Feb 26, 2008


Gia and I watched an episode of something called Intervention last night on A&E. I’d heard of it before, but I never really was interested enough to give it a go. I love some types of reality TV. Survivor, The Amazing Race, that kind of thing. But this is a whole different kind of reality TV. Real people (or so they claim) leading real lives and dealing with real problems. Not too much of a fan of that. I’ve got my own problems, thank you very much. But this is the kind of reality TV that Gia loves, so I try to enjoy it with her every now and again. She also likes the Home Shopping channels, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

(Gia Update: OK, Gia just read this and she wants to make it abundantly clear that she hated this show and this woman. She was momentarily fascinated by what a cunt this woman was being, and she wanted to kick her in the twat! But it was a drugged-out, drunk stripper, and what are you gonna do? Notice that she didn't mind me saying how much she loves the Home Shopping channels - Earl)

In this particular episode, an uber-skank of a woman who is addicted to alcohol and crystal meth goes through a bunch of shit before the inevitable intervention from her family and friends. She may be the most awful person that I have ever seen on television. She sits around naked all day (no, it’s not hot) in this shithole of a home paid for by her father. She gets drunk and high early in the day, and then physically assaults her younger sister when she brings her over something to eat. She hangs out in front of the liquor store all day, flirting with guys so that they will buy her booze. Then she heads out to work for the evening at what must be the worst strip club in California. Oh, and she gets her father to drive her to work.

I may be naïve here, but what the hell is crystal meth and why would anyone want to do it? Is it a powder, is it something that you snort, is it something that you inject? Its main attribute seems to be that it makes you fucking insane! They should make junior high kids watch this episode as first strike weapon in the war against drug abuse.

The intervention didn’t work, by the way. That’s another reason why I like Survivor. It always works. Somebody always wins $1 million dollars in the final episode. This trainwreck of a girl winds up skipping out on rehab and her family sends her off to 90 days in jail. Well, actually the authorities did, but they head a lot of help from her family. After her sentence she went about a week before slipping back into the old routine. Very sad.

Got me to thinking about what my episode of Intervention would be like.

My friends and family sitting around a room, confronting me about my masturbation habit.


Dead Sexy Update: Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck. And Harrison Ford approves!


platts42 said...

Yeah, not my kind of show thank you.

Slyde said...

your intervention would probably be the same as the one you described.... exactly.

Bruce Johnson said...

Crystal meth....you usually smoke it in a glass pipe. Its major reason for popularity is the fact that you stay high for days on the stuff. It lasts for like 24 to 36 hours a hit. Fun, fun, and makes you very twitchy and shit. During a seminar I attended regarding this stuff, an undercover Narc officer was talking about it, and he basically said, once you do it, you are toast. There IS no rehab for meth users. Interestingly enough, one of the indicators that someone is high on meth (besides the open sores and missing teeth) is the fact that people on meth have an obsession with taking things apart to see how they work. Most meth addicts have disassembled VCRs and refrigerators in their homes.

Verdant Earl said...

Cap'n - I know what you mean.

Slyde - and the peanut gallery is heard from.

Lotus - I've always assumed that VCRs and refrigerators worked because of the gremlins and the magic inside of them. I'm not a very mechanical kinda guy.

Kat said...

I've seen this show. It's a little too intense for my liking. Sad to say I know few people who could use one though.

elizabeth said...

You and me both kat.

I think if my friends were to stage an intervention for me - it may have something to do with the number of shoes I own...

Verdant Earl said...

Kat - Me too! Especially at 1AM!

Liz - Women and their shoes could be a whole season worth of shows.

Artful Kisser said...

Beyond knowing that it makes you crazy, rots your teeth and removes the cheeks from your face Skeletor style I really didn't know what it actually was either. I did always wonder whether interventions actually worked. I know I'm happy to knock anyone out who gets between me a block of chocolate.

Elise said...

You know something I hate reality TV shows. Its an excuse for lazy ass people to get famous for doing stupid shit. The woman sound like a complete idiot.

Intervention sounds a bit too scary. Espescially about masterbation. What could you say?!

"I'm sorry, I just can't help it Dad! I've tried so hard"

"Its okay son, we're all here for you and we'll help you"


Verdant Earl said...

Artful Kisser - sounds like someone needs a chocolate intervention.

Elise - I guess you could say "But everyone is doing it". Then they would all bow their heads in shame and start wanking away.

Ginormous Boobs said...

This is my favorite episode of all time. The disgusting place she lives in, her dad singing that lame song, the nekkid fight with her sister...my gosh, I couldn't stop watching.

But the best part is her line during the intervention:
Don't hate me because I'm a permanent good one.

Every high school kid should have to watch this show.

Verdant Earl said...

G-Boobs - The naked fight with her sister was truly a classic.