Overheard

Last night in our abode. I'm in the kitchen preparing dinner while Gia is reading in the living room with some crap celebrity gossip/news show playing in the background on the TV.

___________________________________________________________

TV: Coming up: Are the pregnancy rumors with Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux for real this time?
Me: I thought that guy was with Drew Barrymore?
Gia: No...Drew Barrymore is married to someone or other.
Me: Wasn't she with him for a while though?
Gia: I have no idea.
Me: Doesn't matter. Justin Theroux could walk past me in the kitchen right now and I would have no idea who he is or what he has done.

___________________________________________________________

TV: Coming up: A new reality show featuring primordial dwarfs.
Gia: Ooooh....primordial dwarfs!
Me: Primordial dwarfs. Always fun.

Exciting, eh? Go back to what you were doing.  Nothing to see here.

In Spite of Ourselves

After all theses years (it will be 6 years next week!), Gia and I have finally found our song. Should I capitalize the OUR in that phrase? I dunno. We've had songs that we've connected with before. "Romeo and Juliet" by Dire Straits. "Please Call Me Baby" by Tom Waits. Stuff like that. But those songs, awesome as they are, are about doomed/twisted relationships that don't really work out.  Not so with this one.

And what's really interesting is that we both found it separately within about three months of each other. I heard it first one day while working with Pandora playing in the background. Several times a day, I will lift my head from my laptop and spreadsheets and stop to listen to a song that might not be new but is new to me. "In Spite of Ourselves" by John Prine with Iris DeMent was one of those songs. I'll then jot the song and artist down on a e-stickynote I keep open in the background. Usually to either share with Gia, buy on iTunes or post on this here space sometime in the future.

Then Gia was watching this movie with Billy Bob Thornton called Daddy and Them. A labor of love for the man who wrote and directed the film. He got his friend John Prine to take a supporting role in the film. And he got him to write a song for the film as well. This one. Prine talks about that a bit at the beginning of the video below.

So she purchased the song on iTunes and one late afternoon while we were enjoying a Summer Ramble, it popped on. I immediately started singing along. She was a bit confused because she thought she was going to introduce me to my new favorite song. I was confused because I had thought I had introduced it to her months ago. I'm still not sure that I hadn't. Maybe I did, but she didn't really "hear" it until she watched that film. Hard to say. Doesn't really matter because we proceeded to listen to it 5 or 6 times in a row that evening. And we fell in love with it and each other all over again. Music can be incredibly powerful that way.

This song makes us ridiculously happy. Because it's a ridiculously happy song. And because we found it separately yet for each other at the same time. Or something like that.

Enjoy!

Weekend Bullets

I haven't been doing a lot to keep you up-to-date on the ins and outs that make my life so spectacular. Or the boring details of every day life might be more apropos. I'll let you decide with some sexy bullet points. So let's have at 'em!

• We've been watching the appropriate amount of the XXX (hehehe) Summer Olympics these past two weeks. What's appropriate? How the hell should I know what's appropriate for you? What's appropriate for us is very, very little. In primetime anyway. I work from home so I'll have the Olympics on during the day with the sound down. But it's usually water polo or handball or platform diving or some other sport I don't really give a crap about. Can you name the five events in the Modern Pentathlon? Liar!
• I am going to watch a bit of the closing ceremonies on Sunday night. Just to see The Who perform. Not The Spice Girls. Seriously. Zig-a-zig-aah! UPDATE: OK, I watched just about all of the closing ceremonies. I'm a sucker for lip-synching.
• We've actually been watching a lot of HBO lately. A LOT OF HBO. I signed up with the idea that we were going to drop it as soon as we finished Season 2 of A Game of Thrones, but the content available on HBO GO is amazing and we may keep it for a while. We've caught up on Season 3 of East Bound and Down (amazing) and we are well into the second/last season of Rome (also amazing). With every episode of every season the majority of their shows like The Wire, Deadwood, Carnivale, Tru Blood, Treme, etc... available, well...we might keep our HBO subscription for a few months. If it weren't for HBO GO, we'd shit-can it right now. But that service is pretty damned amazing. Even if the interface for our Roku player sucks. Did I use the word "amazing" enough in that bullet? #overkill
• Egg salad made with Trader Joe's Wasabi Mayo is fucking incredible! I was going to say it was fucking amazing, but that last bullet put me over my amazing limit. Now I'm seriously over. Crap. But the egg salad? Amazing!
• We had the worst ribs of all-time over the weekend. My fault. I purchased some ribs already vacuum-packed in a dry rub at a local supermarket, figuring they would be decent. They were far from it. Tough and fatty...pretty much the worst combination every any BBQ. I shan't make the same mistake twice. 
• Went to go see The Dark Knight Rises on Saturday. I really enjoyed it. I thought it was the perfect final chapter in the trilogy. Leaning heavily on the events of both the first two films instead of a direct sequel to the second alone. Christopher Nolan, Christian Bale, Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman and Marion Cotillard all brought their A games. Very well done Batman flick all-in-all. Very well done.
• Went to see it at an IMAX theater in a large shopping center/outlet mall, and when we got out there was a live performance of a band called Boys Like Girls going on in the large outdoor center portion of the outlet. We had no idea who they were. In fact, the only we we did know who they were is because my buddy asked a female security guard "Who the fuck are these guys?" She laughed before letting us know. There were hundred and hundreds of people in the audience singing along to every word of each song (or the two we heard). I have no words. This is music? I don't get it.
• Spent most of the day on Sunday at the beach. We have a lovely little beach about 3 minutes from our home and it was a really perfect day. Mostly sunny with some clouds and a nice breeze to cool us off. I, of course, spent most of the time under a large beach umbrella covered with SPF 9000. I'm a delicate flower. Afterward, we headed out to a local joint for some fresh seafood appetizers, summer salads, bbq pulled pork sandwiches and ice-cold beers. Pretty much the perfect Sunday, if you ask me. 

So, what have you been up to?

Happy Birthday, Wade Garrett*

Sam Elliott turns 68 today. To celebrate, The Washington Post dug up this sexy picture of him from a 1976 issue of Teen Beat. Yeah...Teen Beat.

Source: The Washington Post

That tank top is probably enough to make you want to start drinking right away today. Or if you want to wait, you can start in during our very special Booze episode live in the Cornfield tonight at 9PM EDT. You know you wanna...

*I just read an article on pro-wrestler Kevin Nash. Back when he was in his Big Sexy phase, his hair was turning grey so he grew it long so he could wear it like Wade Garrett in Roadhouse. Yup. If you listen to our radio show at all, you will know why I think that's cool.

We are talking booze

Well, when aren't I talking booze, amirite?

But this time I mean we are hi-jacking our weekly baseball program, Just Talking to the Cornfield, to specifically discuss (and imbibe) booze. And, since it's a "very special episode" we decided to move it to a very special day and time. We will be going live at 9PM EDT this Thursday night. So you've got a few days to prepare your liver. Especially for those of you who consider Thursday night to be the beginning of the weekend. And for those of you on the left coast, the start of the show should coincide with Happy Hour. So join us and drink up! And we'll probably go on for a couple of hours, so join us mid-show if you can't handle the start time.

What, specifically, are we going to discuss? Um...wine, beer, liquor.  Maybe some interesting and/or embarrassing stories that involve wine, beer and liquor. I'm hoping this one will bring some of the chat-room attendees out of their shells for one evening and join us on the call.

So pop open that bottle of expensive booze that you've been saving for a special evening and join us for a night of libations in the Cornfield.  Because what's more special than that?

(Don't answer that last question)

Hell Broke Luce

New Tom Waits video of his song "Hell Broke Luce" hit the internetz today.

That is all.

"Hell Broke Luce"

by Tom Waits

I had a good home but I left
I had a good home but I left, right, left
That big fucking bomb made me deaf, deaf
A Humvee mechanic put his Kevlar on wrong
I guarantee you’ll meet up with a suicide bomb
Hell broke luce
Hell broke luce

Big fucking ditches in the middle of the road
You pay a hundred dollars just for fillin’ in the hole
Listen to the general every goddamn word
How many ways can you polish up a turd
Left, right, left, left, right
Left, right
Hell broke luce
Hell broke luce
Hell broke luce

How is it that the only ones responsible for making this mess
Got their sorry asses stapled to a goddamn desk
Hell broke luce
Hell broke luce
Left, right, left

What did you do before the war?
I was a chef, I was a chef
What was your name?
It was Geoff, Geoff
I lost my buddy and I wept, wept
I come down from the meth
So I slept, slept
I had a good home but I left, left
Pantsed at the wind for a joke
I pranced right in with the dope
Glanced at her shin she said nope
Left, right, left

Nimrod Bodfish have you any wool
Get me another body bag the body bag’s full
My face was scorched, scorched
I miss my home I miss my porch, porch
Left, right, left

Can I go home in March? March
My stanch was a chin full of soap
That rancid dinner with the pope
Left, right, left

Kelly Presutto got his thumbs blown off
Sergio’s developing a real bad cough
Sergio’s developing a real bad cough
Hell broke luce
Hell broke luce
Hell broke luce

Boom went his head away
And boom went Valerie
What the hell was it that the president said?
Give him a beautiful parade instead
Left, right, left

When I was over here I never got to vote
I left my arm in my coat
My mom she died and never wrote
We sat by the fire and ate a goat
Just before he died he had a toke
Now I’m home and I’m blind
And I’m broke
What is next

The Greatest

Once I wanted to be the greatest

No wind or waterfall could stall me

And then came the rush of the flood

The stars at night turned deep to dust

 - Cat Power

That quote has nothing to do with this post. I just dig the song and the artist, so there ya go. Nope, I'm talking the greatest movie of all-time! Sorry, let me repeat....THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL-TIME!!! And genuflect when you read that if you will, dear readers. No, I'm not talking about Roadhouse, although it is a perfect film (except or Patrick Swayze's silly dancing martial arts kicks). I'm talking about the new king on Sight and Sound's annual survey of critics, academics and distributors. And for the first time in 50 years, it isn't Citizen Kane.

1. Vertigo (1958, Alfred Hitchcock) - I'm a fan of Hitchcock. Not a die-hard fan, but I generally enjoy his films. Mostly because I generally enjoy suspense, and Hitchcock loved him some suspense. It might not be my favorite Hitchcock film, that's probably North by Northwest, Rear Window or Dial M for Murder, but Vertigo is a fantastic film. Certainly deserving of the top spot on many critic's lists.
2. Citizen Kane (1941, Orson Welles) - Or Second-Citizen Kane, amirite? Feh. So I remember the first time I saw this film. It was in a High School film class in 10th grade. After the credits rolled, our teacher jokingly asked the class what Rosebud was. I wasn't quick to answer simpleton questions, so I looked around the class and saw 25 or so completely blank faces. The teacher started to look worried, so he asked again. Finally, I raised my hand and answered the question. At which point he started to freak out that so many kids couldn't answer the most obvious question about something that they had seen 5 minutes previously. I hate people.
3. Tokyo Story (1953, Ozu Yasujiro) - I love foreign films. Even more specifically, I love Japanese cinema. But I have to admit that this film never came close to making it onto my radar. Probably because my Japanese cinema phase came in my early 20's, and I wasn't really into dramas about family and loss back then. I'm still not really into those kind of films, so it may be a while before I check this one out.
4. La Règle du jeu (1939, Jean Renoir) - I've seen several Renoir films, and I honestly couldn't tell you if this was one of them. I just wasn't into French cinema from that period. I dig the current Horror flicks coming out of France, but that's because I'm a child. So there.
5. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927, F.W. Murnau) - Going back to me being a child, how does one select a Murnau flick and it isn't Nosferatu? I'm beginning to think this list sucks balls.
6. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968, Stanley Kubrick) - OK, I get it. I understand why so many people would pick this film over so many other masterpieces that Kubrick produced. It was ground-breaking and it actually still holds up pretty well as a science-fiction piece. And of all of his films, it probably is his greatest technical achievement. But is it as good as Dr. Strangelove or A Clockwork Orange? I dunno about that.
7. The Searchers (1956, John Ford) - Here is one that would probably be a bit higher on my personal list, but I ain't complaining. John Ford's greatest film and John Wayne's greatest performance. How could you go wrong with that? Maybe I'm just a silly fan of Westerns and John Ford, but for me it doesn't get any better than this.
8. Man with a Movie Camera (1929, Dziga Vertov) - Honestly, I've never heard of this film before. Never. Ever. I have absolutely nothing to say about it. Moving on.
9. The Passion of Joan of Arc (1927, Carl Dreyer) - What's with all of these films from the 1920's? I call bullshit. I'm sorry. Sure, I'd love to see me some baseball from the 1920's, but cinema? Not my bag, man. Not my bag at all.
10. 8 1/2 (1963, Federico Fellini) - Here's a little Verdant Dude trivia for ya. For the longest time, probably until 1 minute ago, I thought the dude's first name was Fredirico. Ahem. So yeah, this was a good one. I think I've realized the greatness of just about every Fellini film I've ever seen. Satryicon freaked me out a little, but then again I think it was supposed to do just that. So I get why it's on this list. It just wouldn't be on MY list.

So there you have it. 10 films, of which I've seen 5. Maybe 6. I'm just not sure about that Renoir flick. And here's the thing. I don't really want to see any of the films I haven't seen yet. I think this list is way too snooty by wide mile. In the wake of the release of this new list, a bunch of elite filmmakers were also asked to submit their Top 10. Directors like Woody Allen and Martin Scorcese and Francis Ford Coppola. You can see all those lists here. And many of them are as snooty as the list above. Not all, but many.

My two favorite lists in that article? South Korean director Boon Joon-Ho and Quentin Tarantino.  Their lists, while they wouldn't match mine, are at least reflective of my tastes. Sean Durkin, Edgar Wright and David O. Russell have some fun lists as well. I was going to say Michael Mann too, but he picked Avatar and that calls for immediate ridicule. Great achievement? Sure. Great film? I don't think so.

Electronic Mail

I've had dozens of email accounts over the years. Mostly different ones through work as the company I worked for was sold several times and our name kept changing. And I've tried maybe a dozen different personal email services. I still have 5-6, I think. But as of right now I only use two on a regular basis.

My first personal email account is the one I still use for my semi-anonymous internet presence. And it was one of the only ways most of us could get an email account back in the early 90's. America Online. Yup...I still have and use my original AOL account. It's referenced in the profile of this here blog, in fact. It's such a stupid address too. BabyBurke at AOL dot com. Why BabyBurke? Well, I was reading a book by Andrew Vachss at the time I was signing up for AOL, and the main character was named Burke. Just Burke. No first name. But AOL wouldn't let me just use Burke since it was in use already, so I had to expand it a bit.

I didn't know about alpha-numeric naming conventions back then, so I went back to the book and the only other name he was ever given was back at the orphanage when he was born. Baby Boy Burke. Too long for AOL back then. So it was shortened to BabyBurke. Even though my name is neither Burke nor Baby. Whatever. It suits it's purpose. It keeps me semi-anonymous (except for those lucky few I let into the inner circle) on Twitter, Blogger, fantasy baseball sites, etc..., and it lets others on the internet make fun of me for still having an AOL account. Fuck it. It was my first personal email address, and it ain't going anywhere soon.

The other "personal" email account I use is Yahoo! Another site/address that most people think is as outdated as AOL. But I've been using this as my daily email account for about 16 years now. And, since I work for myself now, I also use it for work. Mostly because it is my name and it houses my extensive contact list which was created and maintained there. I know it's incredibly easy to import those contacts elsewhere, but honestly I've never had an issue with Yahoo! Mail in the past, so why mess with a good thing.

Until today, that is. I guess Microsoft purchased Yahoo! a while back (I'm guessing here...I don't really follow tech news like that). And today was supposed to be the rollout of the new design. But it hasn't worked out very well for them yet. First I starting receiving messages on my phone that my Yahoo! Mail couldn't be accessed. Then I checked on my laptop and there was a new T&S agreement for the new site. Except that T&S agreement was stuck in an infinite loop or something. Just kept asking for you to agree over and over and over. When they finally "fixed" it, they basically had scrapped the new design and went back to the previous one. I'm sure they will fix it for real at some point later today. Maybe overnight, eh kids?

The outage only lasted about 45 minutes, and I was having lunch at the time so it was no big loss. And I'm not really considering switching platforms unless the new design really sucks...always a possibility. I do have a Gmail account, but I don't really use it. Except...hehehe...on my business cards. It just seems more professional than a Yahoo! address, I guess. But functionality-wise? I don't see any real difference.

So here I remain, stubbornly. With a ridiculous AOL account and a slighly-less ridiculous Yahoo! account. They both serve their purpose. Even if it means that some of you might look down your nose at them. So go ahead and form you opinions of me when you receive an email from me with either an AOL or Yahoo extension. Maybe I'm a tech-tard. Maybe I'm rockin' my Members Only jacket and parachute pants and listening to my Walkman. Or maybe it's just a habit that I never bothered changing because it's not that important to me. I really don't care.

Flip Feed

Lately, I've been ignoring my feed reader on my laptop. I use Google Reader, as many of you do, to keep in touch with all y'all* and for the many, many, many baseball sites I follow. But now I only check in on my feed reader on my PC during small breaks while I'm working. Mostly because I've become addicted to my smaller Android devices. My phone and my Kindle Fire. And I now use those for most of my feed reading fun.

*A very lovely Southern woman with great tig ole bitties once told me that the plural to "y'all" is "all y'all". Makes no sense to me, but I learned a long time ago never to argue with breasts.

At first I was using my web browser on each device to access Google Reader and Twitter. That was dumb. Mostly because the web browsers that come standard on those devices suck. I now have Firefox on my phone, and it's great. Syncs to the Firefox browser on my laptop with shared history and bookmarks. It's wonderful. But the standard Android web browsers? Yeah...they suck. Then I downloaded the apps for Google Reader and Twitter on each device. Much better. The Google Reader app on the Kindle Fire is actually a little better than the one available on my phone. If a mobile feed is available, I can tap a truncated post and it opens up the mobile feed in the same app. Going to the next feed item is as simple as swiping. If I want to open up either the mobile or full feed on a truncated post on my phone, it automatically opens up the browser (now Firefox) to the full post. A tad clunky, and maybe there is a way for me to correct that. I dunno.

But I rarely use those apps anymore either. Now I'm all into Flipboard on my phone. It bills itself as your social magazine, and upon setup it basically is just that. But you can also integrate your feed reader, Twitter and other social media like Facebook and Instagram into it. Instagram is particularly cool on Flipboard. On the regular app, on either Android or iOS, there is no way I've seen to "blow up" the pictures so that you can zoom in on some smaller detail. On Flipboard, you simply tap the picture and it opens up for you to play with as you will. Very cool. The integrated Google Reader shows all feeds truncated initially, but you simply tap it to slide open to the full post. Slide back to the feed stream when you are done. You can also tap on the full post to open it up in your web browser if you so desire. Then hit the back button to go right back to Flipboard. It's all integrated very nicely, in my opinion. I haven't really found anything about Flipboard that I don't like yet, in fact.

I'm still learning about it, and there are a few bugs that still need to be worked out with the Android version. It was initially developed for the iPhone and iPad. I forget which one right now, but on either Twitter or Instagram the reply feature isn't working properly. Again...I could just be doing something wrong. I'm still learning.

Anyone else out there flipping out for Flipboard?

UPDATE: Flipboard was in Beta when I signed up for it on my phone. It wasn't available for the Kindle Fire at that point. I just checked and it is available there as well. Did a quick download, signed in and bam...now I'm all set up there as well. Very cool. 

Game of ME

With the emphasis on ME!

I've been told, for too fucking long actually, by my buddy Slyde that I would love Game of Thrones. Or, actually, A Song of Fire and Ice. I think the name HBO chose for the series, which is the title of the first book, is actually a better name for the entire series. So I'm not upset that HBO made that decision. Anyway, I started reading the books a couple of months ago. I'm now on the last available book, and I'm a little pissed that I have to wait several years for the remaining two novels.

Anyway.

Last night, I convinced Gia to watch the first episode of the HBO series. Because I love it and I believed that she would also. She didn't disappoint. Or it didn't disappoint. Either way, she loved it. And I'm enjoying it even more the second time around.

We actually watched two episodes, and she is all in. Peter Dinklage is amazing, of course. But so is the rest of the cast. Now we are going to burn through the rest of Season 1 and then burn through Season 2 as soon as it becomes available thru streaming.

So I win again.

As usual. Hehehehehe!

The One Who Knocks

Not Death, but I could see how fans of Monty Python could make that mistake.

No, I'm talking about everyone's favorite meth cooker/dealer, Walter White. The dude can wear a nose bandage and a porkpie hat like no one's business.  And he's back! Or, more specifically, Breaking Bad is back.

We watched the final season (actually to be split in two half-seasons) premiere last night, and shit got real right away. I can't wait to see how Walter White's transformation from "Mr. Chips to Scarface"* is completed.  This is the first season that I am watching in real time, so I'm a bit bummed that I can just watch all of the remaining episodes in one long mind-fuck of a marathon. But I'll take the awesome one week at a time.

There is a great discussion about the show over on one of the baseball blogs that I read here. Warning...the post and the comments contain many spoilers. So don't click on that if you don't wanna know yet. But basically the author of the post admits to having seen a few scenes of the show here and there, but nothing incredible enough to devout 40+ hours of his life catching up on it. About 2/3 of the way down in the comments section, he gives in to his readers and orders the first season to give it a try. I don't know why he had to order it. Just about everyone has a Netflix subscription nowadays and the first 4 season are available on Instant. But hopefully we have a new convert to the Breaking Bad Church of the Desperate.

I'm thinking about trademarking that church idea.  Donations can be forwarded directly to me.

The video below is mildly spoiler-ish, but oh-so-delicious!  Probably the best scene from the show so far from Season 4.  The 12-seconds of silence at the end as the crippling realization of what her husband has become hits Skyler in the gut is amazing.

*That's show-runner Vince Gilligan's description of Walter White's character arc.

Don't Wake the Snake!

Thanks to a particularly evil friend of mine, this became the anthem for our recent vacation. Not because any of us were wearing tight pants. Nope...just because it's soooo groovy!

You drinking my sake, kemosabe?

Vacation Photo Roundup

Was down in Charleston, SC last week with some great friends visiting some great family. We had a blast. We actually ran out of days as we tried to hit all the great food joints we know about down there. Next time for The Tattooed Moose and The Wreck of the Richard & Charlene. Next time.

Here's how the trip went in photo form. If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter, you may have already seen a few of these. All photos were taken by me or our friends.

A delicious spread of noshes prepared by our lovely hostess

Layla with a single Hulk hand. HULK HANDS!!!

Donnie drinking the water. Check out that tongue!

A view of the Folly Beach Pier from my barstool

A flight of pineapple tequila at Taco Boy in Folly Beach

Me and my drinking buddy in downtown Chuck

Very cool house down an alley South of Broad

St. Phillips via my wet dog buddy

Yours truly with a water to beat the heat

It was a hair-raising trip

The new courtyard at the Hominy Grill

A canal running through I'On Village in Mt. Pleasant

Live oak with Spanish moss

The duality that is Richard's Bar & Grill

Not a Drag

Last Tuesday night was the 35th Annual Paper Bag. I've written about it the past few years, so you can read about it here or on the website. But basically, it's a large group of local musicians who get together once a year to put on a ridiculously fun show. My Gia has been a part of it for the past decade or so as one of the singers. This year she blew the doors off of Adele's "Rolling in the Deep", jumped in at the last moment to handle the solo on Madonna's "Material Girl" (the theme for the Bag this year was The Money Bag) and did an impromptu rendition of Jimi Hendrix' "Purple Haze" toward the end of the evening. She's a fucking rock star!

The show goes from 10PM until 4AM, but we usually leave after her singing duties are over. Besides the occasional solo, she also sings back-up numerous times during the evening. When the singer of "Material Girl" had to duck out early, we checked the schedule and saw that she wouldn't be hitting the stage until around 3AM. At that point we said "fuck it!" and decided to stay until the bitter end. And we were so glad we did. The last scheduled song of the evening/morning was Zappa's "Dancing Fool", but afterward they spin the wheel for some random tunes to end the show. One of those was the aforementioned "Purple Haze". Lots of fun. 

Then for the very end of the show, the host and founder of the gig invites anyone still remaining up onto the stage for a sing-along. They do that every year, but this is the first time we have stayed until the end. Very, very cool.

We headed across the street for some much needed breakfast and found ourselves battling the morning sun on the way home. Wednesday was a completely lost day as we slept and ate and slept and slept some more. They do suggest you take the next day off, so I was only following orders.

This was my 6th Bag and my favorite one of all. I can't wait for next year!

Our Founder, Guido. You can't see 'em, but there are about 70 musicians on stage to his left.

Gia showering the crowd with love and stars during "Rolling in the Deep".

The Dude and The Stranger? "Got any sasparilla?"

A night for stars.

Chorizo and Eggs (again)

I wrote about this a while ago, but if you need a refresher you can read about my fascination with Midnight Run and the "chorizo and eggs" scene here.

OR, you could skip to the 2:00 mark on the video below to watch it in all it's glory. You really should watch the entire film if you haven't already. One of my favorite films of all time. But the "chorizo and eggs" bit ends at around the 3:30 mark on the video. So it's only a minute and a half out of your life. Watch it.

Anyway, this past Saturday we woke up a bit early for some reason. Instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, we decided we were hungry. So we went out to the local diner/pancake house for breakfast.

And what was the special of the day? You got it. Chorizo and eggs. Served with potato pancakes to boot!

Best.
Breakfast.
Ever!

Not easy being green

I love this song by LCD Soundsystem.

I love the video even more. Wow!

Nice digs

I want an island.

Oracle Corp. CEO Larry Ellison is buying a Hawaiian Island, Lanai to be precise.  Well, he's buying around 98% of the island. Not sure how that works exactly, but then I'm not a super-duper ka-billionaire. If reports are correct, he's purchasing the island with cash. No need to get into debt to purchase your dream island if you have $600 million or so burning a hole in your pocket, amirite?

Listen, I don't need a 141 square-mile island with nearly 50 miles of lush coastlines in a tropical setting. I want that, but I don't need it.

I'd be perfectly happy with a couple of two three acres someplace where it doesn't snow in the winter and isn't abysmally hot in the summer. Someplace within an hour or so of a decent-sized city in case I crave the nightlife after several months of living like a hermit crab. Someplace with a liquor store nearby that delivers, or at least accessible to a FedEx delivery truck. Someplace where we can sun-bathe in the nude without scaring or impressing the neighbors. Someplace that won't find itself 20 feet underwater when Hurricane Mathilda hits. Someplace that will fill my days with fishing, beach-combing and smiles and my nights with passion, booze and sweet dreams of doing it all over again the next day.

Is that too much to ask?

Enjoy your island, Larry.

Dick!

In Memoriam

Click here and/or here

30-Second Spot

Dammit if advertisers have finally found a way to get me to watch a commercial after all these years.

I rarely watch live television.  All of our TV show watching is done through the DVR, so we can eagerly fast-forward through the ads. Just about the only live television I watch is baseball. And when I watch baseball, I'm usually doing something else at the same time like working or surfing the internet. So when the inning is over, I bury my head in my laptop until the game comes back on. Easy, peasy.

Commercials, for a long time now, have had zero effect on my life.

Except for those on the Internet. You know the ones I'm talking about.  You see an interesting link that contains an embedded video of something or other and you hurry over to watch it. Except your entertaining video doesn't start for 5 or 10 or even 15 seconds because an ad has to play first. I fucking hate that.

Sure, ads on videos on the Internet have been going on for a long time now. But many (I would say most) of them gave the viewer of opting out of watching it with a little "x" in the upper right hand corner or a link that offered "Proceed directly to video".  Something like that. Then they began appearing with a little countdown clock. "Skip advertisement in 10, 9, 8...". More annoying, but at least I could appease my anger god by watching that little countdown clock reach zero.

Now it seems that most of the advertisements don't even offer the viewer the chance to skip it.  Immediately or with a countdown clock. AND it seems like the ads are getting longer and longer.  The other day I went to a video on MLB.com to see a replay of something that happened in a game. The replay was 22 seconds of digital video. I had to sit through a 30-second advertisement before I could watch that 22-second clip.

I. Wanted. To. Kill. Someone.

I know, I know...I could have just skipped the video altogether and not watched the stupid commercial. But the instantaneous nature of the Internet allows us to go see something exactly when we want to see it. Our brains, my brain at least, isn't prepared for a 30-second advertisement beforehand. I just don't know how to process it. It's a short enough time-span that I'm really not going to get up and do something else. I don't have time to take a piss or grab an ice-cold one from the fridge. I'm not going to jump to another site quickly to check something out in the meantime. I went to that first site at that moment because I wanted the Internet to entertain me IN THAT MOMENT!

So I sit there, blood boiling, and I watch the damned commercial. After all this time, they finally figured me out. I fucking hate that I'm such an easy mark.

Oh, here's something fun. New Era Caps and Major League Baseball are doing this wonderful commercial series with Craig Robinson from The Office and Nick Offerman from Parks and Recreation. It's a North Side/South Side Chicago rivalry thing between the Cubs and White Sox. Great commercials (dammit!).  I hadn't seen the newest one yet, but it hit the Web today. So I went over to Funny or Die to watch it.  Yup...to watch a commercial.

And I had to sit through a 17-second advertisement before I could watch it.

Welcome to my Hell.

Chicago vs. Chicago: Round 3 from Nick Offerman

You're a handsome devil. What's your name?

Went searching for a old blog post of mine yesterday, and I realized I used to write sooo much more back in the day than I do now. Not just the frequency of my postings, but the actual content within each post. I had this whole process back then. I would keep a list of blog ideas on a virtual sticky note on my laptop. Anytime I saw something or heard something or thought of something during the day while I was working, I would jot down a note. The list was extensive at times. Then I would sit down about an hour before heading to bed and peruse the list for a blog post for that night. And I would just write. Without even really thinking about it.

My current process is a little different, to say the least. My sticky note of blog ideas is pretty much empty because I stopped updating it a year or so ago. I think about posting something and I realize that I don't have much on my mind. Then I throw up a Youtube video or something else quick just because I'm feeling guilty about letting this old blog die a quiet death.

I've read other bloggers complain about similar dry spells in the past. Sometimes they will even go so far as to proclaim a quantum shift in the blogging paradigm. Twitter and Facebook have made blogs obsolete, blah, blah, blah... I'm not sure I'm buying it. I think we, bloggers, tend to take our own personal attitude toward blogging and make some sort of  "it's not me, it's us" proclamation. As if it's the very idea of blogging that has changed rather than the individual blogger itself.

It might all be true, but I really have no way of knowing that. I'm just a lone blogger who rarely ventures outside of my own blogging circle. I have NO IDEA what is really happening in the greater blogosphere because my community is so small. I haven't updated my feed reader with any new blogs in this side of forever. Well, I'm constantly updating it with baseball stuff. But that's not what I meant. Personal blogs.

And yes...some people are blogging far less than they used to. Myself included. Shit happens. Then there are others who keep on keeping on.  Much respect and love to those cats.

I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I still enjoy the time I spend jotting down what's going on in my brain onto this here blog. And I am in a bit of a rut, but I don't think it's permanent. Gonna try to kick-start the inner daily blogger in me and see if I can get it going again. We shall see. I'm making no promises here.

But I'll be here. Hopefully bringing the suck a little bit more often. Hehehe.

Home

There's a dude out there named Alex Ebert. And things weren't going so well for old Alex. He broke up with his girlfriend, moved out of his house that he shared with his best friend and entered one of those 12-step programs to deal with addiction. Not sure what kind of addiction it was, but he wasn't in a good place.

Then he started to write a novel about a messiah figure named Edward Sharpe. Sharpe was brought to earth to heal and save, but he wound up being tempted by earthly pleasures...women. As they do. It was all so distracting.

But that was Edward, and this was Alex we were talking about. Or maybe they are one and the same. Edward/Alex met a singer named Jade Castrinos in Los Angeles, and then they and a bunch of musicians started touring around the country in a big old bus as Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

It's all quite the trip.

You get the feeling that Chuck Manson might dig this Edward Sharpe character. Or vice versa. Manson wanted to be a musician first before he became a crazy person. Or maybe when he was already a crazy person. It's hard to put a timeline on these kind of things. Sanity...ya know.

Let's just hope history doesn't repeat itself.

Bullets Over Tuesday

Just because. Just for scuzz. If you follow me on Twitter, some of these items may be repeats. Sue me.

• Went out of my comfort zone and made something that I had never heard of much less made before on Monday night. Gia had a hankerin'* for steak, and a hankerin' for steak in a beurre rouge sauce in particular. I've got high school level French going on, so I knew that beurre = butter and rouge = red, but that's about all I knew, besides the hunk o' meat that is. Turns out it's a steak in a red wine/shallot reduction with butter. A LOT of butter. This is not something for the faint of heart. But it is oh-so-fucking-delicious. It ain't going on the regular weekly rotation, but maybe once a month or so... We shall see. 

The sauce was a creamy, dark pink and the meat was slightly above medium. Delish!

•  I saw today that Katy Perry has a concert video coming out. My first reaction was that I couldn't care any less. Then I saw that it was in 3-D and I suddenly became more interested. I'm still not gonna see it, but I'm definitely...interested.

click for the jiggle

•  We just finished this season of Mad Men. That show is freakin' amazing and I don't care if you agree or disagree with me. I just love it. Now we have a month or so until the final season of Breaking Bad begins. Or ends. Sniff. I don't think I could enjoy TV as much as the dramas that AMC and FX are producing. Amazing stuff.

• Speaking of well-made television, I finally saw Season One of Game of Thrones a few weeks ago. Watched it over one weekend. I had just finished the first book in the series, so I immediately wanted to see what HBO did with it. It didn't disappoint. I'm reading Book Two right now, and I understand the second season has just ended. Excellent. I can't wait to watch it. More amazing stuff.

• Speaking of unknown television, I recorded the first couple of episodes of the new A&E drama Longwire. It's about a lawman out of Wyoming. Other than that...I have no idea. But I dig shows about tough guy lawmen in cowboy hats (see Justified), so I'm willing to give it a go. Anyone watching?

• My pee is gonna smell like asparagus tomorrow. I just know it. Too much information? Tough shit.

That's all I got. See ya!

*When you are in the mood for steak, you have to use the word "hanker". It's the law. 

Time to Ramble

Sure, it's not OFFICIALLY summer yet, but that doesn't mean that we aren't in the full swing of things here at the the Verdant Dude Ranch. I know it's summertime because Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff are rapping about it (again). If that doesn't make it official, then I don't know what does.

My calendar turns to summer officially when we have our first ramble* of the season. I've mentioned it before here, but a ramble involves good food, good friends, good booze and good music. In no particular order. We had a mini-ramble, just my baby and me, on Thursday evening. Just to test the waters, you see. Cranked up our favorite Pandora station, mixed some cocktails and hung out in the backyard overlooking the harbor in the hour or so before sunset. Good times.

Our first official ramble took place on Saturday evening. Some great friends came over and we grilled up some big horkin' chili burgers, drank bourbon, wine and delicious beers, listened to a great playlist that Gia put together on iTunes and had a whole bunch of laughs.  The first ramble of many in the coming months.

Photo by Keb5777...a fellow rambler

So, do you ramble? What do you call it? What does it entail?

*Name inspired by Levon Helm's Midnight Ramble. An event that is still going on even after his death a few months ago. I can't believe that we never made it up there while he was still kickin'. Shame on us...

Trubba Man

Got a comment today from a post from 3 years ago that made me really happy for some reason.

Here is the post and feel free to comment again.

_______________________________________________________

A million years ago (or back in the 80's), I used to read National Lampoon every once in a while. And back then they had a feature that may or may not have been a regular column called "Dear Trubba Man"

It was a fake advice column that they ran with a picture of Joe Frazier, I believe, as Trubba Man.  A picture kind of like that one on the right.  Maybe it was Ken Norton, I dunno.  But I think it was a boxer at the very least.  It wasn't the smartest feature published, and in retrospect it was probably pretty offensive to African-Americans.  But for some reason, I have never forgotten it.

A typical letter would read as follows:

Dear Trubba Man,
My girlfriend recently broke up with me and she threw all of my clothes out on the front lawn. What should I do?

To which Trubba Man would most likely reply,

If it were me, I'd kill da bitch! But seeing as how you seems like a wussy kind of guy, here's whatcha gonna want to do.  Blah blah blah.

And then he would go on about exacting his revenge in some funny/demeaning/stereotypical way.  It was mostly funny because of the picture of Joe (or Ken or whomever). 

Does anyone out there remember this feature from National Lampoon? Am I the only one?  I think Trubba Man would have had a field day with the Michael Jackson funeral.  Seeing as he was a wussy kind of guy and all.

And in totally un-related meanness, which slack-eyed monster is more awful to look at:

Forrest Whitaker or Paris Hilton?  I'm choosing Paris. I'm a hetero white guy, but I would totally stick it to Forrest given the choice of the two.

Because she makes me ill.

Get Prepared

Went onto Yahoo! earlier tonight and found that "Zombie Apocalypse" was the #1 trending topic today.

Makes sense.

In a week in which we've seen a California man bite the nose off of his cousin, a naked Florida man eating the face off his victim and a New Jersey man stabbing himself and throwing bits of flesh and entrails at police officers...well, it makes sense.

This probably isn't the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse. But is shouldn't stop you from making preparations. I'm planning on a little shopping trip to survive the undead horde that is surely coming.  Here's what I'm getting:

• An Axe-handle baseball bat. It just fits your hand really well.
• A Ginsu set of knives. Late-night television tells me that they are the best for zombie killing.
• Bourbon, and lots of it.
• A haircut. Dude like me with a ponytail? That's just one more way for a fucking zombie to catch you. I'd feel silly dying because a zombie dragged me down by my luxurious mane. 
• A slow, fat, dim-witted friend. You know why.
• A middle finger lighter. Because it's bad-ass! And zombies burn real good.
• Some catnip for my cats. They are coming with me on my journey against the undead. I'm not a fucking savage.
• Did I mention bourbon?

What would you make sure you had with you when the shambling dead come calling?

I.L.B.T.'s

This post is inspired by blogger, writer* and all around good egg Erin O'Brien. A few days ago, she posted a video from the band April Wine that was a moderate hit back in 1982. The song in question was called "If You See Kay", and if you say that out loud...well, go read Erin's blog post.

Got me thinking about some of the terrible, raunchy music from the early 80's. And if you read that post, you will see that I commented about a song called "I.L.B.T.'s" (link NSFW-ish) by Joe Walsh from 1983.  An acronym that stands for "I like big tits", which appealed to me when it first came out because I was 16-ish. Still appeals to me now as an older feller. What can I say? I like 'em big. Not making any excuses here.

Anywho...that song came from an album called "You Bought It, You Name It" and there were several songs that got significant airplay from it back in the day, including that one. And yes...a song that proudly stated how much the performer loved big tits had significant airplay on FM radio back in 1983. Believe it or not.

The other two songs from that album were "Space Age Whiz Kids" and "I Can Play That Rock and Roll".  Well, lemme...ugh...oh God! Just watch the videos below and prepare to have soul crushed if you remember 1983 fondly at all.

Okay...a few of things to note.

1. I haven't heard either of these songs in about 25 years. And yet, somehow, when I first found them again on Youtube the other night, I knew them by heart. I mean every lyric and chord of both damned songs. How the fuck is that possible?
2. Both songs are basically about the same thing. A man lamenting an older time when things were simpler and/or better. I'm guessing Joe was feeling a little out of time in 1983.
3. How did Joe Walsh get away with "I Can Play That Rock and Roll" when Bob Seger basically wrote the same exact song 5 years earlier with "Old Time Rock and Roll"? Sure, they sound different, but the message is the same in each. Maybe they were buds, I dunno...

*Read her writing about her brother John O'Brien, author of "Leaving Las Vegas", and his writing here. It's...heartbreaking and awesome.

Orange Whip

"Who wants an Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips."

That's a clip from the film The Blues Brothers. And these things are hard to figure out exactly, but it's probably the movie quote that I've used more than any other in my lifetime. From the time that I started frequenting bars, especially if I was there with two friends, this quote reared its fabulous head.  And you definitely have to include the little whirly hand action that John Candy does so well up there.

Which brings us to a question.  What the fuck is an Orange Whip?

I found out with a quick Wiki search that Candy wasn't actually ordering an alcoholic drink in that clip. There was a bottled non-alcoholic drink called an Orange Whip back then.  In fact, the line was ad-libbed by Candy because someone working in costumes on the flick was the daughter of the Vice President of the Orange Whip Corporation who had been providing refreshments to the cast during production. She approached John Landis about dropping the product name into the film and he agreed to let Candy ad-lib a line. Pretty cool if you ask me.

But I knew that there was an alcoholic (hehe) drink that went by that name as well. And without further ado...here's the recipe via Drink Mixer:

Orange Whip

• 4 oz orange juice
• 1 oz vodka
• 1 oz rum
• 1 package cream

Pour ingredients over ice and stir.

That's right. A whole package of cream. What the fuck is a package of cream?  I honestly have no idea. But I saw this exact recipe on several sites. Wikipedia says to just use heavy cream and blend the fucker up like a milkshake. But I'm left wondering about that package of cream. What the fuck?

Anyone have any clues?

Personal De Niro

I was watching one of my personal favorite Robert De Niro films recently, and I was thinking about how he hasn't made a quintessential Robert De Niro film in a really long movie. A film that is highly entertaining featuring Robert De Niro dominating the screen in just about every scene. Seems as if he has been mailing it in for well over a decade now. That's a shame, because he still shows flashes of brilliance every once in a while, but nothing that can sustain an entire film.

So I started thinking about my favorite De Niro films. Not films that he was in, necessarily. I love The Godfather: Part II, and De Niro is awesome in it. But it's not a De Niro film, if you know what I mean. Same with a film like The Untouchables. He was great as Capone and the film was a ton of fun, but it's not a De Niro film.

So here, without further ado, are my personal favorite Top 5 De Niro films in chronological order:

1. Raging Bull (1980)
2. Midnight Run (1988)
3. Goodfellas (1990)
4. Mad Dog and Glory (1993)
5. Ronin (1998)

I know, I know.  Lots of controversial choices there. No Taxi Driver or The Deer Hunter or The King of Comedy or Cape Fear or The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Sacrilege, right? Those are all great films, well...most of them. It's just that I could watch any of those five listed above at any time and enjoy it as much as the first time I saw them. Taxi Driver is always a film I've had a tough time with. It's a classic and quintessential De Niro, maybe THE quintessential De Niro film. But I've never loved it as much as the rest of the world.  Same with The King of Comedy. The Deer Hunter I recall just as much for the performances of John Savage and Christopher Walken.

Raging Bull was the first De Niro film I ever saw that just floored me. He disappeared into that role like I've never seen him do before or since. Just a brutal portrayal of a damaged man and maybe the best boxing film ever made, and that's saying something.

Midnight Run wouldn't work without the comic pairing with Charles Grodin, but that doesn't make it any less of a classic De Niro film in my book. He was flat-out awesome in it as bounty hunter Jack Walsh.  It's hard to tell, but I hope he had as much fun making that film as I have watching it. Which I have several dozen times now. One of my favorite films of all-time.

Goodfellas might seem like an odd choice at first. It's more of a vehicle for Ray Liotta, who is awesome in it in his own right. Or Joe Pesci for that matter. But having re-watched it a few weeks ago, I was amazed at how much of a De Niro film it is. Much of the drama and action in the film comes as a result of his character's actions and/or behind-the-scenes dealings. Often quiet or composed, he lets his facial expressions do most of the acting. And he dominates doing so. Why not the similarly themed Casino? Eh...it's good, but it feels like a pale comparison to Goodfellas.

Mad Dog and Glory is probably the one that has most of you scratching your heads. I just loved how he played against type. Normally that wouldn't result in a De Niro film, but I think it worked to near perfection in this one thanks to some inspired casting like Uma Thurman, David Caruso and Bill Murray. I think it's one of the more underrated films in his catalog.

Ronin is the film that got me thinking about all this. I love that film, and I watch it nearly ever time it's on. Just watched most of it again on Wednesday night. Another film that De Niro is out front of with a fantastic supporting cast like Sean Bean, Stellan Skarsgaard and Jean Reno. Not only does it feel like a quintessential De Niro film, but it also feels like a quintessential John Frankenheimer film as well. I used to love it for the breath-taking car chase scenes through crowded French streets, but now I watch it for De Niro and the rest of the actors.

Do you have any personal favorite De Niro films that I may have missed?

Alabama Shakes

The answer is no. I'm not planning on making this a music/video blog permanently. It's just where my head is at right now, and that ain't a bad thing.

Next up is a band called Alabama Shakes that a family member introduced us to this past weekend. A real roots rock kinda band. I hear a bunch of stuff that I grew up with in the 1970's in this group of kids who are barely old enough to buy liquor. The key performer, for me at least, is lead singer Brittany Howard. She has some fucking pipes, yo! Fierce!  One might initially dismiss her as trying to hard to be Adele-like, but if you keep listening you realize that isn't true at all. Unique in her own right.

Love the first comment on the embedded clip below. "If you don't like this, then you don't like music." Couldn't have said it better myself.  It's a long clip with an extended performance recorded at a radio station, but it's worth listening to the whole thing. Or find some of their shorter clips from the Conan Show on Youtube. Either way, you are in for a treat.

Dead Sound

I'm loving this song by The Raveonettes lately. A little Blondie meets surf guitar or something not at all like that. But whatever it is...I dig.

Favorite Song of the 1980's

This is mine. What is yours?

PS - I pretty much hate everyone in the band now, especially Ian Astbury. He look like a fool. So almost all of them. Except Billy Duffy on lead guitar. He's fucking harsh!

This close

A crazy person approached me on the sidewalk. I could tell he was crazy because he was gesticulating wildly and yelling/barking at people both real and imaginary.

Made a quick assessment of the situation, and I realized there was no avoiding him. He was coming right at me, fast, and there was no easy way out.

So I decided to keep on moving toward him and make eye contact. He saw this, locked in on me and shouted "YOU...I'M TALKING AT YOU!!!"

Not good. But I remained calm, and I kept eye contact. "Hey. What's going on, man?" I asked.

This seemed to momentarily quell the crazy as confusion took over. "Um, nothing. What's going on with you?" he asked back.

By now our momentums (can I pluralize that?) were taking us past each other.  He with a wake of hardcore crazy streaming behind him. Me with more of a sputtering, bubbly wake of a slight beer buzz.

I looked back over my shoulder at him, smiled and said "Not much. Have a good one, buddy. Okay?"

He, still confused, nodded his head and replied "You too!" And we each made our ways away from each other in opposite directions.

That could have gone a different way. I wonder if he thought at all about the guy on the sidewalk who gave him the barest minimum of the time of day after our brief encounter. I know I'm still thinking about him.

Suggestion

Do yourself a favor.

Sign up for a 2-week free trial of EPIX online and then watch Warrior either on your computer or one of your streaming devices.

I just saw it and I think I need some time to process how much I loved it. I'll be back Monday with my review after I watch it again.

Until then...take my advice above. I don't believe you will regret it.

Pandora Redux

I keep talking about Pandora. That's because it's pretty much my favorite thing ever in the streaming music world. I listen to it all day streaming to my Roku box while I work. I listen to it using an the app on my phone when I'm out and about. I'd listen to it in the car, but we have XM/Sirius there.  I just dig it.

Because it's the only thing out there that introduces me to new artists/music or reunites me with some artists that I haven't heard in a very long time for one reason or another.

Like Gill Landry, an artist who I had never really heard of before. But I was listening to a Tom Waits station that I had set up, and "Mexico" by Mr. Landry has popped up several times over the past few month.  I dig.

Then there is Alice Donut, a band who I LOVED back in the early 1990's. I don't think I've heard anything by them since, well, the last time I mentioned them here on the Dude. But man...I still love some of their stuff. "Magdalene" is such a great song. If you were a fan of Jane's Addiction or Sonic Youth back in the day, then you may enjoy it as well.  Dig times two.

Don't You Just Know It

Watched Snatch again last night. It never gets fucking old. Maybe one of the best soundtracks ever. "Golden Brown" by The Stranglers, "Ghost Town" by The Specials, "Dreadlock Holiday" by 10CC, "Fuckin' in the Bushes" by Oasis...and, of course, "Don't You Just Know It" by Huey "Piano" Smith.

Dig.

Jumpin' Jack Flash*

Every once in a while, scientists figure something out that is not only a break-through, but hilarious at the same time.

Case in point: It's a gas: dinosaur flatulence may have warmed Earth.

Now, I have no idea if dinosaur farts really warmed the Earth in the Mesozoic era, but that headline sure warmed my sick, little heart. There's lots of real science in that article. They calculated the effect of methane production from current numbers of cows, sheeps and pigs. Then they calculated the numbers and average size of dinosaurs living in the Mesozoic. From there they were able to calculate the amount of methane produced and the effect on the environment.

But I don't care about any of that. Because dinosaur farts are funny. And probably really awful. Imagine hanging with your dicky dinosaur friends. Just taking a drive to the movies of something.  Suddenly the dino-driver rolls up all the windows and locks them. You all wait for a second, and then it hits you! Deadly dino-gas! The driver, of course, thinks it the funniest thing in the world. Because not only did they produce prodigious amounts of gas (probably), they also had tiny, tiny brains.

And we all know that creatures with tiny brains find a lot of humor in flatulence.

Wait...what?

*It's a gas, gas, gas. Get it? Derp...

3D Sucks

Here's a tip for movie studios:

If you are aren't planning on 3D effects for the entire film, or if you are thinking about adding 3D post-production, just say no.

It becomes distracting to the viewers if the film switches back and forth from 3D to normal projection because some scenes are just too difficult or expensive to transfer to 3D.

Case in point: I loved The Avengers. There is literally nothing I could say about the film that hasn't already been said thousands of times already by people a helluva lot smarter than me (they wish). My one quibble with it was the post-production 3D*. It made no sense. For example, there was a car chase near the beginning of the film. The chase itself was not in 3D, but every time the perspective switched to inside one of the vehicles the 3D kicked in.

What the fucking fuck is that all about? It was inconsistent at best and distracting at worst.

Just say no.  Seriously.

By the way, Dave2 had a great point (spoiler alert) about another minor quibble with the film. I found it even more minor than he did, and I actually had a different issue with the same point. But, like I said, it was minor. The Avengers was a nearly flawless movie-going experience. Notice I didn't say that it was a nearly flawless film. Hard to judge that yet, but as a movie-going experience it ranks up there with Terminator 2: Judgement Day, LotR: The Fellowship of the Ring and Avatar.  Three movies that made me shake my head and mouth "holy crap!" over and over and over again while watching them in the theater. Doesn't mean they were all incredible films, although I think the first two are. Avatar, besides the incredible effects, was largely forgettable for me. But that didn't distract from how awesome it was to see it in the theater.  

The Avengers was like that. Probably the best super-hero movie I've ever seen. We'll reserve judgement on that until it has had some time to sink in. Just go see it!

*I was warned the night before by several folks to skip the 3D version of the film, but I had already purchased my tix for the next day through Fandango. You live, you learn.

Levon

I'm a few weeks late with this. Sometimes it takes some time to process the events of the day or of the world.

Levon Helm passing away was an event of the world.

I didn't grow up with the music of Levon Helm or The Band. I was late to the the game. I think I started listening to them in my late 20's. Close to 20 years after they, um, disbanded. But once I did, I was done with trying to find the voice of America. It was Levon Helm. Singing about characters like Crazy Chester, Miss Anny and ole Virgil Caine.

There have been more fitting tributes to Mr. Helm in the past week or so than I could ever imagine writing myself. I'm not going to even try.

So do yourself a favor. Go and read Rob Delaney's words here. Then listen to the man himself here.

As Elton John sang, he shall be Levon.

House of Lies

I just finished watching the first season of Showtime's House of Lies starring Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell. Well, amongst others. Great supporting work from Ben Schwartz (Jean-Ralphio!!!), Josh Lawson, Greg Germann, Griffin Dunne and Richard Schiff as well. And Donis Leanord Jr. as Cheadle's cross-dressing son is amazing.

I'm not sure I've ever despised and loved a show this much before.

I love the acting and the storylines and the sheer fucking hotness that is Kristen Bell. I despise the characters and everything they stand for. There is a special place in hell reserved for corporate management consultants. And that's what this show is all about.  Having had some, ahem, experience with these mother-fuckers, I can guarantee that is true.

Which makes loving the show that much more difficult. I initially tried watching the show with Gia, but she got turned off after the very first episode. Because these people and their jobs are awful. I get that. Yet somehow I had to keep watching.  I try to tell myself that it's because of the acting chops of Cheadle and Bell, but I wonder if there is some latent jealousy going on here. The travel, the money, the blatant disregard for the average man/woman on the street.

You see, I dropped out of the corporate life almost 10 years ago. I wasn't a fast-track guy. I put my time and my work in, but I became something of riser in my field because of it. Director, Associate Vice President, Vice President, etc... 80 hours work weeks weren't the exception. They were the norm. And there were perks to go along with it. I almost never went out during the week unless the tab was picked up by the company. And excellent tickets to all the ballgames I wanted to attend. The money was pretty good too, and getting better all the time.

Then 9/11 happened. I know, I know...everyone has their 9/11 story. Mine isn't all that special. I knew some people in the Towers, including my best friend. All of whom survived the attack, by the way. That's not really the point. And, to be honest, my feelings about corporate life had changed before September of 2001. But I just kept on keeping on, like a good zombie. And where my life would lead didn't happen right afterward either. I stuck around, sucking on the corporate teat for another couple of years. But when I looked myself in the soul after 9/11, I knew something had to change.

So here I am now. Wondering where my life would have taken me had I decided to stick with it. I'm certainly happier now than I ever was back then. That's entirely to do with Gia. But the money or the job security in the private sector aren't really something to write home about. So there's that.

Anyway...it's one of those shows that make you think. Or, at least, it's one of those shows that made me think. About what was, about what is, about what could have been.

And I'm not sure how I feel about any of it.