Oct 2, 2013

Day 2: Kill Theory (2009)

Can a once-prolific blogger who hasn't written 31 posts all year find it in his soul to review 31 previously unseen horror films in 31 days of October? Let's find out...

Found this film on Amazon Prime as a part of the "After Dark Horrorfest/8 Films to Die For" series. Which has actually produced some pretty good horror flicks over it's four-year run. We'll have to see if Kill Theory is up to snuff, if ya know what I mean.

 It's your classic "Young Adults in a Cabin in the Woods Stalked by a Killer"tm formula. Or something like that. A bunch of soon-to-be-graduating college kids head off for a weekend to a summer house that one of the kids has. Three attractive couples and their fat friend, Freddy. Oops...the guy with house has a white-trash step-sister (played by Taryn Manning, duh!), who is also staying at the house for the weekend. So that makes eight little Indians for the killer to play with. Even numbers are just sooo much more pleasing to the palate when it comes to slasher flicks, don't you agree?

But there's a twist to the formula here. The killer, who killed his own friends back in the day before some time in the loony bin, is offering the sacrificial lambs a choice. Kill their friends or die with them. Using their fear against them in some sadistic game of death. Honestly, not bad as slasher flick twists go. Slasher flick twists. Try saying THAT five times fast. Now try it in your underwear. Now try it while eating some chocolate marshmallow ice cream. I'll wait.

Okay, maybe it's not such a great or original twist. At least not since the Saw franchise made about a bazillion dollars using it. At least I got you to say "slasher flick twists" in compromising situations.

What would you do? Seems simple enough. Stick together, don't panic, wait it out in some safe area with your back against the wall or something, or actively hunt the hunter. But panic sets in, especially for the fat friend Freddy, and all hell busts loose. The killer, for his part, stays calm and stays three steps ahead of the Scooby Gang (they even have a retro van!). Sowing enough dissent among the gang that they begin to turn on each other. One of the gang was especially easy to turn to the Dark Side. Then again, he looked like an asshole from the very beginning.

It's not high art, not even by slasher flick standards. But it's not half-bad either. No huge surprises, but nothing really to bitch at either.

Verdant Dude rating: 2.5 our of 5 pumpkins


Heff said...

Feel free to not stress yourself, and from time to time just post "This One's Good". Maybe a "Quality Nude Clip Alert" would be helpful as well. Just thinking out loud...

Verdant Earl said...

Heff - I was thinking about adding a boob rating as well. :)

Verdant Earl said...

By the way...this one has boobs. Not a lot, but it has 'em.

Poppy said...

Now we're talking! I can at least watch this one on Amazon Prime! Woohooooo!!!