Mar 29, 2011

Mr. Steve

This past weekend, on the way to my sister's house for dinner and a rousing night of whiskey karaoke*, we stopped at our local coffee shop for a cuppa for the ride.  A Dunkin' Donuts shop, to be specific.  When I walked in, still kinda groggy from having taken an afternoon nap, I was confronted with this standing in front of the counter:

click to get the full horror
OK, so it's obviously some kind of dummy dressed up like the Easter Bunny or something.  But I didn't realize that right away.  I thought it was real, and it was the living embodiment of everything that creeps me the fuck out.  Specifically:
  • Creepy old people.
  • Creepy little people.
  • Creepy people dressed like creepy animals.
Bottom line, I almost had a heart attack.   And if you zoom in on the picture, you will see that IT has a name tag.  Mr. Steve.  Named after an old dude who hangs out at that particular Dunkiin' Donuts all the time, according to the guy behind the counter  He said that they really do look alike.  Like the dummy is a Mini-Me version of the real dude. 

And just when I'm starting to calm down from my initial scare, I turn around and the real Mr. Steve was standing behind me.  Grinning like a fool.  He walked out before I could take a picture of them together, but I assure you...HE exists.  And he was nearly as horrifying as his effigy.  Nearly.

I haven't slept in three days.

*We drink whiskey and sing karaoke.  Simple as that.


RW said...

Odd, it looks like an uncle of mine.

Mrs. Hall said...

don't look now but I think he's standing behind you right now!


but. in all seriousness, during whiskey karaoke, where you drink whiskey and sing karaoke, you must sing that one song that goes like this . . .

"cigereetes and whiskey and fine, fine women . . . they'll drive you crazy . . . they'll drive you insane"

that's awesome.

Mrs. Hall said...


Paticus said...

It's kinda extra creepy that his hands are covered up.What's he got under there? I don't think we wanna know.
On another note, did you pick me up some munchkins(jelly & chocolate)?

Slyde said...


i hate to break it to you, but that was just a mirror...

badgerdaddy said...

I can save you some time here - why not combine the two words into one exciting, sexy new word? Whiskeyoke! My marketing fees are surprisingly reasonable. I still can't believe QVC didn't use my line ofr clothing for the larger lady: "Flatter the fatter". Their loss.

Unknown said...

Sweet bejeezus, that is the creepiest thing I've seen in a long damn time.

I think I'm a little mad at you for sharing that shit without a disclaimer.

really. for fucks sake, that is disturbing.

sybil law said...

Ew, ew, ewwww.
We have similar tastes in what creeps us out!
I'm guessing they don't want any kids in that store.

Verdant Earl said...

RW - Never EVER invite me to a family function, okay?

Holly - dunno that song. Will check it out.

Paticus - I'm sure there are small knives and scalpels in his hidden hands.

Slyde - I know you are, but what am I?

badger - Brilliant! Your fee will be forthcoming in the post shortly.

Annabelle - Maybe a disclaimer was in order. But what fun is that? ;)

Sybil - Oooh, and that thing is right at kid level too. Nightmares...