Oct 15, 2013

Day 15: Boggy Creek (2010)

Can a once-prolific blogger who hasn't written 31 posts all year find it in his soul to review 31 previously unseen horror films in 31 days of October? Let's find out...

When I was just a wee Earl, I remember seeing a flick in the theaters called The Legend of Boggy Creek. That mockumentary about the Bigfoot legend was made in 1972, but I saw it several years later on a Saturday afternoon as part of a double-feature with Day of the Animals or some such nonsense. I remember thinking that both were crap, yet I spent the rest of that summer totally scared shitless of Bigfoots...er, Bigfeets...er, gangs of roaming Bigfoots...FUCK! What's a herd of Bigfoots called? I'm thinking an Odor of Bigfoots. Yeah, let's go with that.

So it was with some joy and much sarcasm that I decided to watch Boggy Creek on Amazon Prime this evening. I'm hoping it has something to do with Bigfoot. Or an entire Odor of Bigfoots. Bring me back to my childhood and what-not. Or at least some boobs or something. (Spoiler: no boobs)

These two young women, who appear to live in the middle of nowhere, are off to vacation at this summer house in the middle of nowhere...that appears to be right down the road from the middle of nowhere where they just came from. And one of them invited her stupid family friend/dude who just decides that it's okay to bring his bitchy maybe-hooked-up-with-once girlfriend. AND she invites her asshole boyfriend (played by Texas Battle!!!). She's the worst friend ever!

Have I mentioned the top-notch production value and actin....HAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, I can't even get through that sentence. I've seen late-night infomercials with better production value AND acting. But that's not gonna dissuade me. I knew this was gonna be bad going in. I want to revel in it's awfulness. I want to bathe in it like a rutting pig in shit. What?

Gotta do it. So there's this scene where an, ahem, urban youth goes into the woods at night to take a shit. Of course he's gonna die at the hands of Bigfoot, but when he hears it he shakes his head and says "Probably just a small woodland animal." BWAH-HAHAHAHAHA!!! That alone is worth one pumpkin. Which, I'm sure, is where this turd is gonna wind up. If I'm lucky.

Let me see if I can wrap this movie up in six words: Horny Bigfoot Eats Hearts Like Apples. 

Nailed it!

There's a great Boggy Creek/Bigfoot movie out there. This one, tragically, isn't it. This movie is so bad, it should be in detention.

(This is gold, people. Gold!)

Verdant Dude rating: 1 out of 5 pumpkins

PS - I kinda loved this movie, in a weird way.


Waterlogged Canine said...

Odor of Bigfeet. Perfect.

Poppy said...

I truly appreciate you helping me to not waste my time! :)

Verdant Earl said...

But I kinda loved it!