Now it's time to bring up something, well...two things, that are even more important than the life issues discussed in the past few days.
Ellen Barkin and Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos.
They both look delicious, don't they?
Now I know that Ellen Barkin and Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos aren't for everyone. Ellen isn't as young as she used to be and there are plenty of other snacks that folks might like other than those Doritos. Some people might not care for either of them. Those people are fucking idiots.
I dunno what it is about Ellen Barkin that makes me love her so. I hadn't seen her in years until I watched the snoozefest that was Oceans Thirteen last night. A snoozefast except for the scenes that Ellen Barkin lit up with cougar-ish ferocity. She may be in her mid-fifties now, but damn she looks good! I wanted to do naughty things to her last night. Naughty things that involved her naughty and crooked mouth. Mmmm...I love women with crooked smiles, especially older, sexy women with crooked smiles. Reminds me of...well, let's just say someone from my past.
So I took it out on a bag of Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos. Mmmm...they tasted good! I wonder how Ellen Barkin would like them? Maybe she could suck the spicy sweet chili crumbs off of my fingers with her naughty and crooked mouth. I wanted to fuck the shit out of that bag of Doritos. Just bend it over and give it a nasty ride.
Um, you guys know what I mean?