Nov 1, 2011

Asshole Cat Part Duh

Remember when I told you about how much of an asshole this guy is?

He's only cute when he sleeps
Well, he has taken his morning routine of waking us up to entirely new levels lately.

You see, he used to just jump on us, meow, jump up by the window shade, rattle that, meow some more, knock some shit off the side table and then meow some more.

But Bootsy is the Terminator cat that is going to be the end of us all.  He's a learning asshole cat. He's actually figured out our technology.  And he's using it against us.

We have one of those iHome clock radios. You know the kind, it's got a dock to charge your iPhone or iPod on top.  Other than's pretty much a regular clock radio.  And Bootsy has figured out how to work it.

I'm serious.

He turns the radio on and off.  We adjust the volume lower, but he has figured out how to fix that issue too.  He also knows how to turn the alarm off and on. My favorite thing, and by that I mean my least favorite thing, is that he has learned how to set the alarm so that it goes off in 2 minutes.

I'm serious.

He sets the alarm for two minutes in the future.  I don't even know how to do that!  How the fuck has our cat figured out to set a fucking alarm?

He's such an asshole.


RW said...

Obviously a human in a past life.

sybil law said...

Cats are ridiculously cunning when they want something.
You need to get over that whole spray bottle issue. I would freaking kill our cats if they did that!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

The worst part is that cats don't have a snooze button! Ours starts her harassment around 6:30A - weekend or weekday, doesn't matter to her.

Slyde said...

you have a 'fucking' alarm?

hello haha narf said...

i needed to read this. ludo seems to really miss reilly so i was considering getting him a kitten. WAS thinking of it, but had a few reservations. adding this post to previous hesitations? fuck that shit. lou will just need to learn to be a single pet.

Unknown said...

Evil genius!

Verdant Earl said...

RW - An asshole human.

Sybil - We have contemplated the water bottle, but we are only going to go to that as a last resort. When we are at our wit's end. It can make certain cats skitchy, and we don't want that to happen.

ETW - Oh yeah, he's smart, but he still can't read a calendar. Sunday is the same as Wednesday to him.

Slyde - I try not to use it.

Becky - This is just minor complaining about an otherwise wonderful group of animals. I wouldn't trade our cat herd in for anything. Get a cat. You won't regret it.

Annabelle - He really is. the fucker.

hello haha narf said...

cats ignore repeated requests to have them stay the fuck off the table and counter tops. some cats pee places that are clearly NOT the damn litter box. some cats insist on scratching the couch. some cats don't get that the night is for sleeping, not running louder than an elephant around the damn house.
these things scare me.

p.s. how does an animal less than nine damn pounds manage to seriously sound like an elephant?

Verdant Earl said...

Becky - Most of those things are true. Our cats have never peed anywhere but the litter boxes, but the rest of the stuff is true. They like to jump on tables and counter tops. They scratch the furniture. They run around at night, sometimes emulating the moves of much larger animals. All true. But they are also really cute. That counts for a lot.

Avitable said...

Well, maybe you should just wake the fuck up, then, and stop sleeping so damn much, hm?

Verdant Earl said...

Adam - That's what the asshole cat is thinking, I guess. Fuck him. I wake up when I HAVE to wake up. Never before.