wasn’t real led to some bittersweet consequences for our anti-hero. That played itself out during the First and Second Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.
This novel takes place ten years in our world after the events of the last trilogy. I mentioned “in our world” because time moves much fast in the Land than it does in ours. I’ve only just started it, but I can tell that Donaldson hasn’t lost his touch. I was going to wait until all four (aargh!!!) of the books were published, but I just couldn’t hold off. The first two series (both trilogies) are some of my favorite books ever written. I read them for the first time when I was in high school, but I’ve re-read each series four or five times since. I even persuaded Slyde to read them after years of lobbying, and he agreed that they were great books when he finally did read them. I know that I’m going to be pissed when I finish it because I’m going to want to read the next one immediately because that’s how we roll, but what can you do?
01/14/2006 9:33 AM EST
Hey kids! Happy New Year and all that stuff! Slyde sent me a note the other day to write something new for his blog, and after careful consideration I found that I have absolutely nothing to say. Nada. Zilch. Bupkiss. He and I can talk on the phone for an hour about his son’s most excellent day of pooping on the potty or what we think is going to happen on this week’s episode of “Lost”. This is very entertaining stuff to us (and to a few other we know), however, when trying to put pen to paper, something gets lost in the translation. Then, out of the blue, my friend PTJ started off a conversation with “So you’re pretty well-read...blah, blah, blah”. That got me thinking. I’m really not well-read. I do read a lot. Not as much as I should, but probably more than your average bear. I just don’t read the stuff that I SHOULD be reading. You see my taste in reading material matured when I was in the 9th grade or so. I like my fiction on the fantastic side, if you please. Sci-fi, Horror, Fantasy, etc… That’s what it’s all about for me. Oh, occasionally I will try to upgrade my literary…er…ness by picking up the latest book by Chuck Palahniuk or trying to get through “Moby Dick”, but I find that I’m mostly kidding myself. Just like Popeye, I am what I am.
So, in an effort to show my lack of literary range and to prove to Peter that I most certainly am NOT well-read, here are the last six books that I’ve read with a little mini-review for each. Enjoy!
“The Tomb” (F. Paul Wilson) – So I read this book way back in the mid-80’s when it first was published, and I just recently found it again. It’s central character, Repairman Jack, is a man with no identity who works outside the law “fixing” his customer’s problems. In this case, he was hired by an ex-girlfriend (who was none too fond of his sometimes violent occupation) to find one of her aunt’s who has gone missing. An Indian man who wants to find a necklace that some thug stole from his grandmother’s neck also hires him. Pretty soon we find that the two cases are connected with an ancient evil that has recently been re-awakened that involves both the family of the Indian gentleman and the British in-laws of his ex-girlfriend.
I always liked this book and it’s main protagonist. Jack is the kind of hero I enjoy reading stories about. He is dangerous and intelligent but with a heart of gold and an unwavering sense of loyalty and revenge. I would constantly check the bookstore for the many sequels that I hoped would follow only to be dissappointed again and again. I guess I stopped checking for them sometime in the mid-90’s. Well, Repairman Jack is back with a vengeance! Wilson re-released “The Tomb” in 1998 (updating some of background info that had previously dated it), and has written half a dozen sequels since then. I haven’t tried to hard, but I will eventually find them and read them like a madman. This is good macho stuff!
“Two Trains Running” (Andrew Vachss) – Think about Last Man Standing starring Bruce Willis. Better yet, think about the movie that film was based on, A Fistful of Dollars starring Clint Eastwood. Better yet, think about the movie THAT film was based on, Yojimbo starring Toshiro Mifune, and you will have an idea what this novel is about. A lone gunman for hire comes to a town where a number of competing gangs are on the verge of a street war. It’s all mixed in with the some early references to the JFK presidential campaign and the race riots of the early 60’s in one big mish-mash of a noir-ish tale.
I’m a huge, huge fan of Andrew Vachss especially of his Burke novels, but I gotta admit that this one left me a little flat. Vachss dialogue always reminds me of David Mamet at his worst with the vague threats and hidden messages, but this one contains some of his cheesiest. Add that to an even more confusing ending than he usually writes (Vachss likes to end his books with a bang), and this one gets a thumbs-down from me.
“Night Fall” (Nelson DeMille) – Reading a novel about the investigation of the crash of TWA Flight 800 while on a plane is probably not a great idea, but I had wanted to read this one since it was published and I finally got the chance recently. I’m not a big fan of DeMille’s work, but I do like the John Corey novels. Much like the loner characters in the previous two books, Corey is a can-do type of hero who works best outside the establishment. Unfortunately he is a former NYPD officer who is currently working with the federal government’s Anti-Terrorist Unit ala Jack Bauer in “24” so that doesn’t always work out for him.
This was a great read, not diminished at all by the fact that I knew exactly how the book was going to end. I’m not going to spoil anything for you, but the events lead us up to NYC in September of 2001 and the book was written in 2004. Doesn’t take a genius to connect those dots, so it worked just fine for me. I’ll keep reading John Corey books as long as Mr. DeMille wants to write them.
“Midnight Mass” (F. Paul Wilson) – I found this book one day while looking for some of the Repairman Jack novels, and failing to do so. It’s a tale about a world in which vampires have taken over and a small band of freedom fighters (including a priest falsely accused of pedophilia, a rabbi and a lesbian agnostic) from New Jersey fight on the side of Good.
Wilson returned to the classic (or semi-classic) interpretation of vampires for this one. No lovesick, poetry-reading, sensitive vamps in this one. Vampires are evil incarnate here, and they are held in check by the symbols of Christianity (the cross, the altar, holy water, etc…). In the forward to the novel, Wilson bemoaned the dearth of good ole’ vampire tales since Stephen King wrote “’salem’s Lot” so many years ago. Now, I’m not saying that this book even approaches the scares that King’s classic vampire novel gave us back in the day, but it was a nice change of pace from Anne Rice.
“Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West” (Gregory Maguire) – I started to read this one back in the summer and it never really left the ground for me. I found it again a week or so ago at my mother’s house and decided to give it another go. This, of course, is the book that inspired a Broadway musical of the same name. It tells the tale of the life of our favorite green girl from “The Wizard of Oz” from a far more sympathetic angle. The self-proclaimed Wicked Witch of the West was, in fact, an intelligent outsider in Munchinland whose past as a political insurgent (and terrorist) was, at times, aided by unforeseen forces.
Maguire’s novel puts his readers on the side of Elphaba from her roots as an odd-duck of a child born of dysfunctional parents to her untimely death at the hands of the little girl from Kansas who stole her sister’s shoes. He also manages to transform the fairly tame and antiseptic world of Oz (as rendered in the film, at least) to an incredibly diverse and interesting parallel to our own reality. I have to admit that some of those parallels are a bit beyond me, and I finished the novel with a great many questions, but I think really good books do that. “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman had me researching various cultures’ old myths almost as soon as I finished it. Great books leave you wanting more, and that’s what “Wicked” did for me.
“The Runes of the Earth” (Stephen R. Donaldson) – The first chapter in the Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. That probably doesn’t mean much to most of you, but for us fans this is a godsend. After a long wait, Donaldson brings us back to the Land that he wrote about in six previous books about a leper/writer who is transported to another world where he is believed to be the reincarnation of a legendary hero named Berek Half-hand. Covenant was suspected to be Berek because he had lost the first two fingers in his right hand to leprosy and also because of the white gold wedding band that he wore even after his wife left him. White gold was also wielded by the hero Berek in the past, and it gave its’ user power over the wild magic that was bound directly to the Land itself. Covenant’s belief (or Unbelief, as it were) that he was dreaming and that the Land wasn’t real led to some bittersweet consequences for our anti-hero. That played itself out during the First and Second Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.
This novel takes place ten years in our world after the events of the last trilogy. I mentioned “in our world” because time moves much fast in the Land than it does in ours. I’ve only just started it, but I can tell that Donaldson hasn’t lost his touch. I was going to wait until all four (aargh!!!) of the books were published, but I just couldn’t hold off. The first two series (both trilogies) are some of my favorite books ever written. I read them for the first time when I was in high school, but I’ve re-read each series four or five times since. I even persuaded Slyde to read them after years of lobbying, and he agreed that they were great books when he finally did read them. I know that I’m going to be pissed when I finish it because I’m going to want to read the next one immediately because that’s how we roll, but what can you do?
Dec 16, 2005
Tales of the Black Sock
By B.E. Earl
12/16/2005 7:51 PM EST
Hey kids! It’s Earl again with some non-movie related silliness for your reading entertainment. I took my usual early December vacation last week to do some additional damage to my liver, and this year’s hot spot was Key West, Florida. I’ve been to Key West a number of times of the past dozen years or so, and its’ always one of my favorite places to be. Great weather, great restaurants and bars, friendly locals and there is sure to be some kind of weirdness going on whenever I’m there. I’ve seen Jimmy Buffett perform on the street, I’ve seen drag queens galore, I’ve seen manatees up close and personal, but nothing…nothing prepared me for what I saw this past week at Fantasy Fest.
Let me give you a little background on Fantasy Fest in Key West. Fantasy Fest is their off-kilter version of something like Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Carnivale in Rio. It’s a chance for many, many people to come down and unwind in the warm sun and warmer nightlife of Key West and dance to their own tune, so to speak. Mind you, Key West is more than a little friendly to those with an alternative lifestyle, so you can imagine what happens when the city throws a party and asks everyone to REALLY let loose.
I’ve never been to Fantasy Fest before. I love Key West, but I prefer it during the down times when the streets aren’t clogged with tourists and there is no need for reservations at Louie’s Backyard. It’s just how I like/liked New Orleans. Great town, but I would never go during Mardi Gras. I like to actually be able to get into the bars and restaurants rather than shuffling along the sidewalks with all the other sweaty drunks. I had not planned on going to Fantasy Fest this year either, however, Mother Nature pointed her magic wand and made Fantasy Fest come to me.
You see, it was supposed to be the week before Halloween like it is scheduled every year. Costume parties, parades, Pimps & Ho’s parties, leather fetish nights, toga galas, the works. It happens every year culminating with the fat lady singing on the Sunday prior to Halloween. Hurricane Wilma begged to differ. While the hurricane hit the little island four days before the Fest was supposed to start, the city was a few feet underwater and there was no way it could support the influx of Fest-ers. When I read that city officials were planning on re-scheduling the OddFest, I knew that it would be during my trip down there. I mean I just KNEW it! I viewed this scheduling change with equal part dread and fascination. What we saw down there also turned out to be equal parts dread and fascination.
The official website for Fantasy Fest warns that nudity is illegal in the city of Key West and that all revelers were encouraged to remain clothed at all times. Apparently body paint is ok for the ladies as long as your privates remain private. The first night of Fantasy Fest, this seemed to be the case. As the days wore on, however, all bets were off. On Day 2 we saw a woman of 45 or so pedaling down the street on her bike wearing nothing but a smile. The cops didn’t seem to mind, and oh yeah…it was still 11:30 in the morning! Lady Godiva was getting the party started early.
I’ve never been to a nudist colony or beach before, but I had heard horror stories of flabby old men and women, most of whom you would prefer to see wearing quite a few layers of clothes. This describes the majority of those that chose to be naked during Fantasy Fest. Whoops…there goes grandma and grandpa, and…ouch…she’s actually wearing more than him. How does he keep that black sock on? Yeah…you read it. One black sock. That scene played itself over and over again during our time at Fantasy Fest.
Oh sure. There were some attractive folks who decided on going au natural, but they were few and far between. There was one woman we kept running into who was mostly nude and very attractive and she seemed content with just standing around while everyone under the moon posed for pictures with her. To that young lady I say well done. Most of them, however, liked going to the gym as much as they disliked wearing clothing. Don’t get me wrong. I had a pisser down there! These people had no hang-ups whatsoever and they all looked like they were having a wonderful time. I often wondered how they purchased drinks since none of them had any place to put money, but they all seemed to be appropriately liquored up so maybe folks were just giving up booze. I dunno.
So if you are ever thinking of attending Fantasy Fest, let me plant this little thought in your head. Go down to the local supermarket sometime during the day when all the retirees are out shopping for kitty litter and prune juice and picture all of them wandering the streets of Key West wearing g-strings and the aforementioned black sock. If you are able to keep your lunch down, then take a trip and keep your sense of humor because a sense of humor is all that you need to keep you going. Oh…and one black sock of course.
12/16/2005 7:51 PM EST
Hey kids! It’s Earl again with some non-movie related silliness for your reading entertainment. I took my usual early December vacation last week to do some additional damage to my liver, and this year’s hot spot was Key West, Florida. I’ve been to Key West a number of times of the past dozen years or so, and its’ always one of my favorite places to be. Great weather, great restaurants and bars, friendly locals and there is sure to be some kind of weirdness going on whenever I’m there. I’ve seen Jimmy Buffett perform on the street, I’ve seen drag queens galore, I’ve seen manatees up close and personal, but nothing…nothing prepared me for what I saw this past week at Fantasy Fest.
Let me give you a little background on Fantasy Fest in Key West. Fantasy Fest is their off-kilter version of something like Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Carnivale in Rio. It’s a chance for many, many people to come down and unwind in the warm sun and warmer nightlife of Key West and dance to their own tune, so to speak. Mind you, Key West is more than a little friendly to those with an alternative lifestyle, so you can imagine what happens when the city throws a party and asks everyone to REALLY let loose.
I’ve never been to Fantasy Fest before. I love Key West, but I prefer it during the down times when the streets aren’t clogged with tourists and there is no need for reservations at Louie’s Backyard. It’s just how I like/liked New Orleans. Great town, but I would never go during Mardi Gras. I like to actually be able to get into the bars and restaurants rather than shuffling along the sidewalks with all the other sweaty drunks. I had not planned on going to Fantasy Fest this year either, however, Mother Nature pointed her magic wand and made Fantasy Fest come to me.
You see, it was supposed to be the week before Halloween like it is scheduled every year. Costume parties, parades, Pimps & Ho’s parties, leather fetish nights, toga galas, the works. It happens every year culminating with the fat lady singing on the Sunday prior to Halloween. Hurricane Wilma begged to differ. While the hurricane hit the little island four days before the Fest was supposed to start, the city was a few feet underwater and there was no way it could support the influx of Fest-ers. When I read that city officials were planning on re-scheduling the OddFest, I knew that it would be during my trip down there. I mean I just KNEW it! I viewed this scheduling change with equal part dread and fascination. What we saw down there also turned out to be equal parts dread and fascination.
The official website for Fantasy Fest warns that nudity is illegal in the city of Key West and that all revelers were encouraged to remain clothed at all times. Apparently body paint is ok for the ladies as long as your privates remain private. The first night of Fantasy Fest, this seemed to be the case. As the days wore on, however, all bets were off. On Day 2 we saw a woman of 45 or so pedaling down the street on her bike wearing nothing but a smile. The cops didn’t seem to mind, and oh yeah…it was still 11:30 in the morning! Lady Godiva was getting the party started early.
I’ve never been to a nudist colony or beach before, but I had heard horror stories of flabby old men and women, most of whom you would prefer to see wearing quite a few layers of clothes. This describes the majority of those that chose to be naked during Fantasy Fest. Whoops…there goes grandma and grandpa, and…ouch…she’s actually wearing more than him. How does he keep that black sock on? Yeah…you read it. One black sock. That scene played itself over and over again during our time at Fantasy Fest.
Oh sure. There were some attractive folks who decided on going au natural, but they were few and far between. There was one woman we kept running into who was mostly nude and very attractive and she seemed content with just standing around while everyone under the moon posed for pictures with her. To that young lady I say well done. Most of them, however, liked going to the gym as much as they disliked wearing clothing. Don’t get me wrong. I had a pisser down there! These people had no hang-ups whatsoever and they all looked like they were having a wonderful time. I often wondered how they purchased drinks since none of them had any place to put money, but they all seemed to be appropriately liquored up so maybe folks were just giving up booze. I dunno.
So if you are ever thinking of attending Fantasy Fest, let me plant this little thought in your head. Go down to the local supermarket sometime during the day when all the retirees are out shopping for kitty litter and prune juice and picture all of them wandering the streets of Key West wearing g-strings and the aforementioned black sock. If you are able to keep your lunch down, then take a trip and keep your sense of humor because a sense of humor is all that you need to keep you going. Oh…and one black sock of course.
Nov 10, 2005
Anticip....p.p...p...ation
By B.E. Earl
11/10/2005 8:01 PM EST
Hey Kids! Earl here again with my most anticipated films of the upcoming Holiday Season. It’s been a while since I’ve been this excited about the late studio (both big and small) releases. Okay…it hasn’t been a while, thanks to Peter Jackson and his incredible “Lord of the Rings” trilogy that was an absolute gift for movie lovers for three straight years. However, the sheer weight of potentially great films that are just around the corner makes this season one that will most likely finally get the film industry out of the doldrums that they have been experiencing of late. Yeah…I’m not very happy with the “most likely finally” part of that last sentence either. Let’s move on, shall we?
Holiday season means “blockbuster” for very many movie fans, and this season doesn’t appear likely to disappoint. With guaranteed hits in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, King Kong, and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the big studios executives are already spending their Christmas bonuses. There is also a blockbuster novel or two that have been transformed to the silver screen such as Memoirs of a Geisha (with an all Asian cast) from Rob Marshall, and long-time Broadway successes like Rent and The Producers that are sure to succeed. Aside from these, the following list of films are those that I would most want to plunk down my $9.50 for:
· Get Rich or Die Tryin’ – I know, I know. A biopic of 50 Cent seems to be a bit out of my taste when it comes to movies, but this one is directed by Irish auteur Jim Sheriden (My Left Foot, In the Name of the Father). He looks to add some weight to this story of a street kid who sets asides his drug-dealing ways to become a rap star.
· Walk the Line – I’ve gotten a late start on my fascination with the Man in Black, but this looks to be an awesome portrayal of life and times of Johnny Cash as played by a spot-on Joaquin Phoenix. Both Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon (as June Carter Cash) do all their own singing, so this could even be a step-up in Oscar-worthy performances from Jamie Foxx in last year’s Ray.
· The Ice Harvest – Directed by Harold Ramis and including the talents of John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Randy Quaid (why is his face so big?) and Connie Nielsen, this looks to be the hit that we Cusack fans have been waiting some number of years for. Or maybe not.
· Aeon Flux – Just to see Charlize Theron jumping around barely dressed while shooting guns. Nice!
· Brokeback Mountain – Just kidding. I saw a seemingly endless trailer for this hunk ‘o junk the other day and I thought I was going to pass out in my popcorn. Gay cowboys? Well, Slyde might like it.
· The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada – Tommy Lee Jones’ directorial debut, this film is about a Texas rancher intent on avenging the murder of a Mexican friend. Jones also stars, and it just has that feel about it that could make it a big winner come Oscar time. It has already cleaned up at Cannes winning the writing award (for Guillermo Arriaga) and the acting prize for Jones. I can’t wait for this one.
· Hostel – A good old Horror yarn about three American tourists whose stay in an Eastern European hostel goes horribly wrong. Quentin Tarantino is the executive producer (no guarantee) and Eli Roth of Cabin Fever fame directs.
· The New World – This one has all the trappings of a massive box office bomb. Lavish costume period piece starring Colin Farrell and directed by genius director. It’s not Alexander by Oliver Stone, but it could be. Terence Malick, who looks to rebound from the poor critical and commercial success of The Thin Red Line, directs this tale of the violent colonization of the Americas. If he can make this even half as good as Badlands, then it will be well worth seeing.
There are a few others in the mix that look to be exciting, but those are the ones that I am most eager to see on the big screen. I was going to include Big Momma’s House 2, but since that doesn’t come out until late January I thought it might not be appropriate to include it with a Holiday Season round up. Maybe when we talk about 2006’s Oscar races. Maybe.
11/10/2005 8:01 PM EST
Hey Kids! Earl here again with my most anticipated films of the upcoming Holiday Season. It’s been a while since I’ve been this excited about the late studio (both big and small) releases. Okay…it hasn’t been a while, thanks to Peter Jackson and his incredible “Lord of the Rings” trilogy that was an absolute gift for movie lovers for three straight years. However, the sheer weight of potentially great films that are just around the corner makes this season one that will most likely finally get the film industry out of the doldrums that they have been experiencing of late. Yeah…I’m not very happy with the “most likely finally” part of that last sentence either. Let’s move on, shall we?
Holiday season means “blockbuster” for very many movie fans, and this season doesn’t appear likely to disappoint. With guaranteed hits in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, King Kong, and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the big studios executives are already spending their Christmas bonuses. There is also a blockbuster novel or two that have been transformed to the silver screen such as Memoirs of a Geisha (with an all Asian cast) from Rob Marshall, and long-time Broadway successes like Rent and The Producers that are sure to succeed. Aside from these, the following list of films are those that I would most want to plunk down my $9.50 for:
· Get Rich or Die Tryin’ – I know, I know. A biopic of 50 Cent seems to be a bit out of my taste when it comes to movies, but this one is directed by Irish auteur Jim Sheriden (My Left Foot, In the Name of the Father). He looks to add some weight to this story of a street kid who sets asides his drug-dealing ways to become a rap star.
· Walk the Line – I’ve gotten a late start on my fascination with the Man in Black, but this looks to be an awesome portrayal of life and times of Johnny Cash as played by a spot-on Joaquin Phoenix. Both Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon (as June Carter Cash) do all their own singing, so this could even be a step-up in Oscar-worthy performances from Jamie Foxx in last year’s Ray.
· The Ice Harvest – Directed by Harold Ramis and including the talents of John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Randy Quaid (why is his face so big?) and Connie Nielsen, this looks to be the hit that we Cusack fans have been waiting some number of years for. Or maybe not.
· Aeon Flux – Just to see Charlize Theron jumping around barely dressed while shooting guns. Nice!
· Brokeback Mountain – Just kidding. I saw a seemingly endless trailer for this hunk ‘o junk the other day and I thought I was going to pass out in my popcorn. Gay cowboys? Well, Slyde might like it.
· The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada – Tommy Lee Jones’ directorial debut, this film is about a Texas rancher intent on avenging the murder of a Mexican friend. Jones also stars, and it just has that feel about it that could make it a big winner come Oscar time. It has already cleaned up at Cannes winning the writing award (for Guillermo Arriaga) and the acting prize for Jones. I can’t wait for this one.
· Hostel – A good old Horror yarn about three American tourists whose stay in an Eastern European hostel goes horribly wrong. Quentin Tarantino is the executive producer (no guarantee) and Eli Roth of Cabin Fever fame directs.
· The New World – This one has all the trappings of a massive box office bomb. Lavish costume period piece starring Colin Farrell and directed by genius director. It’s not Alexander by Oliver Stone, but it could be. Terence Malick, who looks to rebound from the poor critical and commercial success of The Thin Red Line, directs this tale of the violent colonization of the Americas. If he can make this even half as good as Badlands, then it will be well worth seeing.
There are a few others in the mix that look to be exciting, but those are the ones that I am most eager to see on the big screen. I was going to include Big Momma’s House 2, but since that doesn’t come out until late January I thought it might not be appropriate to include it with a Holiday Season round up. Maybe when we talk about 2006’s Oscar races. Maybe.
Oct 25, 2005
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Halloween)
10/25/2005 10:36 PM EST
By B.E. Earl
Hey kids! Earl here again in response to Slyde’s claim that I “wouldn’t know a good horror move from a teletubbies marathon”. That’s right, I left in his misspelling of the word “movie” and his lack of an apostrophe at the end of “teletubbies”. Dick! Since Halloween is right around the corner, I thought I would share with you my Top 5 favorite Horror films, or at least the Top 5 that I could think of off of the top of my head. Whew! Quite a few “tops” in that last sentence, weren’t there?
My only criteria for including a film on this list is that said film had to have scared me. Not startled me or grossed me out, but out and out scared me. You see, I love Horror films, but very few actually achieve their goal with me. I dig werewolf films, but besides a few scenes in The Howling and Dog Soldiers (and one really scary scene in Bad Moon), they make me grin more than they frighten me. I like zombie movies, but I haven’t found any that have truly terrified me. Don’t get me wrong. Dead people walking around is scary stuff, but not something that has ever made me lose any sleep. Don’t even get me started on vampire movies. I’d have trouble naming even one that was truly scary. No, I prefer my scares to be a little more psychological and a little less visceral. So without further ado:
5. Halloween (1978) – I can’t have a Halloween-inspired Horror film list without the granddaddy of all slasher flicks. Some prefer Psycho or even Friday the 13th, but for my money it has never been done better than John Carpenter’s tale of Michael Myers and the night he came home. This is just an amazing film and it truly proves that less is more when it comes to a good scare. Halloween can be shown (and is shown) on network TV with the bare minimum of editing. No on-screen deaths, no graphic display of the victim’s bodies, and almost no profanity at all. Just a classic story of madman guided by some mysterious force to wreak havoc on an innocent town. The accompanying score, by John Carpenter himself, is so perfect that the mere sound of it is enough to frighten some people. Bonus shout-out to Mr. Carpenter for also making The Fog and The Thing, two Horror films that work almost as well as Halloween but fall short of making on my list.
4. The Shining (1980) – I used to be a big fan of Stephen King and I’ve always been one of Stanley Kubrick, so it should be no surprise that this film makes it onto my list. While the film version wound up being quite different from the novel, I feel that in many ways the film worked much better as a Horror story than the novel ever did. Stephen King always had a problem ending his novels (try figuring out why “The Stand” doesn’t end 100 pages earlier), and “The Shining” was no different. Instead of turning Jack Torrance into an actual monster (as King did in the novel), Kubrick’s version of Jack was much less over-the-top and much more sinister. The utter isolation that the movie portrays lends itself to the madness that eventually overcomes Jack, or IS IT madness that overcomes him? Is it a ghost story or is it a story of a man driven insane by a combination of solitude and his own demons? And just what the hell is going on in that room with the dude dressed like a dog? Scary and beautifully made, The Shining is a must-see for Horror fans of all ages.
3. Event Horizon (1997) – I just know that I am going to have a hard time explaining why I’ve included this film on my list. I didn’t like it when I first saw it, and I’m not so sure I even like it now when I think about it. But this film grew on me, and not in a good way. It is just creepy as all hell. From Sam Neill walking around with no eyes toward the end to those short (thankfully) peeks into the hell dimension that the ship came back from, this is one creepy film. It’s one of those movies that I will not watch if I see that it is going to be on, because its’ just too damn scary and I know I’ll be pissed at myself for getting creeped-out by a crappy film. Let us just move on.
2. The Omen (1976) – For all intensive purposes, I could have included Rosemary’s Baby or The Exorcist in this slot, but The Omen always frightened me a hell of a lot more than any of those other films. I think that one of the reasons is that the accompanying score by Jerry Goldsmith (much like Carpenter’s in Halloween) added so much to the terror factor in the film that it is difficult to separate one from the other. I especially love the ending shot of the movie when Damien looks over to the camera and gives the viewer in the audience a creepy little smile. Brrrrr! Chills people! Maybe it has something to do with evil kids, but this is a film that is delightfully scary. Damn, I gotta go out and get this one on DVD!
1. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (1973) – This is the grand poobah of all scary films in my humble opinion. Sure, it was a cheesy made-for-TV film starring Kim Darby that probably played on a Sunday night when it was first shown, but oh the memories! In case you are unfamiliar with this little gem, the action revolves around a couple who have inherited a mansion from some long-gone relative. A bricked up fireplace is opened and a whole host of little pointy-headed demon critters come flooding out. You see, these dudes are what became of Ms. Darby’s ancestors and they want her to join their little club. Sounds goofy, right? Yet this was a movie that I had to watch every single time it was on when I was younger and it would scare the livin’ bejesus out of me for weeks! I haven’t seen it in a while, but I was an adult the last time I saw it and it still did the trick for me. Little demon walking across the bathroom floor with a straight razor just as big as it is coming to get you in the shower = scary in my book. If you can find it, give it a try and see how it ranks on your fright-O-meter.
Well, that should do about wrap it up. Maybe Slyde will grace us with some of his favorite scary movies some time in the near future, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. Until next time, have a Happy Halloween! - Earl
By B.E. Earl
Hey kids! Earl here again in response to Slyde’s claim that I “wouldn’t know a good horror move from a teletubbies marathon”. That’s right, I left in his misspelling of the word “movie” and his lack of an apostrophe at the end of “teletubbies”. Dick! Since Halloween is right around the corner, I thought I would share with you my Top 5 favorite Horror films, or at least the Top 5 that I could think of off of the top of my head. Whew! Quite a few “tops” in that last sentence, weren’t there?
My only criteria for including a film on this list is that said film had to have scared me. Not startled me or grossed me out, but out and out scared me. You see, I love Horror films, but very few actually achieve their goal with me. I dig werewolf films, but besides a few scenes in The Howling and Dog Soldiers (and one really scary scene in Bad Moon), they make me grin more than they frighten me. I like zombie movies, but I haven’t found any that have truly terrified me. Don’t get me wrong. Dead people walking around is scary stuff, but not something that has ever made me lose any sleep. Don’t even get me started on vampire movies. I’d have trouble naming even one that was truly scary. No, I prefer my scares to be a little more psychological and a little less visceral. So without further ado:
5. Halloween (1978) – I can’t have a Halloween-inspired Horror film list without the granddaddy of all slasher flicks. Some prefer Psycho or even Friday the 13th, but for my money it has never been done better than John Carpenter’s tale of Michael Myers and the night he came home. This is just an amazing film and it truly proves that less is more when it comes to a good scare. Halloween can be shown (and is shown) on network TV with the bare minimum of editing. No on-screen deaths, no graphic display of the victim’s bodies, and almost no profanity at all. Just a classic story of madman guided by some mysterious force to wreak havoc on an innocent town. The accompanying score, by John Carpenter himself, is so perfect that the mere sound of it is enough to frighten some people. Bonus shout-out to Mr. Carpenter for also making The Fog and The Thing, two Horror films that work almost as well as Halloween but fall short of making on my list.
4. The Shining (1980) – I used to be a big fan of Stephen King and I’ve always been one of Stanley Kubrick, so it should be no surprise that this film makes it onto my list. While the film version wound up being quite different from the novel, I feel that in many ways the film worked much better as a Horror story than the novel ever did. Stephen King always had a problem ending his novels (try figuring out why “The Stand” doesn’t end 100 pages earlier), and “The Shining” was no different. Instead of turning Jack Torrance into an actual monster (as King did in the novel), Kubrick’s version of Jack was much less over-the-top and much more sinister. The utter isolation that the movie portrays lends itself to the madness that eventually overcomes Jack, or IS IT madness that overcomes him? Is it a ghost story or is it a story of a man driven insane by a combination of solitude and his own demons? And just what the hell is going on in that room with the dude dressed like a dog? Scary and beautifully made, The Shining is a must-see for Horror fans of all ages.
3. Event Horizon (1997) – I just know that I am going to have a hard time explaining why I’ve included this film on my list. I didn’t like it when I first saw it, and I’m not so sure I even like it now when I think about it. But this film grew on me, and not in a good way. It is just creepy as all hell. From Sam Neill walking around with no eyes toward the end to those short (thankfully) peeks into the hell dimension that the ship came back from, this is one creepy film. It’s one of those movies that I will not watch if I see that it is going to be on, because its’ just too damn scary and I know I’ll be pissed at myself for getting creeped-out by a crappy film. Let us just move on.
2. The Omen (1976) – For all intensive purposes, I could have included Rosemary’s Baby or The Exorcist in this slot, but The Omen always frightened me a hell of a lot more than any of those other films. I think that one of the reasons is that the accompanying score by Jerry Goldsmith (much like Carpenter’s in Halloween) added so much to the terror factor in the film that it is difficult to separate one from the other. I especially love the ending shot of the movie when Damien looks over to the camera and gives the viewer in the audience a creepy little smile. Brrrrr! Chills people! Maybe it has something to do with evil kids, but this is a film that is delightfully scary. Damn, I gotta go out and get this one on DVD!
1. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (1973) – This is the grand poobah of all scary films in my humble opinion. Sure, it was a cheesy made-for-TV film starring Kim Darby that probably played on a Sunday night when it was first shown, but oh the memories! In case you are unfamiliar with this little gem, the action revolves around a couple who have inherited a mansion from some long-gone relative. A bricked up fireplace is opened and a whole host of little pointy-headed demon critters come flooding out. You see, these dudes are what became of Ms. Darby’s ancestors and they want her to join their little club. Sounds goofy, right? Yet this was a movie that I had to watch every single time it was on when I was younger and it would scare the livin’ bejesus out of me for weeks! I haven’t seen it in a while, but I was an adult the last time I saw it and it still did the trick for me. Little demon walking across the bathroom floor with a straight razor just as big as it is coming to get you in the shower = scary in my book. If you can find it, give it a try and see how it ranks on your fright-O-meter.
Well, that should do about wrap it up. Maybe Slyde will grace us with some of his favorite scary movies some time in the near future, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. Until next time, have a Happy Halloween! - Earl
Oct 6, 2005
"SERENITY" NOW!!!
By B.E. Earl
10/06/2005 6:27 PM EST
At the rate I have been posting lately, as opposed to Earl, we should probably change this site's name to Earlsblog.com. Anyhow, Earl has graced us with another review, this time for the new movie Serenity. Anyhow, take it away Earl.... - Slyde
Hey kids! It’s Earl again as Slyde is apparently way too lazy/busy to contribute to his own site. I’d like to share with you some of my thoughts about the new film Serenity which opened up last weekend to so-so business here in the ‘ole U.S. of A. Serenity is a sequel, of sorts, of the late, great Fox television series “Firefly” created by Joss Whedon. Now one thing you have to know is that I am a late convert to the cult of Whedon, but a cultist nonetheless so I may not be the most objective kid in the sandbox. I’m actually not going to give you my review of the film (which I thought was fantastic), so hopefully my objectivity, or lack thereof, won’t come into play. No sir, my intent is to give you some background info on the television show so that you might be better prepared when you go see the film. AND YOU WILL GO SEE THE FILM! Sorry, got taken over by Satan there for a moment. I’ll try not to let it happen again.
The Setting
“Firefly” is set roughly 500 years in the future. The human race has moved on from the “Earth that was” or the planet that we currently call home. You see, our numbers had swelled so vastly that we needed to colonize other worlds and solar systems. The last remaining great economic powers of old Earth were the United States and China. Just about everyone speaks both English and Chinese, although it seems that they only slip into Chinese when yelling at each other or cursing (maybe to slip past the old FOX censors, eh?). The main governing body of the galaxy is the Alliance.
The Alliance runs the central planets in the system with a closed fist, but the outlying planets govern themselves mostly in a fairly straightforward metaphor for the United States during the time of the Old West. In fact, “Firefly” is as much of a Western as it is a piece of Science Fiction. The territories are hard places to live, but they do have a sense of independence from the Alliance. The Alliance doesn’t appear to be the obvious evil that the Empire was in Star Wars, however, there is something dodgy about it. So dodgy that a group of planets fought a war against the Alliance in order to guarantee their own independence. It didn’t work as the Alliance won, and the freedom fighters suffered enormous casualties.
The Ship
Serenity is not only the name of the film, it is also the name of the Firefly-class spaceship that many of the characters of the show and film call home. It’s a fairly cool-looking hunk o’ junk that is used mostly as a cargo ship by the crew, although it is that cargo that often gets them into trouble. You see, the crew of the Serenity works a bit outside of the law. They’ll handle smuggling jobs, illicit transport, and even outright robbery to make a living. We’ll talk about that in a bit. The boat (as they refer to Serenity) is also named after a famous battle in the previously mentioned war. It was the battle that finally broke the backs of the freedom fighters leading to an overwhelming victory by the Alliance.
The Crew
Captain Mal Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) – Mal is a former soldier with the losing side of the war with the Alliance. He, in fact, was one of the survivors of the battle of Serenity Valley along with his second-in-command, Zoe. Mal has got a lot of issues. He’s obviously not happy with the Alliance and he is constantly being tormented by his inner demons. His choice to turn to a life of smuggling is just another way of thumbing his nose at the oppressive Alliance. However, he appears to be a good man with a heard of gold, ding! He’s also quite in love with Inara, a prostitute who lives on one of the shuttles of the Serenity. Secretly, of course.
Zoe (Gina Torres) – Zoe, as previously mentioned, is a former soldier who followed Mal into a life of smuggling. She is the consummate warrior woman, clearly not someone whom you would want to mess with. She is unwaveringly loyal to Mal and she wears her leather outfit quite nicely, thank you.
Hoban “Wash” Washburn (Alan Tudyk) – Wash is the pilot of the Serenity, and the husband of Zoe. He’s mainly there for comic relief. We don’t know much about his past, but it doesn’t appear to matter that much. He wears Hawaiian shirts and has plastic dinosaurs about his console, and that is about as much as we need to know.
Kaylee Frye (Jewel Staite) – Kaylee is the resident mechanic on board the ship. She’s a bit of a spitfire whose mechanical skills appear to be more intuitive than learned through any formal education. She is the wide-eyed innocent of the crew, even while possessing a more-than healthy sexual appetite. Kaylee is fun.
Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin) – Jayne is the muscle on the crew. Although he doesn’t really have a title, he was jokingly referred to as the public relations officer. He’s simple and downright mean, but you want to have him on your side in a firefight. He also has, on more than one occasion, shown an inclination towards turning on his fellow crewmembers, and he can be bribed to switch sides if the money is right.
Inara Serra (Morena Baccarin) – Inara is a prostitute who rents out one of the two shuttles on board Serenity in a mutually beneficial agreement between Mal and her. You see, prostitutes are a bit different in this world then they are in ours. Companions, as they prefer to be called, are treated with incredible respect by the civilized worlds. They go through a tremendous amount of training to become a companion, and they are incredibly bright and knowledgeable in many areas. Having a resident companion on board is beneficial to crew for her contacts and the doors that those contacts can open. She also lends an air of respectability to the otherwise rag-tag group of travelers. She is also quite in love with Mal, secretly of course.
Shepherd Book (Ron Glass) – Damn it was nice to see Ron Glass working regularly again. The well-named Book is hard to read by his cover. He is a man of religion, but he has admitted that Book is not even his real name. His mysterious past has something to do with either a military, political or consular post within the Alliance. He is Mal’s conscience on the ship.
Dr. Simon Tam (Sean Mahar) – Simon and his sister, River, are fugitives from the Alliance. Simon came aboard Serenity with his sister as his cargo. He was eventually found out by Mal the rest of the crew, although Mal agreed to keep him and his sister on board as crew. Simon is a brilliant doctor who gave up a great career to save the life of his sister. He’s also kind of boring.
River Tam (Summer Glau) – River is a gifted teenager who was taken by the Alliance at a young age and manipulated into a tool that they could use for a number of reasons. She has some psychic abilities and she is quite the talented fighter. She is also an absolute mental mess. In whatever procedures the Alliance used to enhance her abilities, they also managed to strip out some of her brains ability to operate in a so-called normal manner. She is highly sought after by the Alliance because of her abilities and the secrets that she may have stumbled onto. Secrets that could hurt the Alliance at its very core.
Okay. Now you are ready to go out and see Serenity. It has been rumored that if this film grosses more than $80 million worldwide, there will be a sequel or two. Joss Whedon had apparently scripted out 5 seasons of “Firefly” and he still has stories to tell. So go see it. You don’t want me to use my Satan voice again, do you?
10/06/2005 6:27 PM EST
At the rate I have been posting lately, as opposed to Earl, we should probably change this site's name to Earlsblog.com. Anyhow, Earl has graced us with another review, this time for the new movie Serenity. Anyhow, take it away Earl.... - Slyde
Hey kids! It’s Earl again as Slyde is apparently way too lazy/busy to contribute to his own site. I’d like to share with you some of my thoughts about the new film Serenity which opened up last weekend to so-so business here in the ‘ole U.S. of A. Serenity is a sequel, of sorts, of the late, great Fox television series “Firefly” created by Joss Whedon. Now one thing you have to know is that I am a late convert to the cult of Whedon, but a cultist nonetheless so I may not be the most objective kid in the sandbox. I’m actually not going to give you my review of the film (which I thought was fantastic), so hopefully my objectivity, or lack thereof, won’t come into play. No sir, my intent is to give you some background info on the television show so that you might be better prepared when you go see the film. AND YOU WILL GO SEE THE FILM! Sorry, got taken over by Satan there for a moment. I’ll try not to let it happen again.
The Setting
“Firefly” is set roughly 500 years in the future. The human race has moved on from the “Earth that was” or the planet that we currently call home. You see, our numbers had swelled so vastly that we needed to colonize other worlds and solar systems. The last remaining great economic powers of old Earth were the United States and China. Just about everyone speaks both English and Chinese, although it seems that they only slip into Chinese when yelling at each other or cursing (maybe to slip past the old FOX censors, eh?). The main governing body of the galaxy is the Alliance.
The Alliance runs the central planets in the system with a closed fist, but the outlying planets govern themselves mostly in a fairly straightforward metaphor for the United States during the time of the Old West. In fact, “Firefly” is as much of a Western as it is a piece of Science Fiction. The territories are hard places to live, but they do have a sense of independence from the Alliance. The Alliance doesn’t appear to be the obvious evil that the Empire was in Star Wars, however, there is something dodgy about it. So dodgy that a group of planets fought a war against the Alliance in order to guarantee their own independence. It didn’t work as the Alliance won, and the freedom fighters suffered enormous casualties.
The Ship
Serenity is not only the name of the film, it is also the name of the Firefly-class spaceship that many of the characters of the show and film call home. It’s a fairly cool-looking hunk o’ junk that is used mostly as a cargo ship by the crew, although it is that cargo that often gets them into trouble. You see, the crew of the Serenity works a bit outside of the law. They’ll handle smuggling jobs, illicit transport, and even outright robbery to make a living. We’ll talk about that in a bit. The boat (as they refer to Serenity) is also named after a famous battle in the previously mentioned war. It was the battle that finally broke the backs of the freedom fighters leading to an overwhelming victory by the Alliance.
The Crew
Captain Mal Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) – Mal is a former soldier with the losing side of the war with the Alliance. He, in fact, was one of the survivors of the battle of Serenity Valley along with his second-in-command, Zoe. Mal has got a lot of issues. He’s obviously not happy with the Alliance and he is constantly being tormented by his inner demons. His choice to turn to a life of smuggling is just another way of thumbing his nose at the oppressive Alliance. However, he appears to be a good man with a heard of gold, ding! He’s also quite in love with Inara, a prostitute who lives on one of the shuttles of the Serenity. Secretly, of course.
Zoe (Gina Torres) – Zoe, as previously mentioned, is a former soldier who followed Mal into a life of smuggling. She is the consummate warrior woman, clearly not someone whom you would want to mess with. She is unwaveringly loyal to Mal and she wears her leather outfit quite nicely, thank you.
Hoban “Wash” Washburn (Alan Tudyk) – Wash is the pilot of the Serenity, and the husband of Zoe. He’s mainly there for comic relief. We don’t know much about his past, but it doesn’t appear to matter that much. He wears Hawaiian shirts and has plastic dinosaurs about his console, and that is about as much as we need to know.
Kaylee Frye (Jewel Staite) – Kaylee is the resident mechanic on board the ship. She’s a bit of a spitfire whose mechanical skills appear to be more intuitive than learned through any formal education. She is the wide-eyed innocent of the crew, even while possessing a more-than healthy sexual appetite. Kaylee is fun.
Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin) – Jayne is the muscle on the crew. Although he doesn’t really have a title, he was jokingly referred to as the public relations officer. He’s simple and downright mean, but you want to have him on your side in a firefight. He also has, on more than one occasion, shown an inclination towards turning on his fellow crewmembers, and he can be bribed to switch sides if the money is right.
Inara Serra (Morena Baccarin) – Inara is a prostitute who rents out one of the two shuttles on board Serenity in a mutually beneficial agreement between Mal and her. You see, prostitutes are a bit different in this world then they are in ours. Companions, as they prefer to be called, are treated with incredible respect by the civilized worlds. They go through a tremendous amount of training to become a companion, and they are incredibly bright and knowledgeable in many areas. Having a resident companion on board is beneficial to crew for her contacts and the doors that those contacts can open. She also lends an air of respectability to the otherwise rag-tag group of travelers. She is also quite in love with Mal, secretly of course.
Shepherd Book (Ron Glass) – Damn it was nice to see Ron Glass working regularly again. The well-named Book is hard to read by his cover. He is a man of religion, but he has admitted that Book is not even his real name. His mysterious past has something to do with either a military, political or consular post within the Alliance. He is Mal’s conscience on the ship.
Dr. Simon Tam (Sean Mahar) – Simon and his sister, River, are fugitives from the Alliance. Simon came aboard Serenity with his sister as his cargo. He was eventually found out by Mal the rest of the crew, although Mal agreed to keep him and his sister on board as crew. Simon is a brilliant doctor who gave up a great career to save the life of his sister. He’s also kind of boring.
River Tam (Summer Glau) – River is a gifted teenager who was taken by the Alliance at a young age and manipulated into a tool that they could use for a number of reasons. She has some psychic abilities and she is quite the talented fighter. She is also an absolute mental mess. In whatever procedures the Alliance used to enhance her abilities, they also managed to strip out some of her brains ability to operate in a so-called normal manner. She is highly sought after by the Alliance because of her abilities and the secrets that she may have stumbled onto. Secrets that could hurt the Alliance at its very core.
Okay. Now you are ready to go out and see Serenity. It has been rumored that if this film grosses more than $80 million worldwide, there will be a sequel or two. Joss Whedon had apparently scripted out 5 seasons of “Firefly” and he still has stories to tell. So go see it. You don’t want me to use my Satan voice again, do you?
Oct 2, 2005
Oh, the HORROR of it all!
by B.E. Earl
10/02/2005 11:50 PM EST
As I said in the last post, here is another great article written by B.E. Earl. Since he gave it to me over a month ago, some of the "Upcoming" movie references may now be a tad outdated. Please blame my excessive laziness for this fact, and not the fact that B.E. wouldn't know a good horror movie if it came up and bit him on the ass (which it just might, one day...those things are ORNERY) - Slyde.
Hi, folks! Earl here. I recently saw a commercial for a new horror film that will be coming out to a theater near you shortly. It’s called The Cave, and I was interested enough to check out some of the details on IMDB.com yesterday. Not “interested” in actually going to see the film, but more like “interested” in how derivative it appears to be. The trailer showed a group of divers (or some kind of adventure seekers) getting trapped in a network of underwater caves. Then some kind of Big Bad begins to pick them off, and it appears as if it either infects some of the team members or takes over their bodies in some “body snatcher/the killer is amongst us” kind of way. I don’t know the exact details, and maybe I never will. But three films jumped to mind as soon as I saw this commercial. John Carpenter’s version of The Thing (victims assimilated by beastie in remote location), Pitch Black (maybe because Cole Hauser is in both), and Alien (replace deep space with deep caves…now THAT is clever).
When I checked the feedback on IMDB.com, I saw that many of the posters were comparing it to a British film by Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers) called The Descent. Apparently they have some very similar plot lines, although The Descent has yet to be released theatrically in the US. This got me thinking about the sad state of the Horror genre in American film over the last few years. Here goes:
To get a good feel for the assortment of Horror films that have been produced in the last few years, I once again consulted the oracle of all things, er, movie-ish in IMDB.com. They have a great search engine within their own site called a Power Search. So, I looked for the top 100 Horror films (as voted by IMDB users with at least 1000 votes) that were produced from 2000 to 2005. I then culled the herd by dropping anything with less than a 6.9 out of 10 rating which left me with a not so round 26 films. They are as follows (with foreign titles translated into English):
Film Rating Country
1. Battle Royale 7.9 Japan
2. Shaun of the Dead 7.9 UK
3. The Others 7.8 France/Spain/US
4. Vampire Hunter D 7.7 Japan/Hong Kong
5. Butterfly Effect, The 7.7 US
6. Descent, The 7.7 UK
7. Bubba Ho-Tep 7.6 US
8. Tale of Two Sister, A 7.6 South Korea
9. Saw 7.5 US/Australia
10. Frailty 7.4 US/Italy/Germany
11. Dawn of the Dead 7.4 US
12. Devil’s Backbone, The 7.4 Mexico
13. Ring, The 7.4 US
14. Happiness of the Katakuris, The 7.3 Japan
15. Identity 7.3 US
16. 28 Days Later… 7.3 UK
17. Irreversible 7.2 France
18. Visitor Q 7.1 Japan
19. Brotherhood of the Wolf 7.1 France
20. Devil’s Rejects, The 7.1 US
21. Ichii the Killer 7.1 Japan
22. Dark Water 7.1 Japan
23. Eye, The 7.0 Japan
24. Land of the Dead 7.0 US
25. Ginger Snaps 6.9 Canada
26. American Psycho 6.9 US
As you can see there is a decidedly international flavor to the list with the US only accounting for 11 of the 26 films. It’s no surprise that Japan is second on the list with 7 entries, followed by the UK with 3 films. Now, before I start to critique these films let me say that I have seen less than half of the titles listed. But that isn’t going to stop me from “Eberting” them anyway.
Let’s start with the American Films. Right away I can whittle this group down by excluding comedies (Bubba Ho-Tep), remakes (Dawn of the Dead and The Ring), sequels/rip-offs (Land of the Dead and The Devil’s Rejects) and any movie that stars Ashton Kutcher (The Butterfly Effect). This leaves us with a tidy five US-made Horror films in the last few years that meet our haughty criteria.
The Others by Alejandro Amenabar is a wonderfully creepy film with an engaging cast. Part of it was even filmed here in Huntington at Oheka Castle. But considering the director’s origins (Chile) and the fact that the cast is mostly British or Australian, this film really takes on an international tone. The US is also listed third in the credits for country of origin behind France and Spain. So this is a tough one to include as being truly “American”, for me at least.
Saw by James Wan is also a film that includes some international ties. Mr. Wan grew up as an Asian in Australia, and this is his first film working in the US. That aside, it was a very creepy serial killer film that kept audiences guessing until the very end. I’m still not 100% sure what the hell happened, but I know that I liked it. It is sure to be ruined by numerous sequels, but this film stands out as something highly original.
Frailty by Bill Paxton (I didn’t realize he directed it) is an unusual film for me to judge. I liked all the performances in the picture, and the novelty of the plot wasn’t lost on me. It very nearly works as a perfect study of mental illness and its’ effect on the family. However, I find it hard to include as a Horror film, per se. The fact that I wasn’t frightened or horrified in any way might be the problem I had with it. I don’t know. It just didn’t “get” me the way a good Horror film should.
Identity by James Mangold is another film that I was surprised to see on the list. I did enjoy seeing it (big fan of John Cusack), and it’s “Ten Little Indians” plot was fun to watch unfold, but as with Frailty I feel that it didn’t encompass some of the elements that define a good Horror movie for me. It was if I was watching the movie just to see what the “big twist” was going to be.
American Psycho by Mary Harron (based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel) was just a crazy, crazy movie with everyone’s favorite Batman, Christian Bale, giving us an over-the-top horrific performance as the title character. The very real moments of pure horror are offset by some very funny insights into the yuppie lifestyle of the 1980’s. The narrow edge of what is real and what evils lie solely within Bale’s character’s mind is what makes this movie so much fun to watch. Well, that and Willem Dafoe. Man, that guy is just creepy to look at!
Did you notice a common thread between these five films? I mentioned it while talking about Identity. All five of these films include a “big twist” ending. It’s as if American Horror in film have become almost solely derivative of 1999’s The Sixth Sense in the past few years. Yeah, I know…the “big twist” in American Horror has been around since Alfred Hitchcock and Psycho (and probably way before that), but it seems to be steadily building momentum. There is nothing wrong with it, but it bothers me that I thought that a great film like The Others was slightly tainted because I left the theater thinking that it was really good, but The Sixth Sense did it a little better.
Now the non-US films on the above lists really include some original and grand examples of Horror, and Japan is definitely leading the way. Most of the top grossing Horror films made in the US nowadays (The Ring, The Grudge, Dark Water) are remakes of original Japanese Horror films. It’s like the obsession Hollywood had with remaking French Comedies a few years back. The old “let’s take something of theirs and make it ours” kind of philosophy. In most cases, the original far outshines the remake, but American audiences seem to really have a problem watching foreign language films with subtitles. Sad.
Battle Royale (so I’ve heard) is just a brutish “Lord of the Flies” tale of a group of school children forced onto an island with the intent of murdering one another until there is a sole survivor. It is so brutal that it is not available through mainstream avenues in the US, nor is it likely to be remade here in this country due to its themes of violence and children. Visitor Q, Ichii the Killer, The Eye and Dark Water are all highly praised as truly original entries in the Horror genre. Vampire Hunter D is an animated film, but one that is supposedly one of the best examples of Horror/Anime around. From what I’ve read of The Happiness of the Katakuris, it may not belong on the list as its’ tale of a family taking over a remote hotel is told in a Musical/Comedy setting.
There are some other great original films on the list made in the UK, France, Mexico and even Canada. I’ve already mentioned The Descent, but Danny Boyle made zombies cool again in 28 Days Later…, and Edgar Wright made them funny in Shaun of the Dead. Brotherhood of the Wolf is one of my favorite movies (in any of the genres it fits) made in recent years. Its’ visual style and martial arts action fit well with its’ historical accuracy. If you haven’t seen this film, do yourself a favor and check it out. The Devil’s Backbone is Guillermo del Toro’s (Hellboy) breakout hit from a few years back, and this guy has a film style that looks good even in crappy movies like Blade II. Another personal favorite on the list is Ginger Snaps out of Canada. I really liked the idea of a werewolf movie as a metaphor for puberty and all the wonderful things that come with it. It may not have been as downright scary as Dog Soldiers, but I enjoyed it just as much if not more.
Well, I managed to trash American Horror a bit more than I praised International Horror, but you can see where I wanted to go with this. The focus here in the US seems to be more on generating box office gold by more derivative means, while the creative side of Horror is left to filmmakers abroad. Hey, I appreciate a good film no matter what country it was created in, but let’s hope that this trend slows down in the near future. Horror films have been a staple in the diet of American filmgoers for a long time now, and we are getting a bit tired of the stale servings of late.
10/02/2005 11:50 PM EST
As I said in the last post, here is another great article written by B.E. Earl. Since he gave it to me over a month ago, some of the "Upcoming" movie references may now be a tad outdated. Please blame my excessive laziness for this fact, and not the fact that B.E. wouldn't know a good horror movie if it came up and bit him on the ass (which it just might, one day...those things are ORNERY) - Slyde.
Hi, folks! Earl here. I recently saw a commercial for a new horror film that will be coming out to a theater near you shortly. It’s called The Cave, and I was interested enough to check out some of the details on IMDB.com yesterday. Not “interested” in actually going to see the film, but more like “interested” in how derivative it appears to be. The trailer showed a group of divers (or some kind of adventure seekers) getting trapped in a network of underwater caves. Then some kind of Big Bad begins to pick them off, and it appears as if it either infects some of the team members or takes over their bodies in some “body snatcher/the killer is amongst us” kind of way. I don’t know the exact details, and maybe I never will. But three films jumped to mind as soon as I saw this commercial. John Carpenter’s version of The Thing (victims assimilated by beastie in remote location), Pitch Black (maybe because Cole Hauser is in both), and Alien (replace deep space with deep caves…now THAT is clever).
When I checked the feedback on IMDB.com, I saw that many of the posters were comparing it to a British film by Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers) called The Descent. Apparently they have some very similar plot lines, although The Descent has yet to be released theatrically in the US. This got me thinking about the sad state of the Horror genre in American film over the last few years. Here goes:
To get a good feel for the assortment of Horror films that have been produced in the last few years, I once again consulted the oracle of all things, er, movie-ish in IMDB.com. They have a great search engine within their own site called a Power Search. So, I looked for the top 100 Horror films (as voted by IMDB users with at least 1000 votes) that were produced from 2000 to 2005. I then culled the herd by dropping anything with less than a 6.9 out of 10 rating which left me with a not so round 26 films. They are as follows (with foreign titles translated into English):
Film Rating Country
1. Battle Royale 7.9 Japan
2. Shaun of the Dead 7.9 UK
3. The Others 7.8 France/Spain/US
4. Vampire Hunter D 7.7 Japan/Hong Kong
5. Butterfly Effect, The 7.7 US
6. Descent, The 7.7 UK
7. Bubba Ho-Tep 7.6 US
8. Tale of Two Sister, A 7.6 South Korea
9. Saw 7.5 US/Australia
10. Frailty 7.4 US/Italy/Germany
11. Dawn of the Dead 7.4 US
12. Devil’s Backbone, The 7.4 Mexico
13. Ring, The 7.4 US
14. Happiness of the Katakuris, The 7.3 Japan
15. Identity 7.3 US
16. 28 Days Later… 7.3 UK
17. Irreversible 7.2 France
18. Visitor Q 7.1 Japan
19. Brotherhood of the Wolf 7.1 France
20. Devil’s Rejects, The 7.1 US
21. Ichii the Killer 7.1 Japan
22. Dark Water 7.1 Japan
23. Eye, The 7.0 Japan
24. Land of the Dead 7.0 US
25. Ginger Snaps 6.9 Canada
26. American Psycho 6.9 US
As you can see there is a decidedly international flavor to the list with the US only accounting for 11 of the 26 films. It’s no surprise that Japan is second on the list with 7 entries, followed by the UK with 3 films. Now, before I start to critique these films let me say that I have seen less than half of the titles listed. But that isn’t going to stop me from “Eberting” them anyway.
Let’s start with the American Films. Right away I can whittle this group down by excluding comedies (Bubba Ho-Tep), remakes (Dawn of the Dead and The Ring), sequels/rip-offs (Land of the Dead and The Devil’s Rejects) and any movie that stars Ashton Kutcher (The Butterfly Effect). This leaves us with a tidy five US-made Horror films in the last few years that meet our haughty criteria.
The Others by Alejandro Amenabar is a wonderfully creepy film with an engaging cast. Part of it was even filmed here in Huntington at Oheka Castle. But considering the director’s origins (Chile) and the fact that the cast is mostly British or Australian, this film really takes on an international tone. The US is also listed third in the credits for country of origin behind France and Spain. So this is a tough one to include as being truly “American”, for me at least.
Saw by James Wan is also a film that includes some international ties. Mr. Wan grew up as an Asian in Australia, and this is his first film working in the US. That aside, it was a very creepy serial killer film that kept audiences guessing until the very end. I’m still not 100% sure what the hell happened, but I know that I liked it. It is sure to be ruined by numerous sequels, but this film stands out as something highly original.
Frailty by Bill Paxton (I didn’t realize he directed it) is an unusual film for me to judge. I liked all the performances in the picture, and the novelty of the plot wasn’t lost on me. It very nearly works as a perfect study of mental illness and its’ effect on the family. However, I find it hard to include as a Horror film, per se. The fact that I wasn’t frightened or horrified in any way might be the problem I had with it. I don’t know. It just didn’t “get” me the way a good Horror film should.
Identity by James Mangold is another film that I was surprised to see on the list. I did enjoy seeing it (big fan of John Cusack), and it’s “Ten Little Indians” plot was fun to watch unfold, but as with Frailty I feel that it didn’t encompass some of the elements that define a good Horror movie for me. It was if I was watching the movie just to see what the “big twist” was going to be.
American Psycho by Mary Harron (based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel) was just a crazy, crazy movie with everyone’s favorite Batman, Christian Bale, giving us an over-the-top horrific performance as the title character. The very real moments of pure horror are offset by some very funny insights into the yuppie lifestyle of the 1980’s. The narrow edge of what is real and what evils lie solely within Bale’s character’s mind is what makes this movie so much fun to watch. Well, that and Willem Dafoe. Man, that guy is just creepy to look at!
Did you notice a common thread between these five films? I mentioned it while talking about Identity. All five of these films include a “big twist” ending. It’s as if American Horror in film have become almost solely derivative of 1999’s The Sixth Sense in the past few years. Yeah, I know…the “big twist” in American Horror has been around since Alfred Hitchcock and Psycho (and probably way before that), but it seems to be steadily building momentum. There is nothing wrong with it, but it bothers me that I thought that a great film like The Others was slightly tainted because I left the theater thinking that it was really good, but The Sixth Sense did it a little better.
Now the non-US films on the above lists really include some original and grand examples of Horror, and Japan is definitely leading the way. Most of the top grossing Horror films made in the US nowadays (The Ring, The Grudge, Dark Water) are remakes of original Japanese Horror films. It’s like the obsession Hollywood had with remaking French Comedies a few years back. The old “let’s take something of theirs and make it ours” kind of philosophy. In most cases, the original far outshines the remake, but American audiences seem to really have a problem watching foreign language films with subtitles. Sad.
Battle Royale (so I’ve heard) is just a brutish “Lord of the Flies” tale of a group of school children forced onto an island with the intent of murdering one another until there is a sole survivor. It is so brutal that it is not available through mainstream avenues in the US, nor is it likely to be remade here in this country due to its themes of violence and children. Visitor Q, Ichii the Killer, The Eye and Dark Water are all highly praised as truly original entries in the Horror genre. Vampire Hunter D is an animated film, but one that is supposedly one of the best examples of Horror/Anime around. From what I’ve read of The Happiness of the Katakuris, it may not belong on the list as its’ tale of a family taking over a remote hotel is told in a Musical/Comedy setting.
There are some other great original films on the list made in the UK, France, Mexico and even Canada. I’ve already mentioned The Descent, but Danny Boyle made zombies cool again in 28 Days Later…, and Edgar Wright made them funny in Shaun of the Dead. Brotherhood of the Wolf is one of my favorite movies (in any of the genres it fits) made in recent years. Its’ visual style and martial arts action fit well with its’ historical accuracy. If you haven’t seen this film, do yourself a favor and check it out. The Devil’s Backbone is Guillermo del Toro’s (Hellboy) breakout hit from a few years back, and this guy has a film style that looks good even in crappy movies like Blade II. Another personal favorite on the list is Ginger Snaps out of Canada. I really liked the idea of a werewolf movie as a metaphor for puberty and all the wonderful things that come with it. It may not have been as downright scary as Dog Soldiers, but I enjoyed it just as much if not more.
Well, I managed to trash American Horror a bit more than I praised International Horror, but you can see where I wanted to go with this. The focus here in the US seems to be more on generating box office gold by more derivative means, while the creative side of Horror is left to filmmakers abroad. Hey, I appreciate a good film no matter what country it was created in, but let’s hope that this trend slows down in the near future. Horror films have been a staple in the diet of American filmgoers for a long time now, and we are getting a bit tired of the stale servings of late.
Aug 9, 2005
When Harry Met Ginny
08/09/2005 9:14 PM EST
Guest Review by B.E. Earl
Hey kids! Earl here again. I completed a blistering read of the new Harry Potter entry a few weeks ago, and I thought that I would share with you, my brothers and only friends, some thoughts on the whole series and its place in fantasy fiction.
I know that I’m not exactly the demographic that is reading Harry Potter these days. I’m not a teenage girl, nor have I ever been. I started reading the Potter books last year after I went to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with my nephew. I had previously seen the first two films and honestly didn’t think much of them. I was interested in Azkaban because of it was directed by Alfonso Cuaron (Y tu mama tambien), and I wanted to see what he would do with it. I was more than pleasantly surprised with the results, and I was interested enough to ask my older sister, who has been reading the books, whether or not they were worth my while. She told me that they were quick reads, but pretty entertaining once you got into them.
Well, I read the first five books of the series in the next few weeks and I was surprised (once again) to find them really enjoyable. I mean, it wasn’t Tolkein by any stretch of the imagination, but J.K. Rowling had really created a fun-to-read, escapist bit ‘o fantasy and I could see why it appeals to younger readers so much. The basic premise for the books is not exactly groundbreaking. A thoroughly underwhelming young boy is thrown into a situation involving good, evil and all sorts of magical things only to find out that his destiny is tied to the Big Bad in some way forcing him accept responsibilities that could ultimately lead to his own death or the destruction of everything that he has come to love in that world. Phew! Run-on sentences really wear me out. You can replace the “young boy” with “young hobbit” or “leper” and Harry becomes Frodo or Thomas Covenant, but the premise is still the same. I’m not sure when the main protagonist in fantasy genre switched from the great heroes of old myths to the current run of underdogs, but it has been around for a while. Gives the readers at home something to identify with, I guess.
Getting back to the Potter books, I found that after reading them I came to appreciate the films a whole lot more. Especially the first two films. I still like Azkaban the best, but Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is pretty darned close. So I was pretty eager to read the sixth entry into the series, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.” My sister picked it up the first weekend it was available and, true to form, she finished it in a day or so. I had dibs on reading it second, but my nephew (her son) got to it first. Damn him! Rather than wait for him to finish, I decided to go out and buy it myself…my first J.K. Rowling book ever! Sorry…really not that exciting.
I’m happy to say that Ms. Rowling doesn’t let us down. Her legions of fan(atic)s will be extremely pleased/horrified/crushed with what she brews up for us in this one. I’m obviously not going to say much about what happens, but Rowling continues to lead us down the dark path she has laid out for us in the past few entries. The penultimate chapter in the Harry Potter saga bravely sets us all up for what (we hope) to be a thrilling conclusion some time in the next few years when Rowling gives us our Seventh Year at Hogwarts.
That being said there is something that bothers me about these books and I’ve encountered it before. I really don’t like Harry. Period. I just want to reach into the book and slap some sense into the kid. He’s childish, secretive, and occasionally unnecessarily mean. Yeah, I know. He’s an orphaned kid living with brutish relatives forced into an unimaginable situation, but I WANT to root for him. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to yet. If he would just talk about his problems a bit more with those he trusts (Dumbledore, Lupin, etc…), and not just Hermione and Ron, it seems that he may have been able to avoid some of the tragedies that have befallen him. Actually, it’s not just Harry. The whole damn cast of characters has too many secrets that they keep from each other. Maybe Harry wouldn’t spend so much time on his fanatical distrust of Professor Snapes if Dumbledore would just tell Harry why he trusts him so much. I don’t know, I guess its all necessary in some way, but man that kid bugs me some times.
I guess its unfair to complain that the main character in a storyline about children, written for children is too childish, but I can’t help it. Orson Scott Card was able to write about children that you could really root for in “Ender’s Game” and related novels, so it is not impossible. Come to think of it, I wasn’t a real big fan of Frodo in “The Lord of the Rings” or Shea in “The Sword of Shannara” (the most blatant “LotR” rip-off ever) either. It’s some of the secondary characters that I’ve always latched onto as being my favorites. Sam and Eowyn in “LotR”, and Hile Troy and the Haruchai in the Thomas Covenant trilogies are just a few examples.
Anyway, I think I’ll conclude by stating that the Harry Potter series is fresh enough to warrant a good deal of praise, but I don’t think I can include it with some of the great works of past in the fantasy genre. That could have a lot to do with my age (rapidly approaching 40), or the average age of the Harry Potter fan. I have to wonder if these are the first books of this type that these kids are reading, or if they are aware of the grand roots of fantasy that they come from. I would like to see the kind of excitement that Harry Potter generates come around again for an old jewel like “The Chronicles of Narnia” by C.S. Lewis once The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe comes out on film later this year.
(A quick side-rant. Who the hell decided to re-order the books in “The Chronicles of Narnia?” When I first read the books way back in 1976, “The Magician’s Nephew” was the sixth book in the series even though the events of the book predated those in “TLtWatW”. Now that book is listed as book one in the series, thereby spoiling some of the golden nuggets of enlightenment that reside within. Listen, don’t mess with the original order of the books…the order in which Lewis wrote them! Okay…I’m done.)
Guest Review by B.E. Earl
Hey kids! Earl here again. I completed a blistering read of the new Harry Potter entry a few weeks ago, and I thought that I would share with you, my brothers and only friends, some thoughts on the whole series and its place in fantasy fiction.
I know that I’m not exactly the demographic that is reading Harry Potter these days. I’m not a teenage girl, nor have I ever been. I started reading the Potter books last year after I went to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with my nephew. I had previously seen the first two films and honestly didn’t think much of them. I was interested in Azkaban because of it was directed by Alfonso Cuaron (Y tu mama tambien), and I wanted to see what he would do with it. I was more than pleasantly surprised with the results, and I was interested enough to ask my older sister, who has been reading the books, whether or not they were worth my while. She told me that they were quick reads, but pretty entertaining once you got into them.
Well, I read the first five books of the series in the next few weeks and I was surprised (once again) to find them really enjoyable. I mean, it wasn’t Tolkein by any stretch of the imagination, but J.K. Rowling had really created a fun-to-read, escapist bit ‘o fantasy and I could see why it appeals to younger readers so much. The basic premise for the books is not exactly groundbreaking. A thoroughly underwhelming young boy is thrown into a situation involving good, evil and all sorts of magical things only to find out that his destiny is tied to the Big Bad in some way forcing him accept responsibilities that could ultimately lead to his own death or the destruction of everything that he has come to love in that world. Phew! Run-on sentences really wear me out. You can replace the “young boy” with “young hobbit” or “leper” and Harry becomes Frodo or Thomas Covenant, but the premise is still the same. I’m not sure when the main protagonist in fantasy genre switched from the great heroes of old myths to the current run of underdogs, but it has been around for a while. Gives the readers at home something to identify with, I guess.
Getting back to the Potter books, I found that after reading them I came to appreciate the films a whole lot more. Especially the first two films. I still like Azkaban the best, but Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is pretty darned close. So I was pretty eager to read the sixth entry into the series, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.” My sister picked it up the first weekend it was available and, true to form, she finished it in a day or so. I had dibs on reading it second, but my nephew (her son) got to it first. Damn him! Rather than wait for him to finish, I decided to go out and buy it myself…my first J.K. Rowling book ever! Sorry…really not that exciting.
I’m happy to say that Ms. Rowling doesn’t let us down. Her legions of fan(atic)s will be extremely pleased/horrified/crushed with what she brews up for us in this one. I’m obviously not going to say much about what happens, but Rowling continues to lead us down the dark path she has laid out for us in the past few entries. The penultimate chapter in the Harry Potter saga bravely sets us all up for what (we hope) to be a thrilling conclusion some time in the next few years when Rowling gives us our Seventh Year at Hogwarts.
That being said there is something that bothers me about these books and I’ve encountered it before. I really don’t like Harry. Period. I just want to reach into the book and slap some sense into the kid. He’s childish, secretive, and occasionally unnecessarily mean. Yeah, I know. He’s an orphaned kid living with brutish relatives forced into an unimaginable situation, but I WANT to root for him. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to yet. If he would just talk about his problems a bit more with those he trusts (Dumbledore, Lupin, etc…), and not just Hermione and Ron, it seems that he may have been able to avoid some of the tragedies that have befallen him. Actually, it’s not just Harry. The whole damn cast of characters has too many secrets that they keep from each other. Maybe Harry wouldn’t spend so much time on his fanatical distrust of Professor Snapes if Dumbledore would just tell Harry why he trusts him so much. I don’t know, I guess its all necessary in some way, but man that kid bugs me some times.
I guess its unfair to complain that the main character in a storyline about children, written for children is too childish, but I can’t help it. Orson Scott Card was able to write about children that you could really root for in “Ender’s Game” and related novels, so it is not impossible. Come to think of it, I wasn’t a real big fan of Frodo in “The Lord of the Rings” or Shea in “The Sword of Shannara” (the most blatant “LotR” rip-off ever) either. It’s some of the secondary characters that I’ve always latched onto as being my favorites. Sam and Eowyn in “LotR”, and Hile Troy and the Haruchai in the Thomas Covenant trilogies are just a few examples.
Anyway, I think I’ll conclude by stating that the Harry Potter series is fresh enough to warrant a good deal of praise, but I don’t think I can include it with some of the great works of past in the fantasy genre. That could have a lot to do with my age (rapidly approaching 40), or the average age of the Harry Potter fan. I have to wonder if these are the first books of this type that these kids are reading, or if they are aware of the grand roots of fantasy that they come from. I would like to see the kind of excitement that Harry Potter generates come around again for an old jewel like “The Chronicles of Narnia” by C.S. Lewis once The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe comes out on film later this year.
(A quick side-rant. Who the hell decided to re-order the books in “The Chronicles of Narnia?” When I first read the books way back in 1976, “The Magician’s Nephew” was the sixth book in the series even though the events of the book predated those in “TLtWatW”. Now that book is listed as book one in the series, thereby spoiling some of the golden nuggets of enlightenment that reside within. Listen, don’t mess with the original order of the books…the order in which Lewis wrote them! Okay…I’m done.)
Aug 1, 2005
Wedding Crashers
08/01/2005 6:45 PM EST
Guest Review by B.E. Earl
Hi All! Slyde here. In what I hope to be a regular occurrence, today's review was written by a guest blogger, one B.E. Earl, who I have known for a dog's age, and who is pretty spot on about movies (except the fact that he loves Get Shorty, which I think sucks loads, but that's a minor point).
Anyway, on with the review, Earl....
Hey folks! Welcome to my first “guesting” gig on SlydesBlog.com. I’m going to try to pop in once in a while, just to keep himhonest and to provide a more hi-brow element to the site. Well…maybe some fart jokes as well. This time up, I will be sharing my thoughts with you on the newest entry into the R-rated comedy genre, Wedding Crashers. If you enjoy what you see here, then whoop-de-doo for you! Just kidding, all feedback can go to Slyde and if it is positive then I may return to this hallowed site in the future.
Don’t you hate it when someone you know sees a highly anticipated movie before you, and then proceeds to gush over it as if it were the best thing since sliced bread? And you know, sliced bread isn’t really that big a deal at all. I mean that kind of gush-fest is what killed Weekend at Bernie’s 2 for me, and I can’t believe that I’m the only one. Well, that was the situation I found myself in with this film. A bunch of folks I know, including some family members, had already seen it and all I heard were tales of crowded theatres filled with movie-goers blowing soda out of their noses and missing whole scenes of the movie because they had been laughing too hard from the previous scene. They even evoked the name of the big cheese of film hilarity in Something About Mary as a comparison. Needless to say, I was a bit hesitant to believe them. I have seen all the most recent projects of the Frat Pack (Vince Vaughn, the Wilson brothers, Ben Stiller, etc…), and I have been a big fan. However, none of them exactly resulted in the busting of my considerable gut.
I am pleased to report, however, that Wedding Crashers almost lived up to these highest of expectations and exceeded them in some areas. First, the setup: a couple of jaded divorce lawyers (Vaughn and Owen Wilson) have taken to the habit of crashing weddings as a way to meet eligible/horny young ladies. Jeremy Grey (Vaughn), it seems, has been taught the rules of crashing by the greatest crasher of all time, Chaz Reingold (betcha can’t guess the “secret” guest star who plays him). He and his protégé, John Beckwith (Wilson) treat Wedding Season as a six-year old would treat Christmas morning.
Right away we are treated to what must be the longest montage in film history that shows our boys hamming it up at a number of ethnic (Jewish, Irish, Italian, Asian, etc…) weddings and meeting a whole gaggle of gorgeous women whom they proceed to take advantage of. Nice way to show us some of the rules of crashing without wasting a half-hour of the film on backstory. The montage ends with a peek into John’s guilt with the duo’s somewhat adolescent behavior towards these women.
We soon reach the crux of the story, the Cleary Wedding. The grand poobah of all crash gigs. Treasury Secretary Cleary (Christopher Walken) is hosting a gigantic wedding for his daughter Christina. John and Jeremy pose as, well, John and Jeremy Ryan, brothers from New England and distant relatives of the groom. It is there that they set their sights on Secretary Cleary’s two other daughters, Claire (Rachel McAdams) and Gloria (Isla Fisher). Yeah, I know…this has a bad episode of Three’s Company written all over it. Why use their real first names? Why profess to be related to the groom when it could be so easily figured out? Why select the father of the bride’s two daughters as their prey? To answer all three, because if they didn’t the results would have been included in the opening montage and the film would have been released direct to Internet as a short. Plot holes are as imperative to R-rated comedies as boobs and bodily fluids. Let us just accept it and move on.
Doesn’t take a film student to see where this is all going. The guilt-ridden John falls for the seemingly unavailable Claire, the slightly psychopathic Gloria falls for the unrepentant cocksman Jeremy and wackiness ensues right up to the predictably happy ending. I’m not going to bore you with the details. That’s what actually going to see the movie is for.
What I will say is that this has some of the finest comic acting seen in film for a very long time. The terrific ensemble cast includes some great supporting work/cameos by Rebecca DeMornay, Dwight Yoakum, Jane Seymour and Henry Gibson. Jane Seymour was particularly outstanding as the off-center, Owen Wilson chasing, boozehound mother of the three Cleary girls. I can’t ever remember her being funny before. The film also includes some very funny newcomers in Bradley Cooper (as Sack Lodge, Claire’s Cro-Magnon boyfriend) and Keir O’Donnell (as Todd Cleary, the Secretary’s gay angst-ridden son). Rachel McAdams (Mean Girls) is adorable and totally lovable as Claire, but it is Isla Fisher as Gloria who just about steals the movie. Her, um, energetic performance is one that should be remembered for a very long time.
I mentioned that Fisher “almost” stole the movie with her performance, well that is only because Vince Vaughn didn’t let her. What he showed a glimpse of in Old School comes to full fruition here. He is laugh-out-loud funny in what is arguably his best film role since Swingers. Well, I liked Clay Pigeons a lot as well, but I seem to be the only one. It’s not that Owen Wilson isn’t really good in this film, he is. It’s just that when a star shines as brightly as Vaughn does in this film it is hard for any of the actors working with him not to be blinded. Which is what makes Fisher’s performance so worthy of praise. Wilson does shine on his own quite a bit, especially as things go bad for him in the film, but let us not make any mistakes. This movie belongs to Vince Vaughn.
I’m giving this film ***1/2 using Andy’s five-star rating system, but if you are to judge it solely on what is trying to be then feel free to give it a perfect rating. It’s not Kurosawa or Scorsese. Hell, it’s not even Ron Howard, but you get exactly what you are paying your $9.50 for. As Jeremy says to Claire in the film “I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you. And you want to know what? I dig it."
Guest Review by B.E. Earl
*** 1/2 (out of 5) stars.
Hi All! Slyde here. In what I hope to be a regular occurrence, today's review was written by a guest blogger, one B.E. Earl, who I have known for a dog's age, and who is pretty spot on about movies (except the fact that he loves Get Shorty, which I think sucks loads, but that's a minor point).
Anyway, on with the review, Earl....
Hey folks! Welcome to my first “guesting” gig on SlydesBlog.com. I’m going to try to pop in once in a while, just to keep himhonest and to provide a more hi-brow element to the site. Well…maybe some fart jokes as well. This time up, I will be sharing my thoughts with you on the newest entry into the R-rated comedy genre, Wedding Crashers. If you enjoy what you see here, then whoop-de-doo for you! Just kidding, all feedback can go to Slyde and if it is positive then I may return to this hallowed site in the future.
Don’t you hate it when someone you know sees a highly anticipated movie before you, and then proceeds to gush over it as if it were the best thing since sliced bread? And you know, sliced bread isn’t really that big a deal at all. I mean that kind of gush-fest is what killed Weekend at Bernie’s 2 for me, and I can’t believe that I’m the only one. Well, that was the situation I found myself in with this film. A bunch of folks I know, including some family members, had already seen it and all I heard were tales of crowded theatres filled with movie-goers blowing soda out of their noses and missing whole scenes of the movie because they had been laughing too hard from the previous scene. They even evoked the name of the big cheese of film hilarity in Something About Mary as a comparison. Needless to say, I was a bit hesitant to believe them. I have seen all the most recent projects of the Frat Pack (Vince Vaughn, the Wilson brothers, Ben Stiller, etc…), and I have been a big fan. However, none of them exactly resulted in the busting of my considerable gut.
I am pleased to report, however, that Wedding Crashers almost lived up to these highest of expectations and exceeded them in some areas. First, the setup: a couple of jaded divorce lawyers (Vaughn and Owen Wilson) have taken to the habit of crashing weddings as a way to meet eligible/horny young ladies. Jeremy Grey (Vaughn), it seems, has been taught the rules of crashing by the greatest crasher of all time, Chaz Reingold (betcha can’t guess the “secret” guest star who plays him). He and his protégé, John Beckwith (Wilson) treat Wedding Season as a six-year old would treat Christmas morning.
Right away we are treated to what must be the longest montage in film history that shows our boys hamming it up at a number of ethnic (Jewish, Irish, Italian, Asian, etc…) weddings and meeting a whole gaggle of gorgeous women whom they proceed to take advantage of. Nice way to show us some of the rules of crashing without wasting a half-hour of the film on backstory. The montage ends with a peek into John’s guilt with the duo’s somewhat adolescent behavior towards these women.
We soon reach the crux of the story, the Cleary Wedding. The grand poobah of all crash gigs. Treasury Secretary Cleary (Christopher Walken) is hosting a gigantic wedding for his daughter Christina. John and Jeremy pose as, well, John and Jeremy Ryan, brothers from New England and distant relatives of the groom. It is there that they set their sights on Secretary Cleary’s two other daughters, Claire (Rachel McAdams) and Gloria (Isla Fisher). Yeah, I know…this has a bad episode of Three’s Company written all over it. Why use their real first names? Why profess to be related to the groom when it could be so easily figured out? Why select the father of the bride’s two daughters as their prey? To answer all three, because if they didn’t the results would have been included in the opening montage and the film would have been released direct to Internet as a short. Plot holes are as imperative to R-rated comedies as boobs and bodily fluids. Let us just accept it and move on.
Doesn’t take a film student to see where this is all going. The guilt-ridden John falls for the seemingly unavailable Claire, the slightly psychopathic Gloria falls for the unrepentant cocksman Jeremy and wackiness ensues right up to the predictably happy ending. I’m not going to bore you with the details. That’s what actually going to see the movie is for.
What I will say is that this has some of the finest comic acting seen in film for a very long time. The terrific ensemble cast includes some great supporting work/cameos by Rebecca DeMornay, Dwight Yoakum, Jane Seymour and Henry Gibson. Jane Seymour was particularly outstanding as the off-center, Owen Wilson chasing, boozehound mother of the three Cleary girls. I can’t ever remember her being funny before. The film also includes some very funny newcomers in Bradley Cooper (as Sack Lodge, Claire’s Cro-Magnon boyfriend) and Keir O’Donnell (as Todd Cleary, the Secretary’s gay angst-ridden son). Rachel McAdams (Mean Girls) is adorable and totally lovable as Claire, but it is Isla Fisher as Gloria who just about steals the movie. Her, um, energetic performance is one that should be remembered for a very long time.
I mentioned that Fisher “almost” stole the movie with her performance, well that is only because Vince Vaughn didn’t let her. What he showed a glimpse of in Old School comes to full fruition here. He is laugh-out-loud funny in what is arguably his best film role since Swingers. Well, I liked Clay Pigeons a lot as well, but I seem to be the only one. It’s not that Owen Wilson isn’t really good in this film, he is. It’s just that when a star shines as brightly as Vaughn does in this film it is hard for any of the actors working with him not to be blinded. Which is what makes Fisher’s performance so worthy of praise. Wilson does shine on his own quite a bit, especially as things go bad for him in the film, but let us not make any mistakes. This movie belongs to Vince Vaughn.
I’m giving this film ***1/2 using Andy’s five-star rating system, but if you are to judge it solely on what is trying to be then feel free to give it a perfect rating. It’s not Kurosawa or Scorsese. Hell, it’s not even Ron Howard, but you get exactly what you are paying your $9.50 for. As Jeremy says to Claire in the film “I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you. And you want to know what? I dig it."
Jan 4, 2005
Bug-Eyed Beer Reviews - Archive
Find your favorite Beer Reviews Reviews here - Earl
Pumpkin Ales
Full Sale Session Black
Firestone Walker Union Jack IPA
Bourbon Cask Ales
Greenport Harbor Brewing
And, of course, all the hop goodness over at the Beer-Eyed Blog.
Jan 3, 2005
Bug-Eyed Movie Review Archives
Find your favorite Buggin' Out Movie Reviews here - Earl
Wedding Crashers
Serenity
Unforgiven
The Beast Must Die
The Lookout
Seven Brides For Seven Brothers (Seriously)
Michael Clayton
Cloverfield
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Rocky Balboa
Seraphim Falls
The Man From Earth
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Repo Man
In Bruges
The Substitute
Sukiyaki Western Django
Watchmen
Let the Right One In
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Amityville II: The Possession
Terminator: Salvation
Sorcerer
Spider Baby
Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror
Quarantine
Slaughter High
Trick 'r Treat
The Happening
Payback: Straight Up
The House of the Devil
Avatar
Dead Snow
Frontier(s)
It's Alive (1974)
The Road
The Book of Eli
[REC] and Quarantine
Onibaba
The Funhouse
Sheitan
Vengeance
Centurion
True Grit
Frozen
And, of course, all the awful wonderfulness over at MovieGrenade!
Jan 2, 2005
Still Only 25¢ - archive
Find your favorite "Still Only 25¢" blog posts here - Earl
Iron Man #85
Marvel Team-Up #46
Incredible Hulk #197
Captain America #193
Invaders #6
Interlude
Jan 1, 2005
background stuff
___________________________________________________
Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Don't blame me if it sucks.
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