Oct 17, 2014

17 of 31: Shallow Ground (2004)

A vain attempt by a formerly prolific blogger to review 31 new (to me) horror films in the 31 days of October. We did it last year and it was a gas. Can we do it once more? Let's find out.

Platform: Amazon Prime on Roku
Starring: No one I've ever heard of.

The opening sequence depicts a blood-soaked naked boy with a large knife walking through a forest with images of some kind of taxidermic (is that a word?) shit going on or something. That's some fucked up shit to be starting a movie with, if you ask me.

The boy wanders into a local sheriff's station in the middle of Nowhereville, USA. A town with a clearly Irish dude as the sheriff, because that happens. The station, along with the rest of the locals, are on their way onto greener pastures as some kind of local dam project has been completed. Maybe the valley will be flooded? I don't know. This movie doesn't lend itself to explanations very well. The kid then writes "NO ONE LEAVES" in blood on one of the doors. So that's not a good sign.

This kid is weird. And not just "wanders around naked covered in blood" weird. I'm talking weird. He can read minds, control the flow of his blood with his thoughts and he communes with spiders. I don't like this kid. And he could be the unseen killer who is stalking and killing folks in the nearby woods. Or maybe he isn't. That's just part of the confusing fun.

OK...time for me to fess up. I stopped watching this after about 25 minutes. My heart just wasn't in it tonight, kids. I may check back in sometime in the future, but I had to bail.


Verdant Dude Rating: I for Incomplete

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