Mr. Kelly

Note: This post was inspired by Faiqa's post last week about a teacher and a lesson learned that has remained with her to this day.  My story about a favorite teacher doesn't have that kind of effect on my life, but I figured I would share it with you anyway.  Besides who comes to this site to learn a life lesson anywho? Right...no one.

____________________________________________________________

My first upper-level undergraduate history paper was a life-changer. Or at least it changed the way that I looked at school work. I honestly don't even know why I was in the class, being a Computer Science major amidst a sea of History and Poli-Sci kids.  It was freshman year and while all my friends were cruising through Western Civilization, I was stuck with Advanced American History with a professor who was known as being the toughest in school.

On the very first day in class, I knew it was gonna be a bitch when I saw the syllabus, which included a 25-page paper on the topic of our choice that had to be pre-approved by his TA.  I chose the Jim Crow laws and de jure racial segregation mandated in certain states after the Civil War. I got a D+.  In big red letters on the cover page.  With the words "sophomoric" and "see me" underlined directly below it. 

When I went to see him, he called me out on exactly the kind of lazy student I had become.  Cruised through High School without doing any work at all? Check. Never really studied for tests, but did well on them anyway? Check. Researched and wrote this entire paper in about a day and a half, right? Uh...check.  He was one of those rare teachers who wouldn't settle for anything less than the best from his students.  Instead of just beating on me though, he handed me a book he had there on proper writing techniques (all of which I've OBVIOUSLY forgotten since), and offered his input on any future papers I had with him.  I jumped at the chance, especially since I had to deal with another semester (and another 25 page paper) with this guy in the Spring.

I eeked out a C+ with him that semester, but I managed an A the following semester.  And I don't believe I received anything less than an A my remaining college career on any papers.  I still didn't study much for tests, so the rest of my grades weren't as good. But I could write a pretty damned good college paper after he was through with me.

Interestingly, he pulled me aside at the end of the year and told me he was trying to get a Film Genre class approved by the school in a couple of years and he hoped that I would be one of his students in it. So not only did he take the time to make his students better students, he also took the time to know them.  He got the class approved in time for my senior year, and I was one of about 100 who signed up for it.  Half of them walked out when they saw the syllabus.  Which included two 25 page papers and several more 10 page papers.  Another 15-20 dropped out soon afterward.  He wanted everyone to know that this wasn't going to be an easy A.  It was for me, though.  Especially those papers.

I guess it really hasn't helped my in life outside of school, but the time he took to correct an obvious flaw in my work really helped me get through college.  So thanks, Mr. Kelly...wherever you are.

B Double E Double R U N

Beer Run.  All you need is a ten or a five or a car key and a sober driver.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

PROGRAMMING NOTE: This week's episode of Just Talking to the Cornfield will be tonight (Friday) at 9PM EST instead of our normal Sunday night timeslot. Because of the Holiday Weekend and all. Hope you all can join us, and sorry for the late notice.

An invitation

So I've been thinking about opening a new cooking/recipe/food/drinking blog lately.  Something I think I've mentioned before.  Well, I'm ready to do it as I've got another person, a current non-blogger, who has shown interest as well.

But I'm looking for anyone else out there who might like to join in on the fun.  Posts can cover anything and everything to do with food.  I envision recipes, restaurant reviews, food and beverage stories, that time you got it on with a hot apple pie, whatever.  I'd love to get a half dozen regular contributors or more, and it's not something you HAVE to do each day or week.  Just whenever you feel like posting.  I probably will only post once a week or so on it. 

No schedule, no commitments, no hassles.

So let me know either in comments below or via e-mail (babyburke at aol dot com) if you are interested, and I'll set everything up either on Blogger or Wordpress.  Then I'll send out the official invites so you can register.

Fun, fun, fun!!!

You know what I hate?

Our cat's eyes are a little fucked up right now.  This asshole.

Bootsy!

His eyes look okay in that picture, but he is prone to either pink eye or allergies or just general bruising around the eyes due to rough kitty play. We honestly don't know whey his eyes get fucked up every once in a while. I think the last possible reason is a big one. Whitey plays hard, Whitey gonna get beat down every once in a while. Bitch.

But, of course, we are worried parents. And fuck you for laughing at "parents" in that last section. You deal with your shit, I'll deal with mine. So we decided that if he doesn't recover in the next day or so, we are taking him back to the Vet. Which I hate. Because I'm beginning to think it's all a scam.

Every time we bring one of our animals to the Vet, it's several hundred bucks out of our bank account. I mean, can't he just look at him and say "Yah...it's just irritated. Here's some ointment"? No, he's always "Well, let's do some blood work and maybe a full series of allergy tests and blah blah blah can't be too careful", and then cha-ching...$400 is gone. They take advantage of pet owners because of how much we love our pets. And there is no alternative. It really, really sucks.

And most unfairly, these loved ones aren't covered by any family insurance policy.

People who choose not to have kids should be allowed insurance coverage for their animals and for them to live 3 times as long as normal. That is all.

Let England Shake

"PJ makes me wet!" - Bi-curious Barbie*

Let England Shake

by PJ Harvey

The West's asleep. Let England shake,

weighted down with silent dead.

I fear our blood won't rise again.

England's dancing days are done.

Another day, Bobby, for you to come home

& tell me indifference won.

Smile, smile Bobby, with your lovely mouth.

Pack up your troubles, let's head out

to the fountain of death

and splash about, swim back and forth

and laugh out loud,

until the day is ending,

and the birds are silent in the branches,

and the insects are courting in the bushes,

and by the shores of lovely lakes

heavy stones are falling.

*Mattel, Inc. decided against marketing Bi-curious Barbie and the world was a sadder place.

Earl's Favorite Film Scenes: Volume IX

Tired tonight after another epic episode of Just Talking to the Cornfield (listen here or here). So instead of a well-written, well-planned post (yeah, right!), you get another one of my favorite film scenes.  Just because, just for scuzz.

This one is from So I Married an Axe Muderer, and if you listened to the show last night you'll probably know why I picked it.  The clip is a little long, and it's only marginally funny.  But Mike Myers brings it as the Scottish father here.

MOVE! HEAD!

Enjoy!

New Episide tonight at 9PM EST - JTTTC

Find out who the best hitter in baseball is.     Or feel free to come on in and argue your way against us.....!!

 

 

Most VOTTO Player??    What does it mean??   I'm not really 100% sure but I suppose we will find out together!!    Like just about everything else, I suppose we'll know it when we see it.  As always, Earl says it best:

 

 

 

Title: EPISODE12 - Most Votto Player

Time:  05/22/2011 09:00 PM EDT Episode Notes: If there were an award for Most Votto Player, Joey Votto of the Reds would most certainly win every year. And it's beginning to look like he is gonna be a strong contender for that other MVP award year in and year out. But is he the best player in baseball right now? Listen in as Earl and The Colonel discuss. Or don't and be the subject of ridicule to a very small but intense group of baseball nerds. You wouldn't like them when they get angry.

 

 

 

http://talktothecornfield.webs.com/

 

Join us Sunday night at 9 using the following link

 

http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=95365&cmd=tc

 

Or as usual you can listen to the show on I-Tunes when its posted during the week:

 

 

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/just-talking-to-the-cornfield/id424603470

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Earl and The Colonel

 

 

 

The waiting is the hardest part

Last night, I pickled and jarred some sugar snap peas.

Seriously.  Me.  I've never pickled anything before in my life.  Besides myself, of course.

I read about the recipe on this fantastic site (H/T to Alex Belth over at Bronx Banter), and I just knew that I had to make me some.

Here's what the jarred snap peas look like now.  The jar on the right should come out a bit spicier than the jar on the left.  I added some more hot chili peppers to that one.  Everything else I did the same.

Yummies

Now I've got to make sure they stay hidden in the back of the fridge for the next 2 weeks.  I'd be otherwise tempted to sample them along the way.  The thought of devouring them has me shivering with antici.....pation.

Come up to the lab, and....see what's on the slab.

PS - I also made this extraordinarily simple pasta sauce the other night from that site.  Just tomatoes, butter and a halved onion.  It was really, really, really good.

101 Stupid Questions

Marty Mankins sucked me into this one.  And only because of his answer to #65, which is awesome.  Mine?  Not so much.  I went back and forth between being truthful and just being stupid sarcastic.  I think you'll be able to easily tell the difference.

1.    ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? Split my lip and knocked out my front teeth on the front steps of our home when I was 3 years old.  Ouch. 
2.    WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR BEDROOM? Representations of the Sun and the Moon.
3.    WHAT DOES YOUR MOBILE PHONE LOOK LIKE? A Palm Pixi. Very manly.
4.    WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? The stuff on my iPod.
5.    DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? I've been told it was around 5PM.  Happy hour, of course.
6.    WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? A slice of pizza from John's of Bleecker Street.
7.    WHO DO YOU MISS? My Dad.
8.    IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU OR HAS A CRUSH ON YOU? My Gia.  But who knows, maybe someone else has a crush on me too.  Who could blame them?
9.    WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED? My Gia.
10.  WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Daniel.
11.  THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED?  Buffy...glorious Buffy.
12.  THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO? My neighbor.
13.  DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Only when the lights are out.
14.  THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Mr. Onion.
15.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME? Beach by Bobbi Brown. Stolen from Kramer, of course.
16.  WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? I don't have a preference, but a little bright red or electric blue couldn't hurt.
17.  WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY? Smart-ass funny.
18.  COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS? Coffee!  A thousand times YES!!!
19.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Green olives.
20.  IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Pizza topped with green olives, of course.
21.  WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU MAD? Joe Buck. Oh, how I hate that man.
22.  DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE? Nope, but I can count to ten in 8 different languages.
23.  WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU? What are you, high?  How the fuckety fuck am I supposed to remember that.
24.  DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?  I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this meme.
25.  ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? Just my penis.
26.  FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Eddie Bauer? The Gap? Old Navy? Ralph Lauren?  I dunno.
27.  WHAT’S YOUR DREAM CAR? A chopped 1970's Ford Bronco.  Oh yeah.
28.  WHAT COLOR IS IT? Doesn't matter as long as it's mint.
29.  WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF EXERCISE? Web-surfing or couch-sitting.
30.  WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? You can't help who you fall in love with.
31.  WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? A soft punch to the shoulder and a wink.
32.  WRITE A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED? No.
33.  BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Didn't we do this already?
34.  WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN? 888-ASS-CHAT.
35.  WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? Stupid memes.
36.  HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY? WHERE DID YOU GO? WHAT PLACE DID YOU LIKE BEST? Does Florida count?  Seems like a different country to me.
37.  YOUR WEAKNESSES? Boobs.
38.  FRIES/CHIPS, RICE, OR BEANS? Offered in a meal, I usually go with rice.  But I dig me some fries.
39.  FIRST JOB? I worked in a nursery in high school.  The kind with flowers.
40.  EVER PRANK CALLED SOMEONE? In college, sure.
41.  WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS? Thinking real hard about not doing this meme.
42.  IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE? Penis reduction.
43.  WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS MEME? I'm beginning to wonder about that myself.
44.  WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? My fondue.
45.  WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL? WHAT?  WHY WOULD YOU EVEN KID AROUND ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!?!
46.  WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? Peace on Earth, blah, blah, blah.
47.  HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? Zero, nada, zip, bupkiss...
48.  WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? An arch-angel, apparently.  Or an uncle. 
49.  DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Depends on who I am.  (Get it?)
50.  WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE? I don't have favorites, but I have two least favorites.  My right ring finger and my left middle finger.  All the others are tied for favorite, I guess.
51.  WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? A bacon, egg and cheese sammy.
52.  DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Handwriting?  What's that?
53.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Roast beef or genoa salami.  Can't decide.
54.  ANY BAD HABITS? I chew the nails on my two least favorite fingers.  Gross, right?
55.  WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? CD?  What's a CD?  I'm not embarrassed by any music in any format that I've ever purchased.
56.  IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Only if I were a fan of AWESOME!
57.  HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL? Sure...fuck secrets.
58.  DO LOOKS MATTER? For people? No.  For beer labels? Yes.
59.  YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER? I do it exactly that way, by announcing "I now release my anger"!  But, ya know, louder.
60.  WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? If I had one?  Key West, FL.
61.  DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY? For the most part, no.
62.  WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? It was that Evil Knievel Super Stunt Set with Gyro Launcher.  Awesome!
63.  HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR MOBILE PHONE? 400 or so for around 150 people/companies.
64.  DO YOU USE SARCASM? Pfft...never. /sarcasm
65.  DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS? I know some people who are a pretty big deal on the Internet.  Does that count?
66.  HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT? Bunch of times.  There was one summer where I was a fixture at CBGB in NYC.  Some nights were like mini-Fight Clubs.
67.  WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A PLACE TO LIVE? A door, maybe some windows.
68.  WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Definitely not "Early-poo"!
69.  HOW MANY HATS DO YOU OWN? WHAT’S YOUR HAT SIZE? Probably half a dozen hats, mostly large baseball caps.  I have one fitted porkpie hat, but I'm not digging it out to check the size.
70.  DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I mostly wear these or flip-flops, so no.
71.  WERE YOU UPSET ABOUT STEVE IRWIN DYING? Not at all.
72.  WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Chocolate marshmallow. 
73.  ARE YOU LAZY? Extremely.  Like I'm really fighting against quitting this meme right now.
74.  WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT THE MOMENT? Anything by Adele.
75.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BAND? Now? Foo Fighters.  All-time? Sonic Youth.
76.  HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE? None.
77.  DO YOU WANT TO GO ANYWHERE SPECIAL THIS YEAR? Haven't been to Key West in 3 years, so...Key West.
78.  WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?  The rain outside.
79.  LAST THING YOU ATE? Really?  Again?
80.  LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Uh, a client about an hour ago.
81.  WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE MORNING?  What a handsome devil I am.
82.  FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?  "Friday" by Rebecca Black.
83.  FAVORITE TWO THINGS TO HATE? "Friday" and Rebecca Black.
84.  FAVORITE DRINK? Bourbon on the rocks.  Or just plain water.
85.  FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? Really don't have one.  Not even my own.
86.  SPORTS YOU LIKE TO WATCH? Baseball, duh.
87.  WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? The most interesting shade of grey.
88.  EYE COLOR? Dreamy. It's an official color.
89.  DO YOU WEAR GLASSES? No, but I probably should for reading.
90.  SIBLINGS? Got 'em.
91.  FAVORITE MONTH(s)? I'm partial to both October and November.
92.  DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?  No, I LOVE sushi!
93.  LAST THING YOU WATCHED? The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson.
94.  FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Of the year?  Um, Halloween?  Or Fantasy Baseball Draft Day!
95.  ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? There were times in my life that I was, sure.
96.  SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer, but Fall and Spring before Summer.
97.  KISSES OR HUGS? Hershey makes Hugs?
98.  RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS? My current situation requires me to say "relationships". ;)
99.  WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE CELEBRITY? Pauley Perrette.
100.WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY PERSON TO ASK YOU ON A DATE? Pauley Perrette.
101.BOOKS YOU’D LIKE TO SEE TURNED INTO A FILM? The Thomas Covenant books by Stephen R. Donaldson.  Or "Ender's Game" by Orson Scott Card.  Or the "Foundation" trilogy by Isaac Asimov.  Or "The Iowa Baseball Confederacy" by W.P. Kinsella. 

So there's an hour of my life that I'll never have back again.  Thanks, Marty!

Miss me?

No? Well too friggin' bad.  I'm back.

And raring to go after a short break down in beautiful Charleston.  Even came back with a bit of a tan, and (if you know me) that's not something that easily happens with me.  Even swam in the ocean, and (if you know me) that's not something that easily happens with me.  But I got to the beach on Sunday, and walked up to the waves to get my tootsies wet.  The water was soooo warm, like late-August warm for LI beaches, I just had to dive under the waves immediately.  Always a bit proud of myself when I overcome that specific phobia. 

What's that you say?  You want to hear a couple of more highlights from the trip?  Sure thing, kids.

We went to a Charleston Riverdogs minor-league game last Thursday night. They are the Class A affiliate for the NY Yankees, so I've got a vested interest in seeing how the young guys are doing down there.  They've got an uber-prospect roaming center field for them, a Texan with the catchy moniker of Slade Heathcott.  I dig.  A five-tools kid who looks ready to jump to the next level.  Well, after he serves the 5-game suspension for his role in a brawl the other night.  Way to go, kid.  These Yankees could use someone with a little fire. And his personal history is filled with all the tragedy, faults and redemption that makes you want to root for him even more.

Our seats were right on the visiting team's dugout.  Even got a foul ball.  Well, to be truthful, it was coming my way but one of the coaches from the visiting team caught it and then flipped it over to me.  Still counts...kinda.  Here's a picture of it and one of the big beers I enjoyed during the game.

Budweiser and baseball...

There's also this great deli down there that serves Chicago-stlye hot dogs. One of my favorite foods of all time. But they also serve an Italian Beef au jus sandwich with topped with a spicy giardiniera.  Something I've always wanted to try, and it didn't disappoint.  Now I'm obsessed with giardiniera.  So if any of you know of a good brand that I can mail-order, please let me know.  Here's a pic of the half-consumed hero in all its glory.

Yum...

That's all I got for now.  Do it to it, peoples!

New Episide tonight at 9PM EST - JTTTC

I may be away on vacation, but we are still doing what we do most Sunday nights.  Check the details from The Colonel below for the, um, details. - Earl

________________________________________________________

Tonight should be extra fun as Earl is vacationing in the Carolina's, surely sipping something odd, and tonights topic of baseball's oddballs and weird events should make for good fun.

 

Enjoy and hope you catch you later.

 

 

 

Hey Stalkers, so last week Earl, the Verdant Dude, opted to do a Friday Night Happy Hour show.  To ensure that I adhere to the shows format, I opted to drink a bit.   I'm pretty sure Earl did too.   Our pre-determined schedule was a good one, and the show was running well.   We did our fun discussion on Field of Dreams (the movie in which the name of our show is derived), and then..... well if you missed it, its worth tuning into the replay.  Lets just say that our #1 fan Sybil called into the show and changed the format, probably forever.    I have no real recollection of the last hour of the show, and I haven't listened to the replay so I can't tell you how it all turned out.   I may try to do this weeks show sober.   

 

Speaking of..........., our special segment Sunday will be "Baseball Oddities", or more specifically, the stupidest, dumbest, weirdest more far fetched things that baseball players did off the field.    We will also be adding Shortstops to the Cornfield All-Stars, and catching up on this week in baseball.    Here are the episode notes:

 

05/15/2011 9:00 PM
Episode Notes: Hopefully we can get through this episode without any mention of oral pleasures. Unless you are into that kind of thing, and really...who isn't. Listen to Earl and The Colonel as they discuss the week that was in baseball. There may even be a special visit from one of The Colonel's children. Earl doesn't have any children. Something about court orders and other nonsense...I dunno. He does have several asshole cats though. Meow!!

 

 

 

 

http://talktothecornfield.webs.com/

 

Join us Sunday night at 9 using the following link

 

http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=95365&cmd=tc

 

 

Or as usual you can listen to the show on I-Tunes when its posted during the week:

 

 

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/just-talking-to-the-cornfield/id424603470

 

 

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Earl and The Colonel

 

 

 

Outta here

Headed South for a few days to lay on the beach and drink many cocktails.  So you're on your own for the next 5 or 6.  That might be the first time I've every used "you're" and "your" in the same sentence.  I don't like how it felt.

Oh, and don't worry...we are still doing another episode of Just Talking to the Cornfield this weekend.  Some jobs (heh) you just don't take a vacation from.

I'm Doug...and I'm outta heeeere.

"Brick killed a guy!"

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.

I'm talking, of course, about the latest episode of Just Talking to the Cornfield with Earl and The Colonel.  We recorded it last Friday night in front of an audience of one (thanks, Sybil!), and frankly...it's wasn't exactly our shining moment in the sun.  And by "our", I mean The Colonel.  He was a bit drunk and often inappropriate. Then again, I confessed to peeing during the recording, so there's that.  Lemme 'splain.

See, we decided to do the show on Friday night because I had stuff going on Sunday during our regular time.  And we had a whole heap o' fun the previous time we recorded it on Friday.  Cocktails were consumed, laughs were had, baseball was discussed.  Glorious times, indeed.  But this Friday, well...it all started downhill when we mentioned the hometown of Moonlight Graham from Field of Dreams.  Chisolm, Minnesota.  But I guess it sounded, um, er, how do I put this...like, um, jizm over the air waves.  That's what our, ahem, audience thought anyway.

That devolved into something right out of the Howard Stern show.  Thank God(dess) that Sybil is a good egg, because there was easily a chance for someone to get offended in there at one point.

Oh yeah, I also can't drink for an hour and a half straight without emptying my bladder.  So that happens at one point too.  Behind the scenes, and shit.  You can't hear it, but it happens.  I cop to the fact late in the show.  Yeah...

Morbidly curious?  Listen to the latest episode (or all of them) here on Talkshoe.  Or here on iTunes.  Two drunken idiots bringing their low-brow commentary to the world of baseball has never been more fun.  Well, at least since Mickey Mantle and Billy Martin stopped drinking together.

All You Zombies

This post, unfortunately, has nothing to do with zombies.  I wish it did.

No, for some reason Gia and I were remembering The Hooters the other day.  Not her hooters, which are magnificent I must say.  I'm talkin' about the band.  You know...from the 80's.  And she brought up the song "All You Zombies", and we both agreed that it was a pretty good tune.

Then I found the video on Youtube, and...well...just watch.

Did we really dress like that in the mid-80's? What the hell were we thinking? A bunch of...ZOMBIES, if you ask me.

But the video did make me laugh. It reminded me of that .gif file that someone put together of Paul Rudd dancing in an outfit similar to those.  This one:

click on him to watch him boogie

Special New Episide tonight at 9PM EST - JTTTC

That's right...we are kickin' it Friday night again.  The last time was epic.  As in an epic mess.  Tune in to see just how drunk two 40-somethings can get while doing an internet radio show and talking about advanced statistics.  It'll be a hoot!  Here's The Colonel's weekly email all about it:

___________________________________________________

Yeah Stalkers, we are doing yet another Happy Hour edition of Just Talking To The Cornfield.   Why, well shit I don't know why, because Earl said so, that's why.    Here are the notes for this Friday Nights show. 

 

 

Episode Notes: Because these are so much more fun when we are a bit stoopid. Earl and The Colonel will be discussing the film that inspired the name of this show, Field of Dreams. And exactly why it can turn grown men into blubbering idiots. Also, BABIP (Batting Average on Balls In Play) is a fun advanced statistic. Mostly because if you try to pronounce the acronym, you sound silly. And while Derek Jeter sure is a pretty mother-fucker, is he done as a productive player? And then there are the second-base nominees for the Cornfield All-Stars.  Listen in and be underwhelmed.

 

 

 

 

http://talktothecornfield.webs.com/

 

Join us FRIDAY night at 9 using the following link

 

http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=95365&cmd=tc

 

Or as usual you can listen to the show on I-Tunes when its posted during the week:

 

 

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/just-talking-to-the-cornfield/id424603470

 

 

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Earl and The Colonel

 

 

When did that start?

As in:

• When did I start preferring lumpy mashed potatoes?  When I was a kid, we used an electric mixer to get our mashed potatoes as smooth and creamy as possible.  And that's how I enjoyed my mashers for the longest time.  But now, I use a hand masher and I take no time at all in kind of mashing them.  I just think they taste better chunky.
• When did I start needing 8 hours of sleep a night?  I used to be fine on 5 or 6 hours every night.  Nowadays, I need 3 cups of coffee in the morning if I don't get in the requisite 8.  It was bound to happen eventually, I guess.  
• When did I start growing hair in my ears?  I'll offer no further input on this one.  Let's move on.
• When did I start chewing the fingernail on my right thumb again?  I used to chew on/pick at all my fingernails back in the day, but I was able to will myself to stop except for one finger on each hand.  My middle finger on my left hand and my ring finger on the right.  I've tried and tried, but I seem to hate those two fingernails the most.  So they get punished.  But lately, I've found myself picking at and chewing the nail on my right thumb as well.  I do it unconsciously, like when I'm reading or watching late night television.  But it's a nasty habit and it needs to stop.  I'd like to stop on my other two fingernails too, but let's work on this one first.
• When did my hair start to look like Gary Faulkner's hair?  He's the dude that claimed he had hunted and killed bin Laden a while back.  He was on TV tonight and both Gia and I paused because it was an almost exact match.  Yikes.

Stuff like that.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, kids!

Wolowitz Redux

You know my cat Wolowitz, right?

  

He's the cat on the right, not the cat on the left. The cat on the left is Simon Helberg. And he only plays a cat named Wolowitz.  The cat on the right is the real deal.  I still dig Simon Helberg though.  He's cool in my book.

But Wolowitz the cat?  Yeah...that's another story.  One that is rife with love and annoyance. Love, because, well...he's lovable.  But annoyance, because well...he's annoying. Sometimes.  Like when we decide to enjoy a beautiful late afternoon with a cocktail or two on the deck overlooking the harbor.  He wants to be out there with us, so he cries...like a little girl. Okay, cries might be a bit of a stretch.  But it sounds enough like crying to make us feel guilty.  So fuck that guy.

And he has this thing that he does when he wants attention.  He strolls up to Gia's work desk, jumps up and starts to scratch the cork board that she uses to organize her life.  He doesn't do it because it's fun.  No.  He does it because he knows it annoys us, and it will get us off our asses and over to him to brush his coat.  Because he likes that.  And hates us.  Or so it seems.

So yeah.  Wolowitz.  He's a dick, but we love him.

A little ska

I dunno, man...the events of the past 24 hours or so have my head spinnin'. Lots of political talk back and forth. Mostly one-sided, but we'll see how long that lasts. Politics always messes with my head.

Then again, I like my politics to be splashed with a little ska. Like when The Specials sang about Nelson Mandela. A different era and a different issue, of course. I'm just wondering how many wrongs can make it right again.  Maybe we'll never know.  Maybe it'll never be right again.  Was it ever right in the first place?

Ah, forget it...just dig the grooves, man.

The Rules

Somebody, somewheres on the Internets pointed my attention over to the Modern Drunkard Magazine website earlier this week.  And, of course, I loved it.  Finally a magazine for me!  Ahem...

It's actually a site/magazine that has recently been revived after a hiatus.  And one of the classic "bits" from several years ago was their 86 Rules of Boozing.  Go to that and check it out, but I'll share with you a couple of my favorites here:

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.

28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.

50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.

74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.

The other ones are almost as good.  Check, check, check...check it out!  Cheers!

________________________________________________________

In other news...Osama bin Laden.  Yeah...

New Episide tonight at 9PM EST - JTTTC

Let's do it to it people.  Here's The Colonel's weekly email notification:
_________________________________________________

Tonight's episode is one I'm looking forward to.  Earl will explain what exactly Bacon Infused Bourbon really is.  Why, because its two of my favorite things and because I wanna know!!    We will follow that up with a wrap-up of this weeks games and then a knock-down drag out argument over WAR, and how to interpret it. 

 

Below is the 'formal' Episode guide as written by Mr. Earl himself.

 

Hope to catch you on tonight!!

 

 

 

 

In a message dated 4/29/2011 7:41:03 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, Zantall@aol.com writes:

Title: EPISODE9 - WAR, Good God....what is it good for?

Episode Notes: Absolutely nothing! Say it again! This week, Earl and The Colonel discuss bacon-infused bourbon, advanced metrics like WAR (Wins Above Replacement), nominations for the Cornfield All-Star first basemen, a new feature called "Did you know?", and why Kirby Puckett may have been the worst all-time 1st ballot inductee into the Hall of Fame. He's dead now, by the way. So we'll feel even less guilty than usual when trashing his legacy. Not that it really would have stopped us.

 

Also, please take a moment to visit our website and sign up to get on our potentially disturbing mailing list.

 

http://talktothecornfield.webs.com/

 

Join us Sunday night at 9 using the following link

 

http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=95365&cmd=tc

 

Or as usual you can listen to the show on I-Tunes when its posted during the week:

 

 

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/just-talking-to-the-cornfield/id424603470

 

 

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Earl and The Colonel