28 of 31: Mine Games (2012)

A vain attempt by a formerly prolific blogger to review 31 new (to me) horror films in the 31 days of October. We did it last year and it was a gas. Can we do it once more? Let's find out.

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Platform: Netflix on Roku
Starring: Briana Evigan, Julianna Guill, Joseph Cross

I almost said "fuck it" tonight and watched A Cabin in the Woods again. For the 15th time or so. God, I love that movie. But no, I'm trudging on. And in honor of ACitW, I'm watching a "cabin in the woods" kinda flick. An Aussie/American flick called Mine Games from 2012. And it is both exactly what you think it is and nothing what you would expect at all. Intrigued? Nah...me neither.

A bunch of handsome kids head to a remote cabin in the woods for a little party time in their oh-so-sweet rape van. Three girls and four guys. The perfect "three couples and another dude" situation that all these films require. Might be one more couple than necessary, but let's not quibble. In a great series of genre tropes, we see vague warnings of recent murders in the paper, they run off the road briefly by someone flagging them down in the dark, they run out of gas and then someone suggests they split up to find the cabin. They don't actually do that, but you have to admire the gumption for someone to even suggest it.

They make serial killer jokes, one of the guys who seems a bit off forgets his meds, and then the lights go off. But there has to be a generator, right? Right. And then they hear someone outside. Loud noises and bumps that go thing in the night. You know, this is really beginning to feel like A Cabin in the Woods. All we need is a basement full of nerds to run the show. Or a mine shaft full of nerds. Maybe just a mine shaft. Yup...we've got that covered.

What happens next? Well, I believe the famed West Texan philosopher Rustin Cohle said it best. "Someone once told me, 'Time is a flat circle.' Everything we've ever done or will do, we're gonna do over and over and over again."

All right, all right, all right...
All right, all right, all right...
All right, all right, all right....
All right, all right, all right....
All right, all right, all right....
All...

Verdant Dude Rating: 2 out of 5 pumpkin ales