Anyone interested in Fantasy Baseball?

So I belong to a competitive Fantasy Baseball league that a friend of mine runs, and it's a blast! For those of you who don't know what Fantasy Baseball is, here is a wiki link.

Fantasy Baseball, and the most popular variety called Rotisserie, has been around for around 30 years now. I've been participating in leagues for about 22 years, and they are always fun for the baseball fan.  The league I participate in now is a keeper weekly Head-to-Heat points league with playoffs.  The "keeper" there means that we can offer players on our teams 2 or 3 year contracts within the rule structures of the league.  We choose players in an auction and each team has a salary cap.  So you have to fill your fantasy roster with real players using fake money. Basically, if you really want Albert Pujols on your team you can spend the most money to get him, but it's probably gonna hurt the overall team you "field".  It's all kinda complicated, but fun.

But I've been thinking back to a simpler time and I think I'd like to participate in an old-school 5X5 Roto league with a plain, old draft.  Just for shits and giggles.  So I thought I'd see if there was anyone here who reads this pathetic blog who would like to join me in this endeavor.  I figure if I get another 9 or so people who want to join, then I will go ahead and do it.

My Rules

• You don't have to be a big baseball fan to join. Just someone who thinks they might enjoy interacting and playing along with other like-minded folk.  It's all in good fun.
• It will be a 5X5 Rotisserie League, probably run through Yahoo! Sports. If you don't know what a 5X5 Roto League is, but you are interested, you can email me and I will edumacate you.
• It will be an online draft.  I'll select a time that is agreeable to all.  All you will need is a couple of hours in front of your computer sometime in late March to be involved.  There is an option with these leagues to set your draft order and let the software auto-draft for you, but what fun is that?
• The draft order will be randomly selected. Basically, I will randomly select the preference order and then ask each team, in order, where they want to pick. If there are 10 teams, then the team that picks #1 overall gets the 1st pick in the 1st round, the last pick in the 2nd round, the 1st pick in the third round, etc...  The team that picks last gets the last pick in the 1st round, but the 1st pick in the second round.  It's called a "snake draft". There is some strategy here. Some people prefer to pick in the middle of a round, some at the beginning, some at the end.  
• This league will only be for fun. No money or prizes. Just something to make the long baseball league a bit more interesting for those involved.

That's it. Everything else will be determined once I see if there are enough folks interested.  

Even if you aren't interested, maybe you can forward this around to some of your bloggy friends who might be interested.  I can't imagine getting 9 other people from just my small number of readers. But I'll ask through Twitter as well, and maybe some of you kind folks can re-Tweet that shit and we'll see where we wind up. If there is enough interest after a week or so, I'll contact those who want to be involved and set the whole thing up.  Easy peasy.

So what say you? Anyone interested?

The Fog

Had the oddest/coolest Independence Day yesterday.

Woke up early to some iffy weather.  We were supposed to head out to the beach on my sister's boat, but we chilled out for a while until we heard from them since we weren't sure if they were actually going to go.  Turns out they decided to head out early.  And once they got out onto the bay, they encountered a daytime fog that is truly rare around these parts.  Especially during a warm summer day.  Took them forever to get to Davis Park (a beach community on Fire Island).  They were planning on getting a dock slip and then coming back to the mainland to get us, but since it was dangerous boating with all that fog they asked us to take the ferry across and meet them there.

No problem.  Actually met some nice folks on the ferry.  A couple in front of us wanted to pay with their debit card, but the ferry only took cash.  So we gave them the money for the ride and they found a cash machine over at Davis Park to pay us back.  Good karma, I always say.  Then I gave up my seat to an elderly couple because the ferry was standing room only at that point.  Turned out to be my brother's ex-neighbors.  Really nice folks.

But the ride over to the beach was weird.  Total pea soup.  And it was already 11AM at that point.  Never saw a fog like that didn't burn off in the late morning/early afternoon.  It was like those fake clouds/fog that the alien ships used in the film Independence Day to mask their arrival.  Welcome to Earf!

But there was a bit of a breeze and the surf was pounding.  So we headed out to the beach.  I had a bit of a sunburn from lounging in the pool on Saturday, so I was covered up and sunscreened up. Even with all that fog. And the fog just kept on sticking around.  From the beach, you could see the first set of breakers.  But beyond that?  Nothing.  It was really eerie.  And really cool.  My niece and nephews (and Gia) didn't care, they just played in the surf like normal.  They said all they could see of the next wave was a great big shadow in the fog.  Nice!

Finally, around 4:30PM, the fog lifted. And the clouds mostly cleared too.  Excellent.  Because that meant the big fireworks show over the bay would happen as planned.  So we had a bite to eat back on the boat and headed out for the show.  I'm not a big fireworks guy, but the kids (and Gia) loved it.

All in all, a really cool, freaky, weird, eerie, fun day.

Traveling in style

This was supposed to be a post about a trip I took back in 2001 with a couple of friends. A baseball trip done the old school way. All by rail. But as I began to write it became apparent that it was going to be way too long for one simple little blog entry. So I decided to break it up into segments. Then I got bored with that idea. Now I've whittled the whole trip down to one funny experience on the initial train ride out to Milwaukee.

To summarize, I and two of my friends planned a trip to Milwaukee, Chicago, Detroit and Cleveland to see seven games in seven days at five stadiums, and we decided to travel via the rails since one of my friends was fiercely against the idea of flying. And this was pre-9/11. I guess I should give their names, huh? Since we are reveling in our anonymity, let us call my friends The Jew and Bob. The Jew because, well, he's Jewish. And Bob because I couldn't think of a funny nickname for him without slightly giving away his secret identity. He's a superhero, you know.

Here's what happened on the train ride out of NYC:

The Train Incident

This may have been the most fantastic idea ever! We started out in the afternoon from Penn Station in NYC by having a few cocktails at a TGIFs while The Jew went to get our tickets. We had a couple of sleeper car cabins for the trip to Milwaukee, and then again back to NYC from Cleveland. The rest of the train rides were fairly short going from Milwaukee to Chicago to Detroit to Cleveland. If you have never travelled via sleeper car I think you need to do so right away. It's definitely the way to go!

Our "rooms" were right across the way from each other. Bob and I took one and The Jew took the other. Didn't really matter because we weren't planning on sleeping that much. Our car was right behind the Dining Car where we had steak dinners in the evening and a decent breakfast in the morning. White linen tables, little lamps, gracious servers...just like you see in old movies.

Beyond the Dining Car was the Bar Car...our favorite car. I don't know how long they served through the night, but I think it's safe to say that we closed the joint. The Bar Car also had a smoker's lounge...which is important to the rest of the story. The Jew had decided to take up smoking again, but just for this trip. And he did. He was also able to quit again after the week was through. Don't know many folks who could do that, but he's a freak of nature. In more ways than one.

Life in the Sleeper Car was a bit different for us than the rest of the folks travelling that trip. They all had their doors closed and the shades on their windows drawn. We had our doors open, music playing and liquor flowing. I brought a bottle of Jose Cuervo Reserva de la Familia tequila with me, and we finished off most of that bad boy off on the way to Milwaukee. That and the many, many beers we kept getting from the Bar Car. We were the hit of the trip! Only 2 or 3 complaints from the rest of the passengers...not bad. Actually I was hoping that more of them would be partying, but alas no. A couple of the porters working on the train hung out with us for a while, but I'm not really sure they were supposed to be doing that. Sneaked (snuck?) a few beers here and there with us, and I don't think anyone got hurt.

The Jew, however, made a friend in the smoker's lounge. She was an attractive, young black woman who was heading back home to Detroit after visiting some family in NYC. I hope I don't come across as racist here (and really, how could I in a story where one of the characters is called "The Jew"?), but her name may have been something like Shaquila or Shanaynay. I'm not making that up! She was a lot of fun. Wound up hanging out with us back at our cabins for a good part of the trip because we had some extra room, some extra booze and we were being extra friendly.

Through a drunken haze, I notice the top of a tattoo on her hip right above her jeans. I asked about it because I dig tattoos. I expect her to tell me what it was, and maybe pull down her jeans a little. Not Shaquila. She squeals with excitement and says "Oooo, you wanna see it?" At which point she unzips her jeans and drops them to the floor. She's now in front of me in the tiniest g-string I have ever seen in my life. She moves in close to give me a good look, then she turns around to show me another tattoo on her ass cheek. Did I mention the tiny g-string?

I look over and see that Bob is staring with his mouth open and the Jew is absolutely cracking up. I decide to ask "So Shaquila...what is it that you do for work in Detroit?". She replies "Oh, didn't The Jew tell you? I'm an exotic dancer." Aha...it all makes sense now. The Jew knew she was a stripper from the get-go, but decided to leave that salient detail back in the smoking lounge so he could have a bit of fun with us.

The rest of the trip was spent getting even more drunk with our new stripper friend. She liked the vodka...a lot. There was dancing, smoking, tequila shots...maybe even a free lap dance or two. I don't remember the exact details surrounding bed-time, but Bob and I retired to our cabin and somehow figured out the complexities of the sleeper car bunk-bed system. It wasn't easy.

The Jew, being the gentleman that he is, offered his extra bunk to Shaquila. We still had 6 hours or so before we reached Detroit and she had only a coach ticket so she jumped at the chance. Jumped right out of her clothing, as The Jew told us the next morning. He had no intention of bedding the young lady, he honestly was just being nice. But she offered to keep him company in his bunk nonetheless. He politely said "No thanks", or at least that's what he told us he said. Who knows what happened in that sleeper car cabin on that warm July night in 2001.

He did tell us a few things that may or may not have happened. Once he sobered up, he realized that there was a naked, very young stripper in his cabin and it freaked him out. He spent half the night huddled on his bunk, clutching all his earthly belongings. Well, at least the ones he brought with him on that trip. He kept his hands on his wallet the whole night. He was also horrified when she jumped down from the top bunk, fully nude, and had a pee right there in front of him on the toilet/sink combo thingie. Did I mention that he's a bit of a germaphobe? He finally drifted off to sleep at one point, only to be awakened by her trying to unzip his pants so she could give him a "thank you" BJ. Once again, he said he politely declined. He said.

He woke us up after she departed from the train in Detroit to tell us how the rest of the evening went. Also, it was time for breakfast. She left us her name and number and the strip club she was working at in Detroit, but she told us to be sure to call her first if we were going to go there on the Detroit portion of our trip. Not a lot of "white boys" went to her place, and if she knew we were coming she could have the bouncers look out for us.

We didn't go.

But a part of me wishes that we did. Just for the stories we could tell. That was the first day of our trip and we hadn't even seen any of the cities we were visiting or watched an inning of baseball. But what a way to start the trip off with class, eh?

Movie Quote Meme

(Psst...more movie review chewiness over at MovieGrenade for you to ignore - Earl)

I'm an obsessive quoter of movies that I love. Some love it (Slyde), some fear it (my family), some begrudgingly accept it (Gia), but most don't even know that I am doing it. I once even had a brief fling with a much, much younger waitress that started on a drunken evening that, I think, had me using some of Jack Nicholson's lines to Helen Hunt from As Good as It Gets on her. I even feel a little bad about that one. Because I didn't really mean any of it. So much for being a good guy, eh?

Anyway, I thought it would be fun (after that painfully embarrassing admission above) to list out some of my favorite movie quotes from some of my current films. Do you have any that you A) use in your daily routine or B) wish you could use in your daily routine?

The Departed
Frank Costello: Who let this IRA motherfucker in my bar?
[the man looks startled]
Frank Costello: [laughs] Only kidding. How's your mother?
Man in Costello's Bar: Oh... I'm afraid she's on her way out.
Frank Costello: [walks away] We all are. Act accordingly.
[smiles and his straightens tie.]

The 40-Year Old Virgin
Cal: Wanna know how I know you're gay? Because you like Coldplay.

Unforgiven
Will Munny: It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.
The Schofield Kid: Yeah, well, I guess he had it coming.
Will Munny: We all got it coming, kid.

Aliens
Burke: It was a bad call, Ripley. It was a bad call.

After Hours
[after witnessing a murder through a window]
Paul Hackett: I'll probably get blamed for that.

The Big Lebowski
[being forced into a limousine]
The Dude: Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

The Princess Bride
[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Dazed and Confused
Slater: Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.

Field of Dreams
Shoeless Joe Jackson: Ty Cobb wanted to play, but none of us could stand the son-of-a-bitch when we were alive, so we told him to stick it!

Office Space
Peter Gibbons: Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?
Joanna: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.
Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that, but they made the Jews wear them.

Reservoir Dogs
Mr. Blonde: Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?

Rounders
[His girlfriend says they don't have time for sex now]
Mike McDermott: I'll be really quick. You won't feel a thing.

Say Anything
Constance: Why do you eat that stuff? There's no food in your food.

The Wicker Man
Sergeant Howie: [Upon seeing the wicker man] Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ!
(I use this one an awful lot in my daily life - Earl)

Beerfest
Todd Wolfhouse: Steve's got the eye of the Jew.

Big Trouble in Little China
Jack Burton: Like I told my last wife, I said, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see, and besides... it's all in the reflexes."

The Birdcage
[Albert walks back and forth with a John Wayne swagger]
Albert: No good?
Armand: Actually, it's perfect. I just never realized John Wayne walked like that.

Bull Durham
Crash Davis: I have been known on occasion to howl at the moon.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Dr. Gonzo: I hate to say this, but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting the fear.
Raoul Duke: Look, there's two women fucking a polar bear!
Dr. Gonzo: Don't tell me these things. Not now man.

Get Shorty
Bo Catlett: Only this time it ain't no John Wayne and Dean Martin shooting bad guys in "El Dorado."
Chili Palmer: That was "Rio Bravo." Robert Mitchum played the drunk in "El Dorado." Dean Martin played the drunk in "Rio Bravo." Basically, it was the same part. Now John Wayne, he did the same in both. He played John Wayne.
Bo Catlett: Man, I can't wait for you to be dead.

High Fidelity
[while Marie de Salle is singing "Baby I Love Your Way"]
Rob Gordon: I used to hate this song.
Barry, Dick: Yeah.
Rob Gordon: Now I kinda like it.
Barry, Dick: Yeah.

A League of Their Own
[Jimmy has just signed a baseball for a little boy]
Little Boy: [reading] Avoid the clap, Jimmy Dugan.
Jimmy Dugan: Hey, that's good advice!

There are a million more that I use every day, I just can't remember them right now. I've now decided to tag everyone on my blogroll with the same task. Gimme some of your favorite movie quotes and avoid the clap! - Earl

Fun in the sun.

Had a weird and wonderful time in Montauk this past weekend. Went a little something like this:

After a 3 hour and 15 minute drive (fuck!), we finally arrived in Montauk last Thursday at around 3:30PM. We checked into our hotel quickly, then popped over to another hotel where a bunch of family and friends were staying to say hello. Then we headed over to a place called Dave's Grill to make reservations for dinner.

We headed over there because they have a funky reservation policy. You can call or stop by the restaurant anytime after 4:30 for same-day reservations. Getting through is sometimes tough, so many of the locals line up around 3:30-4:00ish to make sure they get one. That's what we did.

There were maybe 6 people ahead of us in line, and one of them had this great looking black dog. Gia, as she is apt to do, immediately went over to play with the doggie. She was surprised when she looked up and say that the owner was Aida Turturro, of "The Sopranos" fame. This led to us running into her, and her dog, 2 more times over the next few days. We never acknowledged her celebrity, and she never acknowledged our raw sexual magnetism. Must have been tough for her. She, and her doggie, were super, super nice.

The next day was Gia's birthday. We went out for an early breakfast at Mr. John's Pancake House with some of my family. After a brief interlude with Ms. Turturro (she must have been stalking us) we headed to the beach for the day with the rest of the crazies. Gia had such a good time getting knocked around in the surf. At one point, my niece came up to tell me that "your girlbriend id geddin' knocked down and she gonna dwown". I looked into it, but decided she was fine. Tough love, I always say.

Then dinner at The Shagwong for all the adults in the group. All 10 of us. There are better restaurants in Montauk, for sure, but we couldn't find any to accommodate our group. We had a blast anyway. I'm not sure my mother has recovered from the conversation yet. Shocking stuff.

Saturday, we spent most of the morning and early afternoon on the beach with my family before they headed back home. Then G and I took a drive to a place called Duryea's Lobster Deck for lunch. It's a casual eating joint overlooking the Long Island Sound with great views.

The table next to us had a couple of little terriers, and at one point the little one got away. I boldly rescued the doggie and returned it to the table triumphantly. Gia, as she is apt to do, started playing with the dog and talking to her owner who turned out to be Louise Lasser. Don't know if you remember her, but she was the titular star of "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" in the 70's and she was married to Woody Allen for a brief time in the late 60's. She was real sweet.

The rest of the evening was filled with karaoke (Gia sang "Right Hand Man" and blew the doors off the joint), decent drinks and bad food. I won't mention the joint we had bad food, but we should have known better..

Good times. And I'm actually a little tanned. Slyde can attest to the fact that me getting tan is something that never happens. Too Irish, I guess.

Wastin' Away Again

Once again, since I like what I like, I am heading off to my favorite vacation spot. Key West.

I had to spill the beans to Gia because of packing issues (Seriously, how the hell can you take a woman on a mystery vacation without her packing her entire fucking wardrobe?), and she practically jumped for joy. Actually she did jump, and it was fun to watch. ;)

Once again if you need to get in touch with me, I will be here. We definitely will be there watching the show on Friday night and/or Saturday night, so check out the web-cam for all the fun and excitement. Check out their blog too. I'm gonna try to finagle myself into one of the pictures on there somehow.

It's going to be hot and humid, but we don't care. The place we are staying (actually, I split it up and we are staying at two different joints), has A/C and a pool, so there will be plenty of inactivity. Plus, I'm sure if we try hard enough we can find someplace to have a cold, alcoholic beverage or twelve.

Hee hee! See y'all when I get back!

PS - Hey, I just realized that this is my 99th post. I'll have to come back with some great stories for #100.